January 17, 2011
Hey! So who's sick of hearing about how sick everybody is?
ME ME ME ME ME ME.
We celebrated the end of the flu onslaught this weekend with haircuts and grocery shopping. AS ONE DOES, when one is finally free to leave the house and attempt a couple much-delayed errands and the kids are walking into walls because their hair is long enough to French braid. NOT THAT I CHECKED OR ANYTHING. We went out for pizza. Some of us even ate some! We came home and put the kids to bed and a few hours later, as I mentally debated whether or not I could possibly tolerate the idea of my husband touching me without hacking up a lung all over him (sexily), Noah woke up screaming his head off in pain, because NOW he had an ear infection.
HEADWALL HEADWALL HEADWALL.
I had this whole other tangent typed here, and then I read it. And...I'm not going to lie: I don't know what in sam hill I was talking about. It started off with something about ears and seemed to end up about two sentences shy of me lying face down on the floor, clutching the earth in terror and begging SOMEONE to assure me that this whole three-children thing wasn't that terrible of an idea, and that it was all going to be okay. Eventually. Once they hit college, maybe.
It was a tad overly dramatic, is my point. Fueled solely by the power of hormones, sleep deprivation and some capsaicin-fueled mania from that spicy burrito I just ate.
Instead, let me ask those of you who Maybe Have Your Shit More Together Than I Do At This Particular Moment for some advice: Noah has basically been sick for a full seven days now. Seasonal flu, then a head cold, then an ear infection, with maybe one day of being "better" in between each onslaught. We did avoid both antibiotics AND any stomach-related illnesses, yet the child will not eat. At all. I mean, we're talking solid DAYS of him soundly refusing to eat ANYTHING, and even getting him to drink anything has been a challenge, thus thwarting my attempts to at least pump him full of smoothies or vitamin drinks masquerading as chocolate shakes. I think we've averaged one semi-decent meal every three days, while skipping the other two AND displaying total apathy towards his favorite foods and snacks. SNACKS! Who are you, child, and just how tight do you think those adjustable slim-fit pants GO, anyway?
One night I got so desperate to see him consume ACTUAL CALORIES that I told him sure, he could TOTALLY have leftover Christmas cookies for dinner, TOTALLY...and he nibbled on one for a little while and then said Ezra* could have the rest.
Anyway, I don't even know what kind of advice I'm looking for -- I mean, I know all the sneaky ways to fortify and healthify junk food and all but I can't even get the kid to eat the junk food in the first place, sooooo...maybe someone could just offer an estimate from their experience as to just how long the post-illness food strike might last? Or at least assure me that there are more than enough calories in children's ibuprofen to sustain healthy organ function for another couple days?
*Ezra's appetite is JUST FINE, in fact, do you have any meatballs? Like right now? How about some pancakes? How about some meatballs wrapped inside a pancake?