In Which I Am A Truly Pleasant Person & A Joy To Be Around
Praise You Like I Should Even Though It's Like, Soooo Embarrassing

Today's No Baby Yet Update

There is no baby yet.

Photo (12)

Self-portrait as Walking Fetus Jail, From Which There Is No Escape, Also No Real Flattering Angle, My LANDS.

PS. No, Jason still hasn't looked in the attic for the missing swing part. 

PPS. But he did make me a batch of fudge brownies (from scratch!) and let me eat pretty much all of them.

PPPS. Then he encouraged me to take a nice long bubble bath and even lit some candles. 

PPPPS. Then he was all, "Sex can totally start labor, riiiiiight?"

PPPPPS. No.

PPPPPPS. OBVIOUSLY. 

Comments

Rebecca

The stripey shirt really completes the "fetus jail" thing.

Daisy

Haaaaa. I'm so glad we don't have an attic I'd never get my husband to get anything in/out of it.

Beth

I think you look great! Oh and thanks for making me want brownies. I have my glucose test tomorrow. grumble.

Zak

I hope your baby's parole goes well.

JASON.

kristen

Haaaaa! The "OBVIOUSLY" disclaimer. Fetus jail. This post has me laughing so hard.

Sarah Lena

The only two things sex can be the catalyst for at your point is homicide and divorce.

sheilah

I believe it was sex that got you in this position in the first place.

Melissa

Perhaps sex would be an option if he'd get that damn part out of the attic.

Julie

The comments on this one are cracking me up! I agree with Melissa! Sex in exchange for the swing fully and completely assembled sounds reasonable in my book. :)

Betsy

Have you read "No Foal Yet," by Jesse Haas? Not that it will relieve your torment in the least, but your kids might enjoy it.

Roberta

Ha ha haaa! Ohh dear. Thanks for the daily "no baby" update, because yeah, I am a freak and am all WHERE IS AMALAH? BAYBEE?

Tammy

I'm sorta surprised that your man didn't try the...Maybe we didn't do it right, lets try again... angle, lolol.. anything for more whoopie, heheh.

Shannnon @nwaMotherlode

You can't blame a guy for trying. He's banking on you getting desperate enough to say bring it.

Life of a Doctor's Wife

I am so glad you updated on the swing part because I was wondering!! I am very interested in Swing Part Watch 2011. (Although not QUITE as interested as I am in Baby 3 Watch 2011.)

lora

men are so adorable sometimes. so hopeful and optimistic.

The Mommy Therapy

Homemade fudge brownies and a bubble bath suggestion...with candles? Of course there was going to be a sex induces labor suggestion. My husband tried this with all three. I was weak with the second one...and ended up at the hospital that night. :)

BOSSY

Oh sweetie, thinking of you.

Jennifer

During my last pregnancy when I was Oh so desperate to go into labor... I tried the sex thing, but only because there was no. other. option. Desperate, I tell you! Aaaand... it worked. Or else it was a coincidence. I went into labor about 14 hours later. Just sayin...

I am due in 2.5 weeks and am strongly considering that option this time around again...maybe. Gah.

Sonja

Oh, I tried the sex during the last two weeks. Unfortunately, it was incompatible with things like "breathing."

Also didn't start labor.

I also drank a lot of raspberry leaf tea (note: DOES NOT TASTE LIKE RASPBERRIES. Rather tastes more like curried ass.) and walked around as much as I could. Which in the first week of March, was not much. Anyhow, I have no idea if either of these things "helped" in any way, but I am no longer pregnant! My baby is two and a half months old! Pregnancy DID end!

LD

It worked for our 2nd child.

*_* RAUNCHY TMI ALERT *_* RAUNCHY TMI ALERT *_*

Are you still reading? I'm about to describe a sex position.

*_* RAUNCHY TMI ALERT *_* RAUNCHY TMI ALERT *_*

Since we couldn't actually DO it properly, we grabbed a tube o' lube, I laid on the bed on my back, raised my cankles to the sky, and he stood on the floor by the bed and did all the work. It didn't give me the tinglies, so to speak, but it was not so uncomfortable that I regret it.

:):):) END OF RAUNCHY TMI ALERT :):):)

Contractions IMMEDIATELY went from BH every 20-30 minutes that it had been for the past several days, into evenly timed contractions every 10 minutes and closing. Did the deed at 10pm, was in Transition headed to the hospital at 3 AM, and the baby came at 5:34 AM.

NinaN

My husband ran from with fear in his eyes when I suggested sex. I found him later, curled up in the fetal position sucking his thumb. So I was 4 days overdue and I blame him.

tracey

Fetus jail. Heh.

Nan

Your husband is great! He is right that sex can bring on contractions and eventual birth. So can brownies! What a great guy you have!

RzDrms

BE CAREFUL! Sex can get you pregnant! (but, clearly, not UNpregnant.)

Heather

I hate to tell you this, but Jason's PPPPS suggestion can help. TMI alert- but that is how we got labor stated both times with my kiddos. I was so freaking huge with Baby #2 I have no idea how we managed it, but we did!

So exited for you- hoping this home stretch goes by fast for you!

lizneust

See, now I read those last three lines differently than everyone else. That an experiment - in the name of science, of course - was attempted and the hypothesis disproved. In which case, I hope it was at least fun. In the name of science, of course.

lolismum

Yeah, I read it like lizneust, too. Does sex bring on labor? No, obviously, no , since we just did it and there's no baby yet.

London escorts

Baby is not come yet but i think, in very Short time your Baby Come out and Surely, You will very happy and make celebration for your Baby 's come out.

Georgia

Haha. It always amazes me how men get turned on by pregnant women yet repulsed by fat ones.

MamaKaren

For everyone I hear about who has had success with the "sex induces labor" theory, I know at least two who tried it and it failed. Same with drinking the raspberry tea (worked for me, not so much for everyone I recommend it to).

You branched out and wore something other than beige for the picture! You aren't blending in with the walls in these last few days, er, hours of pregnancy.

Amy in StL

Oh please tell me that shirt is not actually a maternity shirt. Putting stripes on a pregnant lady seems wrong - maybe a jailable offense even.

kim

Maybe no baby, but that Jason is one smart man. Because bitchy Pregnant Wife feels muuuch better now, yes? And he got lucky, too. Bonus!

Katy

I drank gallons of tea, walked EVERYWHERE, ate pineapples by the forklift-full, also ate the magic eggplant--twice (http://www.scalinis.com/Bambino.htm), took EPO (orally and inserted), had teh sex, and my kid still had to be yanked out after 48 hours of failed induction over a week late!

In short, I don't think you can do anything to speed things along short of taking a knitting needle after that bag of water (and believe me, I would have tried this, too, if I had (a) had a knitting needle and (b) wasn't a complete chicken shit).

Dawn

Bwah hahahaha! But at least you got homemade brownies and a bubble bath out of it so maybe it's a wash with still being the ambulatory fetus jail.

Rebecca

It would be all kinds of awesome if you had the baby tomorrow evening, around - say - 6 pm... sorta givin' the finger to those rapture/end-of-world idiots. Just sayin'.

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