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February 2010
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April 2010

So yesterday was not really a good day. Honestly, it started the day before, when the babysitter left. Ezra cried. No, he wailed. He toddled after her as she opened the front door, his arms outstretched and his face crumpling. She stepped outside and he pounded on the storm door and howled. I picked him up and he tried to push off my chest to lunge after her. She waved and blew kisses at him while looking at me like, "oh God, I'm SORRY," while I tried to smile and put on a brave face even though oh God, this SUCKS. Of course, he got over it fairly quickly -- 10 minutes, tops, but the sting of his preference, of him wanting nothing to do with me even after hours apart, definitely set me up for a crappy sitter-less Tuesday. Nothing I could do was enough. I wasn't fun. I... Read more →


Proof is in the something

I thought making chocolate pudding would be fun. Noah and I would do it together, just us, during Ezra's nap, making up for a morning of too many cartoons followed by boring, tortuous errands and Mommy Not Being Any Fun Because Mommy Was Really Caught Off-Guard By Spring Break And All This Damn Time To Fill. His occupational therapist would be so proud of me, I thought, for coming up with an easy activity that involves some pouring and stirring and touching sticky things and I was so sure he'd be tempted to at least taste the pudding or lick a spoon and I even promised him chocolate chips, for God's sake. And then he realized that the chocolate chips were going in the pudding, for God's sake, what are you DOING, woman, and then I stirred them up and asked him to lick the spoon and it was messy... Read more →


NOTE: I have spent the last two hours waiting for something more interesting to happen that would either bump this post out of publishing contention or make this post vaguely interesting in the least. Clearly, my life is bone-thumpingly dull and I need to embark on more zany adventures over the weekends. I'm thinking of becoming a spy. Or an Ultimate Fighting Champion. Or switching from Blockbuster to Netflix. SOMETHING'S GOTTA CHANGE. Things I Wish I'd Taken Photos of This Weekend: Ezra approaching our friend's three-month-old baby with repeated squeals of BAYBEE! BAYBEE! and then hugging and kissing her. With tongue. Ezra sitting on a different friend's lap and enthusiastically stealing Indian food off his plate and declaring it YUMMEE! YUMMEE! Things I'm Glad I Didn't Take Photos of This Weekend: Ezra barfing up said Indian food all over said friend's lap.* Things I Wish I'd Taken Video of This... Read more →


The Friendship Jungle

Noah's friendship with the little boy next door continues. Though it's only been two weeks and I'd already have to describe it as "rocky." On the other hand, the confidence boost was almost immediate -- Noah excitedly goes outside in search of Other Kids, and is bitterly disappointed when they don't magically appear. One day a couple of (much older) kids rode by on their bikes and Noah greeted them with boundless, innocent joy: "Are you here to play with me?" They (very kindly) admitted that they were not before pedaling off, leaving Noah behind and his little heart melting all over the sidewalk. "They didn't want to play with me," he said quietly. He looked at me with his big brown eyes and I felt my chest clench, but I felt weirdly prepared for this moment. Like I'd been expecting it, ever since Noah marched up and knocked on... Read more →


Spring break arrived early this year, just to mess with me and my Productivity Skills and All The Very Important Bullshit That I Do. (New column up at The Stir, too. Word.) I've got over a week of All Noah, All The Time ahead of me and I really hate to admit this but the last hour and a half I've spent playing some incredibly convoluted game of Thomas trains has robbed me of a decent portion of my will to live. I tried distracting him with a puzzle so I could check my email but he was so displeased at my failure to applaud each and every correctly-placed piece (but oh my God, it's a 100-piece puzzle! At least let me hold my applause until you finish a general area or match up a complete set of fish eyeballs!) that he abandoned it in favor of lying on the... Read more →


Drinking Problem

So. Internet. People of the Internet. YOU THERE. I need to know something. I need to know that I am NOT the only wackalooned paranoid freak who occasionally gets a completely crazy random thought that comes out of nowhere but then decides to burrow in your brain and not leave, even though you KNOW it's crazy random, and eventually you're like, "OKAY FINE, I'll do something about it just so I can know definitively for sure that I'm ridiculous and don't have to worry about it anymore." And then you take said Crazy Random Thought to the appropriate authority figure, expecting to be laughed at, except that then you actually get taken seriously and the authority figure agrees with you that yes, actually, We Must Investigate This Crazy Random Thought Which Actually Could Be Quite Serious. And then you panic and die because WHAT. Translation: About a month ago Ezra... Read more →


My weekend, in bullet form: 1) I found this picture on my phone. A Twitpic from Barnes & Noble that never happened, thanks to the Escalator Incident: Upon much (much) closer examination, the title of this kids' book is actually "Oh, Yuck!" and it's about...I dunno. Bugs and slime and stuff. But from a few feet away, combined with the glare, I thought it said something different. You know, with the U-C-K? But it didn't? Har har? On second thought, the thing with the escalator made a much more interesting story. Thanks for the save, Ez! 2) Jason, the biggest sucker to ever wander into the sporting goods department, bought Noah a pair of rollerblades. The wheels are like, five inches longer than the shoe. He got a new badass helmet and wrist/elbow/knee pads. Jason took him down to the corner and back, while Noah shrieked, "LOOK AT ME, MOMMY,... Read more →


A Special Year

One year ago today, I performed the Heimlich on Noah to save him from choking on a fruit bar, because he liked shoving too much food in his mouth, a common trait of SPD kids. One year ago, he ran away from us in public and threw multiple tantrums a day. We were preparing for his first evaluation from the school district. We were arguing with our insurance company's denial of coverage for speech therapy. He couldn't pronounce "green" correctly. Or ride a bike, or color a picture, or make friends, or do anything that wasn't part of his rigid, inflexible routine. We lost a deposit to a Montessori school that he would not attend, because in just a few weeks he'd have an IEP through our school district and be officially placed in special education. Less than a year ago, I received a report from a psychological evaluation that... Read more →


So. This happened. "This" is Toddler vs. Escalator. We took the boys to Barnes & Noble last night in a fit of "it's gorgeous outside! let's go someplace with the plan of spending time outside but really, who are we kidding, Noah can sense the presence of a Public Thomas the Tank Engine Train Table from within a five-mile radius!" Noah indeed made a beeline for the Swine Flu Comes to Sodor table while Ezra...well, while Ezra proceeded to BE INSANE. He ran down aisles, he knocked books off displays, he responded to every kid-friendly merchandise offering I made with disdain and a wicked curveball throw. He responded to Jason and my calls after him with a downright evil glance over his shoulder right before speeding the hell up in whatever direction he was unsteadily bolting towards. For lo, he'd discovered the escalators. I'd let him stand on one while... Read more →


I'm not sure there's anything more futile than spending significant chunks of time, energy and money on organizing a room that is guaranteed to get thoroughly trashed again in a matter of hours*, but damn, it's satisfying. *Minutes if they've had frosting. Satisfying in the fleeting way that Snickers bars and McDonald's fries are satisfying, but still. Jason was impressed with my preschooler art-project gallery, having been unaware that I'd gone out and bought special hangers for everything. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I'd been struck with the idea randomly at 11:30 pm and just grabbed the nearest box of thumbtacks. Whatever. Thumbtacks were good enough for my New Kids on the Block posters once upon a time, I THINK they're good enough for a fleet of two-wheeled rescue vehicles that I Am Very Sure My Child Had Very Little To Do With. (Though I think... Read more →