ALL RIGHT. WHICH ONE OF YOU ASSHOLES STOLE MY BABY?
AND REPLACED HIM WITH THIS...
THIS SUPER-GROWN-UP-LOOKING LITTLE-BOY CHILD.
(Who still, admittedly, sleeps with his Winkie blanket and sucks his thumb and blows raspberries on my pregnant belly and calls Cheerios "chowder" and says "I SCARED!" whenever Noah watches Harry Potter and "OW MY BUTT" whenever I pinch it but who also unloads the silverware from the dishwasher and counts to 10 and knows his shapes and is applying to preschools this week because it just now occurred to me that wow, he's not my baby anymore, he's my very funny, very amazing, very wonderful, very super-grown-up-looking little boy.)