For Anyone Considering a Second Child
July 19, 2010
1) One day YOU will be the asshole attempting to maneuver this giant-ass thing around the Home Depot aisles:
You go ahead and buy a plunger and some new toilet parts -- nobody can see past the bright orange death of your dignity anyway.
(Bonus negative 4,000 points for the matching shoes.)
2) This, constantly:
3) Sometimes, yes, you do get moments like this:
But they will always, ALWAYS be immediately followed by moments like this:
4) The reason your mother probably said "SOMEBODY IS GOING TO GET HURT!" several dozen times a day is because SOMEBODY IS TOTALLY REALLY GOING TO GET HURT I MEAN IT YOU GUYS STOP THAT.
5) And even, when there is this:
It doesn't change the fact that the uncropped version will always, ALWAYS look like this: