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April 2010
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June 2010

Pierced Through the Heart

Look at me, with my teeny little sensible hoop earrings! SUCH A BADASS. That must be why I'm giving myself the stink-eye in this photo. Here's a close-up of the new hole vs. the old-n-busted sinkhole one: And my peach-fuzz sideburns. You are WELCOME. So, obviously, I did it! I went to a local and reputable tattoo-and-body-piercing emporium and was all, hello, I would like to be your most boring customer ever. I almost wished there was something else I wanted pierced just so I'd seem a little less lame. Honestly, it's probably amazing that I left the shop with just the ear piercing -- I could really see myself getting a giant impulse-buy dragon tattoo, out of a misguided attempt to be polite. *** For Mother's Day, I slept in, then had breakfast in bed, then had to wash Hollandaise sauce from the sheets, then took my own solo self shoe shopping. While I was still sleeping, Noah (with Jason's help) wrote out a large Happy Mother's Day banner. Jason then photographed them all holding it, then made a card of the picture, which they then delivered to me with great ceremony and huzzah. It was all very sweet... Read more →


Guess what! You guys! You wanna know what I'm doing this weekend? Something I've wanted to do for ages and ages and like, forever and now I'm totally gonna do it? I'm getting my EARS PIERCED. Okay, so I'm kind of messing with you there, because my ears are already pierced. Several times, actually. I think my total was...squints at ghosts of piercings past on earlobe...five. Five holes. I got my ears pierced the first time in fourth grade, even though my agreement with my parents was and had always been that I could get them pierced at 12 years old. By fourth grade, though, I was one of only two girls without pierced ears and UTTERLY DESPERATELY MISERABLE. I wore those little sparkly sticker things? Every day? I even kept extras in my desk because they NEVER lasted the whole day and otherwise people would know that I was just wearing STICKERS and not REAL EARRINGS because I was totally and completely FOOLING EVERYBODY, SHUT UP I WAS. Then at home, I waged a relentless campaign of begging, pleading and probably a lot of door-slamming of the YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE variety. I think we eventually negotiated a deal... Read more →


Me: Noah, what did you see on your field trip? Noah: Sheep! And a horse and a pig. Some baby chickens that I put into their house so they could be warm and I was gentle and did a very good job. Me: Wow, that sounds like a lot of fu- Noah: BUT THE BARN, MOMMY. Me: You saw a barn? Noah: But it was not a big red barn. It was green and white. Noah: *throws his hands up in the air, because what's up with that?* Me: I'm...sorry? Not all barns are red, sometimes... Noah: I just wanted to see a big red barn. That is all I wanted ever in my whole life! Noah: *sighs, puts head down on the table, sighs again* Me: Okay, um, did you see any other cool things? Noah: *immediately brightens* Noah: Yeah! Somebody threw up on the bus! Read more →

Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before

I just spent the past two and a half hours working on an post, and just when I was alllllmost happy with it, I went off in search of a different post from my archives to link to as some necessary background information. Which I found. And read. And realized that rather than being "background information," it was the EXACT SAME FUCKING POST. Seriously. I just wrote a post that I'd already written. But didn't realize I'd already written. I'm my own plagiarist. Or the world's most senile hack. I'm really confusing myself right now. I thought I was writing about a story that happened last night, but right there in my archives is evidence that the same thing happened a few weeks ago and I already told you about it, practically word for word. My life is in reruns and I didn't even notice. Anyway. Sorry for that Moment of Meta, but holy crap, that was weird. And now you're like, OKAY, SO DO YOU HAVE A STORY TO TELL US TODAY OR NOT, which is a very fair question, and I'm guessing the story of HEY ONE TIME I WROTE A POST AND THEN REALIZED I ALREADY WROTE... Read more →


So help me, I'm potty-training the baby. I KNOW. Okay, so far it's technically been more of an exploratory mission to gauge potential interest, but early results appear to be promising, though the paper towel usage readouts have been...lengthy. Also: damp. But still. I think we're on the verge of a breakthrough, because the kid's got heart. He's hungry. He wants it. Eyes on the big boy pants prize. His coach is just having a hard time with the fancy iPhone app she got to help her with the timing. Also: keeping her business/sports metaphors consistent. Obviously, this is not a process I shall be extensively documenting, but here is a photo that I believe demonstrates that yes, I am fully aware of how insane I sound right now: WAT. IS THIS WEIRD? THERE'S A KID WITH NO PANTS ON OVER THERE, LEAVE ME ALONE. Read more →

A Very Good Weekend

Jason and I overthink the weekends, sometimes. We get our hearts set on elaborate outings that end up being enjoyable for all of 45 minutes but require three times the planning and travel time. We purposely decided not to do that this weekend, and the most ambitious activity we planned was a trip to the playground. We spent a buck-seventy-five apiece to ride the park's miniature train, which to Noah and Ezra, ranks just above everything else in the world in terms of face-melting awesomeness. For Noah, the most thrilling aspect of the train is the fact that he gets his very own ticket, that the conductor personally takes and punches a hole in, just like in The Polar Express. I especially enjoy watching this very serious transaction early in the season, when the conductor -- usually a teenage boy or retired train-loving grandpa -- is not achingly sick of his life yet and still seems openly charmed by little four-year-old boys who regard him with immense awe and reverence, because in their minds a summer job driving an electric train for the Parks Department is just about on par with being an astronaut or professional dinosaur wrangler. He's a... Read more →