From the Boy Who Brought You "Fuckles"
Almost Bed Rest, But Not Quite

It's Like Winning the Lottery Only More Contagious-Like

Because I am pretty sure this pregnancy JUST WON'T COUNT without at least one unwarranted, after-hours trip to Labor & Delivery, I went and diagnosed myself with pre-eclampsia last night and called my doctor's answering service in a panic. 

I'd had a headache all day that was getting worse by the hour, and I was feeling increasingly woozy and tired and out-of-it. My body was a mess of weirdly unspecific aches and pains in my back and sides and shoulders and maybe my abdomen or maybe my uterus, I don't know, it just allll hurts, and I was having these really ridiculously violent coughing fits where I would basically cough until I threw up. By the time I realized I was ALSO running a fever, I was convinced that I was dying of pre-eclampsia or HELLP syndrome or an acksploded gallbladder or something else bad and awful and very dramatic, I am sure

The on-call doctor returned my call, listened patiently to my moaning and agreed that the headache in particular was disconcerting. I put on my shoes and made a mid-air thumb-wrestling gesture to Jason that completely baffled him, even though I don't know HOW it could have been clearer that I wanted him to text our babysitter to find out if she could come back and watch the boys because WE were going to the hospital. I mean, DUH. 

Then the doctor asked me a couple other questions and it was my turn to be baffled, because she was asking about things that were totally NOT on any pre-eclampsia checklist I'd ever read on the Internet, and I'd totally read at least five or six that day, but I answered them anyway while mentally assessing the hospital-ready state of my underwear. 

"Yeah...I'm pretty confident it's NOT pre-eclampsia. I'm actually gonna say that sounds an awful lot like the flu," the doctor said. 

"Ohhhhh," I said. "Yeah. Now that you say that..."

And then: "But I already HAD the flu. In JANUARY. And it's APRIL. How do you get the flu in APRIL? For the SECOND TIME? And...and..."

"Yeah," she responded. "That's some really lousy luck. Lemme call in a prescription for Tylenol with codeine for you."

In summary: 

Photo

Wake me up in June, maybe, fuck this, the end. 

Comments

Angie @ Musings of a Violet Monkey

Awww... That is some really shitty luck.
Feel better soon!

~

Life of a Doctor's Wife

Awwww! That is the absolute PITS. I hope it's a very speedy flu that skeedaddles right quick.

I don't know why I'm talking like this. Just: Feel better soon!

Elizabeth

Hope you feel better soon! :)

Kristin

Damn, that's some fucking awful luck. Hope you feel better soon.

Amelia Sprout

Damn, that sucks. Feel better soon. Pregnant/sick sucks the most ass, because you can't take anything good.

Danell

Hey, I've had the same shitty flu-luck this year! Yay for us! Well, 'cept I'm not eight months pregnant and on any other emotional roller coasters. Feel better soon.

(Definitely we should try the lottery, though...because really, HOW does one get lucky enough to get the flu in January AND April? ESPECIALLY if one went out of their way to get a flu shot at the beginning of flu season?)

Kacie

Oh man...that sucks. I am sorry. :( Fell better soon Mama!

Amy Beth

Probably from all your stresses. Poor thing. So sorry bb *hugs*

kellyhere

Oh, that sucks! Wishing you the speediest of recoveries. I second the motion on buying a lottery ticket - your luck is sure to turn around sometime.

SarahB

In summary, that adrenaline that's been keeping you afloat not only stopped but dropped you like a ton of bricks. Stupid immune systems. I'm sorry.

jen

That really sucks; I was pregnant with the flu in Dec. and it really is just miserable. Feel better.

Also, your bedding is great and compliments your hair color. I am wondering why I never considered hair color when picking out bedding. I'm going to go do that now.

Rachel

Awesome pic! I could use a similar one as my facebook profile pic. =) Feel better soon!

Roberta

Yeah, fuck that fucking shit. Fucking flu. Fucking feel better soon.

Petey

Wow. You just CAN NOT catch a break!

yolanda vasquez

Yeah, wtf!!! It's April.
My whole house has not just a cold- the flu.
Oh, and throw in an ear infection and mild pneumonia. I'm right there with you with the middle finger!

Txtingmrdarcy

Hey! On the bright side, be glad it's NOT pre-eclampsia/ackploded gallbladder/etc....

Sorry, trying to be a little Mary Fucking Sunshine over here. Just so that you'd have something else to give the finger to. ;)

Dawn

Dude, seriously? TWO FLUS in one season? Maybe your just stocking up on shitty luck credits and can cash them in sometime in the future, say the high school years? Or the OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT SMELL years? Because I might be tempted to make that trade. Might. With a side of probably not.

Karen

Being sick when you're pregnant sucks. Royally. Especially when it's a coughing sickness and your lungs are already compressed thanks to Junior in there.

For me, the only upside to being sick when pregnant is it somehow puts my thrombocytopenia in remission, so my platelet count goes up, rather than down, as it usually does during pregnancy. So every time I have a runny nose when pregnant, my husband says, "Yaaay! Less chance of you bleeding out during labor!" Thanks, dear.

Jen L.

That sucks ye olde arse! Feel better soon!

Katie

Hey, we haven't had an 'Amy's middle-finger' picture in a while now! For some reason I seem to remember one from your pregnancy with Noah (I believe the picture was of you at your old office job desk) and a comment left by somebody complementing your pregnancy-induced beautiful nails. So I will second that comment from way back when and say cheer up! At least you get to have strong nails and beautiful hair! :-)))

lisa

when this is all said and done. I will ship you a big ol box of wine and chocolate because dammit you deserve it!

Chris

Ugh, so sorry. That sounds awful. However, your trip to the hospital was wise; pre-eclampsia is a nasty, sneaky little bastard that can arrive quickly. I had a similar freak-out that was actually just really bad swelling and a headache. Aaaaand then I developed pre-e post-partum. You can't be too careful with pre-e! Hope you feel better soon.

Julie

Ugh. the flu? that jerk.

The Mommy Therapy

I hate that your pain is so funny...that picture rocks though.

I also can't believe your husband didn't understand what thumbs up means. Isn't this your third kid? Weird.

I hope you feel better soon and you don't have the flu again for at least 3 months.

HereWeGoAJen

I get sick when I am stressed. I'd say that you've had enough stress lately to catch a few strains of the flu.

Maxine Dangerous

Feel better, bella. :)

Plano Mom

Prayers, somewhere along the lines of "give her a freakin break, would ya please?"

Kristi

I've unfortunately have had HELLP. You are lucky it is only the flu. : )

Judy

Man, if it weren't for bad luck, you'd have no luck at all! I hope it turns around soon and you give birth to a potty-trained baby who sleeps through the night from Day One. I'd bring you some of this homemade split pea soup with Italian bread to dunk in it, but I'm in Florida and it'd get cold before I could get there. Feel better, sweetie.

Bridges

WTF? Want me to bring you double-dipped wings?

Avitable

I guess in places other than Florida, there is weather conducive to the flu. It's hard to get sick in 80 degree beautiful weather, though. ;)

Rebekah

I know you don't feel good and things have been uber shitty as of late but I have to say that is a really cute photo of you. You're a cutie patoot.

Britt

Fuck the flu. I think I like the doctor, though.

I also like this: "I hate that your pain is so funny."

alimartell

that picture totally says it all.
UGH. So sorry that you are sick. AGAIN.
xoxo

Christina

Wait! What the hell!? You can take Tylenol with Codeine? Why didn't anyone give that to ME when I went in with my raging headache last week! Ugh! Totally feel your pain. Hope you get better soon!

Ann

feel better soon Amy!!!

Chris

As someone who had both preeclampsia and HELLP, thank the good Lord above it's the flu. Flu sucks for a week. Pre-e sucks for your whole damn pregnancy.

rachel Schuh

I hope you feel better soon! It so sucks when you are not pregnant let alone prego. :(

Jennifer

I love you, and that's not just the Southern Comfort talking. Feel better.

Lori McBride

awwww man!! :0( That sucks donkey balls. Praying you feel better REALLY, really, REALLY, soon!

Nan

I am glad to hear that you will recover from this soon. Maybe you will get the rest you need now. Great picture.

Nan

I am glad to hear that you will recover from this soon. Maybe you will get the rest you need now. Great picture.

JMS

Aw, that stinks. It's better than some of the alternatives, but still. Feel better soon.

I really can only imagine the diseases I'll diagnose myself with if I'm ever pregnant. This week alone, thanks to some odd symptoms, I've "had" appendicitis, gallstones, stomach flu, and West Nile virus.

Patti B.

Sorry you feel like ass :(
But! I love your ring! :)
Feel better soon!

Shannon

Sorry you are feeling crappy. Drink more water. I tell everyone that no matter what is wrong with them. Leg fell off, just drink more water! Get better! S

Virginia

Not fair. Get better soon. Bless the doc on call for that tylenol with codeine - maybe you'll sleep a little.

kat

I've never been so sick in my life as I was while gestating our third child. My body was all, ENOUGH ALREADY. Take care and hang in there.

Amy in StL

I've often wondered if doctor's take a "how to deal with teh google" class. Twice this month I've been to a doctor for something and been told that it's something normal (Plantar fasciitis in one case and tendonitis in the other) and I'm not getting ready to lose an appendage or suffering from some pain that no-one else has had. It makes me want to put Dr. Google in a corner to think about what he's done.

Feel better - sleep is always good with codeine!

MargieK

The flu sucks, for sure -- even more while pregnant.

But it's way better than pre-eclampsia, HELLP, or a gallbladder acksplosion (of course you knew that... just trying to put a positive spin on a crappy situation).

Here's something that will make you feel better, all the cute "brothers" pictures in PioneerWoman's photo contest this week:
http://thepioneerwoman.com/photography/2011/04/your-brother-photos-group-4/
http://thepioneerwoman.com/photography/2011/04/your-brother-photos-group-3/
http://thepioneerwoman.com/photography/2011/04/your-brother-photos-group-2/
http://thepioneerwoman.com/photography/2011/04/your-brother-photos-group-1/

Or go to her flickr group and see everyone's submissions:
http://www.flickr.com/groups/pwphotoassignments/

It isn't too late to submit one of your own two cuties. :)

Colet

Nice finger action. For years I did it the wrong way -- until my husband pointed out that I gave the finger without the balls. I now do it exactly right, as demonstrated by your righteous self there.

Careful, though: used mine today on the 495/270 merge in bumper to bumper traffic and the guy parked his car, got out, and started shouting profanity at me in my minivan. But it's the price I am willing to pay for a properly executed finger.

So, enough about me [it's never enough...and you don't even know me] -- When are you going to pull out of this nosedive shitmonth?

Jen.

It's not really a consolation, but the current strain of influenza that's goin' round is NOT in this year's flu shot. I know; I had it and was tested, since I had my shot.

Heal quickly!

linka72

Boooo Flu..I actually did have preeclampsia the other day..or something close..and spent 4 hours getting the fucking hell squeezed out of my arm by that blood pressure machine thing..it is the Devil.

Ellen

Thats mother fing hilarious. I dont miss the pregnant crazies! Good luck. Feel better!

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