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November 2010
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January 2011

Star Wars to the Rescue, Again

It was cold outside, so I put on my new earmuffs. Noah stopped dead in his tracks. "What are those?" he asked, staring at me with rapidly darkening eyes. "Earmuffs," I explained. "They're kind of like a hat. They keep my ears warm." I watched his body tense up, his rigid little internal alarm sounding the different! new! unfamiliar! alert as he tried to make sense of the funny-looking circles on my head. Was it a costume? Was I playing dress-up? Did it bother him? How much did it bother him? "May you take them off please?" he asked, in... Read more →


Notes From the Other Side

BIRTHDAY UPDATE: I did get out of bed, eventually. We got burritos for lunch, and then Jason offered to go wrangle the boys while I went shopping by myself. I bought a pair of maternity pants, some mittens and a pair of stupid-looking but ridiculously warm earmuffs. Jason was all, "What the hell? I figured you'd want like, shoes or something." But I was all, "Shut up, my ears were cold. This is the best birthday ever!" Then we went out for dinner and ordered dessert even though neither of us wanted dessert, because it was only 8:15 and if... Read more →


33

Today is my birthday. I'm 33, and I just had to do math to figure that out for sure. My gift to myself is a shameless whore-out post with little or no point other than to rack up a lot of comments from people telling me happy birthday. It occurred to me last night that I've never actually been pregnant on my birthday. In fact, the occasion has usually marked the end of a long year of fruitless trying. I know I've made getting pregnant my official birthday wish at least three or four times, with two of those wishes... Read more →


My Work Here Is Done

This morning Ezra decided to pull a stocking off the mantel, nailing himself directly in the face with one of those damn metal Pottery Barn stocking holders. He now has a big lump on his forehead and skinned and bloody nose. (And this is all of two days after he fell backwards off a stepstool, yet somehow managed to split the FRONT of his upper gums wide open. Toddler physics make no sense, other than the They Will Always Visibly Injure Themselves Right Before You Need To Take Their Picture Certainty Principle.) Also this morning, Noah was filling me in... Read more →


16 Weeks, Stuff & Nonsense

AMY: Hey! Who wants to hear all the boring nitty-gritty details of a routine obstetrician visit? VAGUELY MUTED VOICE: ME! ME! I DO! I DO! AMY: Great! Okay, so... YOU: Hey, wait a second, that was you, answering your own question, with your teeth clenched like a ventriloquist or something. AMY: No it wasn't. YOU: I saw your lips move when you made the "M" sound. AMY: No you didn't. YOU: This is stupid. I wish Cake Wrecks updated more than once a day. Anyway! Okay, so... Sixteen-week OB appointment this morning. Results of the genetic screening from the last... Read more →


ARE YOU READY FOR SOME CHRISTMAS

'Cause we're ready for some Christmas. Noah helped decorate the tree -- one of about a bajillion different firsts for him this year. We finally figured out that he's okay with having a tree in the house, he just doesn't want to see or even hear about it riding home on top of our car. Because...trees don't belong on cars? Because it might fall off? Because it's a flagrant violation of proper seat-belt usage laws? I DON'T KNOW WHY. I DON'T MAKE HIS RULES. All I know is that this year we skipped the whole picking-out-a-tree-as-a-family bit and didn't tell... Read more →


And How Was YOUR Day?

It was on this exact day in history when I realized that I needed to make a change. That the working-outside-the-home thing and I were not a good fit. That my poor already-meager brainpower reserves were overextended to the breaking point, making each and every venture into the outside world fraught with danger and the potential to snowball into a comedy of errors, or at least a story that could only be told with at least a dozen "...AND THEN!" transitions into the next circle of absent-minded hell. That being required to walk out the door remembering my keys AND... Read more →


Sugar & Spice

Ladies, let's talk about feminine dryness. Sponsored by... Oh, I'm kidding. Let's talk me being pregnant some more. Someone asked me how I was feeling yesterday, stomach flu aside, and I was happy to inform them that I'm feeling really pretty good, now that I've hit 14 weeks. And then it occurred to me that hmmm, I think I've been saying "14 weeks" for more than a week now. And then I completely blanked on how far along I actually am, and had to go off and re-consult an online pregnancy due date calculator thing. I'm 15 weeks. And a... Read more →


Surviving in the Desert

I don't talk about my in-laws that much. I mean, do I? I don't think I do. FUN FACT: I have probably deleted all of about...three or four blog entries, tops, ever, since I started this site (counts on fingers...oh my GOD) seven years ago. But I still remember the very entry I deleted. It was about visiting my in-laws, and despite sound incredibly tame and ridiculously nice compared with the kind of screeds you saw flying across the average anonymous Blogspot blog back in those Wild West days, I deleted it at Jason's request. So I've been good, right?... Read more →


Generations

As much as I would LOVE to write an incredibly detailed post about our weekend of non-stop stomach-flu illness (and as much as I'm sure y'all would LOVE to read about it), the fact is I previously committed today's posting spot to the American Cancer Society. They asked me to participate, once again, in their More Birthdays campaign, and contribute a monthly-ish post to help raise awareness of their research and programs and website. Today's post, according to my official editorial calendar (translation: an email from a few weeks ago that I have miraculously NOT LOST) is supposed to be... Read more →