1. While I cannot sufficiently EXPLAIN what is going on here, I am also not in the least bit surprised.
I mean, that's a toilet paper roll holder. What did you expect? Toilet paper? Bitch, please.
2. Despite a rumored, God-given ability to AIM, I do not personally believe it.
(photo of general toilet vicinity not included for the sake of human dignity and/or lunchtime, but SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS, it's not like they're expected to pee into a narrow little test tube here. IT'S A BIG OVALISH ROUND THING THAT I JUST CLEANED YESTERDAY GAAAAH.)
3. Some days, you are just going to feel like you are up to your eyeballs in boy bits. Some of these days may overlap with Laundry Day.
I'm sorry, but if you actually see an excavator on the first try, instead of, I DON'T KNOW, a pair of giant dangling yellow testicles, you are a better person than I am.
Or maybe you have daughters.