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December 2010
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February 2011

I'm Not Dead Yet

It's been a bleak couple days...scratch that, it's more like five days now...around here. We're all finally through the worst of it, I think. Kind of. I'm wearing actual pants today, at least. Jason and I came down with...whatever the unholy hell this was...on Thursday, while the boys held off until Sunday, but it's not like Jason and I were feeling any BETTER by Sunday, if anything we felt worse, since that was our solid third day of on-off fevers and hacking up lungs and headaches and congestion and basically having all of the strength of a pair of newborn, whiny-ass kittens. Oh. And then our television -- the good one, the not-at-all-old one, the TiVo-DVD-gaming-systems-connected one broke. Just: Poof. Pfft. Kaput. Right? It's downright unconstitutional, if you ask me. I called my OB on Friday once I realized that I was possibly suffering from the flu and not a cold, and he gave me a horribly unsatisfactory line-up of drug options, none of which did a single blessed goddamn thing, and eventually I gave up on taking them altogether and have essentially been self-medicating with nothing more than water, saline spray, Chapstick and moaning. (And yes, GOOGLE, I'm aware... Read more →

Tomorrow, Tomorrow

Last week, the oncologist told my dad that it was officially time to stop the chemo. It still wasn't working. There was no reason to believe it would ever start working, now that he'd somehow soldiered on through three months of it, only to have the leukemia progress virtually unimpeded in the meantime. My dad said, "Okay, now what do we try?" Tomorrow, "we" try a different chemo with a different drug. A drug my mom won't even tell me the name of, because she doesn't want me to Google it. Today, I had an entirely different post saved in draft that I planned to publish. Today was always supposed to my the next entry in the series for the American Cancer Society More Birthdays campaign, and last week I decided to take a crack at getting that post written and out of the way ahead of time. "Last week," as in: "probably the day before that oncologist appointment, yeah, good timing, self." It wasn't a bad draft, or poorly timed or completely irrelevant -- I mean, when you're writing about your father dying of cancer, there are only so many shades of emotion or variations on not-exactly-good-news you can... Read more →

A Pregnant Woman's Ultimate Dream TV Wish List

Or, A List of TV Shows That Don't Actually Exist Yet, But Totally Should Or Or, Why I Should Be In Charge of a Television Network Already Or Or Or, Why I Should Probably Never Be In Charge of a Television Network This post is brought to you by XFINITY from Comcast. Watch all your favorite shows from anywhere with XFINITY TV. The views expressed here are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of Comcast or its partners. MAN V. (PREGNANT LADY) FOOD In which Adam Richman is challenged to explore and partake of some the craziest, weirdest pregnancy cravings from across the country. Forget pickles and chocolate ice cream, we're talking the seriously gross stuff you eat right out of the fridge when no one's home, like bologna-wrapped summer sausage or black olives dipped in pudding. Got a secret desire for a Wendy's Frosty using barbecue Pringles instead of a spoon? The ever-adorable Adam won't judge, he'll join in and declare it delicious. And in fact, you look so good and pretty and maternal right now, why don't you go ahead and order another one, super-sized this time? A BABY STORY SUPERCUT Takes... Read more →

1. While I cannot sufficiently EXPLAIN what is going on here, I am also not in the least bit surprised. I mean, that's a toilet paper roll holder. What did you expect? Toilet paper? Bitch, please. 2. Despite a rumored, God-given ability to AIM, I do not personally believe it. (photo of general toilet vicinity not included for the sake of human dignity and/or lunchtime, but SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS, it's not like they're expected to pee into a narrow little test tube here. IT'S A BIG OVALISH ROUND THING THAT I JUST CLEANED YESTERDAY GAAAAH.) 3. Some days, you are just going to feel like you are up to your eyeballs in boy bits. Some of these days may overlap with Laundry Day. I'm sorry, but if you actually see an excavator on the first try, instead of, I DON'T KNOW, a pair of giant dangling yellow testicles, you are a better person than I am. Or maybe you have daughters. Read more →

New Year, Same Crap, Now With Bonus CAPS LOCK

So. 2011. Another year, another realization that I missed my own blog's anniversary about a month or so ago...Thanksgiving-ish? December if we're waiting until I actually started posting anything other than entries that said stuff like TESTING TESTING IS THIS THING ON HA HA IT'S A BLOG BUT I'M TREATING IT LIKE A MICROPHONE OMG I AM LIKE THE MOST ORIGINAL PERSON TO EVER FIGURE OUT HOW TO ACCESS THE INTERNET? Anyway. Here I am, about to embark on my EIGTH YEAR of blogging, and I feel like the first entry of 2011 should be a good one. An important one. I should at least attempt to spell things mostly correctly. And I should have a really, really good topic. THINGS THAT ARE NOT GOOD TOPICS, PROBABLY 1) Bitching about the person who is selling a set of bunk beds on Craigslist for $150 yet has not responded to my email about wanting to buy said bunk beds. Which means they either enjoy keeping me in suspense OR they have already sold the bunk beds to someone else, someone else who does not DESERVE THEM like I do, who will not LOVE THEM like I will, so FINE, bunk-bed seller... Read more →