I Wrote This Because I Don't Know What Else To Do With Myself

First of all, thank you for everybody who commented yesterday with ideas and suggestions and just plain old-fashioned reassurances about Noah's non-hunger strike. At this point, it seems like the kid just isn't hungry yet, with no underlying secondary health issue lurking in the shadows, because he is otherwise completely symptomless.  He'll nibble on pizza crusts and Cheerios here and there, then STILL run around like he's been pumped full of pixie stix and caffeine. 

For the record, I dropped a full 10 pounds during my own flu tussle the weekend before last, just because I had no appetite and couldn't smell anything so food tasted like paste for multiple goddamn days. I eventually just forced myself to eat the paste-food, what with the GROWING AND SUSTAINING OF LIFE side gig I've got going on, but since Noah has no secondary higher purpose like that, I'm guessing he just needs a little more time for the congestion to fully clear and give him his taste buds back. 

What's been great this winter -- and here you will fully see the low, low depths a mother will sink to in search of something she can describe as "great" -- is that Noah is finally really and truly verbal enough to TELL US THAT HE IS NOT FEELING WELL. He can even tell us SPECIFICALLY what hurts, or feels funny, or when the medicine wore off or when he'd like another hot towel on his ear. I mean, don't get me wrong, we still get our fair share of unrelated whining about how Mom's choice of television programming is making everything SO MUCH WORSE, EH-HHH-EEHHHH, but damn, it's nice to have at least one child who can be trusted to accurately report on whether his throat is sore or not, unlike Ezra, the two-year-old walking medical mystery who simply asks for his nose wiped no matter what the real complaint is, be it snot or a cough or a fever or probably even appendicitis. "HALP ME NOSE" is toddler-code for "SHIT IS MESSED UP. FIGURE IT OUT, WOMAN." 

Of course, not that Noah still isn't capable of being a complete oddball or anything. Popsicles were a popular suggestion for at least keeping him hydrated, but...the child is scared of popsicles. Won't even touch them. One time we made some together, using some fruit-and-yogurt recipe from a Highlights magazine that he became inexplicably entranced with, only to have him run away LITERALLY SCREAMING when I popped the finished result out of the freezer and offered it to him. MELTY COLDNESS. ON A STICK. AAAHHHHH IT'S ALL SO TERRIBLE. 

Well. Fine. More popsicles for me, then. 


Anyway. Moving on! To the newest member of our family of TOTAL FUCKING WEIRDOS, the fetus currently known as the Parasite. Or sometimes Ikea. (Long story, though one that has nothing to do with the place of conception, I ASSURE YOU.)

Tomorrow morning is The Ultrasound. I am quite literally vibrating with excitement right now, and viewing every hour that stands between me and The Ultrasound as a giant cock-blocking pain in the ass. I need to knoooooow. I need to finalize the naaaaaame. I need to buyyyyyy stuff. 

Actually, I don't, really. We took a trip to the Big Box Baby Store yesterday just for the hell of it, and I was kind of stunned by just how PREPARED we already are. Imagine that! And it only took us three pregnancies! 

But really, we have just about everything we could possibly need or want, and I remained shockingly unmoved by all the NEW & IMPROVED TECHNO-GADGET-Y MARVELS that have hit the market since Ezra's babyhood. I want to get a couple new Miracle Blankets, some smaller sized cloth diapers, and...uh, a safety rail for our bed. I know, right? Hold your horses, Miss Consumption Junction. Let's not get greedy or anything. 

Okay, we do need clothes. Jason thinks we'll only need girl clothes, if that's what The Ultrasound reveals, because I haven't told him about the "I'M NOT HAVING ANY MORE BABIES EVER" breakdown I secretly had when Ezra was about 14 months old and fatally injuring himself on a daily basis, which prompted me to bag up and donate literally EVERY STITCH of 0-12 month clothing we owned, save for the boys' home-from-the-hospital outfits and maybe one or two onesies. This was...some really great planning on my part, I realize this now. 

I TOLD Jason that I gave some stuff away, I did. I just don't think he's clear on the EXTENT of the giving away, and the fact that it all went to a friend of a friend of the babysitter's, so it's not even someone I can call up and ask for stuff back. POOF. I did real good work there, yes. 

For the record, I did keep an entire drawer's worth of cheap burp rags. So. At least the kid can spend his/her days puking on those, instead of on actual clothing. By your third baby, this is simply known as Streamlining. 

So. Anyway. Today is the last day for daydreaming and gender predictions, I suppose, provided the baby cooperates tomorrow morning. I know no one else is as invested in this as me (AND WHY NOT, YOU INGRATES), but oh my God, I cannot wait to tell you the news, once we know.  


The Domestic Goddess

Heck, by the third one,don't most people just put them in a diaper and a teeshirt? that's all you need. And a blanket, in case they shiz out of their diaper, and you can wrap them in that and ALL BETTER!


And we can't wait to hear!

Have you thought about trying Noah on popsicles again? He's made so many changes lately...
Remind Jason that BABIES POO. AND SPIT UP. So even if it was the cutest clothing in the world, it would be toast by your third bambino.

*twiddling thumbs*
don't you have any news YET???

Pinkie Bling

WHATEVER, I am SUPER EXCITED to find out!! SEE HOW CAPSY I AM ABOUT IT?? Please please post as soon as you can tomorrow!


Oh Amy, we are SO VERY invested in this beleive me! Or at least I am! I'm dying to know!


This made me laugh out loud! I love it!

Can't wait for the post tomorrow!!!!


You are NOT the only one on pins and needles for this ultrasound. I'm 34 weeks myself and all the pregnancies around me (including the ones of my virtual friends) are so amazingly personal to me right now! So I am wishing you a stress-free day and a good night's sleep and a very short wait at the doctor's office. I also hope your little peanut is in a showy mood. Mine kept a hand blocking the view for the first 15 minutes - which made it obvious that it was a boy - and it is. Anxiously awaiting your exciting news!!!


Eh, by the third, everything is stained by puke or poop that you need to buy new stuff. Plus (and people don't consider this part), baby three is a WHOLE season off from the two big brothers there.

That totally screwed me up until the younger child was two, then he had to be a peanut in comparison. Imagine opening a 4T box of clothes when your kid is starting kindergarten and trying to convince him to wear the cute Teletubbies overalls (okay, so that's dated, let's replace it with Yo Gabba Gabba). Dude, FIVE years old and asking him to wear toddler show themed apparel! You wouldn't do that, would you?

Oh, and my sister's gender scan (and amnio results) are tomorrow, too. We'll find out if they're about to embark on renovation hell or they can relax until the baby is a toddler and totally getting into the decidedly over 3 year old age range toys in his brothers' bedroom.


I'm excited to hear too! Also, I CANNOT WAIT for James to be able to tell us what is wrong. We have a ways to go, as he can't even walk yet, but I'm still looking forward to it.


My husband also doesn't know that I donated pretty much all our daughter's clothes along with some toys and other baby items a few months ago. There aren't any plans for another baby any time soon, but I pray that when we have one it is a boy or else I'll singlehandedly be the one buying all replacement clothes.


I'm so excited! You make such adorable little boys another one would be just as adorable... BUT a little girl would be beautiful! Can't wait for your post tomorrow and a beautiful, healthy baby!


Oh the joy of a child who will tell you they hurt!! I clearly remember the first time my oldest daughter told me that something hurt - she was four!! Until then, it was just scream for two seconds then completely forget about whatever it was, even as we were trying to figure it out.


Very invested here. I will take it as a personal insult from the Universe to me if you become outnumbered by yet another boy.
Should it be another boy, I'll be as delighted and mushed-over by photos and anecdotes as am I by his brothers ;)


We have three and my youngest is 18 months...I gave all our baby (girl AND boy) clothes away to my sister and her friend because everyone stops at three, right? Except I am now actively campaigning for a fourth.


OMG. WAITING!!!!! We are all dying here! What if it's a girl?? What if it's another boy?? AAAiiiieeeeee!!!


This morning, the obnoxiously loud guy (with a tendency to over share) at work announced that “the new kid showed her junk yesterday, and it is definitely a freakin girl…and I knew it was going to be a girl because we have a boy and that’s how things like this work.”

So there you go. Now you know how things work.


I cannot wait either! I'll be refreshing Google Reader constantly! Hope the baby cooperates!


I can't wait to hear tomorrow!

I have three (boy, girl, boy), and when I pulled out the newborn boy stuff for baby #3 I couldn't believe how little came out of the box NOT totally covered in spit up stains. Gross. So that baby wore the little side snap t-shirts and a cloth diaper for two months straight (summer baby). Then, I figured that my October boy hand me downs would work for my July boy. Not so much, especially because we moved to a place with a slightly different climate in between. So each time #3 moves up in size, I'm scouring the sale rack at Target because "Oh no! All our 6 month stuff is summery! We need winter stuff." I figure once he hits 2T or so and stops growing like a damn weed, hand me downs will work out for once.


Also, we are moving again (I know!) in June, and my husband is bugging me to go through the outgrown baby stuff to donate before we move. What he doesn't know is that I secretly want #4, even though I already agreed we were done. Whoops. If you saw my squishy, happy 6 month old, you'd want #4 too though...


YIPEEEE!!! Tomorrow is my day too!!! Girl dust for both of us!!!


I'm excited to find out. Because if YOURS is a girl, then it IS POSSIBLE for the third to be a girl, and since I already have two boys and would like a girl next time, this would be another checkmark in the win column for "knock me up again, mister".

I also gave away all 0-12 month clothes when my youngest was just over a year old. Also the crib, the stroller, the carseat... Convinced I would never have another. CONVINCED. Now I have to factor in the cost of replacing everything when I talk to hubby about wanting just one more.


I'm so jealous of your appointment tomorrow. I've been following you for about a year and as it turns out, we're due in about the same week.

I just got back from my doctor's office, where they told me that...



... appointment was canceled because my Ob/gyn is having surgery... on her wrist (which is not confidence inspiring)...
And I don't even know if she was going to show me whether we're looking at a taco or sausage fest! So I took a whole day off from work for this appointment (and another which isn't canceled, but might as well be) and I get to take another half day in a week and I still don't know if this silent bugger in my abdomen is a boy, girl or monkey. I shall have to live vicariously through you for the next week.

I have the feeling that you're having boy, but secretly hope you have a little girl - just to throw a wrench in your line-up. Is that wrong?


My guess has been girl since day 1 ;)


Are you a member of your local Freecycle group? People post baby clothes on there constantly (at least in my group).


I'm guessing it's a boy, but we won't know until tomorrow. :)


If popsicles won't work, Pedialyte makes freezer pops (the kind in a tube, like GoGurt) and they can be squooshed out into a cup and slurped like Slurpee.

Also, medicine can be mixed in with them, post-squoosh :)

AND omgomgomgomg hurry UP already and go get this ultrasound ACK! (Have fun tomorrow, get rest tonight if you can, and don't forget to post results soonish. You know, like, from the table while they are toweling goo off you. I *think* we can wait that long. Maybe.)

Jenn H

While I am not as "invested" as you are in your own offspring, I am super duper excited to hear the news tomorrow because deep down, I'm wishing and hoping that you get to surprise us all with a "It's a GIRL!" announcement. :)
I had two girls and then was happily surprised to find out our third was a boy. I love, love, love our girls-- they are so much fun!-- but having a mix-up in the line-up has made #3 absolutely incredible.

Either way, I hope all gos well tomorrow....


My 6 yr old has us take her temperature everyday. Not because she feels bad, but apparently she thinks fevers might SNEAK UP ON HER!


I did the same thing..gave most of the baby clothes and gear away before having our third child. Only it is worse because I have an older boy and girl. I should have been totally set, but not so much. We restocked on the cheap. Thank you garage sales and Craig's list.


I can't wait to hear!!


I love that everyone is so excited about your upcoming news! :) I'm glad you share your journey with your internet community too!

I'm sure you know this already, but bumGenius is discontinuing their sized AIO - $10 a pop. Still lots of smalls left...I'm trying to talk myself out of buying smalls for my (definitely not imminent or even planned) second child. I'd love to hear your CD plans for #3! Converting to snaps? New brands? Inquiring minds need to know!


I can't WAIT!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited to you. I have three boys (two pregnancies- my oldest son is 17 months older than our "surprise identical twins" who are now 18 months old.) I occasionally daydream about having another baby. maybe. sorta.


Kate already beat me to it, but my sister (who lives in VA, greater DC area, so sort of near you as far as I can tell) manages to get clothes for her 2 kids (boys, 5 and 22 months) via sites like Freecycle and Craigslist.

Good luck tomorrow! Hope you're able to see what you want to see, and know what you want to know. My DIL couldn't at the 20-week mark, and had to wait to have another US later.


No one else as invested as you? Do you know your readership at all??? We expect live tweeting from the ultrasound table and will accept nothing less.


I am very excited about your ultrasound! I am also in super baby/nesting mode and alternate between doing stuff in the nursery and needing to sit down and therefore reading 0-40 compulsively. :)

I love that you made me crack up at the potential horrors of having children instead of running away. "halp me nose" had me and my husband laughing really hard.


My niece also had an unexplainable fear of frozen food on a stick. We had success sliding the Popsicle off the stick & broken up into a bowl (she never knew it was a dreaded Popsicle) also had luck with freezepops - squeezed out of the tube into a dish & eaten with a spoon. She called it 'ice soup'!


What are you talking about, I'M ON PINS AND NEEDLES!!!!!!!!!!


I can't wait to find out what you are having!!!

PopMommy Pam

Oh wow, you have totally taken me back to that day-before-the-ultrasound feeling. It's so awesome. Enjoy your last day of wonder and I can't wait to check back tomorrow.

PopMommy Pam

PS - I STILL can not understand NOT wanting to know. It would drive me mad!! :)


Come on, you know we can'T WAIT to hear either! I'm preparing myself for the probability of a boy announcement so as not to feel terribly disappointed ;)


Oh, I am jealous. I have 13 days (not that I'm counting, or crossing every day off the calendar at night) until our ultrasound. I have two friends who are convinced I'm having a girl after three boys. I asked them what their girl pregnancies were like, compared to their boy pregnancies, and they admitted they were a LOT sicker with the girls than the boys. I said, "Ha, suckers. I had exactly the same amount of puking this time around, maybe less. Thhhpppt."

No, I didn't say that. I admit that a large of me would love this to be a boy. I have all the boy clothes (if i had tossed everything my husband would have divorced me), our house is full of boy playthings and we literaly have NO ROOM for a Princess Playhouse Beauty Shoppe, okay? God, are you listening?


One thing you should consider getting is this:

I have no affiliation with this product at all, except that every single time I give it as a present, the parents (yes, dads too) love it. And I get not just the initial "thank you" as they unwrap it, but a few weeks after baby-kins is born I get "THANK YOU". Honestly, it is great!


I kept everything from baby #1, and since we didn't know the sex, we have plenty of neutral NB-6 month clothing. The only problem here is that Girlie was born in November and #2 is due late April. I don't think there'll be much call for footed fleece sleepers in June.

Heather (motherAWESOME)

I don't think I've told you how much I enjoy your blog yet, so here it is: I really enjoy your blog. I have nothing else useful to say, so... there's that.

E @ Oh! Apostrophe

I totally want to know! And I totally think you should get to buy new STUFF. Every baby needs STUFF STUFF STUFF!!!


Fingers crossed for cooperation from the parasite!


I'M DYING TO KNOW! I have two boys and my Big Ultrasound is next Tuesday. Seven more days of waiting seems rough, so I'm using your life to break it up a little. Thanks!!


Woohoo! Excited to hear the news right there along with you!


We want to know. Believe me we want to know. To be fair, probably NOT as much as you because, y'know, it's actually YOUR baby. But we definitely want to know!

Heather Ben


haha - i literally laughed out load. So true!

Looking forward to the news as well.

Suzy Q

Squee! Can't wait to hear.


Pedialyte now makes singles, in juice boxes. My sons' pediatrician was giving them away the other day. Will Noah drink from a juice box?

Here is the link:

Good luck tomorrow! I hope the baby cooperates and I can't wait to hear your exciting news- girl OR boy!


Not invested in this pregnancy - who are you talking about?! We're ALL holding our breaths waiting for this news. Tomorrow is going to be A VERY EXCITING DAY all over the blogosphere ;-)


Can't wait, can't wait, can't wait!!!


Whoo hoo- best of luck tomorrow! Here's hoping baby cooperates!

Have you checked out My sister lives in your area and has great luck with it even for baby clothes!


omg im SOOOO excited are you kidding me??? Weeeeeeeeee! Can you post while they are still doing the ultrasound??? lol

Rebecca Crawford

My coworker's story of her third time going into labor:

"I was at my sister's baby shower eating and I said, 'Oh, I'm in labor.' They told me to go to the hospital, and I said, 'No, let me finish eating first.' I finished eating, went home, took a shower, put on clean clothes, and then I went to the hospital."

Yeah, so that's what I think of now when I think of your pregnancy.

Good luck tomorrow!

Amy @ binkytowne

I'm completely serious- if he's a boy email me & I'll send you some adorable baby boy clothes. Then when Jason acts like he's never seen them before just cry and blame the hormones & you'll be all golden.


Looking forward to hearing your news!


I think it is kind of funny that you think nobody else is as interested in The Ulrasound as you! WE ALL WANT TO KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Hope the baby spreads the legs! :)

The Other Elle

Counting the hours...

Right about now, I wish you lived in Europe. 'Cause then it would be later in the day and you would already KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

And so would we!


hey it's tomorrow already! can't wait to see the results of the ultrasound!

love the 'HALP ME NOSE'!!! my 2.5 yr old daughter shouts, 'BOOOOOOGGGGEEEEEEEYYYY' and her twin brother says quietly, 'I no sick. I no go doctor.'


So I'm an avid reader but not a commenter, usually, but had to share: I am 9 wks pregnant and had my very first baby dream last night. ABOUT YOUR BABY. Seriously. My first baby dream consisted of me sitting at my computer, refreshing your blog every 3 seconds and anxiously awaiting your news. I am so lame. But SO EXCITED TOO!

Katie Kat



Why am I typing in all caps? You've worn off on me Amy! Good luck tomorrow - here's hoping Parasite/Ikea cooperates. And, like most people here, I'm secretly sending GIRL GIRL GIRL vibes to you! (*fingers crossed*)


Good luck today! Can't wait to hear the news. :) Have fun!


I love that you are calling the new little one "Ikea." I still think of Ezra as "Tivo." Is that bad?


i've taken to refreshing every 15 minutes or so......yes, i am at work. lol...



Re: Noah's fear of popsicles. Maybe Noah has sensitive teeth? Or he thinks it's improper ice cream? I had a holy fear of ice creams on sticks when I was little because they were so frozen they'd stick onto my tongue (popsicles too). As for ice cream on bowls I would guzzle it happily because there wasn't ever that problem.


I seriously cannot take it anymore. We NEED an update. I'm even checking your Twitter.

I'm due in April and husband convinced me to have a delivery room surprise, so I'm living vicariously through you, ok?


I am also dying for THE BIG UPDATE! :)


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