BIRTHDAY UPDATE: I did get out of bed, eventually. We got burritos for lunch, and then Jason offered to go wrangle the boys while I went shopping by myself. I bought a pair of maternity pants, some mittens and a pair of stupid-looking but ridiculously warm earmuffs. Jason was all, "What the hell? I figured you'd want like, shoes or something." But I was all, "Shut up, my ears were cold. This is the best birthday ever!"
Then we went out for dinner and ordered dessert even though neither of us wanted dessert, because it was only 8:15 and if we left then we'd get home before the kids were even in bed and that's just a total waste of a babysitter, dammit, so we stayed at our table for an extra-long time having a very drawn-out discussion about how much we like our new coffeemaker.
Also: He gave me a lovely set of birthstone rings, which I've never had before, other than one I wore as a purity ring in high school, OH YES I DID, but then I stopped wearing it, JUST I DUNNO BECAUSE, and I think I have it hidden in a box somewhere, because I still feel too guilty to wear it ever.
Now that I've been married for 12 years, I suppose it may be time to get over that guilt already. Boring coffeemaker dinner conversation aside, I'm pregnant for the THIRD TIME and my husband likes to put dirty books on my Kindle when I'm not paying attention. I am a ruined woman, through and through.
(Yes, that is my hand held up in front of the very entry you are reading right now. Because I really do just make this shit up as I go along and then hit the Publish button whenever I get bored and/or hungry.)
(NOW STOP STARING AT MY CREATIVE PROCESS.)
CHRISTMAS UPDATE: Shit, I totally spoiled it already, by mentioning the coffeemaker.
Also: Legos. Oh God, so many, many Legos. We still haven't put together all the damn Legos. We will likely never put together all the damn Legos.
(We did, however, do a pretty good job at eating all that cheese.)
We also roasted a duck, braised some brussels sprouts and gratin'd a bunch of potatoes in even more cheese. It was good. I think that Julia Child person might know a thing or two about cooking! Because calling it merely "good" is like calling the number of gifts our children received "reasonable."
The boys hit some kind of terrible, awful wall of consumption around 11 am, after a couple hours of bouncing from item to item, playing with each for far fewer minutes than Jason and I spent assembling it, then launching into a full-scale war of whining and screaming over PERFECTLY IDENTICAL TOYS PURCHASED JUST TO AVOID THIS VERY SCENARIO. Because that 99-cent plastic wind-up train is red with blue wheels and this wind-up train is red with yellow wheels and therefore terribly undesirable while the red wind-up train is clearly the GREATEST THING KNOWN TO MAN AND I MUST HAVE IT INSTEAD.
And then this would then trigger Ezra's latest self-defense mechanism when he senses encroachment on his possessions: Scream like you are being murdered, and then throw the toy in question as hard as you can against the nearest wall.
He's a regular miniature King Solomon, this one. Wise beyond his inability to understand gravity, as seen in the super-attractive and festive holiday nose scabs.
And next Christmas, we're going to have THREE of them. "I don't know what we were thinking," Jason commented at one point, and I had to admit that right then, I didn't have the faintest idea either.
And somewhere, somehow, I swear I could hear the faintest cackling sound, coming from the back of a dresser drawer, where the ghost of an old and tarnished blue topaz purity ring was busy laughing its ass off at us...