Quixotelah
Farmville

Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before

I just spent the past two and a half hours working on an post, and just when I was alllllmost happy with it, I went off in search of a different post from my archives to link to as some necessary background information. Which I found. And read. And realized that rather than being "background information," it was the EXACT SAME FUCKING POST. 

Seriously. I just wrote a post that I'd already written. But didn't realize I'd already written. I'm my own plagiarist. Or the world's most senile hack. I'm really confusing myself right now. I thought I was writing about a story that happened last night, but right there in my archives is evidence that the same thing happened a few weeks ago and I already told you about it, practically word for word. My life is in reruns and I didn't even notice. 

Anyway. Sorry for that Moment of Meta, but holy crap, that was weird. And now you're like, OKAY, SO DO YOU HAVE A STORY TO TELL US TODAY OR NOT, which is a very fair question, and I'm guessing the story of HEY ONE TIME I WROTE A POST AND THEN REALIZED I ALREADY WROTE A REMARKABLY SIMILAR POST SO I DELETED IT THE END is not the compelling sort of story you're hoping for. 

So. Let's see. Results from yesterday's adventure in exploratory potty training were...mixed, to say the least. I kind of forgot that little things like needing to leave the house really upset the process, as does taking your eyes off your child for a SINGLE SPLIT SECOND. They will sitting on the potty when you go to let the dog out, but will most definitely NOT be sitting on the potty when you return from letting the dog out. 

They will, however, be peeing. Oh, yes, they well. 

Ezra seemed a little frustrated by the end of the day so I figured maybe we'd back off and try again this weekend, or over the summer, but then the sitter came this morning and around 10 am was all, "he just pooped on the potty" like it was no big thing. So...I don't know what the hell is going on. Jesus, I once wrote an entire heart-wrenching post about something that I thought was so momentously important that I completely forgot that the whole momentously important thing already fucking happened to me already. The kid might have been potty-trained six goddamn months ago, for all I know. 

050320101 

Wait, he's WALKING? When did that happen?

Comments

liz

Same thing happens to me often. And, apparently, to Wil Wheaton.

sara

Holy crap Liz that comment made me laugh. And Ez...his pictures kill me. And his pooping prowess makes me feel like I should chop chop with my kid.

Marianne

Man! Go Ezra! We just started potty training my little guy (he turned 2 on 1/29) about a month ago and *I* thought things were going well... But not pooping in the potty well! Awesomeness!

Amy

I'm confused... when did you have a baby?

Suzanne

Is this Groundhog day?

melanirae

you know what that is right?
Simulacra & Simulation....
freeeeaky.

Jenny

Hahahahaha. Best mom-blog post of the day!!

Katie

I knew a kid who nonchalantly pooped in the potty one evening, and then still wasn't actually potty trained for another 4-5 months, sooo....don't feel bad if he doesn't get the hang of it or backtracks :)

charlotte

Wait! Ez didn't just poop in the potty AND start walking, did he?

In which case, I bow before Wonderboy (Boywonder?) and leave work early to practice said walking with Little Miss Kickboxer.

PB&N

There is a reason I leave you for last every day. You crack my shit up Amy and also could you come potty train MY 2 yo?

nancy

Hey. I love you're blog and was excited when I found it recently (and read many archives). I thought, here's a mom like me! But lately... I guess I'm wondering if you've sort of run out of stuff. I mean this last post in addition to the fact that things are pretty sparse lately. Hey, I'm sure material ebbs and flows... like life. But I wonder if this is sort of an inevitable fallout of blogging in general-- eventually, you've shared all your clever "you-isms" and personal stories, and then you're just down to trying to amusingly narrate the past few days. And in between, there's radio silence, because, it's you know... just life. Sort of what happens in your typical relationship. Which, it isn't bad... just, well what happens, but whereas relationships are (hopefully) granted that grace period, a vital blog is not. Do you stress about this? Based on you're readership, I'm sure you're not losing sleep, but as a writer, I'm sure you've wondered this and I think you're smart and funny and well, all around appealing and want to know your thoughts on this topic generally (and personally).

nancy

oh and I apologize for the run-ons above... I am not a writer!!

Issa

Amy, if I didn't like you so much, I'd really hate you right now. Ezra is half potty trained? Sigh.

I know he's only weeks older than my son, who was 19 months on April 25th. But dang it, my son could care less. My girls were potty trained right after they turn two, but I have a sense that Harrison will be 12.

Della

So wait, is that what happened 6 weeks ago? (I'm too lazy to look, but I NEED CLOSURE WAH)

Like Issa above with Harrison... only mine is 26 months and not really that interested in pottying. He'll tell you after he goes, that he went. But that's about it. Sigh.

Thrift Store Mama

Strongly recommend potty training for poop long before trying to train for pee. I found it much easier, because once they poop for the day, most likely, you're home free ! The being tied to the house and to having eyes on the kid was the hardest part of potty training both kids, IMHO.

Angela

My oldest was poo-trained at ~18 months, we did away with diapers all together about a week after she turned two. When you're cloth diapering, those six months of no poopy diapers are a miracle unto itself.

Brandi

I'm with Della, what happened that was the same thing as a few weeks ago?

Go Ezra! Here's hoping he catches on with #1 part fast!

Beth

Srsly, our minds are jelly. What happened 6 weeks ago?

jill

Glad I'm not the only one who is being driven crazy by not knowing what happened last night for the first time except for the other time a few weeks ago. Do please tell again or at least give us a link to the post we already read. Thank you oh so ever much!

...BeccaLynn

Now, all I can think about is what that post was that you'd already written. I woulda read it again, and not even noticed either. Huzzah for Same Sh*t, Different day!

maya

so uh... where's the link your referring to?

MommyNamedApril

my son used the potty for the first time for the sitter too. wtf.

shadymama

my 25month old kid pooped on the potty *numerous* times, like, 4 months ago. also --- on the floor, the couch, and (my personal favorite) the kitchen sink.
what? we're nakedness believers in my house.
aaaanyway - we are still.not.potty.trained. and we never will be. and i will be diapering until i am bent over and ninety and ABOUT.TO.DIE

ohhh - i jest.
kinda.

either way - you'll *totally* make it, and one day, our kids *will* shit on the toilet.
hooray!

Maxine Dangerous

The photo caption provided a giggle on a day when I really needed one. Thanks. :) Hey, let us know when Ezra comes home from college for the weekend, okay? ;)

Kate @ And Then I Was a Mom

Eh, Law & Order has been recycling material for years and I still watch. Plus your writing is better. (TAKE THAT, DICK WOLF.)

-k-

Shut up, Nancy.

Shannon

I babysat for this kid who would pee on the potty for me every single week. And NEVER for his parents! The first time it happened, I thought it wasn't a big thing either, but apparently he had never even MENTIONED the potty, let alone dragged it out from its lonely corner in the closet.

I felt really bad for the parents, but there was not a single thing I was doing to make this happen. Eventually, it just got to be a joke and they promised they would tease him in high school about it. And then even more eventually, he would use the potty all the time and his parents cracked open that bottle of wine they had been saving for the occasion!

jen

keep the potty stories coming, please - even in reruns! and I second the request for more details - just going naked, stickers, candy, thomas trains, time one the iphone? I guess you could say I'm potty-training my 21-mo old twins, but I don't have a real plan yet. we're just sitting on the potty when the spirit moves us.

jen

*on* the iphone. sigh.

Jessi

Maren has been using the potty at the sitter's since Christmas, at least three times a day. Sometimes enough that her only wet diaper change of the day is after nap. However, she has used our (exact same potty as the sitter has, just in case that's what this is about) potty at home twice. Since Christmas.

Rebecca

I don't think Nancy was intending to be rude, but your writing just gets better, Amy. She must not be reading all the other stuff you are writing in addition to this blog, because it is all pretty fantastic :)

Amanda

Yeah, ok. You're already way more successful than I on the potty training front. Wait. You mean I have to let him run around naked? Crap. I forgot about that part.

Heather

This made me laugh out loud while watching something on TV that was not at all funny. Now my husband thinks I'm kind of insensitive and mean. Thanks for that. :)

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