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October 2010
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December 2010

He's Right, You Know

Me: So. Noah. Noah: LOOK OUT! DINOSAURS! Me: What? Oh. Listen. Noah: THE DINOSAURS ARE GOING TO EAT OUR THANKSGIVING, MOMMY. Me: Awesome. Listen. For real. Mommy and Daddy have something important to tell you. Noah: Okaywhat. Me: Well...Mommy is going to have another baby. Noah: ... Me: You're going to have another baby brother or sister! What do you think? Noah: But we already HAVE a baby. Me: Yeah, but... Noah: Another baby would be TOO MUCH BABIES. Me: I think we'll... Noah: And our house will be TOO FULL. WITH BABIES. Me: Maybe we'll get a bigger house... Read more →


Well, hello! Everybody back to the grind after the hallowed day of national gluttony? Nobody got run over or squished too badly on the crazy batshit day of national consumerism-ism? Anybody want some leftover pie? I've got...three, I think, still. But not this one. Our holiday was fantastic, thank you for maybe thinking of asking, just now, once I said that. The turkey was our most delicious ever, thanks to Jason's brine (he won't tell me what's in it, the bastard) and my basting (which I will tell you because I am giver AND a showoff; it's butter + thyme... Read more →

Holiday Bonus

Remember that fuzzy little blob-thing I posted about six weeks ago? Well. BAM! 12 weeks, two days. Absolutely perfect and adorable (that ARM! the little SHOULDER BLADE! the EAR that you can just barely make out before the image goes all blobby and wonky!). All expected and required parts present and accounted for. Including... Well. Okay, it's really, really difficult to determine the sex of the baby FOR DEFINITE SURE at 12 weeks, but I'm just going to break it to you and let you down easy because about four bazillion million of you have been screaming for a GIRL... Read more →

Turkey Run

DISCLOSURE TALKYSPEAK: Thanks to American Express for sponsoring posts today about small businesses. American Express is presenting Small Business Saturday, a way to honor the local merchants who are the backbone of the economy, this Saturday, November 27. They're offering statement credits to people who shop at small businesses, advertising for small-business owners, and donations to Girls Inc. for "Likes" of the Small Business Saturday page on Facebook. Join the celebration by clicking the "Like" button at the bottom of this entry and then visiting the Facebook page to learn more about the program and read the terms and conditions... Read more →


The chemo isn't working. I didn't expect it to. He felt "better" after a blood transfusion last week. His numbers were "better." I didn't expect that to last, and it didn't. At all. I talked to him on the phone on his 81st birthday last week. For just a few minutes. Then he said he had to go and hung up. This was also expected. He is translucent. He is blue and grey. Like a cancer-stricken extra on a medical drama, wearing too much pancake makeup. He is immobile and helpless, short-tempered and miserable. He is a bundle of medical... Read more →

Don't Stand So Close To Me

Weirdest pregnancy symptom yet: Claustrophobia. Well, not even that, exactly. Kind of combination of a fear of crowds (demophobia!) combined with a violent knee-jerky reaction to invasions of my personal space. Like, if you accidentally bump into me in the grocery store aisle, don't be surprised if I start involuntarily shrieking and karate-chopping the shelves of soup cans. Jason noticed I seemed increasingly jumpy right from the start. I'm usually a big-time hugger, and very demonstrative and in-your-face with my compulsive need! For affection! Because I like you! Hi! Gimme a cuddle! Instead, ever since getting all knocked up, I... Read more →


Since so many of you asked, no, we were not able to figure out the mystery of Bearius Care in time for Noah's birthday. So instead we attempted to distract him with a lot of Star Wars crap and brightly-colored wrapping paper. It worked. Didn't stop us from trying to make it up to him a few weeks later, once we discovered what he was actually talking about. So it wasn't a young Captain Kirk action figure with a vintage convertible and super-extreme cliff-clutching action, but he did happily identify it as the "grown-up Bearius Care ship." So I think... Read more →

The Mystery of Bearius Care

Suddenly, all Noah wanted to talk about was "Bearius Care." I don't remember exactly when it started, but it was all "Bearius Care" this and "Bearius Care" that. "Who is Bearius Care?" I'd ask, over and over again. "Bearius Care is Bearius Care," Noah would answer, like duh. Occasionally, we'd get a clue: Noah would spot a little mop-haired boy on the playground and run after him, screeching gleefully. "It's Bearius Care! Hi Bearius Care!" Child actors in TV commercials sometimes got a reaction too. He mostly seemed to invoke the name while playing with certain toy cars, but also... Read more →

Less is Perfect

Noah plays soccer now. Long-time readers may remember that a couple years ago, Noah was "not ready" for his preschool's extracurricular soccer program. He was "disruptive" and "challenging." The other children were genuinely trying to learn "the basics of the game" but Noah was a "distraction." We were asked to "no longer send him." Our money would "credited" toward our next tuition payment, of course. Basically, he was kicked out. He was three. Every year since then, in the early fall and spring, Jason has optimistically mentioned soccer. Maybe we should try again? Maybe he's ready now? But then we'd... Read more →

It's National Blog Posting Month. Which Means I Barely Posted At All.

I know. I know I know I KNOW. If you are looking for someone to blame for the sporadic posting, blame the fetus. Which I know you won't actually do, because what are you gonna say? BAD FETUS! STUPID UNBORN CHILD! YOU'RE MESSING WITH SOMETHING VAGUELY ENTERTAINING THAT I OCCASIONALLY CHECK OVER LUNCH BREAK IF I REMEMBER SO KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF! Yeah, go ahead. It can't hear you anyway. It doesn't even have any ears yet. Nyah. No, but seriously. This week was quick and mighty payback for a whole heapload of bragging I did last weekend. I... Read more →