37 Weeks
In Which I Am A Truly Pleasant Person & A Joy To Be Around

Swing Low Sweet Crazy Person

AMY: Thanks for getting the baby swing down from the attic...

JASON: No problem.

AMY: *under breath* ...three freaking months after I originally asked you to but whatever.

JASON: What?

AMY: Nothing!

AMY: *busies herself with refastening freshly-washed cover to baby swing*

AMY: *tries to attach swing seat to swing frame, makes horrible discovery*

AMY: THE SWING IS MISSING A PART!

JASON: What?

AMY: MISSING! A PART! THIS WON'T ATTACH! THE LITTLE THINGS THAT GO ON THE OTHER THING AND KIND OF...POP? OUT? THOSE THINGS! OR WAS IT A SCREW? EITHER WAY! THERE IS SOME ESSENTIAL MISSING THING!

JASON: *looks* Yeah, you're right. I'll look up in the attic again, I guess.

AMY: Okay.

AMY: *waits*

AMY: ...

AMY: *waits more*

JASON: What? 

AMY: OH MY FUCKING GOD.

(PS. NO BABY YET.)

(PPS. OR WORKING SWING.)

Comments

allison

I've got 4 weeks to go and I'm sounding equally as crazy...

Starrynite

Oh Jason, Jason... Will he never learn?

Sending lots of positive swing-fixy and baby-having thoughts. X

Jennifer

Had a pretty similar conversation with my hubby last night too... I am just a few days behind you on due date. Why these guys think it is ok (or safe) to procrastinate with an actively nesting/ pregnant/hormonal woman in the house I will never understand!

Lis

LOLZ.

Kelsi

That's not at all crazy! WHY HASN'T HE EFFING GONE?!

(And I'm not even pregnant! God help my husband when the time comes...)

Sarah

I had to reread the last bit for it to make sense to me. Why? Because I had assumed that Jason was asking "what?" from the attic. Silly me ;-)

(Sorry Jason, I'm sure you're lovely really.)

Kari The Great

bahahahaha!! i effing LOVE your blog!

Mika

But did he ever move the tire from the entry way? If so, however long that took? Is probably how long it will take for the swing to become operational.

Jessica V

We are now going to need an update when the swing IS working. You know that, right? It can be tomorrow's post!

beyond

yeah. i'm pregnant and my blood pressure went up just reading this...

golfing grannie

Why is it that men always think that later, or perhaps next week/month will do?

Kelli

I let loose some pregnancy crazy on my husband the other night. He thought it would be really really funny to tell me he lost his job. (what a funny joke, huh? IDIOT!) What he got instead of the laughter he was expecting from me? Uncontrollable sobbing for the next 30 minutes. Sobbing. Silly husbands.

Olivia

So, has he gone up yet? Cause that swing isn't going to fix itself.

Jessica

The roles are kind of reversed in our house. Yes, I'm the one with the crazy hormones, so if I want something done, I want it done NOW, DAMMIT. But he's the one freaking out about how the baby is going to be here SO SOON and there's so much we haven't done! AAAAAH! (We have approximately 6 weeks to go)

Kate

Jason, please go look in the attic now, lest I say things that I will regret later. Or not regret.

-k-

I still can't believe this baby is almost here. It so doesn't feel like that many months have passed since you shared the news.

Karen

Hahahaha now I know what I sound like when I talk to my husband!

Jaime

They just don't get it!

Big Gay Sam

In the gay world we get this crazy over theme parties. :p

Roberta

I am TOTALLY like this. All the time, pregnant or not. Because I wouldn't have asked you to do it if I didn't mean NOW. Why do they never learn?

Emma

Over the past few weeks, I have found myself adding a "Baby Watch 2011" to the title of every post and have begun hearing Katie Couric's and Matt Lauer's voices narrating your posts in my head.

Shannnon @nwaMotherlode

Even though I haven't met Jason, it seems he is a thoughtful, sweet husband. BUT. He needs to go back up in the attic right this minute!!!!!!! I'm not pregnant and that made me crazy!

SarahB

I reacted rather poorly to my husband choosing not to take out the trash when he had ten minutes before we left the house in which to do it.

Him: "Oh, your hands will be full? Then I'll just take one bag on our way and get the recycling later." I very screechingly inquired why in the world he wouldn't just get all done now.

No clue how offensive trash smells were to the pregnant lady...nor how frustrating to have to ask multiple times to get something done.

Kacie

Thanks for making my day. I am not pregnant and I feel like I am equally as crazy as you feel.:)

Della

I made the same mistake as Sarah. naughty, naughty Jason. he's been around the block a couple times, you'd think he'd understand. or you know, read this blog or something.

Bridget

I have to tell you that my husband is still going to find and set up the pack n play from the attic "next weekend, really sweetie". The baby is now three months old.

Christina

ROFL! That was SO our day here yesterday. And then he started singing "When will you ever learn..." And I thought "SERIOUSLY! When will YOU?"

KTSchoger

Good Lord! What is with these guys?

I asked my husband to cut the decorative grasses in the backyard over a month ago. Needless to say, that mission was not accomplished by him.....

Pregnant lady with electric hedge trimmers - he's lucky he wasn't around when I, in all of my 8 months pregnant glory, finished the task.

kat

I have SO been there.

kat

And I remember just wishing to hell I wasn't so damn HUGE so I could root around in attics and get parts to stuff my own damn self.

deborah

ok - i know you're 37 weeks pregnant and all, but could you please write more posts? because i'm 35w4d pregnant (not that i'm counting or anything) and your posts are the freaking highlight of my day. i am so RIGHT THERE with you. i pee my pants every time (joking... or not, you decide) with gleeful, blissful laughter. but i do want more!

die Frau

@Deborah--SO AM I! 35w4d pregnant!

Now, is Jason also like my husband in that he will go to the attic (if he does before Little Man arrives), look around, and NOT FIND THE PART? I love my husband dearly, but he is the WORST LOOKER EVER.

I think that's a male trait. Anyone else deal with this?

Kimm

He'd better do what you say! I used to "joke" with my husband that if he didn't do whatever I wanted asap, I would go all CPL on his ass- Crazy Pregnant Lady. It made him laugh but I wasn't exactly joking.
The swing is the most used babysitter we have, baby loves it. We have a supply of D batteries that must never run out.


Hailey

He'll get it. In 6 months when the baby is too big of it anyway. Gah men!

denver truck accident lawyer

Hahaha.... too funny! :D

mahjong

It's amazing Article. I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this article. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

Jennifer

It's not because you are preggers, it's because they are freakishly slow and have to "think" about things before they do them! I had my last kid 4 years ago and still go crazy on my husband for not being on MY timeline!!!

Courtney

My husband will be the same way. He's a master procrastinator. And then he finishes things only 95% of the way. Drives me nuts, if I let it.

Hey, how's your garden coming along for this summer?

Karen

Oh Lord, you would go crazy here. My husband, bless his heart, has been teaching this quarter, so all baby-preparation projects that are his domain (putting the crib together, putting up a wall to make a ROOM for the baby) are postponed until the quarter is over..which will be four weeks before I'm due. Yep. I'm six weeks till my due date, no crib, no room for the baby, and nowhere to put all the clothes I've stored away for the baby, either. Time for me to get creative and clean out my own closet to make half of it for the baby, I suppose. I'm trying (and mostly succeeding) to be Zen about it.

Of course, I've been procrastinating myself. I don't even have BOTTLES for this baby. I guess that's what happens when you're expecting your fourth, you just kind of go "meh" and figure it'll get done. Eventually.

Mom101

It's definitely easier to obsess about a swing than obsess about a baby.

Yeah. I remember.

jaelithe

I'm not pregnant but I still had a visceral sympathetic reaction as I suddenly remembered the 10,000 times my husband didn't move fast enough for me on some Totally Urgent Task while I was pregnant.

Jason, get thee to the attic!

(In all serious, I think the frustration with the slow reactions of husbands to our pregnant demands isn't just because of nesting -- it's because you CAN'T go do a lot of things yourself anymore when you're pregnant, or at least, you're not supposed to. It's really frustrating when you have to regularly ask someone else to take care of things you'd ordinarily just take care of yourself.)

jaelithe

In all seriousNESS.

(Dude, my sympathetic reaction was so strong it apparently even temporarily obliterated my ability to write coherent English.)

The comments to this entry are closed.