Swing Low Sweet Crazy Person
Today's No Baby Yet Update

In Which I Am A Truly Pleasant Person & A Joy To Be Around

Obligatory: No baby yet. I am not in labor NOR I am in anything even approaching what could be considered a good mood.

I slept like crap last night because I'm just so all-around lumpy and uncomfortable AND THEN I had a dream that I was trapped on an MTV spinoff/prequel show called Jersey Shore Babies and was responsible for changing an infant Snooki's diaper AND THEN I woke up with a terrible headache -- like a why is there not someone I can hold personally accountable for this amount of pain and thus murder with my bony bare hands style headache. Then I ate some toast and got heartburn from the toast and promptly threw up all the toast and what the HELL, man. IT WAS ONLY SOME TOAST. 

So...probably good (for Jason's sake? as the accountable party in this instance?) that this morning's routine OB appointment revealed absolutely no indication that this baby feels like exiting any time soon. Cervix is closed, baby is happy and continuing to leech an alarming amount of body fat directly off my frame as his weight/size goes up and mine goes down and no one really knows why but it's not a big deal, apparently, and I can report that I've managed to hold on to plenty of extra pregnancy weight in my chin. Or chins, as the case may be.

(Oh, and my blood pressure is just fine, since I know pregnancy + headache talk tends to elicit a Scooby-Doo-style ruh-roh most of the time.)

In other words, everything is fine! Except for all of the things that are terrible! 

Anyway. Here! Look! Click here to see some pictures from my maternity photo session. Which will one day make me look back at these last couple weeks and think, "Awwww, that wasn't so bad! Look how peaceful and serene I looked! Kind of glowy and vintage-y? We should totally do that again." 

DSC_0201 (1)

(And yes, there really is a 35w5d belly under that heap of children. OUCH, YOU TWO. STOP DENTING YOUR BROTHER.)

(Thanks so, so much to Kaileen for taking these...for INSISTING on taking these, really, because without her kicking me in the pants the only photos I would have from this pregnancy would be crappy iPhone shots, and I think we can all agree that hers are much, much prettier.) 

Now if you'll excuse me, this here pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream and I have some business to attend to. Important pregnancy-related business.

*looks at carton more closely*




The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful

I used to make sweet love to some Apple Pan chocolate silk pie in my last month. My husband made the mistake of bringing home ONE SLICE. After I'd roasted his balls with a flame thrower he got me the WHOLE PIE. MMM


Those are great pictures. I love that they are FAMILY pictures...you, the boys & Jason. She is a very talented photographer.


You are beautiful and your family are adorable, and you've made me cry! x


The pictures are absolutely beautiful!


Love the pictures! You weren't even wearing maternity jeans! Go you!


I am in a similar ragey mood at the moment and I'm not even pregnant. The only thing I can blame is the Leaver's Play at school that I am trying to organise and the lack of appropriately pitched Wizard of Oz backing tracks on iTunes.

Oh god, now I'm getting all enraged again!

Angie @ Musings of a Violet Monkey

Oh my god... will you adopt me? It wouldn't be weird or anything for you to adopt a 32 year old, right? Oh, erm, nevermind. You have the cutest family ever. Those are some amazing photos. I want that. Lucky gal. Congrats for the zillionth time! :)



I am going to be walking around the house quoting the end of this post.

you're the best.


Those photos - totally awesome! Thanks for sharing!


LOVE LOVE LOVE the photos!!!! thanks for sharing!


Those pictures are AMAZING! Way to go Kaileen!



That last bit: priceless!

Hope you feel better soon. Stupid headaches, stupid heartburn.


These are so wonderful! I love the ones with Ezra perches on your belly, so adorable!


Geez, woman - you were right about that belly button! It looks like you had plastic surgery to remove it!


I had a lot of trouble gaining weight with my last one and the Dr. prescribed ice cream (fat and calcium). My husband came home with sugar-free, fat-free ice cream...seriously???


Hahahahaha! Hulkrage.


OH! Those pictures are absolutely lovely. So awesome and you look fantastic!


The 1st photo on her blog of you and the Mighty Ez (where he is looking very seriously right at the camera) is stunning. JUST STUNNING. Wow. And she's right - the love just radiates from all of you.


Beautiful pictures and Ezra's body builder pose cracks me up!

(also, apparently we have the same bed :)


About to go look at pictures, but before I do... can I just tell you how much I like you for the daily updates that you're NOT in pregnant? Because otherwise, my mind goes places...

cindy w

I'm so right there with you. I was informed at my 38 week appointment yesterday that I'm dilated to a "loose 1 centimeter." Which, WTF does that even mean? Couldn't she have said 1 1/2? And who you calling "loose," lady??

I'd be lying if I said I haven't been having an internal debate about which would be more horribly uncomfortable: the digestive issues that go along with the castor oil method, or attempting to have sex at my current (enormous) size.

Life of a Doctor's Wife

Love the photos - love love love! You have such a beautiful family.


Love the photos! We have two boys as well, about the same age as yours. I sooo want another, but I just can't :( Enjoy the newborn!!

Amy in StL

Someone should go buy you some frozen custard. I would, but it would melt on the cross-country trip. I'll just eat some in your honor - that's calorie free because it's for a cause, right?

Parsing Nonsense

Awwww, you've got that whole glowy earth-mother vibe going ;)


Thank goodness you're getting a new baby soon, because seriously, what happened to baby Ezra?! Seeing pics of him doesn't help my denial over my own not-looking-like-a-baby-anymore 2-year-old-boy growing up. Lovely pics, by the way!


Love the photos- scared of your ghostly belly button. FYI my 3rd child totally was born with the shade of red I dyed my blondish hair prior to his pregnancy.


Beautiful. The pictures showing what I think is the piece with your father's thumbprint, resting on your belly, brought a tear to my eye - see, he's still there with you.


The pictures are incredibly sweet! I love the ones with the entire family piled up on the bed. Also, I love that I can totally pick which side of the bed is yours. The one with the industrial-sized water cup and prenatal vitamins? Looks just like my bedside table!


The pictures are SO BEAUTIFUL! The ones of the whole family cuddling on the bed made me teary because, as the photographer mentions, there is just so much visible love between you all! What a great memento.

Loretta S.

You are so funny when you're bitchy! Bad for you - great for the blog!!


Oh! The one with the four.5 of you laughing on the bed? OMG. I'm dead. You are so very lucky Amy! Best wishes.


OMG! "beautiful" just doesn't do the portraits (and family)justice!!!


The ones of the 4 (5?) of you in the bed are precious! Love them!


The one of all of you with Ezra touching your belly and laughing up at you makes me all teary! Not enough to make me want another baby, though. God, no.

(And that is one freaky belly-button--you were right!)


See, all you have to do to tame that hulk rage is go look at those stunningly beautiful maternity pics. My absolute favorite is the 4th one from the top...the one of you and Noah. You look so gorgeous!

Big Gay Sam

Jason can come stay at my house. I have nachos and no estrogen. :p


Those pictures are beautiful!! And, if you don't hate me for saying so, it looks like your belly has dropped a little since the last pic you posted, so maybe a baby isn't too far away?. (Or maybe it's just my imagination. I don't know. I carried really low my entire pregnancy and unexpectedly gave birth at 35 weeks, so I don't really know what those last few weeks are supposed to look like.)


Your family is beautiful! Love the photos.

Arell @ www.ourtinyplace.blogspot.com

You are the freaking best. The other day I nearly ripped my waitresses head off for bringing me vanilla ice cream because they were "all out of chocolate". I guess you have to be pregnant to understand that they are 100% total and complete OPPOSITES! Your family is gorgeous, best of luck!

London escorts

Joy and Happiness is around us for all time, But We Will have to Find those and Enjoying our Life with Joy and Happiness.

anna Black

Oh those photos are beautiful. And you weren't kidding about your belly button.


They're amazing! Your house made for such a natural, comfortable atmosphere. You all look lovely and you are so radiant! Love Ezra sitting on The Belleh.


The pictures are great, but I particularly LOVE the b/w one of you holding Ezra on top of your belly and of Noah looking up at you. So beautiful! (Why did I not do this when I was pregnant?!)

Mom in Boyland

I LOVE to read about fellow moms in boyland who swear as much I do and have a propensity for ice cream! Your picture is beautiful by the way, I wish I had someone guilt me into taking pics while I was pregnant with my third boy :-)


Awesome pictures!


Holy cow those are some awesome pictures! And the love you guys have for each other not only comes through but magnified 1000%! Nekkid toddler butt is verra cute too I must say but love the body building pose Ez is striking.


God. I'm such a dork and clearly pms-ing because those pics brought tears to my eyes. Very happy for you guys...

The Mommy Therapy

The picture's gorgeous! I don't understand how you have your belly under those boys though. Seriously.

Sounds like the cruel process of making you desperate to be done with pregnancy, only to be stuck with an INFANT to care for, has begun. So sorry you are uncomfortable....it will all be over soon and then it will all be baby stuff to bitch about, which is sort of nice to have a change of pace if nothing else. :)



Beautiful. Just beautiful, dagnabit.


Those pictures are AMAZING! what a great photographer, I am jeals. Congrats and good luck to you guys. :)


The photos are perfect- lovey dovey ones, but the one of Ez showing his muscles is the BEST.

Also: Is it bad that I enjoy last trimester Amalah because she's profane and hysterical? I thought not.


Amy? You have great potential post titles that you aren't using. Each post could be: Week 36, Day 1, still no baby. Think of how east it would be...till he's born at least. ;)

The photos are beautiful by the way.


Those are all lovely photos, but I especially love the one of Ezra standing at the end of your bed. Fabulous!


Beautiful pictures!! Love the love feeling.


Joy is related to happiness, but it is a deeper experience. Some people like to make a distinction between joy and happiness. They are both positive and desirable feelings.

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