Crime & Punishment
9 1/2 Weeks

Nerds on Parade

Halloween, take three:

Noah's struggles with Halloween and dressing up ebbed and flowed this year, with one costumed activity being a roaring success and the next causing a meltdown of epic proportions. It was like spinning the wheel in Sensory Roulette. So I had no idea how his classroom costume parade party would go on Friday. 

When I arrived with Ezra in tow (and in costume), Noah had steadfastly refused to put his costume on while his friends got dressed. But then another mother showed up with a tray of chocolate cupcakes.

"See those?" I fibbed. "Those are for kids who wear their costumes."

BAM. Obi-Wan Kenobi IN THE HOUSE. And on parade.

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With his faithful sidekick Yoda, seen here shortly before losing a shoe in the parking lot at some point.

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Other than some mid-parade WHERE ARE THE CUPCAKES ALREADY fatigue, he did great. 

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Ezra did too, though he did tend to gravitate to some very non-canon props. 

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And then: FEASTING.

Halloween, take four: 

Trick-or-treating. The main event. Noah not only agreed to wear his costume with absolutely zero protest, he even allowed me to put on the cheap-ass synthetic-fabric tunic and rubber belt portion of his Jedi outfit (over his regular clothes, obviously, because ITCHY). 

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Get ready for his hit single I Will Do Anything For Candy (But I Draw The Line At The Polyester Pants).

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Jason dressed as a prawn-armed Wikus Van De Merwe from District 9. He had a great official-looking MNU Alien Affairs badge too. It was awesome.

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At first Ezra thought trick-or-treating consisted of grabbing candy from our bowl, piece by piece, and dropping it into his bucket...

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...so there was some momentary distress when he realized there was actually quite a bit more to it than that. And also some tears when he learned he was not allowed to go INSIDE the houses after ringing the bell. Like OH MY GOD, these people keep BOWLS OF CHOCOLATE right next to the FRONT DOOR. Can you EVEN IMAGINE what they might have HIDDEN IN THE KITCHEN? WHAT THE HELL, YOU GUYS.

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Checking out the loot between houses.

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(LIghtsabers are actually safety LED glowsticks from Life+Gear, who sent me a truckload of them back when Noah's Star Wars fanaticism first dawned. Awesome for visibility at night AND because they were technically too short to cause damage to TV screens, precious Ming vases or each other's skulls. Shout-out! Woot!)

(And yes, fellow nerdlings, I know Obi-Wan Kenobi should have the blue one and Yoda should have green, and I swear that was the way they were dispensed back at the house but you KNOW whatever your younger brother has in his hand is immediately 500 times more awesome than what you have in YOUR hand, so there you go.) 

(This from the kid who, when I referred to him as simply "Obi-Wan" to another mother at school, testily corrected me because "I'm Obi-Wan KENOBI, Mooooommmmm.")

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I was Jessica from True Blood. I'm crying blood because Jessica is always freaking crying

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I ordered the Merlotte's shirt and apron before I found out I was pregnant, and I briefly thought I'd have to switch to Arlene, the OTHER True Blood redhead (who is currently pregnant with what may or may not be the demon fetus reincarnation of a serial killer), but it turns out I don't have the belly for it yet. So I got to traumatize small neighborhood children with bloody eyes and fangs instead.

Also, yes, I was really, really freaking cold. But I was even more committed.

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We stayed out until the buckets got too heavy to carry and little legs got too tired to walk. Also we had to get everybody to bed so we could stay up late and watch that zombie show on AMC with the lights turned off and the sound turned up because I totally enjoy NOT EVER SLEEPING AGAIN.

And that was our Halloween. How was yours? 

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LET'S GO MURDER A TRUCKER. AND THEN CRY ABOUT IT.

Comments

Jen @ Making Messes

Love your costumes! Especially Jessica...

I tried to dress my little fatty baby up as Yoda and he refused to wear the costume.

HALLOWEEN FAIL.

lis

We had almost 200 kids at my door last night. this is what I get for living adjacent to an elementary school :) They were all adorable, and frightfully polite.

Amy representing LifeGear

We're so glad you liked the GlowSticks, Amy! Glad you and your adorable children were able to have fun and stay safe this Halloween!

melody

Sigh, how do your legs look like that. Oh yeah, the kiddos are cute too!

Courtney

Your legs look awesome!

Suzanne

Those costumes are awesome! At least Ezra didn't see his brother's costume at say "I Ben Kenobi!," like most two year olds in awe of their big brother. :)

Nice way to mold compliance to wearing that costume!

Julie

Great Jessica costume! That is spot on! (And I love the picture of Ezra eating the cupcake at Noah's school. THAT is a boy after my own heart.)

OurLittleAshley

Dude! You're hot! Where can I get a set of legs like that for mah self?

sarah

Oh that's it. I'm going running this afternoon, post-pregnancy *ahem* effects & sleep deprivation be damned. You look too good to be pregnan... oh... I see how that works, now.

Stephanie

Cutest Yoda ever! The end.

Gwen

LOVE the costumes! Unfortunately, where I live it was so cold that we had to bundle the children up in many layers BEFORE putting on their costumes. Every kids looked like a sumo wrestler in a costume!

Jen L.

I LOVE that you were Jessica! The kids are cute, too.:)

NinaN

You are all way too awesome. Cutest yoda ever. And the Jessica costume is way cool. So cool in fact, that I am not even tempted to mock you for ordering the shirt and apron ;)

Kathi

I think you are now required by some law to follow this up with a post about how you stay in shape.

Maxine Dangerous

That Yoda costume is KILLING ME. :D

Claire

dang! Well aren't you a purty puhrgnint vampuuur!

Prima Mama

My son actually DID run into someones house this year - the Dad of our group whose turn it was to walk up to the door with the kids chased my son into the house as he ran up to the oldest woman there and said, "Hi Grandma!" Good times. Me? So proud.

Karen

We had a pre-trick-or-treating pep rally at which I informed my son and his buddy that they would 1. Not go inside any houses and 2. Not run (while wearing masks with tiny eye holes.

I forgot #3....ring the bell only ONE TIME. OMG. "so sorry Mrs. Andrathy...." nervous laugh

And yes, for the love of God...I am only 5 months pregnant and look like a freaking beach ball. I am hating your beautiful physique. That is all.

liz

Those costumes are awesome, particularly YOURS!!!

My husband has the picture of MM as Aang up at his blog www.withoutsupervision.com

tasterspoon

My goodness but you are lean and lanky!

Aimee Giese | Greeblemonkey

They are ADORABLE!

Check out my Dementor:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/greeblemonkey/5134252777/

Kris

Oh Amy...I just love you. I'm a die hard Trubie...your costume! I'm vehklempt! lol

And of course your Obi Wan Kenobi & Yoda are to die for!!

Wendy

Um, you're crazy. I live in Northern VA. It was freaking COLD! last night. I was out in jeans and 2 layers on top + a puffy vest + fur-lined boots and was STILL cold. Maybe the pregnancy hormones was making it tolerable?

Shelly

OMG! Baby YODA!! haha I think this may just make my boyfriend think quickly about those babies I've been talkin about...HA!

Christine

Looks like you had a great Halloween. We did as well, but I think you'll appreciate this story.

My 7 y.o. daughter was diagnosed with high functioning autism. She had no trouble dressing up as a ladybug, and no trouble going door to door saying trick or treat.

However we ran into a problem when people tried to give her something she didn't like. (She's picky with her candy and only likes M&Ms, plain Hersey bars & Starbursts). She'd very politely tell me "No, I don't want that" and walk away empty handed. Meanwhile I'm there shrugging and explaining that she's a picky eater all the while thinking "Wait! Don't turn down the full-sized KitKat bar!"

Sarah

(a) You make me wish I'd had a Halloween party to attend (it's not such a big deal in the UK)
(b) Is there any kind of timeshare deal to be had on Yoda Ezra? He's far too cute.

nrbp

Our Yoda (7 yo who considers his short stature a wonderful thing) charmed the pants off of everyone by trading in the tired "trick or treat" for a "treats you must give me, mmmmm, yes" as well as a "thanked you are" to all who complimented his choice of costume. Best Halloween ever.

*m*

Our first trick-or-treater was a very solemn baby Princess Leia. Maybe you'll be toting one along next year?

Sunny

OMG, someone else who loved District 9!! Most awesome not-talked-about movie ever.

Awesome touch with the bleeding eyes.

We had the usual, adorable, home-made, expensive store-bought, freshmen that decided at the last minute they still thought free candy was awesome, and one evil clown that asked me if I was ready to die as the held up his bloody axe. Yeah, I hope that one chokes on his mini BabyRuth.

Madeline

OMG YODA!

tracey

God DAMNIT Amy!! I am only on season 1 of True Blood!!! You are killing me, here!!

Love Yoda. Too sweet.

Your Halloween sounds way less traumatic than mine in which I convinced my 8 year old to enter a backyard haunted house that scared the crap out of ME, so you can imagine how well he fared in that experience...

Trafty

I read your blog at CafeMom about the mother making a rude comment to your babysitter, so I thought I’d share how you’ve actually helped me avoid making those same assumptions. (Didn’t want to register on CafeMom or post via my Fbook).

A few weeks ago I took my 2 yr old to the Childrens Museum. They had a Halloween themed exhibit and there was a boy there that was FREAKING OUT. Not sure about what, but he was not happy and didn’t want to do anything his father was trying to convince him would be fun to try. Father also had a young girl with them and I knew that simply leaving wasn’t an option due to the extreme fun the little girl was having.

Because of your blog, I didn’t assume that the boy was a pain in the neck or just being naughty. I didn’t assume that the father couldn’t control his own children. I didn’t pass judgment on him for trying to stick it out to let his little girl have a little fun… instead I literally thought “I wonder if it’s a situation of sensory overload”. Now, I don’t even know if that’s appropriate. The point is that I didn’t judge and I attribute that to your blog. So thank you : )

Suzanne

So what this post tells me is that
a) you are obviously lying about being pregnant because no one should look that hot when knocked up
b) I suspect your other two children are adopted because SERIOUSLY no one should look that hot after having 2 kids
c) I'm dressing up my kid as Yoda every year from now on. CUTEST COSTUME EVER.

Lisa

Cutest obi wan and yoda ever!

And OMG! That AMC Zombie show freaked me out! Once I got over the 28 days later deja vu, totally creeped out, and locked the house :)

Kate

Wow, you look great!

Mermil

My child referred to trick or treaters as "customers" and said "Have a good day" after he got candy because he's a three year old used car salesman. Dressed up as Wolverine. Your family's costumes are awesome, by the way. My husband spent weeks preparing his Riddler costume ("you know, like Frank Gorshin in the show," he says, as if I am intimately aware with Frank Gorshin and his oeuvre) and then got pissed when all of his students asked him if he was the Joker.

Dorothea

Love that you dressed up as Jessica! What did you think of "Walking Dead?" Have you posted a review anywhere??

Amy Jo

1. That jessica idea? AWESOME!

2. We did Star Wars at our house, too. We had Luke, Leia and Yoda. My husband tried to get a Darth Vader costume, but his head is three times larger than any commercially produced Vader helmet in existence. Boo. He then started insisting that I go dressed as Queen Amidala, since I am pregnant. HOWEVER. I pointed out that Amidala died in childbirth. If I were to walk around, totally knocked up, while holding hands with Luke and Leia, it would 100% wrong.

3. I'm a total nerd, right?

Amy Jo

1. That jessica idea? AWESOME!

2. We did Star Wars at our house, too. We had Luke, Leia and Yoda. My husband tried to get a Darth Vader costume, but his head is three times larger than any commercially produced Vader helmet in existence. Boo. He then started insisting that I go dressed as Queen Amidala, since I am pregnant. HOWEVER. I pointed out that Amidala died in childbirth. If I were to walk around, totally knocked up, while holding hands with Luke and Leia, it would 100% wrong.

3. I'm a total nerd, right?

Amy

Oh my god, Yoda! So freaking cute!!!

G.G.R

Your legs, dude! Hot damn!

Belle

I might have to eat your children, especially Yoda, if they trick or treated at my door. I'm sorry, but too. friggin. cute.

Lisa

Love your Jessica!

When we were little my brother had a food fixation and when we would go trick or treating he would wander off while my mother was yapping with the homeowners and start looking in their fridge. He particularly liked pickles and was known to break into more than one strangers jar of pickles.

He's a chef now. Go figure.

Txtingmrdarcy

Can we please come trick-or-treating with you next year? Because I feel that only true pop culture fiends would have appreciated our amazing Levi & Bristol costumes this year.

(Wikus?! From District 9?! *squee!*)

Christina

My fave line from The Office lately is Stanley saying to Andy (who is dressed as Bill from True Blood) "How many freaking vampires am I supposed to care about these days?"

April F

Love the Wikus costume!! I was too scared to watch the zombies show, zombies=scary!!!

Megan

My son is almost exactly the same age as Ezra (and incidentally has SPD like Noah, along with a host of other things, hence a friend turned me on to your blog), and he also was very upset that we couldn't actually go in the nice people with the candy's houses!

Megan

My son is almost exactly the same age as Ezra (and incidentally has SPD like Noah, along with a host of other things, hence a friend turned me on to your blog), and he also was very upset that we couldn't actually go in the nice people with the candy's houses!

Kimm

What a fun Halloween! I guess we are curmudgeons. We have 4 small escape artist dogs, so we don't open the door and give out candy. Our trick or treater was our little outside cat, dogs alerted us to go to the door and there she was meowing. She got some food:) We watched the World Series, are very sad Rangers fans.

Kristen

Best. Costumes. Ever. Period. Hands. Down. OMG.

Lady

they are both so cute! love your costume. love True Blood and laughed when I saw the apron and blood tears bc I knew EXACTLY who it was. ;)

Andrea from Big Blue Momma

My kids went as Obi-Wan and Yoda last year. Yup, I dressed my baby girl as Yoda.

Your Obi-wan and Yoda are super cute!

Michele Rowe

I watched The Walking Dead with my husband last night after the kids went to bed, too. Then after he went to bed, I had to stay up and watch something else that would get those images out of my mind. And I STILL had a nightmare during the night about hiding from/running from zombies in an office building somewhere.

But I can't wait to see it next week!

Kristin

OMG, Obi Wan and Yoda...the cutest costumes evah.

Lydia

My brother's twins (a boy and a girl) went as Luke and Leia this year. So much awesomeness. They would have looked great with your Yoda and Obi-wan. Next year they are going to dress the cat up as Chewbacca. Even better. Good thing the twins are only 1 year old so we have a few years before they have "opinons" and things.

Brandi

Cute kiddies + Star Wars Costumes = me wanting to yank out the Mirena! I love it! Glad you had a great Halloween!

Jenna

The title of this post immediately put the Rage Against The Machine song in my head. Gives quite a different overtone to pics of cute-as-hell kids in Star Wars costumes than I may have had otherwise. Heh :)

Sarah

Amy, I like you.

Barefoot Liz

The kids look so cute in their costumes! I laughed at your costume. Too funny!

Gram of 4

Have you seen the new Pottery Barn kids catalog? Star Wars SHEETS, and BOOKS, and DISHES, and BACKPACKS, and LAMPS! And MORE!!!

You may now return to your regularly scheduled comments.

You all were adorable for Halloween.

Donna

Nice legs!

Page

You made an amazing Jessica! WHILST PREGNANT AND WITH THE GAMS--> totally jealous, right over here.

The boys (all of them) looked rad too. But OMG you looked amazing!

Jennie @ Modern Mamaz

I'm 32 weeks pregnant... good Lord I'm so glad I'm not where you are! How is it possible to forget how much I hate being pregnant 3 TIMES!!

Christy

I don't want to seem like a stalker, however my kids are approximately the same ages as yours. The older one is 6 and was Luke Skywalker. The younger one just turned 2 and had the same Yoda costume. Although, in my house, the younger one had the issues with the costume.

linka72

Your Jessica costume makes me want to hump your leg..ok, that's weird..I'm sorry and stuff..

Elizabeth @ Table for Five

Ezra's Yoda hat made me squee a little, he is so cute! Yay for Noah doing such a great job with his costume, and YOU, lady, do not look at all pregnant, dammit. Also, EXCELLENT costume!

statia

How was the candy high made from artificial everything fallout the next day? Dude, Mine is STILL all sorts of fucked up from it, and he hasn't had a piece of candy since Halloween. I'm going to buy all natural candy next year and switch it when he's not looking.

Molly

JESSICA! yes!! Why wasn't Jason Hoight(hoyght? how do we spell that name anyway?)? I love that man.

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