The Third-Time-Around Hospital Bag
Swing Low Sweet Crazy Person

37 Weeks

I feel like I'm at That Point already, where I need to check in at least every day with some kind of NO BABY YET alarm. Even though I'm still technically three weeks away from the dead last of my assorted due dates. (June 5th. Though May 30th and June 2nd also have reasonably good chances of being correct. Take your pick.) 

But oh, my lands, my uterus is getting SO GOOD at this Big Tease routine, to the point that I'm actually waking up each morning a little surprised to still be pregnant. Yesterday I started getting contractions at the farmer's market (which was just SO VERY hippie Earth Mother of me, don't you think?), every 20 minutes, like clockwork. They continued during a trip to the playground, throughout an ENTIRE reenactment of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, as performed by Noah And A Bunch Of Kids He Just Met Who Were Happy To Be Bossed Around By Mr. Noah B. DeMille, and back at home, during a few loads of laundry and nesting business and standing up AND lying down AND more water AND ALSO several furtive helpings of Easter candy. It was all starting to feel...genuinely exhausting and hard work in and of itself, like...hmmm, YOU COULD ALMOST CALL IT LABOR, but I was able to take a short nap in the middle of them. 

When I woke up, the contractions were still going strong. Stronger, actually. And 10 minutes apart.


The excitement continued until the contractions decided to...stop. Just...stop. Back down to zero, nothing, no baby for you. Because of course. After all that work and recategorization of several hospital bag items, why should there be any POINT to any of it? 

(Jason: So what's it gonna take before you ever dare to call the doctor again?)

(Me: Crowning, probably. Up until that happens I am assuming everything is just gas.)

Anyway. Here is what I look like today. Still pregnant, still weirdly and unintentionally dressing in colors that blend into our beige-y walls, huh. And my skin. STILL LIFE IN FLESH TONES. 


The basketball is getting a little watermelon-y, I think.


My belly button never turned inside out, this time. It just stretched itself into a flat sort of non-existance, where I look like I never had a belly button in the first place. If this were a sci-fi film that would probably be your cue to destroy me. 



You are so beautiful!!!! Can't wait until we get to hear the name! I know he's going to be so adorable :)

Shannnon @nwaMotherlode

My sister's third baby, Hudson, kept teasing her with contractions JUST LIKE THAT. I'm about three hours away and I was a freaking nervous wreck every time wondering if I should jump in the car. She wanted me to just come already several times, but they ended up having to induce. You just nevah know.


my belly button never popped out, either - it just got folded and squashed flat. I should have put a flower or something in there to be pressed.


You look amazing. Seriously, there are no words. You look like you're managing everything perfect and just decided to grow a baby in the middle of all of it.


Just wanted to say how jealous I am of how damn good you look at 37 weeks. My legs had swollen to twice their size and my feet were gargantuan sausages. I'm still looking at your dainty feet with envy and it's been two years since I had my June baby (disclosure - my feet are dainty again and the swelling did go away after a couple weeks postpartum- just still haunted by pregnant Hobbit feet).

Jess - daysgoby

My brother in law (who is a man of few words) ran a small store while I was pregnant. Both times, he made an index card with the words

and taped it to the counter.
Then, when anyone asked, he would point to the card.


You look better at 37 weeks than I ever did at 24 weeks! Oh, and do not apologize for the flesh/beige wall tones. I walked around during both pregnancies with the tinged green look. I looked like an alien. I would have prayed to blend in, if I had not been absorbed in trying not to barf in embarrassing places.

Katie Kat

Yer just so dang cute Amy! The other day at our garage sale a woman was there, pregnant at 9 weeks, and she was about as big as you are now. Can you IMAGINE what she'll look like at 37 weeks??? Oh my... hang in there and KEEP POSTING (hourly updates if anything big happens please, cuz, ya know, it's more important than, I dunno, GIVING BIRTH!)


I stopped answering my phone at all at 3 weeks out. I then changed my mailbox message to a brief and to the point "No baby yet." If you were part of a very special in crowd you new I was screening and left a short message. My MIL's casual "let me casually make up a reason to be calling you that is totally not baby related at all but I was wondering..." was answered exactly as she wanted it without made up chitchat.

I am continually amazed and delighted by how much you choose to share with us, I turned into a hermit while pregnant. It is really nice checking in on your journey. Take care, you look fantastic!


Wow, Amy, you truly make being "hugely pregnant" look incredibly trim, tiny and adorable. You look great!

And, you're right about the daily postings :-) I keep expecting to see a post with your Big News any day!!


Noah B. DeMille. Awesome.

Amy jo

Yay belly! In my third and fourth pregnancies I had early labor symptoms for daaaaaaays before I actually delivered. My midwife said it was because the uterus is less toned after each pregnancy and takes a little longer to get going good and proper. Good luck!


I am 25 days into the 30-Day Shred for the 3rd or 4th time, and your thighs make mine look like slabs of raw chicken fat. Seriously, your thighs are SCULPTED!!!!! I am envious and vowing to actually do those jumping lunges Jillian talks about, instead of making fun of the poor schmucks hopping around on the screen. Love reading the updates, and keep 'em coming!!


You still have EASTER CANDY at your house? Ours was gone by Easter Monday morning.

anne nahm

My big 'hold hands' too. My husband thinks its cute and pointed it out to me one day, otherwise I never would have notice. So. You know. Passing that gift along. Your toes hold hands!

anne nahm

Er, word deletion. That would be my big *toes* hold hands. 'cuz otherwise that might read kinda creepy.


Last line of this post FTW. You sneaky monster, you.

That's one reason why your blog has the dubious distinction of being the one of two (along with Jenny the Bloggess) that my husband will let me read to him even if he knows ahead of time what I'm reading from.


You still look great! And LMAO at the last line.

Do you want to "last," so to speak, until the actual due date, or, it doesn't matter at this point..? I'll send you some general good vibes, either way~!


And so begins Baby Watch 2011! It's such a weird world we live in...checking a stranger's blog everyday to see if she's had her baby!? I usually read you via feed reader, but today I decided I'd better start visiting your site itself (daily, of course). So, thanks for checking in! :)


you're gorgeous!! and ugh! the teasing labor? soooo been there. not fun. hope your little man makes his arrival soon :)


Girl, didn't you know? Flesh-tone is all the rage this Spring! :)

You look amazing!

Big Gay Sam

aww.. you look so precious. :D


Your 'bump' still looks pretty high to me. 'Bump' doesn't really cover something that big. Fundus, I believe was the word?


I could never figure out if I was in labor or not with my 3rd baby either. Apparently what I thought were braxton-hicks were the real thing. Imagine my surprise when I was fully dilated when I got to the hospital and out he came in 20 minutes! I'm just glad he wasn't born in the car!!!


So cute!


You look great, Amy! Such a shame this will be your last baby. You not only make pregnancy look adorable, but you make ridiculously cute babies too.

My belly button hasn't turned out either. In fact, it's still an innie at 35 weeks!

Alberta Grandma

You look wonderful -- and at 37 weeks baby should too. We had a new girl grandbaby at 36 weeks last month and she has more than made up her growing time so he could come whenever now and be good-to-go (and we could see him too)!!!


Two things:

1) You still have Easter candy? All mine was gone before Easter. Then I bought more on Monday after Easter, and that was gone by Thursday. Wonder why none of my pants fit?

2) Maybe the flat-navel thing means you're having an Ezra-sized baby instead of a Noah-sized baby? I want you to know, the fact that you had a 10-pounder followed by a 7-pounder gives me hope that perhaps my second child will not be the 10-pound linebacker-baby I had the first time around (which also gives me hope for a VBAC, as I'm fairly certain no OB/midwife in her right mind would let me try a VBAC if it's looking like #2 is gonna be as big as #1).


Agree with all and sundry that you both are and look awesome.

Also - a non-breeder friend and I had a prolonged conversation last night about how the "oh!" stomach grab in tv and movies is *not* an indication that any second now there will be a child. I sent her a link to your post today!


this is exactly how the last month of my 3rd pregnancy went. Regular contractions like 5 min apart that would last for just long enough that I would think maybe we had something, and then right when I'd decide "okay, one more at this interval and I'm calling the doctor" they would completely stop. SO frustrating!


How on earth do you still have Easter candy? Easter was three weeks ago! I guess that's why you are so tiny, even as a full-term pregnant lady.


You look awesome! I never had the basketball thing going for me. I'm just spread out all over over here at 29 wks.


Are you smaller this time around, or is it all a part of the blending-into-the-walls illusion?

Either way, you look super cute.


Hi Amy! I just wanted to say that I found the link to your blog through "surfmama" & I am in LOVE! So fucking funny. you are hilarious. I have ben reading your posts as if it's a book for the last 3 days, & am now way back to 2009.. I really hope you don't find that creepy.haha You have an amazing way with words & such a beautiful family, & you are such a great mum to your children! Anyway, can't wait to hear you've had your baby boy (I've got two tabs open - one that's where I'm up to, & one that's most recent) & hear the name! good luck & thanks for the entertainment. Much love from melbourne, Australia!


Gah! I want to rub the belly - it's so beautiful!


You are looking so cute in th 37th week and the 37th Week is really great things and Please Take care your Self.


As a doula, Imma need to tell you that the flat bellybutton likely means your baby is lying in a posterior position. Get thee on all fours for LOTS of time each day, pronto! Posterior babies can rotate before labour, and/or during labour or pushing, but it can make for erratic labour patterns (HI?) and severe back pain in labour. Not really very fun. Google this if you don't believe me. can help for both breech and posterior babies. Position is important!:) Good luck! :)


Someone told me that there are more reasons for contractions than just getting your body ready for labor- they also massage the baby, calming him down, and in the end stages of labor, they help the baby's lungs get rid of some of the fluid, making it easier for him to breathe. Or something like that.

True or not, I don't know. But I like the thought that your uterus is already helping you have a calm baby. :-)


May I just share that my SINGLE BIGGEST FEAR about pregnancy? Thanks.

It's not any of the genuinely scary or embarrassing stuff; it's the bellybutton thing. I can't stand having mine touched. I have ISSUES about bellybuttons. If mine turns inside out and is therefore constantly rubbing. On everything. I will freak. The everlovingfuck. Out.

Errrgh, I just actually shuddered thinking about it.


I'm so sorry, but as a non-breeder, I have to say that looks like it really, really hurts.

But along with everyone else, I also have to say you look freaking gorgeous. YOUR HAIR, I wants it. You are a beautiful mom, Amy.


I had contractions for about a month too (ugh)but on the bright side, when "real" labor finally hit, I was five cm dilated and fully effaced. Kind of an icky way to walk around for weeks, but then labor labor was about 3 hours long start to finish. Almost didnt' make it to the hospital, and no time for the dr to get there! So maybe you're getting some good work done down there!

Amy in StL

My grandmother supposedly had no belly button. I have no idea how that happened, but I'll keep my fingers crossed for yours. Unless of course you ARE a pod person; then I'll have to destroy you.


GHD Straighteners

Thanks to your sharing. Good luck to you. Attention grabbing and handy post, thanks. Well done!

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