Gnome Encounters
January 25, 2011
Oh, hi there.
FROM NEW YORK CITY!
*awkwardly makes some imprecise hand gesture that I'm not sure actually means anything*
Jason and I have escaped the clutches of our germ-encrusted children for a little getaway this week, where we can expose ourselves to culture and an entirely new city's worth of viruses and bacteria. Especially since it is, according to some very reputable cab drivers we've spoken to, approximately negative 57 degrees outside and you are risking iciclehood just by walking outside.
We arrived yesterday. So far we've:
1) Learned about the effect of cold weather on Amtrak trains, which seems to be similar to the effect of snow, ice, rain, electrical storms, wind, understaffing, overcrowding and/or cows standing around on the track. In other words: DELAYS. LOTS OF 'EM.
3) Checked into hotel.
4) Stripped hotel bed and inspected for bedbugs.
5) Found no bedbugs.
6) Ate $8 container of hotel Pringles.
7) Took a nap.
8) Had dinner with my sister and brother-in-law.
9) Bought $1.77 replacement for hotel Pringles at drugstore.
10) Slept some damn more.
Today should be every bit as exciting. And more! We're actually here with a little help from Travelocity for NYC Restaurant Week (and my buddy Holly). (Oh my God, do you see what I just did there? THAT WASN'T EVEN INTENTIONAL. I'm sure that doesn't make it any less tired and groanworthy for Holly, though.) This means -- and I am not lying -- I get to meet the Roaming Gnome today and talk to him before our meals.
I'm actually kind of stressing about this: What does one SAY to the Roaming Gnome? What are appropriate topics of conversation? What should I wear? What if I do that awful thing where I devolve into a giggly starstruck moron around anyone vaguely famous or who has ever appeared on television, finding out too late that my easily-impressed self also does that around wisecracking corporate mascots?
Maybe I should start with a shower and some coffee. Will write more later, post-Gnome, provided my fingers don't just freeze the hell off or we get lost in an urban snowdrift or something.
I would like to know if the gnome has different outfits for all the climates he visits. And is he ever tempted to shave off that beard when he visits warm climates?
(I would have titled this post "No place like Gnome.")
Oh wait, it was the previous post w/o a title. Sorry, I got nothin for that.
Oh wait, it was the previous post w/o a title. Sorry, I got nothin for that.
So... the gnome talks? Like talk talks? Do you have to hold him up to eye level to carry on a conversation? And then what is the etiquette about wear you grab the little chap?
See, it's burning questions like these that haunt me before I fall asleep at night.
Jesus Christ. Spelling FAIL! *Where* you grab the little chap. Gah.
That is hilarious! I just posted about my own little Gnomes the other day - Norman and Newman. Poor little fellows were buried in our recent snow storms.
Can I admit I am jealous that you get to meet the Roaming Gnome? No? That would be pathetic?
if i ever got to meet the roaming gnome, the one and only question i would have for him would be this: "is phil keoghan as hot in person as he is on my television? and can i have his phone number?"
okay that's two questions, but i would ask them all fast and in run-on sentence form, so it would come out in one breath.
Welcome to NYC! I am currently on the 20th floor of my office on 28th and 7th. Stop by. Please. Anything to kill the boredom. Bring the Gnome. Also, it's snowing. Again. GAH.
hope you hotel doesn't have one of those fancy minibars that senses when an item is removed & charges you at that time - (even if you replace!)
It's 30 degrees warmer in NYC than it was yesterday. Feels like a freakin' heat wave. I'm going out for a walk.
Oh, I am jealous--DC's Restaurant Week coincided with the last week of my first trimester, so it was a no go--and simultaneously very happy for you. I hope you enjoy every minute/bite!
And you are just so excited about meeting the gnome you skipped the second thing you have done in NY LOL! Have fun
you replaced the pringles. that's just good solid thinking and i'm not sure i'd have thought of it. well done, you.
What happened to #2???? I fell cheated.
And by fell I mean feel.
I once became involved in an incredibly awkward, drawn out conversation with the Disney World Jasmine, regarding her various pets and her father's strictness. Based on that experience, I would recommend keeping your comments short and as vague as possible ;)
I am VERY GLAD there were no bed bugs. (Although it would have made for some... interesting future blog entries.)
I am kind of stunned that one can actually meet the Roaming Gnome. So I'm stumped as for appropriate gnome conversation.
Clearly you are not feeling well, what with the whole FORGETTING ABOUT #2!
BUDDY HOLLY! I see what you did there! (Also, it happens way less frequently than you think.)
OOOH! Tell him you loved his cameo in Amelie!
Have fun in the Big Apple, catch some zzz's for me too, will ya?
I have to say, replacing the Pringles was very smart of you. Also, there is a giant bedbug photo ad at the end of your post. Eeeek!
Ask the gnome about some of the most interesting bathrooms he's visited, and some of the scariest.
I actually have a roaming gnome. His name is Willard. You can see his adventures at:
http://www.gnomadic.org/
He lived out under a tree in our front yard and four years ago, when our first child was born, my brother-in-law visited his new nephew and also stole our gnome! He then set up a website and has sent our gnome all around the world with friends. I hope to get him back someday.
I'd ask him where he'd want to visit again--worth going back to. And also if Phil ever loses his cool.
Yum! NYC restaurants are great in all weather. Have fun.
And we always start our NYC adventures with a thorough bed bug check. Good times!
That is well deserved. I love getting away from the kids. Funny though once I passed having 2 kids anyone I used to be able to trick into taking them has vanished...crap!
So glad that someone else does the replacing items in the minibar thing. In my general worries about who I am as a person, one of the many has been about my propensity to do such things. Turns out that I am just cheap, or frugal. Depends on who you ask and how I'm feeling that day. Oh, and if you haven't checked my current inventory of shoes and purses.