Seven Weeks, Take Two
Miracle Man

The Thing I Didn't Tell You About Because I Don't Like Making You Worry

(Edited to add for clarity: This is a story about something that happened LAST THURSDAY. As in, before I posted yesterday's ultrasound results, which were YAY and GOOD. Yes, I have chosen to discuss my pregnancy before the three-month-mark, come good or bad or disaster, because...well, it's my blog and I'm like that. Have always been like that, actually, because I very much depend on the support network I have here...again, come good or bad or disaster. I did not mean for this story to sound insensitive -- it happened, it was scary, it was okay.)

(Seriously, about that last bit: IT WAS OKAY.)

On Thursday morning, after Noah's occupational therapy appointment, I chatted with his therapist and breezily, brazenly -- and completely impulsively -- blurted out the pregnancy news. I'm still not sure why, because she in no way fits into my squishy parameters of Invisible Internet Person and/or Real Life Person In Whom I'd Depend On In The Event Of A Miscarriage Anyway. But the words fell out of my mouth, and that was that. The news was out. And now that I've mentioned it, do you mind watching my kids for two quick minutes because OH MY GOD I HAVE TO PEE SO BAD.

I dashed down the hall to the restroom, which was occupied, and I bounced from foot to foot impatiently for what seemed like FOREVER until the door opened up. 

I was barely done sighing with relief over making it to the toilet when I realized I was bleeding.

I stared at the reddish spot on the paper and blinked a few times, my brain immediately reminding me to NOT PANIC, THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE. Twice before, once during each pregnancy, each time the result of a raging urinary tract infection and nothing more. I took a deep breath and stood up...

And immediately saw the bloody clot-like thing in the toilet. That had...definitely not happened before.

Looking back, I have to commend myself for not simply slumping to the floor in a weepy fit. That was not even an option. My children were in the lobby waiting area, surrounded by other kids and parents and center staff and we needed to get home and get lunch in time for Noah to catch the school bus and get Ezra down for a nap.

Once all of that happened, I thought, I could deal with this. But not until then. 

I went back out and weakly collected the boys and waved goodbyes and hustled them out to the car. I drove us home, ordering myself to STOP THINKING ABOUT IT and focus on the road, which had about as much impact as if I randomly commanded Noah to stop talking about Star Wars all the damn time. 

Of course, I mentally chided. OF COURSE. Way to go, telling people, including blurting it out all willy-nilly to semi-casual-acquaintances! Way to go, telling your mom! Next time just kick her directly in the head yourself, and save some time. You thought this was "meant to be?" That you "deserved" this? Or some shit? You're a goddamn pollyanna dumbass, Amy. 

(Let me tell you, there is nothing more fun than trying to navigate Washington, DC-area traffic in the pouring rain while in the midst of an existential crisis of faith.)

I got us home and slapped together some peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches before dashing into the bathroom, convinced that I was going to witness some horrible horror show of pureed bloody dreams, but...there was nothing. Nothing except a slight burning sensation when I peed that I hadn't noticed before. 

Oh.

Oh. 

Yes. Once again, I managed to get myself COMPLETELY and IRREVOCABLY keyed the fuck up over yet another UTI. I needed cranberry juice and some antibiotics, not a D&C and some mourning sweatpants with a giant box of wine. I was fine, otherwise, and still fully pregnant with a fully alive little blob-thing.

Last night, I threw up for the first time. And I was totally okay with it. Grateful, even. 

PS. My dad made it through a session of chemo yesterday with flying colors. It was a "lite" low-dose day and they're upping the meds back to 11 today, so I know he could use your thoughts/prayers/virtual-fist-bumps/whatevers. Let's turn this string of good news into an honest-to-God streak, already. 

Comments

Laura Scarborough

hugging you even though i am thousands of miles away.
and hurray for throwing up!

Hilary

You have my thoughts/prayers/virtual-fist-bumps.

Martha H.

On it, lots of good vibes and fervent prayers being sent your way, for you and your family!

Amy Jo

That must have been totally sucky. Glad to hear the blob is alive and blobbing.

Starbuck

Here's hoping for that honest-to-God streak.

Issa

I think in that situation, you did phenomenal. I can also see why waiting until after seeing baby Blobby on a screen makes more sense.

*hands Amy some chocolates* I think you need these more than me. Hugs.

Mel

DUDE. Now I need a Xanax, STAT. I'll have one for you too, Amy. Gaaaahhhhh!

Missie

Don't scare me like that again. I'm serious.

Betsy

I had a bad episode of bleeding at 7-8 weeks, and was sure I was miscarrying (after getting pregnant via IVF, yay). Luckily I was able to get to my IVF doc that day and they did an ultrasound that showed the baby was okay. Giant sigh of relief. They never did figure out what caused the bleeding. I later found out from Dr. Google that something like 25% of all pregnancies involve some sort of bleeding. Sometimes it's a sign of miscarriage, sometimes not. No one tells you these things!! I'm glad that baby of yours is hanging in there.

I'm sending good thoughts to your dad today too.

Julie

Well, I appreciate you not wanting to worry us, but you know we care about you! And we're (yes, I do speak for all of the interwebs...why do you ask?) so glad things are cruising along just fine still. :)
And total internet high-fives to your Dad! That's fantastic news to hear.

Zarah

I've never said "Congratulations on your urinary tract infection" before, but I think it is appropriate in this case! Hurrah for low grade infections!

andrea

It happened to me too and it's just horrifying. I spent all day googling the what ifs.. I hate the first tri. I can deal with the nausea it's the panic attacks that suck.

megan

SO HAPPY FOR YOU. Lordy, that gave me quite a scare.

bookworm

Oh I'm so happy that you're ok! I was crying halfway through your post, and then I actually gasped for joy when you finished.

Liz

OK, so I'm not from Jersey but fist-pumping sounds the most fun, so I'll start with a pump to the ceiling for blobs with heartbeats, welcome UTI's that mean anything but miscarriage, a successful chemo stint at 11 and maybe, possibly a LITTLE BABY GIRL STORCH.

And now I'll put that in prayer form.

And now I'll tell you how EXCITED I am about your little blob thing! I'M EXCITED.

Jen L.

That hurt my stomach. SO glad everything's ok and VERY happy to hear your dad did well with his chemo. Xoxo to you, the family and especially baby blob-thing. (Can we get a better nickname stat? Tell Noah to get on that!)

eva

Yay for the first vomit of this pregnancy! And congratulations on the UTI!

Heather Ben

Good luck to papa amalah!

Hang in there!

Megan

Oh, my goodness, I hope that I can meet you one day, because I'm buying you the biggest drink, like, EVER (after the baby's born, of course).

Since we're all sharing, I had a UTI when I was pregnant with Liam. I'd never had a UTI before, so when I saw the blood, I didn't even think of that as a possibility - I thought I was having a miscarriage, and to this day, I have no idea how I got home from work without wrapping my car around a tree.

But seriously, I'm glad that's all it was. And yeah, probably a good thing you didn't tell us at the time, because you would have probably gotten a hundred different armchair diagnoses.

Denice Johnson

harmless bleeding during pregnancy is one of those asshole things that should be against the law. it is cruel and mean and awful. i say we call someone and have it done away with for good. anyone know who that someone is? who exactly is in charge of things like that?

so glad it was just a UTI and i'm sending your father the very best wishes possible.

Victoria Winters

Oh my god. I think I just stopped breathing. I'm SO, sososososososooso, glad it's not what you thought.

kim

You are totally allowed to overreact to blobby bleeding in the first trimester. Because holy crapola, that was scary even after the headline.
Also - never been grateful for the horrible burning awful pain that accompanies any UTI I get before.

Melissa

First I thought, damn, I'm gonna cry after I read this. Then I got to the good parts, all is well, whew, no need to....wait. crying with relief for you. dammit.
congrats on the uti.

Heather

I can so relate. I am about 9 weeks now with my first and I had bleeding twice during the 5th week. I was so upset! Luckily, all is well but it is so scary! I am really enjoying reading your zero to forty column - it is such a help!

Brittany

Dude. DUDE. Do not scare me like that again, please, okay? Reading your potential miscarriage post with its looming heartache...yeah, I could've done without that.

On the plus side: Blobby is fine, hooray! AND: hooray on the chemo skillz, Amalah's pops! Keep 'em comin'!

Mary Garner

God, those first three months are scary. I had a UTI during my second month of pregnancy with my now-16-month-old son and had some bleeding. Scared the hell out of me. I've had dozens of UTI's in my life and never had any bleeding with one before then. Why do our bodies have to have such a sick sense of humor anyway?

Marilyn (A Lot of Loves)

Fist bumping and praying all over.

Goddess in Progress

Glad it was something easily treatable!

God, I hate the first trimester. I spent 12 weeks waiting for the bleeding that (thankfully) never came, and was a nervous wreck the whole time.

Casie

Fist bumps o'love and prayers for you and your awesome pops.

Stephanie

Thinking good thoughts for your dad! And glad that Baby Blob is still doing well. Sucks about the UTI...

Swistle

*RELIEF*

Brooke

Oh, mercy. I had some spotting in my first trimester. At six weeks, four days, actually. It was not a UTI, but it was very light and evidently not problematic. Still, I remember so vividly how cold and numb I felt when I saw blood in my underwear. I couldn't tell if I was cramping or not because my stomach was in knots. I spent that weekend curled up on the couch, going to the bathroom every 10 minutes to check and make sure I wasn't still bleeding. It's a terrifying thing to be open and hopeful and to have to think about how quickly everything could change. I never thought I'd tell someone I'm glad they have a UTI and are barfing, but, hey, I'm glad for you.

Kristen

While I am truly glad that you didn't miscarry, I have to say that that was probably the most self absorbed, insensitive post you have ever written. First off you tell everyone on the freaking internet at 6 weeks that you are pregnant. Then to write that entire post in such a way to have everyone thinking you may have had a miscarriage only to end with OOPS its a UTI was too much. Keep some details to yourself! There are some people out there having ACTUAL miscarriages that may not find this anecdote amusing.

lisa

Ok it took me three tries before I could read this post because i was so scared it would not end well. I have never been so happy to hear about someone having a bad uti until today. And big situation and snooki fist pumps all around for your dad.

charlotte

Feel free to send the D&C coupon and the sweatpants my way. I started bleeding last Tuesday and had lost my 7-week-old pregnancy by Thursday evening.

Here's sending you lots of sticky baby vibes.

Ms Miscarriage

I have read you over the years and there have been occasions when I have thought to myself, this girl is so self absorbed. But this post, is completely over the top. How much attention do you require? Sharing your pregnancy at 6 weeks is way premature and then sharing this?? It is completely insensitive to those of us who have miscarried. I am sure you did not think about it but its true and while many of your readers are just saying "YAY you have a UTI" I will tell you the truth...you are a selfish brat!

Leandra

Even though I knew you were okay my heart was still in my throat. Is it okay if I live this pregnancy vicariously through you? 'Cause my husband just met the snip doctor for the first time yesterday and we're done with babies, but my God I'm excited for you.

Amalah

Kristen, I started this post with the words "last Thursday." I posted the good results of an ultrasound yesterday. The title of this post was at least, supposed to make it very clear that I was talking about something in the past that indeed, turned out to be nothing worth worrying about.

I really didn't mean for it to read like there was going to be a terrible ending -- I told it how the day unfolded, not meaning for it to be "amusing" but you know, just a story about a scary day that happened, told from a safer vantage point.

charlotte - I am so, so deeply sorry for your loss.

Parsing Nonsense

So glad you and your blob-baby are doing fine!

Erin

Ms Miscarriage, if you feel like Amy is so self-absorbed, STOP READING HER BLOG. There's nothing selfish about sharing good pregnancy news, and there's nothing selfish about sharing good it's-not-a-miscarriage news. It's her blog and you don't have to read it. I'm sorry that you've lost pregnancies, but I would think that someone who knew what that felt like would be happy to hear that Amy (or anyone else) wasn't going through it.

sarawr

Oh my Lord, I nearly had a broken-heart-attack reading this. I'm glad everything is okay with the baby, and I hope things continue to go as well as possible for your dad. And now I want that giant box of wine.

professormama

I'm glad your scare was just a UTI, but from my own experiences I'd encourage you, and all the mamas out there... to try not to count on anything until the three month mark.
In between my 2 healthy children (and problem free pregnancies) I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks. It was just a very light spotting I ignored for a few days, then not so much.
I know this is a crappy, downer kind of story, but what it taught me was this: do not get ahead of myself. So much of the difficulty of a miscarriage is the disappointment, and feeling cheated out of something you thought you already had.
I'm sure your pregnancy will be healthy and problem free, but I just had to comment for all the other mamas out there- we can save ourselves a lot of heartache by holding back on our expectations a little while.
Most miscarriages, like mine, are inexplicable and happen after one or more healthy pregnancies, they are not anyone's fault. After I had mine I found out that a bunch people I knew had been through it. It's something we get through, and while we each handle it and think of it differently, it will be ok even if does happen to us. So anyone out there reading this, that has miscarried or is worried about early pregnancy loss, it's not something we get to control, and even if it happens you will be ok, and you can still have another healthy baby.
Wishing you and all your currently pregnant readers peace of mind and body.

Peachy

Ms Miscarriage, you are an ass. No one requires you to read this blog, and if you cannot be supportive of a fellow human - and P.S. cannot be gracious about the fact that Amy has chosen to let us into her life - I respectfully suggest you lessen your blog time and up your psychotherapy time. "Self-absorbed"? Look in the mirror. But you'd better push aside "callus" and "ungrateful" if you want to see it.

Amy, sorry for hijacking your blog to rant, but that person really just pushed my buttons. Hooray that your scare was only that, and even hooray for puking! :) (But don't quote me on that 5 months from now if you're still doing it! :p )

Rachel

Hugs to you, and the people with the negative comments can just stop reading you if they are so offended, IMHO. Haven't they read the sh*t your family has been going through lately? I'm glad you shared the happy news even if people think you should have waited to tell us (your internet BFFs). You can say whatever you want, it's your blog. I have miscarried twice, so totally understood where you were coming from in the post... and glad it was just a UTI. I didn't think you came across as selfish, just telling us what you were going through/thinking at the time. Happy for you and here's a fist pump for your dad from ND. = )

Peachy

And also... {{{hugs}}} for Charlotte, since I'm hijacking the blog anyway. Been there, it sucks. I hope your recovery - in all ways - is swift.

Kacie

Hoping that your UTI goes AWAY!!!! And thinking all of the time about your Dad. Hugs. Love you! :)

Michelle

I've never been so happy to hear about someone throwing up!
I hope the uti clears up fast.

the grumbles

fist pumps! gooooo baby!

i had some pretty HEAVY crazy bleeding twice in my third trimester and had no idea what was going on. i didn't blog about it or tell anyone because i didn't want to scare them. in retrospect, i wish i had just been open about what happened. it's ok to process things as on the fly and that's what we're all (mostly) here for– to support you, regardless.

Della

Thank you for that title, keeping the internet-bff-freakout-on-your-behalf to, like, a 5 or 6 instead of jumping straight to 11 with ya.

Spring

Amy, thanks for continuing to share your life with us. And for your honesty. That is all.

Alecia

Um, scary! That would have freaked me out and you are amazing for remaining so calm in the face of those circumstances! Glad everything is okay!!

Cindy

Whoa. Almost cried because I was so scared for you. But .. YAY! Blob is okay!! So happy for you.

You Negative Nellies need to shush it. You don't HAVE to read this blog, and -- hello? It's Amy's blog. She can write whatever she wants in it. If you actually read her posts, you'd know she was the least self-absorbed person on the planet. Yeesh. Lighten up.

liz

((Amalah)) So relieved for you.

Amy

*virtual fistbump*

Brenda Flynn

Here's hoping there's nausea, bloating, scatterbrainedness and a huge bowl of your favorite treat in the near future. Early pregnancy is a tough time, and even tougher when you're "expected" to go through it alone and without sharing all the hard bits because something bad might happen. (Er, especially when you're a blogger who makes her living sharing about what's going on.)

I've had to post "So I have some bad news about this pregnancy" to my own blog... twice. I was always glad that I had people's support and understanding when I was going through the hard times (and some folks found it very liberating -- they could talk about their experiences too). I was also really glad when after all that my fourth pregnancy was fine and uneventful and look! Heartbeat! Happy baby!

I guess that what I'm saying is that having done pregnancy with both good (2) and bad (2) outcomes, I'm nothing but rooting for you to have a gorgeous little girl. Because I'm totally using you for little girl wish fulfillment. :-)

Angela

Yay! So happy for you, and your happy news. :)

(Ignore the trolls. They should be crawling back under their creepy metaphorical bridges any minute now...).

~

PS - on an unrelated note, I'm off to Bluefield Bay Villas, Jamaica on Saturday for a week! Made possible only by your discount code!! Thanks!! :)

Christen

I actually think it's a good idea to tell someone at Noah's school that you're pregnant in case of a situation like this one where you need to haul ass to the ladies (yes, it's 2010 and I'm still quoting Clueless - what of it?) to pee or barf. Not really fun to do either while corralling two small kids. Hope the UTI is gone by now!

Christen

Oh, and best to your dad, too!!!

samantha Jo Campen

I would never call you self-absorbed or a brat. I'm sorry that some people think that. You are the most down-to-earth blogger I've ever met.

I'm happy you have a UTI.

HOORAY!

Prayers to your dad. Let's keep things on a roll here shall we?

Ellie

Funny...by their very nature, the blogs I LOVE (you know, the ones you HAVE to check daily just in case?) are all full of "self absorbed" insights into other people's fascinating, ordinary, wonderful, intriguing lives! I'm so pleased that things went ok for you, Baby, and your Dad and will continue to LOVE reading your insights, regardless of topic...oh and I'm a paediatric occupational therapist who uses your blog as a teaching tool for other paediatric OTs BECAUSE of your honesty and how you write about your experiences of my profession. Thank you!

Karen

Oh thank God. See, I just had a positive pregnancy test today and my first thought (well, after HOLY SHIT) was, Cool, I'm only a few weeks behind Amalah in pregnancy time! Neat!

CJ

I had bleeding during both pregnancies, including bright red with clots. Everything was fine each time. I wish this was talked about more often. It would save a lot of us so much grief and worry. I'm glad everything is ok!

Mary Lou

So glad everything is OK!

May God's blessings be on you and your dad!

Also, your blog is great (and one of my favs.)! Don't worry about the negative comments.

Heather Ann

Love you. Have loved your for years. Follow you on Twitter, but I am one of the nameless masses....Anyway. Firstly, I was so excited when you announced this pregnancy because everything has been so very hard lately and I thought a little bit of happiness was well-deserved. Secondly, I was so happy that you didn't have to worry about and work at getting pregnant this time. Again, another little bit of happiness. Thirdly, having had two miscarriages - one that tore me apart - and now with four live children, I didn't see a thing wrong with your post. Nor, do I in any way believe you needed to be schooled. That irritated me alot. Especially right now when you need the support so very much. Waiting until that mythically magical 12 week/3 month mark is a choice. And telling early is just a different choice. Different. Not wrong. Anyway. Big Huge Fabulous Wonderful congratulations on the bouncing baby urinary tract infection. Hugs.

Melissa

The title was sort of a clue for everyone NOT to freak out, wasn't it? ;)

Even as someone who lost two pregnancies in between having two beautiful healthy sons, I still don't see how writing about a miscarriage scare is "self-absorbed." Many women have been in the same type of situation. I think the sane majority of us respect you just for being brave enough to share this part of your journey with the world, and we're totally psyched that everything is ok.

(Keep on growing, little one! Grow, grow, grow!)

Swistle

I can't BELIEVE the comments you're getting. And do you have IP tracking, because I would bet CASH MONEY that they're not all different people. Well, or maybe someone got a forum to come attack you.

I will say these things: (1) You made it ABSOLUTELY CLEAR from the very beginning that it was a scare that turned out fine. (2) The post was in NO WAY self-centered OR insensitive. Do people choose negative adjectives TOTALLY AT RANDOM? The objections MADE NO SENSE.

agirlandaboy

So glad there are people able to share with you--forcefully!--the ins and out of pregnancy. I bet you could really have used that information during your first two times around the block and, oh, also on the PREGNANCY BLOG you've been writing for more than two years.

Sheesh.

Issa

Jesus Christ people. Get over yourselves. This? Is Amalah's blog. See her name up there? See her photo up there?

I've had two miscarriages. It was horrible. Both times. Yet, I still talked about it. I've also told people when I found out I was pregnant, the next time around. Because being pregnant? Is exciting. It's fun to share with others. She wasn't being insensitive. She was sharing her story, on her personal blog.

We write about our lives. As writers, sharing is part of our process. It's our personal choice to share what we want and not share what we don't want. If you don't like it, hit the effing red box at the top. Amy's been through too much this past year to need to read that crap.

MommyNamedApril

bleeding during pregnancy SUCKKKKS. i'm so glad it was just a UTI. xo

Heather

I wasn't going to comment at first, because I was just going to echo the other "yay for the UTI!" posts other people left. But then I read the ones calling you a self-absorbed brat, and you know, grrr.

All of the blogs I follow religiously are written by people who write really well, and honestly. You, of course, are outstandingly good at that. It makes your readers (or me, anyway) feel like I know you, like you're my friend that I've just never seen face to face. So when you have a scare like that, we want to know because we care about you. The people who don't like it? Maybe they should stick to Cute Overload so they never encounter anything more upsetting than a playful kitten.

Anyway, I'm glad your blob is still doing well, and so glad your dad's chemo treatment went well. May the good-luck streak continue.

Valerie

I feel like the title of the post made it pretty obvious that everything turned out fine in the end.

So glad everyone is fine and that you're dad is doing well!

AmyH

Even though I knew the story ends well, I still sat here holding my breath until the end of the post.
I appreciate that you share with us. I know the feeling! I shared that I was pregnant with my first at 7 weeks. I was so excited that i couldn't help it!! Congrats again, you self absorbed brat! :-)

JB

I'm glad you are ok!! And also (I think?) glad that you don't seem to get the searing pain that I get with UTI's!

About the "troll" commenter, my momma taught me that "hurting people hurt people." Just like the Advice Smackdown questions of someone having a hard time feeling happy for their friend's pregnancy if they had a miscarriage. It's likely that the commenters' Hurt is "where the comments are coming from," rather than them coming from any sort of place of truth. However, that does Not excuse them taking out their hurt on other people.

It's like a hurt animal lashing out a someone trying to help it. (But you can excuse the animal's actions, whereas people are still responsible for their actions).

OR, maybe they're just a straight up internet troll trying to stir up s--t. *Sigh* whatev.

Kathleen

Hm, I thought the title was clear enough the first time...

ANYWAY - thank god, and may the good luck continue to go your way. Thinking of all of you, fist bumps, etc!

Jessica

Wow, read the comments, and here I was, thinking that this was YOUR blog and that you could write whatever you wanted to write, without having to think about all the other horrible possibilities out there that your thousands of readers might have experienced.

I have to say, I got to the "insensitive" comments and never would have seen those coming. You might be "insensitive" according to certain readers, but I find them rather OVER-sensitive. Why are you reading the blog of a newly pregnant person when you just miscarried? Sounds like self-torture to me.

Marianne

I'm so glad you're okay. And I'm glad you posted about your dad. I was about to be "that stranger who emails..." I'm so glad I spared you that.

lis

Hey Amy,

One of the things I've always loved about you was how you've shared the ups and downs. This is no exception.

also I feel like apparently the only person who read the subject line and it took it to me mean what you meant it as, and thus was not worried in the slightest as I read your post.

Amy Uncensored

Congratulations on your pregnancy Amalah! If Kristen and Ms Miscarriage have been reading your blog for any amount of time they would know if the post did include heartbreaking news, you certainly wouldn't have written it the way you did. Thank you for sharing the scary, freak out parts as well as the fluffy happy stuff. It does a lot for your readers.

tasterspoon

Yeah, I think the post was pretty clear that it was a happy ending post from the get go.

Although - how messed up is it that we all agree that blarfing is a happy ending? I'll say it since no one else has yet - I hope the nausea and puking end at week 12 LIKE THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO, *AND* that you have a delightful, healthy little bean - boy or girl. (I kinda think an Amalah edition of My Three Sons would be rad.)

JennyM

GO, BLOB! GO, DAD!

That is all. Oh, plus: *virtual fistbumps all around*

Annie

First I was like "oh no" Then I was like "oh YAY" and then I was like "oh no they di-int!" but before I could do anything about it, I was all "oh yay!" again for all the supportive voices in the crowd. So! Sending you lots of virtual hugs and good luck energy. Thank you for yet another well-written, open and honest blog post.

Helen

Aren't people the craziest things? The whole point of a blog is that it is, by it's very being all about ME ME ME, how can you be accused of being self absorbed when writing a personal blog, if you weren't it wouldn't be a personal blog, would it? I left a comment yesterday that I was taking my DIL for her 1st scan today, seems they couldn't see anything but a sac, she is only 5 weeks though so we aren't worrying yet, she had bloods taken and will have more done on thurs. My son was insistant that they tell no-one until after 12 weeks but I told him that if the worst happens she will need people to know she is sad, how awful would it be to have to suffer that kind of sadness alone because you hadn't told anyone you were pg? HE listens to his mother and she has told everyone her happy news. This is your blog, you get to talk about YOU ... cool!

Amy in StL

It's amazing how one can just pull it together when you promise yourself that you can fall apart after a pre-determined set of events. I have totally done this; just suck it up and then afterwords gone to McDonalds and got a Big Mac and large fries and sucked them down while crying and driving home. (Yeah, I totally have a problem with comfort food eating.)

Also, Mourning Sweatpants should be an actual item we all have. In fact, I may start referring to the thermal set I bought at Old Navy as my mourning pants.

Amy in StL

Also, I'm an oversharer too. So to those who think that means you're selfish, I say boo! It's your blog and I read it in part because you remind me of myself (If I had kids and stuff) So you go! Share and be awkward - it's awesome to have company in that club.

Arlene

So glad you have a UTI. Well, maybe not. But, Google: UTI baking soda. Recommended by several Drs. and it works so fast that if you take it right away (at first symptoms) you won't get to the real discomfort of a UTI.

Anna

So glad it was just a UTI!! I know too well how effing terrifying that sight can be, I've seen it too. Bleeding in pregancy is a damn scary thing and you have every right to write about it. Many of us have had losses, been through rounds and rounds of fertility treatment and had pregnancy complications. That doesn't mean we can't be sympathetic and empathetic to another woman.

Michelle

I have had two miscarriages in the last 8 months and I did not think that this post was insensitive AT ALL. Yes, I wish my day(s) had had a different ending but I am certainly glad that yours ended with just a scare.
I also shared the news early and do not regret it even after it ended in miscarriage. I mean is it really any easier to mourn with out your friends and families support? I don't get it. Congrats to puking and a healthy pregnancy!

Judy

Amy, one of the things I love most about you is how you are like a very good friend who rushes to tell you EVERYTHING IN HER LIFE and sometimes she's like a little friendly puppy. You don't deserve people like Ms Mis up there.

I had three miscarriages between my second and third. I don't feel you are insensitive at all. Don't ever change, PLEASE!

Christina

The throw up line cause an outburst of laughter. I am feeling too good right now for my 6th week, and KNOW I'll wish it was this way later...but you know...puking is such a great sign and all.

Jen

*blinks*

*Re-reads bit about IT WAS OKAY*

*blinks some more*

*holds bridge of nose to stem rage at stupid comments re: insensitivity*

I am glad The Squishy is OK. I am sorry that you had to deal with the fear that the squishy was not OK. I am sorry that some a$$holes don't think that that pressing, horrifying fear is not allowed to be talked about in the event that IT WAS OKAY. Hopes you won't take a$$hattery to heart, because they are A$$ES.

Am bumping fists with much vigour for your awesome dad.

Jen

*don't think - IS allowed.

Sorry, double negative. Induced by teh rageness.

Rebecca

Amy,

You are one of the least self-absorbed people I "know". And I've been dealing with infertility for 3 years... you are not insensitive, you are not self-absorbed, you are beautifully vulnerable and honest about the good and the bad and the ugly in your life. And this is why I come here every day and cry on a regular basis when reading your posts.

Rebecca

Karin

Same thing happened to me (although it wasn't a UTI). And you know what? I had a baby! She was 8 weeks early, but she's healthy and beautiful and perfect and almost 6 years old. So, boo to stupid bloody clots that scare us half to death and yay to your beautiful healthy pregnancy. :)

lisa

So glad everything's OK on the baby front. Thinking about your dad tomorrow. :)

Libbi

UTIs suck. horribly. i get them constantly and am on preventative medication for them. so help me God, when i finally get pregnant. i think they're just giving me a safer version of my current medication when that happens. i don't want to spend an entire pregnancy dealing with UTIs. thank goodness there's still a baby in your belly -- here's hoping you get your little girl :)

Sarah

Dude. Your ability to tell a story is truly a gift. And I so appreciate your honesty - come good or bad or disaster.

kat

good grief amy. you are the STRONGEST person i know (through the interwebs) for all that has happened to you. seriously. sending positive healthy vibes for your entire family.

Katie

Heart in throat EVEN THOUGH I KNEW IT WAS OKAY, you just write that damn well, I felt like it was me making the damn pb&j while my heart was breaking. SO. Congratulations again! UTI's rock! (Except for the part where you're peeing BLOOD every 3.2 minutes and trying not to cry it hurts so bad.) (Why yes, I had that happen. I love those UTI numbing pills. And yes, I have nightmares about another night like that one.)

Also, boo to the grumpy people! I love your honesty, that you share the happy and the sad and the mad. You hooked me on the blogging world and are still my favorite to read. :)

TheGoriWife

Who the hell are these commenters policing when you can or cannot share pregnancy news, as if that is proof that you're self-absorbed or not. Or maybe they think you desrve a bloody scare for going against their six-weeks-is-too-early rules. What if you just tell your mom and your closest best friend? Just halfsies self absorbed? Or maybe OH WAIT WHO MADE YOU GOD TO JUDGE OTHER PEOPLE LIKE THAT?

Sorry to go all caps. I just hate judgemental creeps. I, for one, a loyal reader of 5 years (I know because I started when googling pregnancy symptoms and google led me here) I thought the post was classic Amalah. In a good way, not in the judgemental internet troll "oh, classic Amalah" way. I'm so rooting for you and your uterus.

Page

GIRL. I am so thankful that it turned out to be a UTI. Isn't it amazing what you can do (i.e. not crumpling into a ball on the floor, holding it together and getting the kids home) when you feel like your universe is being pulled inside out from socks to top? Here's to a healthy and stress-free pregnancy. Props and fist pumps and bumps to your Dad, too.

As to all the growling and such in the comments, glad you share it with us as YOU see fit. Otherwise it wouldn't be your blog.

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