Surviving in the Desert
And How Was YOUR Day?

Sugar & Spice

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Oh, I'm kidding. Let's talk me being pregnant some more. 

Someone asked me how I was feeling yesterday, stomach flu aside, and I was happy to inform them that I'm feeling really pretty good, now that I've hit 14 weeks.

And then it occurred to me that hmmm, I think I've been saying "14 weeks" for more than a week now. And then I completely blanked on how far along I actually am, and had to go off and re-consult an online pregnancy due date calculator thing.

I'm 15 weeks. And a half.

If I were my first-time pregnant self reading that, I would call my third-time pregnant self an asshole. A terribly callous, disinterested asshole. Man, just thinking about the self-righteous, paranoid sermon my first-time pregnant self would've lathered herself into makes me tired. Bitch needs to back the truck up and calm the cluck down, if you know what I mean. Could you tell her that for me? I can't even deal with her. She's so screechy about everything.  

Instead, this pregnancy quietly marvelous, so mysteriously separate from me and yet so very simply ALL MINE. I can feel the baby's whisper-feathery little movements, when I'm lying on my back (OH GOD NO) at night, and the crazy-fast thumpthumpthump of his heart is now ridiculously easy to find with the doppler.

(I never told you this, but for quite a few weeks I couldn't find the heartbeat, even though I was at the point where I was sure I *SHOULD* have been able to find it, and I walked into my 12-week ultrasound secretly convinced beyond any doubt that the baby was dead. CONVINCED. I even tried to give Jason a heads' up the night before that I had a very strong feeling that we were going to get some bad news, so. You know. Prepare thyself, for I have the Motherly Hunch of Doom. When the giant BABYNESS filled the ultrasound monitor I was like, "Oh! Never mind!" And Jason totally laughed at me.)

We won't know "for sure" about the sex for another month at least, though I admit we're operating under the assumption of another boy. (I know, I know, but if you saw what we saw at the last ultrasound, well...even the doctor was like, "Yeah, that's a boy.")

We have the name picked out. We've used it aloud, even. We've opted to not discuss girl names unless the next ultrasound completely shocks the hell out of us. I know everybody -- oh my God, EVERYBODY -- assumes we want a girl, or were deliberating trying for a girl, and nobody ever believes me that SURE, we'd want a girl, but in the same way we'd want a boy, if that's what it is, because the only thing we were even semi-deliberating trying for was a BABY. 

A girl would be lovely, of course. Super fun, I'm sure. I always assumed I'd have daughters, but rest assured...there is no pang. No pink-tinged hole of regret or feeling of loss when I picture myself as the mother of all boys. There is -- really and pinkie-swear truly -- nothing but cheesy-ass JOY at the image of Jason and I simply buried under a big old pile of OUR CHILDREN, however many we end up with or however worn out that same old recycled "Thank Heaven For Baby Boys" onesie looks in my imagination. 

Sometimes -- yes, I make jokes about it. Usually while scrubbing the base of our toilets or like, I don't know dude, it's a fruit sticker. I jokingly pout in the clothing stores. I hold up the little-girl options to show Jason and stick my tongue out because oh my God can you believe how cute this is and I didn't even show you the matching leggings and ballet slippers. And then I put it down and buy Basic "Daddy's Lil' All-Star/Champion/Bruiser" T-Shirt Version 732 instead. 

One time, Jason recalls looking up from whatever giant Lego construction project he and Noah had going all across the living room floor and seeing me curled up on the couch, paging through a (sorely misdirected) American Girls' catalog that came in the mail. And he worried, then, that I was missing out on something. Of course Jason would be more than happy to swap the Legos for a tea party and the lightsabers for princess wands -- he's just a good, involved dad who loves his kids -- but later he actually did wonder out loud if I was sad about not having any girls.

I wasn't. I'm not. My boys are boys, my babies, the ones I was meant to have. They are as sweet as the sweetest sugar in the world, and they give me everything -- EVERYTHING -- that I ever wanted out of motherhood, and so much more. 

And in...oh, who can remember exactly how many weeks, I get to do it all over again. Maybe we'll have a girl. Or maybe another boy. I don't care. I really don't care. It's delicious either way. 



I love that you don't care. I think people who think you MUST care are projecting because THEY care. (Not that there's anything wrong with that. I mean, I care, but I care FOR ME, not for you. Not that I don't care about you, but...oh, you know what I mean. Hooray for babies of all flavors!)


I had my third boy last year. We didn't know 'til he came out and I was thrilled. Boys love hard and loud. I wouldn't trade one hockey stick, soccer ball, light sabre, army man, toy gun, for anything. There is nothing better. A girl would be great too but secretly I'm rooting for you to join the 3 Boy Club!


This is just so sweet. I am in the other corner, all girls and sometimes I wonder if my hubby would like a little boy...but since the little girl is always in the garage with him anyway I don't think he misses having a JR all that much...



1) I'm pregnant with my second and consult babycenter once a week to "remember" how far a long I am. This time is WAY different from the first pregnancy.

2) We have a boy and found out we're having a girl. SOOO many people have told us, "Oh good. So at least you'll have one of each". ?? We just wanted a baby. I'm thrilled to be having a girl but would have been thrilled to be having a boy too. People are silly sometimes.

Congrats on everything going so smoothly! I'm very happy for you! :)


Yes, yes and yes. As a mom of two boys, I coo and engage in envy over adorable girlie clothes, dolls, pink things. But my boys take my breath away. They are my soul and I was meant to have them. I know my husband actually wanted a little girl to spoil, someone he could protect and dote on. I think he realized the boys need that from him too and he hasn't missed a thing.


We had the same problem when we were pregnant with our surprise 3rd baby. We already had 2 girls ages 2 1/2 and 9 mo. "Are you trying for a boy" My response was that I wasn't trying for anything and I was given a blessing. He will be 9 in June.


We had the same problem when we were pregnant with our surprise 3rd baby. We already had 2 girls ages 2 1/2 and 9 mo. "Are you trying for a boy" My response was that I wasn't trying for anything and I was given a blessing. He will be 9 in June.


Our families both rooted for us to have a girl...we had two boys. I couldn't agree more, though. They are my boys, my babies, and exactly what I was meant to have.

E @ Oh! Apostrophe

I love this post. I'm 25 weeks (and it's my first time so I know for sure it's 25! :)) and finding myself totally shocked at the fact that I'm thrilled, no, THRILLED, to be having a boy. I'd always pictured a girl. When the ultrasound tech said it was a boy, I heard myself shriek delightedly and wondered, who the heck was that!? Sure I'd love a girl next, but if it's a boy, I know I'll feel the same 100% joy I do about this one.


My dad is one of three boys, and he and his brothers have a great relationship. Their growing-up years sound hilarious and chaotic and awesome, and something about three boys seems sort of right to me. Yay!


Awesome post! I am also in my 15th week, and also have two boys - and I feel exactly the same way that you have described here. It would be fun in some ways, but my boys are my heart. I couldn't feel disappointed either way (neither would my husband). Thank you for putting it out there! Take care.


Whenever I told people I had boy/girl twins they would always say "how perfect-one of each!" And I always thought does that mean two girls or two boys wouldn't be perfect? I thought how wonderful it would have been for the children to have a twin of the same sex. It doesn't matter-they are as close as two siblings can get. (They still sleep in the same bed at five years old.) I do love having girls and a boy but as pinkalicious says (a book you probably won't get to read with all boys)-"you get what you get and you don't get upset." You get happy-so very happy and what you have been given.


I like this post. My husband and I feel much the same way about our forthcoming child.

On a side note: I'm about seven weeks behind you, and this is like my own personal update to your already-lovely pregnancy calendar on alphamom (which is far, far superior to the weekly updates I get from another common baby website).


I hope the internet has been more lighthearted and fun about the "You need a girl!" than it sounds like some people in real life have been : (

It's so easy for us to sit back and tease and hope for a certain gender because hey, it's not our family planning! The pregnancy that feels so different from your previous ones; no morning sickness, so much calm...a girl would be so poetic in the face of it all!

But, like I said, it's because we're the peanut gallery.

The Domestic Goddess

Amen to that. Delicious any way you have 'em.


Thank you for this post--because it's exactly the way I feel. I wanted a girl so badly that I was a bit upset when I saw the sonogram with boy parts. Now, I can't imagine it any other way. He's what I was meant to have. And now that we're thinking about another, I just can't wait for a delicious new "baby," I don't care if it's a boy or girl.


It was bad enough when I was pregnant with my third and people assumed we had "tried for a boy" but it is truly awful every time a stranger comments, in front of my three wonderful girls, "Didn't get that boy you wanted, huh? Are you going to keep trying for a boy?" I think those people generally have no clue that they are being hurtful to my girls and their self-esteem, but if they thought about it for even a second they would realize. I've tried any number of responses but the best seems to be, "Why would I want a boy when I have these three wonderful girls RIGHT HERE?" Of course I would have been happy with a boy also -- any baby and especially a healthy baby.


Our children are adopted and the first perfect child is a girl, hahaha. When we found out we were lucky enough to adopt a second child and it was a boy I thought hmmm what do you do with boys? Well when the 2nd perfect child arrived we were blown away with the sheer awesomeness of boys! I enjoy reading about your sweet family!


Such a sweet post. I wish my husband felt more like that. He desperately wants one of each, and we have a girl so I'm a little worried what his reaction will be if the next one is a girl, too.

I'm confident he would love a 2nd daughter every bit as much as the first, but I predict he would be a little sad about not having a son.


I can so relate with your post! With my first, I knew the DAY I was due - with my second, I knew the week - and with my third, I was like "sometime in October?" when people asked!

And btw - I couldn't STAND it when people would see my belly and my 2 little boys and say "oh, trying to get your girl, aren't you?" - so RUDE!!


I'm the third, I'm the only girl. My mom said she burst into tears when they told her it was a girl, because she Really Really Really didn't want ANY girls. ANY. AT ALL. BOYS ONLY.

(We can laugh about that now, because it turns out we have a great relationship and apparently I didn't suck too much, etc. )

Anyway, what I take from that story: You get the family you get, regardless of your wishes and it's so, so awesome. Full stop.

So yay for you and your family. And the mountains of hand me downs that you will have.


Oh, man, I'm pregnant with my first and I keep having to check my iPhone app to tell me how many weeks I am. Now that we're solidly in the third trimester it's not as important how many weeks I am as it is that OMG WE HAVE LESS THAN THREE MONTHS LEFT MUST NESTNESTNESTNESTNEST!

I try to chalk up the "Oh, you must want X" comments to the same don't-mean-to-be-as-rude-as-I'm-being force that drives people to say things like "Can you still fit behind the wheel of a car? You're just so HUGE!" (Bite me, mother-in-law.)

Heather B

I totally understand your "not caring". I have 2 girls so everyone assumes I must just have this burning need for this third one to be a boy. But no. I truly have zero concern about the baby's sex. To the point that we yet again did not find out the sex at the 20 week ultrasound. Third time we've done that, too.


Oh, shudd-up perfect momma! Just kidding. I am really thrilled about boy #2 now. It was disappointing at first because I really thought I felt "girl" and was more frustrated with being so wrong than with the boy thing. Maybe. Also, I noted the weeks down in a calendar and still thought I was 26 weeks this week...wait...what...yeah, 27. Shit for brains, I tell you.
I knew exactly what weeks I was the first go-around. Why can't I remember this time. I care just as much I just am not as anal, I guess.


For the simple and totally selfish reason that boys tend to love mommas just so darn much, I'd be damn happy to have 3 as well. :)


One of my favorite posts of yours is "On having a boy" (I think that's what it's titled?) and I read it a lot (I have my own boy) and I just think you captured so perfectly what it's like to have a boy that since then I've always thought you'd be happy with a football team of boys if that's what you got.

Leigh Ann

I always wanted boys and actually got a bit depressed when I found out my twins were girls. My first thought was "They are going to hate me."

Now we have three girls total, and hubs assures me that #4 will be a boy.

"Maybe with your next wife," I tell him.


I always pictured myself with daughters. My sister always imagined she's have sons. I'm in the living room right now with my two boys, and sis is halfway through her pregnancy with her second girl. It's not what either of us imagined those many years ago, but I don't think either one of us feels that we're missing something or that we somehow ended up with the "wrong" kids.

@Karen-I was guessing girl too my second time. My biggest disappointment was not getting to use my girl name. Of course, I would have felt the same way about not using my boy name.


Leigh Ann - When I found out that Noah was a boy, I wailed "he's going to HATE me!" to Jason later in the parking lot.

SPOILER ALERT: He totally doesn't.


This reminds me of my best friend, so very much. She has 2 girls (5 and 2), and number three just arrived. When they found out it was a boy, all grandparents were ecstatic, but honestly, the parents were... well, not fazed. They actually had been expecting another girl, and had gotten used to the thought - "we just know how to do girls"
They did not at all like the (most often elderly person postulated) opinion that it was about time they had a boy, and that that was why they had to have three, etc. As if the two before weren't the best children EVER to have (sorry one is my dear little friend, and one is my goddaughter, I am biased). I value all babies, and I think that is how it should be. There is no gender balance to be achieved, they are simply well-loved members of the family, that's it! Thank you, Amy, for this post.


Love this. <3


When we were expecting our third, and went in for the ultrasound, they told us the baby was a boy and my husband turned to me and said, "Oh, honey, I'm sorry." And I said, "FOR WHAT?" I was so excited to have a third boy. I honestly worried about a girl feeling out of place, put upon by having to exist in a household of boys.

And now we're at 12 weeks with our fourth, and my husband is by now convinced we can only produce boys, so he's calling the baby "he" already. My oldest boy is pondering that it might be "neat" to have a baby sister, and I'm sure that my other boys would be pleased as punch to have a little girl to protect and be bossed around by...but I'm secretly, or not-so-secretly--hoping it's another boy. Because HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE??

Oh, and about people's assumptions: yeah, when I was pregnant with #3, I got the "Were you trying for a girl?" all the time and it seriously annoyed me. Once I actually said, "No, we were trying for a HEDGEHOG, but the damn DNA wouldn't cooperate." That nosey parker shut up pretty fast!


I'm so glad you wrote this. I'm 9 weeks pregnant (jealous of your 15! oh, second trimester, come to mama!) with two daughters. Everyone everyone assumes we were "trying" for a boy. Sorry folks! We were just trying for a BABY. The family just didn't feel complete, you know? And I love having daughters. I'd love to have three. Or I'd love to have a boy, to experience the other side of things. I just want a healthy baby.

I do admit, though, I think I know where Jason is coming from. I sit and play Barbies and My Little Pony and relive a lot of my childhood with the girls, and I worry that my husband is missing out. But he absolutely delights in them (and they have Legos and train sets and trucks, so he's still doing a lot of that.) I know in my heart he is just fine, and I'm certain you are too.


Okay, because of the 12 page parenthetical, that sounded like I was saying I'm currently pregnant with two daughters, which, omg, no please no. Two daughters kicking my ass, and one unknown blobbo in the belly. Hee.


Well said! Thank you for this post!! I am expecting my second boy any day now. And was surprised at how many people have reacted disappointed, even sad about this fact. WEIRDOS. And that we MUST try for a third to get a girl. The truth is, we've ALWAYS wanted three kids (or more?), and never once thought the sex mattered. Ever. At all. I hate that people assume otherwise. The ideal family is the one you are blessed with!!!

Life of a Doctor's Wife

This is one of those posts that I have no words for... but I love it so much I can't NOT comment.

You seem so content and happy. I love it.

Amy K

Glad to hear the pregnancy is going so well. And I can't wait to hear the name! Since you guys seem to have gone the OT route, I'm going to guess Isaac or Caleb. Adam seems a little tame, and Ezekiel seems a little over-the-top.


I have one of each and have always, always, always found it annoying when someone has said "Oh good, you're all done since you have one of each" or some other gender-related stupidness to me. I do indeed feel fortunate to have two healthy, happy children, and if they were both boys or both girls my joy at who they are as people would be no less. Their personalities are why I love them, not their genders. Babies (and the people they turn into) are wonderful blessings, and I am thrilled for you at the idea of a whole new person in your family.


The fruit sticker story NEVER gets old. I knew how it ended and still I am shaking with laughter!

Barefoot Liz

I love my baby boy. Wait, he's not a baby anymore, he's almost 8! heh heh.


Hey just as an FYI, at 12 weeks a clitoris looks the same as a penis on an ultrasound. They are both just little knobs, and it takes a couple more weeks for either the labia to grow around or the balls or whatever. Now I am very, very uncomfortable, and I know you don't care either way, but anyway you really can't tell then.

Someone who also thought they were having a boy based on the angry inch at the 12.5 week ultrasound, but in fact 4 weeks later turned out to be having a (normal! This is normal. They all look like they have penises then)girl.


Hey just as an FYI, at 12 weeks a clitoris looks the same as a penis on an ultrasound. They are both just little knobs, and it takes a couple more weeks for either the labia to grow around or the balls or whatever. Now I am very, very uncomfortable, and I know you don't care either way, but anyway you really can't tell then.

Someone who also thought they were having a boy based on the angry inch at the 12.5 week ultrasound, but in fact 4 weeks later turned out to be having a (normal! This is normal. They all look like they have penises then)girl.


I always found that funny, that people wouldn't believe me when I said the third time, no we really weren't trying for a boy. Also? NO, I truly don't care either way.

People are odd.

Then again? Even when they said boy the third time, I was like, eh, I don't make boys. Ha.

I think the third time is different, because now you know what to expect and when and you absolutely know that no matter how shitty it is this week, it will be different next week. It tends to creep up on you faster.


There's no guarantee that a girl would Want to swap out the light sabers for fairy wands. . . or that another boy won't want to. ;)


Karen - hedgehog?! bwahahahaha!

At the ultrasound where we discovered #2 would be Jack, not Jane, I cheered and said, "Yay - now we never have to pay for a wedding!" to which DH replied, "Yes, but our ER co-pays will probably add up to as much."

He admitted later that he was a little sad to learn that we would never have Daddy's Little Girl, but I am thrilled - THRILLED - to be surrounded by dirty, noisy, destructive boys.

My mom actually told me that she was very sad that she wouldn't get another granddaughter. Um, sorry - NOT!

And why?!?!? do people assume that you need a matched set, or that you're going to keep trying until you get one (or more) of each sex?

Oh, and as for the counting? I can't for the life of me tell you how old Baby Jack is in weeks, but I know he'll be 3 months old on the 17th. Close enough, right?

kim at allconsuming

Four boys here and hey, NO PANG!

There was that woman at the checkout who told me I was LYING when I said I was not hoping for a girl.

We are just thrilled to be drowning under the detritus of our great big pile of boys.



Hee, when I was pregnant with my third after having two boys, everyone assumed we wanted a girl, and couldn't believe it when I said that I was actually rooting for another boy. I understood baby boys. What the heck did I know about raising girls? I could screw it up! (Such a total 180 from my first pregnancy - what! A boy is not in the plan! Boys are icky!)

She turned out to be a girl. And so did number 4! Boys or girls - either one is awesome.


I love this post! I am just about a week behind you with my second and I couldn't agree with you more. Our first is a boy and I would be thrilled to have another. I would also be thrilled with a girl. I just wish people would stop saying, "oh, maybe it's a girl" or "what are you going to name your girl?" Honestly, when did it become the ideal to have a girl, or to have one of each. Two boys are great or three or four and vice versa with girls. I just want a healthy, happy baby.

Look forward to more pregnancy updates and can't wait to hear the name you two have chosen, I love Ezra and Noah.


This is exactly the way I feel about my two boys (not sure if we'll have any more babies, but if we do it's not to "try for a girl".) So nice to read that you (and so many of the commenters) feel it, too!


You all probably know this, but because some of what's written above implies to the contrary I'm going to say it anyway: the DNA in the sperm determines whether it will be a boy baby or a girl baby. We women have nothing to do with it; we just nurture them in our wombs. The eggs we contribute can grow into either a boy or a girl.

I had two boys, then a girl. Like everyone else, we weren't "trying" for a girl. She was a bit of a surprise; we weren't "trying" for anything. But once the "bun is in the oven," its gender is already determined; it is what it is, and we're thrilled to have it.

Certainly I like having had the experience of raising both boys and a girl -- but if the 3rd baby had been a boy, we would not have been disappointed, we would have loved him as much as the other two. :)

No doubt about it, boys and girls are different -- even when you take great pains not to impose gender stereotypes on them. But every kid is different, too.


I also told my husband, upon finding out the sex (boy): "I'm afraid the baby will only want you, and will hate meeeeeeee!"

24 weeks tomorrow :)


At my 20 wk US with my 3rd the tech asked me "So you have 2 boys hmmm, are you going to freak out or anything, just so I can be ready" Nice. Yes, we do have 3 boys=total awesomeness. Also a nurse asked me post c section if I wanted "to try and get my girl?" People are just weird. Best of luck to you- oh and- that one comment is right, 12.5 wk could easily be girl parts- a friend of mine had a similar experience.


Ahh, so beautifully written yet so funny! Thank you!


as the mother of two boys, 24 and 17, if I were to do it again, knowing then what I know now, I would go for six boys. I love, love, love my boys.




Last week I found I'm carrying a boy. We have a 2 year old girl. People's excitement is generally just that it's a baby, but there have been some weird comments (well, weird to me) about our family now being "complete." So if we had two girls we'd be incomplete? Plus no one believes me that I really truly did not care if it was a boy or a girl.

So glad to hear that your pregnancy is going so well, and that you're enjoying it so much.


Yes, it is delicious. It really really is.


You know, I cared with Sam. I wanted a boy. I was DISAPPOINTED when it was a girl. And now, DUH, she's perfect, and I want a houseful of girls. Or boys. Or whichever, seriously. I think once I had a child, I came to the obvious realization that it doesn't matter whether it's a boy or a girl, it's your kid, and s/he will be wonderful.

For any subsequent children, I can say that I really don't care. Well, wait: I care only because I have PILES AND PILES of gorgeous girl clothes that I would like to re-use, but that has nothing to do with anything real.


With three boys, you'll someday have QiGon Jin and ObiWan Kenobi versus Darth Maul while they re enact Episode One (but you're showing them 4 first, right?)

Then, there's always Bearius Care, Spock and Bones.

If a third ever had been in the cards, I probably would have secretly been relieved if I'd had another boy.

Boys are just the awsome. I don't dislike girls but DUDE, boys have much cooler toys!

(And my sister has you beat-she recently found out that she was expecting number three at ELEVEN weeks!)


I always, always wanted one of each. Always pictured my little family that way. Always thought I wanted a daughter first too (I'm the oldest daughter of oldest daughters, 3 generations back.) Then I got pregnant the first time, and it. did. not. matter. And my second surprise? Did. Not. Matter. Until, hurray! Girl! Hurray! Except, it would've been hurray, boy, too. Hurray, baby! (I kinda do hope you have a girl, though, because I want to read about her giving her brothers what-for. But I'm selfish that way.)


And, oh, duh, I have two girls. And we are complete, no pangs needed.

Marilyn Part

I have three daughters, now all in their 20's and I know just what you mean Amy :) Enjoy them as the time goes so very fast!


I love this. I'm 18 weeks (18 weeks -today-, I celebrate by reading your pregnancy calendar every Wednesday) into my first pregnancy and I too really and truly don't care about the sex either way. I'm looking forward to finding out next month simply because I want to know which clothes to buy, but that's it.

It's funny, I had been rooting for a girl for the first trimester and then had a dream where we found out it was a girl and I was HORRIBLY disappointed. It's funny how things like that can totally change the way you look at things.

Korinthia Klein

Drove me crazy after two girls when we were pregnant again that so many people assumed we were simply "trying for that boy." I almost wished for another girl just to spite them all. We did have a boy, and I adore him just like I do my other babies, but part of me remains a little annoyed that some people will think we stopped having kids now because we "got the boy."


Such a great post! I too did not care. My first turned out to be my lovely daughter (and I will admit to some relief for my first as girls were all I knew).

My second was a boy and I now know the true joys of mothering a boy and would not have missed the experience!

You love the children you are given. And all of us feel truly blessed by the gift of our children. A passel of girls or a passel of boys or some of each; it does not matter. they are our gift.


I've never met a mother of all boys who wasn't batshit fucking insane.


I've never met a mother of all boys who wasn't batshit fucking insane.


I've never met a mother of all boys who wasn't batshit fucking insane.

Lisa V

When we had our third girl, people actually said "oh, another girl" with disappointment in their voices. We were thrilled to have 3 girls. We knew how to deal with them, our lives were geared around "girl world." We loved it. It was insulting to have someone think our children weren't exactly what we wanted.


This is one of my most favorite of all your posts; simply awesome.

And I hope the name you picked for him is Jude. Or Abram. Or Elijah.

And if he is a she, I love the names Sarah and Ruth.

Jennie - Modern Mom Blogger

I thought for SURE I was having a girl with my first. Didn't know what I'd do if it was a boy. It was a boy.

The second I thought for SURE I was having a boy. What would I do with a girl? I don't know how to raise a girl. It was a girl.

And now... I'm expecting our 3rd girl. Which of course, I thought would be a boy.

I give.

kari b

My babyname guess is Jude. Can't wait, I am so excited for y'all!!


I have 3 boys and wouldn't have it any other way. It's fun being queen.

One of my boys is 14 yrs old and I'm just glad that he's not dealing with PMS. My house can only handle 1 bitch at a time.


I have a girl and a boy, and they're individuals, my babies, not pink & blue flavours. My daughter hates dresses & Barbie; my son is affectionate & loves art. Each is a joy in their own way - because of their personalities, not because of the extra X or Y chromosome.

I don't want to sound dull & preachy, but for every woman who's desperately struggled to have a healthy baby, a boy *or* a girl is an honest-to-God perfect miracle.

Whatever it is, I'm sure it will be a beautiful baby : ) and that's what matters.

From Belgium

My husband turned to yesterday and said (not for the first time) : 'thank God we have two daughters' And I am pretty damn sure he would have said the same if we had two boys...


"oh my God can you believe how cute this is and I didn't even show you the matching leggings and ballet slippers. "

Or you can enjoy a brief but shining moment of indulging your inner pink-gingham lover only to have your Pink Precious Bundle O' Joy learn to walk and talk seemingly ONLY so she can pull herself upright and say "lose the pink. It's lame." She then grows into a lanky athlete who kicks the crap out of a soccer ball (and any boy who gets in her way in her pursuit of it).


We have 3 girls. #2 and #3 we obviously trying for boys. Except we weren't. Husband is a superhero/toy/videogame/lego nut and how could I not give him a boy? Turns out girls love all that stuff too. It is lots of fun to pair superhero shirts w/ frilly skirts too. :) Boy or girl..babies are delicious. I can't wait to internet meet your newest!


Two boys. Love it. Wouldn't change it for NOTHIN'. Good luck sweetie!


i have three boys and this is *EXACTLY* how i felt about the boy/girl thing. a girl would be lovely, but no more wonderful than another boy. and we got a boy. and i was (am) thrilled.

we're trying for #4 now and same applies. boy or girl = WOOT!


People & their "oooh don't you wish it was a girl" or whatever comments are just dumb... well, maybe the people aren't dumb, but the comments are. I miscarried twice, then had a girl, then had secondary infertility, then had a boy... if I had a nickel for everytime I heard "oh good now you can be done since you have one of each" I wouldn't have to save $$ for either kid's college education. Maybe I wanted #3, but it wasn't in the cards for me and I couldn't afford infertility treatments... As far as "yeah! you now have one of each", I would have loved my second just as much if he'd been a girl too. I also didn't find out the sex of either baby while I was pg (not that there's anything wrong with finding out if you want to, I just didn't) & people were asking don't you want to know??? I didn't because I didn't CARE what sex it was, I just wanted a BABY! Happy for you & your relaxed pregnancy.


Wait. Does this mean that you might not be done with three? Whoohoo for big families.


Amen to that! I've got three girls, and every time we are expecting, everyone jumps on the boy bandwagon. Um, we are happy with a healthy baby, penis optional.


I totally agree. I have two boys and we want another baby next year. I just know it will be a boy and I will love him to bits. I thought I would be sad without a girl, but I'm not at all. And my oldest son loves to watch Disney Princess movies with me, so that's wonderful!


The thing about gender preference is that it only applies pre-conception. Once that little spark of life is making you puke, the only thing worth hoping for is meeting THAT ONE. Him/her/them/whatever.
I had a girl after three boys, and people keep asking me if I'm soooo glad to finally have a girl. I always think, huh. I guess. The clothes are fun and all. And LORDY, does she talk a lot. But am I thrilled every day that she's a girl? Sure? I guess? I'm just glad that she's HER, that she's HERE, and that our family finally has that last little person I've been missing.
Mostly I express that by saying something classy like "I dunno. I haven't thought about her having a vagina all day."
And then my 15 year old son has to promptly die out of embarrassment. That's awesome.


We also have two boys and plan for another BABY, just as you described. I'm not looking forward to having to justify my happiness if Baby v3.0 is a boy, nor having to bend over backward to make sure that if Baby v3.0 is a girl that the nosy world knows that I am NOT, in any way, relieved.


On two different occasions whilst pregnant with Boy v2.0 random strangers asked the gender and had the audacity to say "Oh . . . I'm sorry! Are you okay with that?" Unimportant supermarket checkout line-type people, but still. Irked the cluck out of me.


People operated under the assumption that we were trying for a girl when we announced that our third baby was on the way. When we told everyone we were having our 3rd boy they all started asking if we planned to try again for a chance at a girl. I don't get it. Sure, I love looking at the frilly, girlie clothes, but at the end of the day, I have three incredible boys that I wouldn't trade for anything. Having three boys in the house keeps me on my toes and it is so very fun. And as an added bonus, I'm fairly confident that no one will be trying to borrow my shoes in 10 years.


Thank you so much for this post. We just found out Monday that we will be having our third boy in May. Did I want a girl? Of course, but now I am thrilled with the idea of another sweet mama's boy. What a blessing :)


What a sweet post. I happen to have "one of each", boy first, then the girl. I'll admit I cried with joy when I got to buy little girl clothes. That lasted all of two years. Now she insists on picking out her own clothes, and she wants clothes like her brother's! There is no pink here, and definitely no ruffles.

Also, I wanted to say in response to an earlier commenter who mentioned "you get what you get and you don't get upset"...We have relatives who say "you git what you git and you don't pitch a fit".


Atta girl! So nice to hear about your glow. Enjoy it, little mama.


Love this post. I was getting increasingly annoyed at the "I hope it's a girl!" comments you were getting. Also find it hilarious that people are suggesting/guessing names for you. How helpful! (I'm also pregnant and maybe a bit moody?)

Kim T

That's a great attitude - very you get what you get and you don't have a fit. Also being your third time, you know that you love your children whoever they turn out to be. You would even a love a tween girl with all the angst and drama that entails (at least that's what I tell myself everytime my so sweet eldest child rolls her eyes at me). But also rest assured even girls don't wear all those super cutey emsembles for long. My two daughters wear plain T-shirts and jeans just about everyday, and they are not even tomboys. Best of luck on that sweet baby.

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