Less is Perfect
Enterprising

The Mystery of Bearius Care

Suddenly, all Noah wanted to talk about was "Bearius Care." I don't remember exactly when it started, but it was all "Bearius Care" this and "Bearius Care" that. 

"Who is Bearius Care?" I'd ask, over and over again. 

"Bearius Care is Bearius Care," Noah would answer, like duh

Occasionally, we'd get a clue: Noah would spot a little mop-haired boy on the playground and run after him, screeching gleefully. "It's Bearius Care! Hi Bearius Care!" Child actors in TV commercials sometimes got a reaction too. He mostly seemed to invoke the name while playing with certain toy cars, but also sometimes space ships. And once while reading a book with a picture of a desert.

But he simply would not, could not, just flat-out explain who Bearius Care was or give us any background or context. 

(Other than the fact that Bearius Care was, of course, completely face-meltingly AWESOMMMME.)

It drove me so batty after awhile -- WHO IS BEARIUS CARE? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? LET ME INTO YOUR LIFE, CHILD! -- that I eventually turned to Google.

I knew I was at least dealing with a mispronunciation, but I am pretttttty good at Google, if I do say so myself. Once, after Noah spent an entire month asking to watch the "Rolly Race Car show," I managed to figure out that he was actually talking about Roary the Racing Car, NOT TO MENTION that I've successfully written an advice column for four-and-a-half years now with absolutely no other qualifications or skills beyond being pretty good at Google.

This time, though, I came up empty. Care Bears? Bears That Dare? Various Bears? Marius Stares? Nefarious Lairs? 

Nothing. 

"What do you want for your birthday, Noah?"
 
"BEARIUS CARE!" 

Crap, man. 

In desperation -- like seriously, this was bugging me like a bar argument where you have the name of that movie that that guy was in right on the tip of your tongue but are totally spacing on it right now arrrrrgh let me think -- I emailed his preschool teacher, in case maybe it was a book or a video or something he'd seen there.

"You know, I've been meaning to ask you the same thing," she replied. 

So I gave up. I figured either Noah had simply made something up completely, or was obsessed with a hopeless composite of so may things that we'd never know exactly who or what Bearius Care is or was.

Until a few days later. When we decided to watch a DVD. We let Noah pick.

 

Bearius Care = James Tiberius Kirk. 

Just FYI. Nerds. The end. 

Comments

Mary Beth (Cats, Books, Life is Good)

Well, duh! Thank god he picked that movie or you'd never know who Bearius Care was:)

agirlandaboy

That pretty much takes the cake.

J

I'm having the exact same problem with my 2 1/2 year old and "Doctor Greenbean". Seriously, WHO IS DOCTOR GREENBEAN?? I must know!

Lindsey

Oh, ha! And here I was, assuming he meant "Care Bear." Obviously, I have a daughter.

anna

Yay nerds!

Life of a Doctor's Wife

It's a good life lesson for all of us: Everything comes back to Star Trek (if not Star Trek, Star Wars).

Thank goodness you solved the mystery. Would have driven me bonkers.

pandechion

I'm with the kid-- that is pretty awesome.

Lisa

My son used to be OBSESSED with The Three Caballeros, and he would constantly talk about "my sheedy paw," which, WTF? We never could figure out which Spanish and/or Portuguese word he was mispronouncing.

Sheedy Paw. WHATEVER.

Colleen

That... is awesome.

Mouse

Then he is right. Bearius Care is teh Awesome!

Amy

Freaking fantastic. I feel like going home & watching a little Bearius Care myself!

Patty

LMAO! I just spit some coke all over myself. That's really funny.

Belle

Bearius Care sounds like an awfully cute and snuggly, caring bear. That's probably what I would have given Noah for his birthday. I would have failed miserably.

Liz

For about 2 years now, Lilia has been singing a song that goes roughly,

Big black belly
Comin' down the road

Those are the only lyrics. Nobody at preschool can tell me what this is. The googles do nothing. Anybody?

SBMaya

I am a little in love with your son now...that is SO the kind of thing I hope to deal with in the future, you don't even KNOW! Oy! Kick in the ovaries!

mswas

So what are you getting him for his birthday, then. You already have the movie...?

beyond

that's what i thought right away!

Cincy

So...how did you get him Bearius Care for his birthday?

the grumbles

i just died, dead at my desk from extreme giggles. dead.

Spring

You should totally blast Beastie Boys in your house in celebration.

Tracy

Awesome. Must watch Bearius Care now.....

Anne

That is spectacular. I love Noah.

FreeRange Pamela

Awesome detective work, and awesome video clip! When I was growing up I had two favorite names: "Jim" and "James". I didn't realize then that they were the same name. Guess where I got my favorites from?

Karen

That? Is more proof that your son is simply awesome.

Stephanie

I'm still not sure I would have gotten it, but yeah. That's awesome.

I, too, am wondering what you ended up getting him for his birthday when you hadn't yet figured out what Bearius Care was? Or were you able to figure it out in time???

KelleyD

@J
Does your 2 1/2yo watch Curious George on PBS/WETA? There is a Professor or Doctor Greenbean on the episode where they visit the orchard. Maybe?

Karen

Oh, and here's a mispronounciation story for you. When my oldest was a toddler, he was obsessed with his red wagon. He called it a "Gaga"--I guess that was the only way he could pronounce "wagon". He really loved the wheels on the wagon, and eventually, every round object, including balls, steering wheels, and doughnuts, were "gagas".

My husband decided one day that by God, his son was going to say the word "ball" and not "gaga". He sat with our son, holding a ball, saying, "Ball" over and over. Every time, our son would say, "Gaga!"

"Say 'ball'."
"Gaga!"
"No, baaaalllll."
"GAGA!" (with a big smile)

Finally after twenty minutes, my husband said, "I give up," and tossed the ball on the ground and left the room.

My son picked up the ball, looked at me and with a sweet smile on his face, said, "Ball."

Lisa

Now I want to see a video of Noah talking about Bearius Care. I'm sure it's super cute.

Jaelithe

AWESOME.

Your kid is so adorable it hurts.

I believe this requires a pre-Christmas trip to the Build a Bear Store (or some less commercial, more Etsyish equivalent) for the construction of a James TiBearius Kirk.

Come on. You know you want to.

Jen

My friend's daughter was demanding the "poprocks see" song for weeks until they finally came across Lady Gaga's Paparazzi on the radio and all became clear...so glad your mystery has been solved!

Rachel

My mom is the director of a children's center and several years ago one of the 2 year olds kept demanding that his teacher play "roady oady doody" on the cd player. The teacher was obviously like "wtf" right? The begging for this song to be played continued for days! So eventually they played the right song and it was "Just Like Romeo and Juliet" by The Reflections. "Just like roady oady doody!"

michele

I was having dinner with friends and their 2-yr old. At dinner the 2yr old kept sweetly saying "P-Bah?" His father was certain that he was asking for Peanut Butter and was adamantly refusing the request, there was no peanut butter for dinner. This went on & on neither father nor son were giving in. Finally the child stretched his little arms over his high chair tray and took a piece of bread off his dad's plate, smiling the sweet smile of victory! P-Bah = Piece of Bread - it was priceless!

Holly

Ha! My old boss's son was obsessed with "Gorgeous Guy" a superhero of his creation. And he wanted Gorgeous Guy's sword and whatnot for Christmas. My boss would show him various weapons, trying to determine which one was Gorgeous Guy's. No dice. Then, out of nowhere, at a craft show, he runs to a booth and exclaims "OH MY THEY HAVE GORGEOUS GUY'S SWORD!" and done. Bought. PHEW.

liz

Obviously, that will be the name if you are having another boy. Right?

Laurel

That is awesome. My son went around talking about "Captain Log" for days before we figured out that he was talking about Captain Picard, on Star Trek: The Next Generation. He was calling him Captain Log because many of the episodes started with Picard saying, "Captain's Log, star date blah blah blah."

Hooray for raising nerds!

Starrynite

One of my MIL's favourite stories about my fiancée is when she asked for "balance mangy" for her birthday party meal. They spent weeks trying to ask her questions that would help them figure out what the hell balance mangy was. She just kept telling them, "you know! You KNOW!"
it wasn't til she read them a joke from a joke book she had and the punchline was "pink and wobbly balance mangy" that they realised the word she was trying to read was actually "blancmange"!

KAM

Oh gosh! I love that story. We have that problem at our house all of the time because our son is 20 mos and has a VAST vocabulary that only he can understand. Poor little guy is so earnest and I feel awful when he is trying so hard to communicate. Every time I figure out a word, it's like another victory!

Accidents

Starting around 14 months (early nerdity!) my nerd would say:

Merka (Captain America)
IamMan (Iron Man)
MyTor (Mighty Thor, why he included the "mighty" is a mystery)

He is 20 months now, and pronounces them all very properly and gravely. If I say "Thor" he corrects me with "Mighty Thor, Mama." HE HAS STILL NEVER SEEN A MOVIE. We have this one "super hero squad" book and he is completely obsessed.

Amy

I would like Bearius Care for MY birthday, please. That model, not the older one.

Thank you.

Amy

Eeeek, I forgot he was a kid in that scene. That makes me seem really creepy.

Uh, uh, uh. *Sigh*

Christine

Brilliant! I love it.

MommyNamedApril

nice. he has awesome taste in movies. awesome.

JB

So cute and also these comments are hilarious. :)
LOL at "Captain's Log."

Kristin

I FREAKING love that Bearius Care = James Tiberius Kirk. Absolutely AWESOME!

ChelsieR

I, too, assumed he was talking about Care Bears. Captain Kirk totally kicks some Care Bear butt. Love it!!!

Mel

When I was a kid I stumped my parents with Kokazit. I only said it at bathtime. I would take a cup of bathwater, dump it out, saying over and over "Kokazit, kokazit!" and even taking it farther: "the water is all kokazitty!"

My parents were so frustrated trying to figure out what I was on about. The revelation came while we were watching tv. An ad for Coca Cola came on and I started pointing and saying it over and over. The slogan at the end? "Coke is it!"

Loren

I so hope I have a Star Wars and Bearius Care loving little nerd some day. That's so awesome!

sarah

The only thing I can think of for thr "big black belly" song is "little red caboose"- smokestack on his back coming down the track" + "see the little pufferbellies all in a row" = big black belly coming down the road???

Suzanne

OMG that is the BEST answer ever to the mystery of Bearius Care. But I'm sorry, the Captain Log story in the comments is the most adorable dork story EVER.

WOOT RAISING NERDS RULES!

Melissa

Love it.

When my oldest was 3 or 4 she wanted 'EESOSebbally' for Christmas. It took nearly two weeks for us to finally figured out that she wanted 'each sold separately'. Turned out to be some My Little Pony thing.

And now the three year old wants 'soshi' for Christmas. Just today I figured out that she saying 'So Chic' and she wants the So Chic Salon Stylin Beauty Hair Salon. So yay for finally translating..but she better pick something else for Christmas.

tracey

I SO understand. My daughter still talks about the year she didn't get her "heart test" that she begged for. What is a heart test, you ask? I HAVE NO CLUE. 3 years later and I still can't figure it out.

megan judy

He's right. That was really, really awesome.

AmandaJo

Dude.

My 1 year-old jabbers a lot. He has lots of words (Ke-ey, for kitty... Dow for down, etc) so when he started trundling around jabbering, "Weedobud" over and over, we knew it had to be something. Couldn't figure what the hell it was, and eventually asked the sitter. She didn't know then, but called two days later to tell me she'd just seen her husband call my son, "Wiggle Butt."

Well there you are. Apparently its his nickname for our son, so he was walking around talking to himself.

Claudia

love the Hebrew subtitles!

Annie

HA that is awesome! I read this earlier and told my husband that your wonderful skills at storytelling are exactly why I follow your blog. You're so good at it! Noah is adorable. Thank you for sharing this. PS Hubs went straight to netflix and brought it up on the instant streaming... so... um thanks for that too, I think? :)

Erin

That. is. awesome. When I was little I used to call tater tots "teeter totters" and for months my Mom had no idea what I was talking about (especially as I had a giant fear of the actual teeter totter on the playground). This blows that out of the water!

Sam

............I don't think I've ever been more proud of a child in my life. Bearius Care FTW!

April G.

That? Is awesome. Noah is the coolest!

J

@ KelleyD
He does watch Curious George!!! Oh thank God - a clue! Thanks!

Carrie

OMG HAHAHA I am laughing so hard I am CRYING OVER HERE. My husband just told me to stop laughing so loud because he's trying to sleep.

Ohhh man, thanks for that laugh. That was AWESOME.

prairiepink

I used to play with lice balls and snowfat (tennis balls and smurfette)when I was about three. There are many stories from my aunts about both. When I was hospitalized at 5 years old for asthma, my uncle got me a smurfette stuffed toy. I still had it when I went away to college.

Do let us know how you end up getting Noah Bearius Care. We're all curious!

Prima Mama

The geek in me loves the geek in you. And your son.

Just yesterday a friend of mine picked my two-year-old up from school and called me because my son was repeatedly requesting what she could only interpret as "jacket pocket." So, she handed off the phone so that I could translate.

He was asking for a chocolate pop tart.

Jacket pocket was totally close.

He also calls the Mumford & Sons song "Little Iron Man" instead of "Little Lion Man," and I'm sure he'd be heartbroken to know that Robert Downy Jr. is not the in music video. I know I am.

Mommyattorney

This is awesome. Now can you tell me what "ong eyes" is? My 2 year old will thank you.

Korinthia Klein

Awesome.

joc

nerdy me wants to know what movie that is ???

Maria

K, I was TOTALLY going to say, "come ON, how good ARE you at Google? It's obvious that Bearius Care is Curious George". HAAAAAA!
Little Noah is AWESOME.

geek grrl

THAT is LEVEL 10 AWESOME! I want a Bearius Care too!

Heather Ben

They could have a whole show about trying to figure out what the kids are saying. My 20 month old kept saying what we thought was "fish face". Turns out it was really "this way" as evidenced when finally out with the wagon she pointed in the opposite direction when we turned to go home.

Also funny, my daughter loves her stuffed animal horses. She knows the word horse but insists on calling them "neigh".

Dede Miller - founder Divacafe.net

Children always come up with the best memories.

Shosh

Isn't is so great when you figure out what they're saying!

Hyzymom

He should be my kid!

Kirsty

That's great (though I'm sure I wouldn't have clicked even with the DVD... No nerds in this house, it's all girls and sparkly dance costumes here)! I'm just wondering why the video plays with Hebrew substitles? Are you trying to teach Noah Hebrew in a kind of subliminal way? I'm fascinated...

Jenn

Bearius Care - I'm dying over here. At least you know Noah's right about the face melting awesomeness!

@ Liz (who probably won't read this far down into the comments) who said:
"For about 2 years now, Lilia has been singing a song that goes roughly,

Big black belly
Comin' down the road

Those are the only lyrics. Nobody at preschool can tell me what this is. The googles do nothing. Anybody?"

I read this and this is what my mind immediately went to: Ram Jam - "Black Betty"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMLnDuzgkjo

Marcy

Denny Crane!

Plano Mom

I so love your kid. If you're ever in Plano, I've got your back. He is my kind of kid.

Mermil

I love this story because I really like trying to decode what my kid is saying; don't you feel like you solved a giant mystery?

Laura

If I can tell tales on my younger brother? He used to interrupt football (soccer) games to raise both hands in the air and yell "Hamble!" It took us a long time to figure out he was accusing his opponents of "hand ball".
He also believed the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air to originate in "Westville, Anomio".

jeanine

My son had three imaginary friends - Jake, Jake, and Catalong (?). That was 8 years ago and we still have not figured out who or what Catalong is.

Dawn

That was so frickin' funny, I actually snorted. Then tried to pronounce it as such.

So...he wanted a motorcyle for his birthday? Good taste kid, good taste.

Hamlet's Mistress

Oh my God, I love your son!!

I also love the new James Tiberius Kirk. Holy yum. What's that guys name? Chris Pike? Yeah I like him a lot.

Jacqueline

Hooray for deciphering the interesting words children use! My MIL babysat my kids for a couple hours yesterday and left a Sky Mall from a recent trip on my couch. I just flipped it over and there is a Star Wars toaster on the cover. It makes Darth Vader toast!

Hamlet's Mistress

Hmmm... How bout Chris PINE. I'm pretty sure Christopher PIKE is dead. I think. Geez, almighty. It's been bothering me since I posted it.

Tina C.

OMG. nature or nuture, yall.

vegmers

Have you seen this: When Should You Talk To Your Kids About Star Wars?

http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/when-should-you-talk-to-your-kids-about-star-wars

I thought of your family right away. :)

Heather

Love the Hebrew subtitles! I've always wondered how to spell "Star Trek" in the mother tongue.

Kim

This is absolute proof that you are raising an incredible son. Live long and prosper, little nerds! :D

Random

My brother wanted an "allergy kit" for his birthday. We had no idea what it was, none at all, until my mother finally asked him where he had first heard about this "allergy kit."
"We did it at Cub Scout camp."
"Okay, tell me more about it."
"ALLERGY, you know? Shooting arrows?"

Archery.

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