I Have Clear Priorities Even In My Sleep
But They're a LIMITED EDITION!

For Anyone Considering a Second Child

1) One day YOU will be the asshole attempting to maneuver this giant-ass thing around the Home Depot aisles:

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You go ahead and buy a plunger and some new toilet parts -- nobody can see past the bright orange death of your dignity anyway.

Photo (36) 

(Bonus negative 4,000 points for the matching shoes.)

2) This, constantly:

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3) Sometimes, yes, you do get moments like this:

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But they will always, ALWAYS be immediately followed by moments like this:

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4) The reason your mother probably said "SOMEBODY IS GOING TO GET HURT!" several dozen times a day is because SOMEBODY IS TOTALLY REALLY GOING TO GET HURT I MEAN IT YOU GUYS STOP THAT.

5) And even, when there is this:

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It doesn't change the fact that the uncropped version will always, ALWAYS look like this:

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Comments

Starbuck

LOL the matching shoes!! And they are so cute all cuddled together.

Mrs. D

Awww! They are charming even in their mischeiviousness.

Kiki

That is all true. And yelling "Let him have it! , I don't care what it is."

HereWeGoAJen

Wait, I only have the one child and she still insists upon being driven around in those giant, hard-to-push cars.

Also, have you seen that, um, wait, I think it was Toys R Us (or maybe Kmart) got the toy strollers in blue? I mean, blue with pink hearts or something, but still mainly blue and white. And only $8 or something.

Gina

Oh dear, my house is so SO much worse. And those quiet peaceful moments are few and far between. They only get louder and messier, I tell ya!

Lesley

We're actually discussing when we'll start trying for a second, so this was very timely and informative.

I have to admit, though... we only have the one and our house looks like that, too. Or worse.

Gina

Oh dear, my house is so SO much worse. And those quiet peaceful moments are few and far between. They only get louder and messier, I tell ya!

Lesley

We're actually discussing when we'll start trying for a second, so this was very timely and informative.

I have to admit, though... we only have the one and our house looks like that, too. Or worse.

Celina

I have one kid so far and we can't walk into any grocery store without loading him into those massive contraptions. You can't back them up and I always get it stuck up against the shelves since its wheels won't rotate. BUT I get fewer yells or kicks in the stomach when he's facing me. meh

jonniker

So the other night, I was sitting here WRINGING MY HANDS and going through your entire archives around the time that Ezra was wee, trying to determine how it all worked, and did you survive and HOW and THEN WHAT and HOW DID THE SUMMER GO? and it was me, that mysterious person, reading pages and pages and pages of your blog, trying to decide when and if to have a second.

I did this the first time, when you first had Noah and I ended up with a baby who is ... nothing like Noah, and our experiences were night and day. AND YET. I still believe all of this will be HELPFUL.

Argh. What I do know is that kids get easier and more awesome, and that photo selection looks AWESOME, chaos aside ... it's the newborn thing. Can I deal with a newborn? ARGGHHHH.

Hannah

My boys are the same age as yours. My house totally looks like that. All the freakin' time. The only differences really between your pictures and mine is that a) my boys have darker hair and b)the car-carts at my local hardware store are dark green.

And we're heading for a third. I won't have dignity or nice things for another 20 years.

Suzanne

Why didn't you post this, like, 18 weeks ago - BEFORE I was all "oh yes, two days before my baby's first birthday is an AWESOME time to get pregnant!"

Although I still think my baby-obsessed brain would see every one of those pictures as evidence that two bebehs is better than one. Nom and awwww and all manner of other adorable noises.

Suzanne

Why didn't you post this, like, 18 weeks ago - BEFORE I was all "oh yes, two days before my baby's first birthday is an AWESOME time to get pregnant!"

Although I still think my baby-obsessed brain would see every one of those pictures as evidence that two bebehs is better than one. Nom and awwww and all manner of other adorable noises.

Dawn

That? That is not messy. The toys in my house have taken over every. single. room. And one of mine is still an infant...

Though I do look forward to the time when Noah can beat the crap out of Noelle. I'm just sayin'.

Dawn

That? That is not messy. The toys in my house have taken over every. single. room. And one of mine is still an infant...

Though I do look forward to the time when Noah can beat the crap out of Noelle. I'm just sayin'.

Sheila

I only have one and my uncropped photos always look like that, because if he's awake, the toys are EVERYWHERE.

And he would totally be climbing those bookcases to get at the stuff on the top shelf.

Sprite's Keeper

For a second there, I thought you were trying to dissuade me from having a second child. If that was your plan, FAIL.
(Too cute!)

Julie

...and you might get pregnant with twins, in which case you can scoff at what Amalah seems to fondly believe is clutter, and you can listen to your kids fight about who gets to ride in the g-d Home Depot cart, since there are only seats for two.

I'm guessing.

Julie

...and you might get pregnant with twins, in which case you can scoff at what Amalah seems to fondly believe is clutter, and you can listen to your kids fight about who gets to ride in the g-d Home Depot cart, since there are only seats for two.

I'm guessing.

Julie

...and you might get pregnant with twins, in which case you can scoff at what Amalah seems to fondly believe is clutter, and you can listen to your kids fight about who gets to ride in the g-d Home Depot cart, since there are only seats for two.

I'm guessing.

Christina

I love this post! I wish my boys were smiling when they played in that way. My pictures would show a little one biting his older brother at the end. :(

Christina

I love this post! I wish my boys were smiling when they played in that way. My pictures would show a little one biting his older brother at the end. :(

Julie

...and you might get pregnant with twins, in which case you can scoff at what Amalah seems to fondly believe is clutter, and you can listen to your kids fight about who gets to ride in the g-d Home Depot cart, since there are only seats for two.

I'm guessing.

Amanda

Your house is much cleaner than mine. I stepped on so many tiny pieces of stuff this weekend I came thisclose to boxing it all up when they went to bed. LOL! I'm also astonished at the things that come out of my mouth lately....oh the trouble two girls can dream up!

Julie

...and you might get pregnant with twins, in which case you can scoff at what Amalah seems to fondly believe is clutter, and you can listen to your kids fight about who gets to ride in the g-d Home Depot cart, since there are only seats for two.

I'm guessing.

Amanda

Your house is much cleaner than mine. I stepped on so many tiny pieces of stuff this weekend I came thisclose to boxing it all up when they went to bed. LOL! I'm also astonished at the things that come out of my mouth lately....oh the trouble two girls can dream up!

Amanda

Your house is much cleaner than mine. I stepped on so many tiny pieces of stuff this weekend I came thisclose to boxing it all up when they went to bed. LOL! I'm also astonished at the things that come out of my mouth lately....oh the trouble two girls can dream up!

Jen.

Oh, so right there with you... Home Depot, the grocery store, Target (those are even worse). Couches (despite the oldest breaking his arm jumping on the couch, it matters not), the hair pulling, toy dangling, and the complete lack of toy control, I would not trade it for the world.

Jamie

How were you able to photograph my life, too? Yep, exactly that way, but mine are 9 and 6 now. A lot more hitting and hurting of each other than I'd like keeps happening.

Sheryl

Ah! So funny! This is also, soooo my life right now. My mother commented that my older one has been quite nasty to the younger one lately...here it comes!
Glad to see you've bravely broken out the Bjorn potty for Ez. We're doing the same, but he has no interest in sitting for more than a few moments, then shouting "Ta-da!"

PopMommy Pam

Yes, exactly. Just exchange the Home Depot cart for the green racecar one at the grocery store.

Uber impressed you go to Home Depot, BTW. I'm way too girly.

PS - Love the awesome comfy blankie.

chatty cricket

OMG I think we have the same couch.

And for anyone considering three or more children, I can say: This Post Times Infinity.

Christina

My house is worse than yours too, and I don't even have kids yet...I just have a husband who likes to keep things outside drawers. Who needs drawers? Really?

Christina

My house is worse than yours too, and I don't even have kids yet...I just have a husband who likes to keep things outside drawers. Who needs drawers? Really?

Karen Chatters

Sure, now you post this. I'm 27 weeks pregnant, now what do I do? How do you feel about a third child? Should I just ship this baby your way? We don't know for sure but I'm pretty sure it's a boy, 3 boys can't be that much more than 2, right?

Karen Chatters

Sure, now you post this. I'm 27 weeks pregnant, now what do I do? How do you feel about a third child? Should I just ship this baby your way? We don't know for sure but I'm pretty sure it's a boy, 3 boys can't be that much more than 2, right?

Karen Chatters

Sure, now you post this. I'm 27 weeks pregnant, now what do I do? How do you feel about a third child? Should I just ship this baby your way? We don't know for sure but I'm pretty sure it's a boy, 3 boys can't be that much more than 2, right?

Jennifer

Sooooo cute! Makes me want to have #2 right now. You are a lucky, lucky girl, Amy.

anna

I have two boys, ages 4 and 17 months. I could crop their heads onto those pics and that would be my life.

ZDub

I want to introduce myself to whatever MAN invented those carts, the car carts at the grocery store and Spanx and punch them in the nuts.

I feel like a douchebag using all three.

ZDub

I want to introduce myself to whatever MAN invented those carts, the car carts at the grocery store and Spanx and punch them in the nuts.

I feel like a douchebag using all three.

kari weber

I LOVE the potty in the middle of the floor. And I second the PP who mentioned that her children would be climbing those bookcases, because, holy cow so would mine. At our grocery store it is a car the kids sit inside that has a little TV that plays Disney programs. It is actually quite nice.

Amanda

I'm pretty sure your boys and my boys would be instant best friends. I think they might be the same kids, actually. I love the "resting" on the couch photo...I have a few myself. And yes, the uncropped versions are just about identical.

Kristin

You captured my life completely except I have a third boy.

elsimom

just have a third one - then everyone expects it to be chaos, and they just shrug their shoulders at the mess. (It helps if all three are adorable - and you're off to a good start there!) Also, that way if two are fighting, chances are the third one is being cute, and you don't feel so bad about it. PLUS - I love how the bigger two interact with the little one (so indulgent of her - especially as compared to how they treat each other!) Yep, 3 is the answer.

Jessica V

Oh yes - this is exactly what my life with two very similar boys is like. Oye.

Miss Britt

I LOVE that you showed the uncropped version.

Now tell me - is that a high chair or a potty chair in your living room?

Cant It Be About me

How cute! I remember when my boys were adorable like that-12 & 10 now. FYI...the mess grows with them. My floor is COVERED with glow-in-the-dark bb's from airsoft guns and screws from deconstructing every mechanical thing in sight. AND, we have hardwood, so they're constantly rolling around. Enjoy these times!

Momnivore

I miss my bookcases...the boys were scaling them...

Your family room looks like mine. On a clean day.

Jessica

Oh man. I was totally set on having a girl next time (like I have a choice) and now I'm aching over have two boys!

Stacia

oh that's funny because i just wrote about that today. just experienced my first home depot cart-o-ridiculousness this weekend.

Laura Jackson

Tell the truth, you picked up some toys before you took that last picture. My girls are 5 and 1 and I call it a successful day when enough of the plastic crap has been put away that you can see how badly my carpet needs vacuuming.

Heather

these points all also can apply those who dreamily say

"I wish I had twins"...

Heather

these points all also can apply those who dreamily say

"I wish I had twins"...

Sirena

Amy, I know there's an undercurrent of a cautionary tale here, but it just makes me yearn more for a bunch of little squinkers running around! Plus, our living room looks like that sometimes too, and all we have to blame is one little Yorkie. Your little guys are so cute. The heinous Home Depot orange crush truck, not so much.

Sirena

Amy, I know there's an undercurrent of a cautionary tale here, but it just makes me yearn more for a bunch of little squinkers running around! Plus, our living room looks like that sometimes too, and all we have to blame is one little Yorkie. Your little guys are so cute. The heinous Home Depot orange crush truck, not so much.

Debi (Truthful Mommy)

BWAHAHAHA! OMG, how I HATE the giant race car carts. My girls ( oh yes, princesses who like to drive fast in big obnoxious carts) love these bastards! I always run into several end caps and a few innocent bystanders! Yes, I always say 1 is 1 but 2 is like 10! The chaos that ensues is ridiculous but so is the silliness and in the same instant tears and laughter, best friends and worst enemies! My house always looks like a tornado hit it! No unannounced play date pop ins please:)Happy Mothering!
Debi
http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com/

Alias Mother

I was going to say, "Oh, your house isn't so bad" and then I realized that there is a potty in the middle of your living room.

So now I think we are tied.

crabbyappleseed

I really need you to write an entry about how you keep all that stuff on those bookshelves without Ez repeatedly taking it all off and piling it up on the floor.

crabbyappleseed

I really need you to write an entry about how you keep all that stuff on those bookshelves without Ez repeatedly taking it all off and piling it up on the floor.

crabbyappleseed

I really need you to write an entry about how you keep all that stuff on those bookshelves without Ez repeatedly taking it all off and piling it up on the floor.

crabbyappleseed

I really need you to write an entry about how you keep all that stuff on those bookshelves without Ez repeatedly taking it all off and piling it up on the floor.

Jacqueline

I swear that post could have been written in my living room. I'm glad to see it is about par for the course!

lizneust

Just to set the record straight on boys versus girls, there IS NO DIFFERENCE. Oh sure, they toys are pink and purple instead of blue or green. But you could swap my two bundles of sugar and spice (6 and 4) into every single picture. Including the one where everyone is hanging upside down on the couch. Because "that's gymnastics, Mommy."

And my living room is a complete train wreck.

KJ

OMG I laughed so hard at your comment on the first picture... I'm sure the boys will appreciate your sacrifice one day... ok maybe not but I give you bonus points for mother of the year.
Also, their cute snuggly pictures definitely made me want the next one (hopefully another boy) that i'm working towards.

adequatemom

I love this! Signed, mother of an only child. <3

erin

I've got 2 boys and yep, you hit it right on the nose! We have a Lowe's closer to us, so we're always driving the blue racecar through the aisles :-) I was just thinking the other day that they're gonna get hurt one day playing on the couch as much as they do!

Deb

Aww, how cute they are! I had a dream about you and them last night, I woke up going wow Amy would be so cool to hang out with! It was a fun dream!

Deb

Aww, how cute they are! I had a dream about you and them last night, I woke up going wow Amy would be so cool to hang out with! It was a fun dream!

NaysWay

You just, basically, came to my house and took photos. Thanks. Saved me the trouble. LOL

kellyannecat

Love this! Great stuff.

kellyannecat

Love this! Great stuff.

Mary

Just wait until you add another- it only gets louder messier cuter more dangerous and more fun! Also older folks in stores go nuts when they see three little boys together- I can't go anywhere without an older gentleman coming over to comment on his days of mischief with his brothers!

Moxie-Dude

Very funny! And oh-so-true. One minute they're making you grit your teeth and the next minute they're making your heart melt.

kris

Mine are 5 and 8 with WAY more mess that just keeps spreading. They get messier as they get older and from what I hear the teenage years are even messier. I have given up. I am at one with the mess!

Super cute pics of the boys!

kat

i die from the cuteness. seriously.

statia

Are you in my brain? Because I swear, I come over here and you've STOLEN MY THOUGHTS.

We have the same thing, except there's a lot of "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WILL YOU PLEASE STOP TOUCHING EACH OTHER?"

golfinggrannie

Believe me, don't despair - the third one raises himself.

Marianne

I'm so looking forward to this reality! :)

LOD

I'm nestling myself in the sea of your commenters to say, Yes. Brother are born with an innate urge to beat the snot out of each other.

Rachael

I HATE those car carts. They are impossible.

mrsmouthy

Those car carts should require you to show proof of insurance first. I can't count the amount of people or things I've knocked flat trying to steer around a corner.

Lisa

love the uncroopped version. My two boys are now 19 and 16. I won't put an uncropped version of what the basement looks like this summer because, well, it's scary....
I too have insomnia. I have finally made peace with it, having tried all the stuff known to man. I tried Lunesta for awhile and had the memory loss stuff. Don't want to give you TMI, but my "behavior" was something my husband LOVED. too bad I don't remember it. He threatens to slip it in my chamomile tea...So, yeh, stay away from that stuff! I did find a Cd and book that was somewhat helpful..."I can make you sleep."

Christina

LOL uncropped photo!!! Because that's my house too!

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