Old n' Busted: the Ball Popper.
New Hotness: THIS SHIT
Because let's face it: Kids like bubbles way more than you like sitting there blowing them. Over and over again until your hands are all soapy and your knuckles are scratched up from constantly trying to dig that little annoying wand out of the bottle after it slipped out of your fingers for the millionth time and every other attempt is a dud that produces no bubbles and ladies and gentlemen, THOSE DAYS ARE BEHIND YOU. THE FUTURE IS NOW AND IT INVOLVES BATTERY-POWERED BUBBLE MACHINES.
You may be tempted into thinking that a million bubbles is enough, and that a gazillion bubbles is just marketing overkill.
Don't be fooled. I counted. After a million bubbles we were only having about one-hojillionth of the fun we were having after a gazillion bubbles. That means you're technically getting about four squidillion times the fun for only about $4.99 more.
(This is Noah setting things up so the slide would be like a "car wash.")
(This is Ezra eying the thing warily while Noah busts some bubble kneecaps.)
(He calls them bubbas. It's awesome.)
Another plus: since bubble solution is mostly just soap, I think this (followed by a blast with the hose) counts as a bath.
(Teaching your son to care for your garden while wearing a shirt that says You Don't Win Friends With Salad: +5 irony.)
Hey, remember that time with the bubbles just now? That was great. Wasn't that great? You wanna go see if we can go scale the fence or something now?
Yes, clearly it's been one wild and crazy week around here, in between all the big educational decisions and playdates and turning our backyard into some kind of toddler Studio 54 because YOU KNOW I had Lady Gaga playing the whole time the bubble machine was on. YOU KNOW I DID.
(Oh, shit. I almost published and committed a felony. That link to the bubble machine is an Amazon Affiliate link. Wow. That was a close one. Living on the barest edge of the law, y'all.)