Surviving in the Desert
December 14, 2010
I don't talk about my in-laws that much. I mean, do I? I don't think I do. FUN FACT: I have probably deleted all of about...three or four blog entries, tops, ever, since I started this site (counts on fingers...oh my GOD) seven years ago. But I still remember the very entry I deleted. It was about visiting my in-laws, and despite sound incredibly tame and ridiculously nice compared with the kind of screeds you saw flying across the average anonymous Blogspot blog back in those Wild West days, I deleted it at Jason's request.
So I've been good, right? Other than occasionally holding them up as a case study for the Advice Smackdown, I feel like I've barely mentioned them. So I'm due! I can talk about my in-laws for just a little bit. It's my Christmas wish.
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Anyway. My in-laws. They are great. Really, really kind and generous and willing to do just about anything for us. Other than use the hand towels in our bathroom. They always prefer to bring their own. I've never gotten around to asking them what that's all about.
When we go to visit them, I am happy to use the provided hand towels, but I am admittedly less happy about the TV options. Because there aren't any. I think they get about five channels, half of which don't even seem to be like, actual TV networks that air anything from this actual century. The last time I was there I ended up watching an hour-long public-access infomercial for a self-help book on tape. Cassette tape.
They own a couple old Disney VHS tapes for the kids, three or four 1980s comedies that we've collectively watched as a group approximately 435 times, and a lot of televised church sermons. And that's it.
Fine. They don't watch a lot of TV. It's probably why their house is so clean and they have time to make a lot of fancy salads. I get it, and I admire it, but many, many times our weekend visits have stretched out to include Sunday night. Which, historically, has presented a few problems. Problems like:
Six Feet Under
The Amazing Race
Flight of the Conchords
The Walking Dead
And probably many, many other series that 1) aired on Sunday nights, and 2) included a lot of cursing, sex, vampires and/or zombies. Oh! And Battlestar Galactica, back on Friday nights. And let's not forget weeknight visits and Top Chef and Project Runway and Lost and...okay, I'll stop.
Point is! Jason and I are giant-ass babies about our TV shows. We are. We get invested, they are important, and it's only through years of training and DVR ownership that we've developed the willpower to wait 15 minutes or so to "get behind the commercials" and watch things semi-live. Certain shows simply do not ever "sit" on the DVR until the next day. Watching episodes online is fine...for people with the patience to wait 24 whole hours, or whatever the hell, like SUCKERS. We rent seasons on DVD too, but it's to watch our favorite shows AGAIN, like ADDICTS.
All right, so maybe this post is more about us than my in-laws, but here comes the big confession: Whenever we visit my in-laws, one or both of us usually comes down with a Headache or an attack of the Really Tireds...generally sometime between 8:15 and 10:15, depending on what show we're talking about...and we head upstairs to the guest bedroom where Jason has set up a laptop to stream that show from our DVR at home.
With headphones, of course, because those vampires on HBO like to use the FILTHIEST language, you guys.
We'll be spending at least a few days at their house for Christmas, but I think even if they read this post we'll be okay, because everything's pretty much on mid-season break right now. Oh, and I'm pregnant, which always requires an unquestioned number of naps and breaks and hours-long marathons of Hoarders and Man v. Food reruns anyway, so I'm good.