Ike's Birth Story
State of the Boobdom, Round Three

Swing Low, Sweet Technomuhlogical Chariot

Okay, blah, fine. Birth stories and hospital/breastfeeding drama are all well and good, but AMY! THE SWING! WHAT ABOUT THE SWING, AMY? 

The swing was still in pieces on the day Ike was born, which was also coincidentally the day we discovered that indeed, Ike was easily comforted by swinging/swaying/rocking movements. Jason commented on this and I said NOTHING, though I did shoot him a DRAMATIC PRAIRIE DOG look. He got the point. "I'll fix the swing."

He went up in the attic but alas! The missing connector piece was nowhere to be found. He waited until the next day to confess this to me, via text message from the aisles of Target, where he was contemplating buying a new swing. 

"WAIT WAIT Internet can help! Commenters offered to send part!" I texted back. 

But it was too late. My husband -- who does not generally get too worked up or involved over baby gear* -- had spotted A Swing. The Swing. It rocks! Sways! Bounces! Simulates the ocean waves while offering a wide variety of white-noise options! It's oblong and minimalist and all kinds of SPACE-AGEY.

It's like somebody attached a cradle seat to an iPad and taught it to fry bacon.

Price tag be damned. Common sense could go fuck itself. There was no going back to our beat-up Craigslist cradle swing, JASON HAD SEEN THE MAMAROO.


I have to admit, Ike reeeeeally loves it, particularly the car ride setting, which is his particular flavor of baby-sleep-crack. I've started affectionately calling it Marvin


So there you go. We have a swing, and nobody died, and Jason can't ever make fun of me for my overworked PayPal and Etsy accounts again, although he did ask me NOT to order a custom Marvin-matching blanket in a non-clashing green but fine, whatever, I already found the cutest lime-and-brown pacifier clip and HE NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT MATCHING PACIFIER CLIPS.

*I sent Jason an email a few months back with links to four or five different padded playmat options, asking for his opinion about which one seemed best. I never heard back, and testily brought up the topic a couple days later like, HELLO, IMPORTANT PLAYMAT DECISIONS TO BE MADE HERE, and he stared at me for about five minutes, blinking. "I thought that was a joke**," he said.

**A slightly more hormonally unbalanced and/or less mature pregnant woman probably would have burst into tears at this point, shrieking something about how YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL DO YOU? I WOULD NEVER JOKE ABOUT PLAYMATS. But I will have you know that I did not, but simply shrugged and said fine. And then ordered the most expensive option on the list. SO THERE. 



that baby is so adorable.

Belly Girl

My youngest is just 19 months old and I'm already one of those 90 year old ladies saying "when MAH babies were born, they didn't have cool stuff like that."

Sara M

OMG, Ike is making my push to have #3 move up much faster than my husband wants it to! He is so damn cute!


Yeah, my husband, too, is cursing you for starting a round of baby fever up in here. But Ike is just so nomalicious!!!


I really want an adult-sized version of that swing for myself.


This just makes me laugh. You guys are awesome. Congrats again!


Ike makes me want to have another baby and mine isn't even 6 months old yet!

I'd love to know what playmat you ended up with. We're looking for a nice non-toxic chemical one which has proved harder than it sounds.


I haven't seen my baby nieces in two and a half weeks, which may be one reason I can't resist Ike's smushiness and I'm trying to pick him and snuggle him in my mind.


My previous computer was also Marvin and my key drive was Deep Thought. My current computer has not yet found a name that fits quite as well.

Your Marvin definitely kicks other swings' asses and takes names!


Any price tag would be okay with me! ;-)

Suzy Q

Awesomeness all around!


Once again, you make me laugh...thanks for sharing your life with us!


Wait a minute. Did you just make a Hitchhiker's Guide reference? Oh, you had me at hello.

Marilyn @ A Lot of Loves

That swing sounds kick ass. It's only been 2 1/2 years since I had a baby, and swing technology has sky-rocketed to awesomeness.


Ike is absolutely beautiful! Congratulations!! That swing is so freakin awesome. Definitely on my list when we have another baby.


Niiiice!!! I need one of those! {I am due in September w/ baby #2} If it has a car ride setting, I must get that. How flippin' cool!!

Baby Ike is a.d.o.r.a.b.l.e. Congrats!

PS: I'm new to your blog. You crack me up!! : )

Greg S.

You were cool before, but dropping some Hitchhikers - you just became uber-cool.


"It's like somebody attached a cradle seat to an iPad and taught it to fry bacon."

I'm going to need this invented and made in an adult size, pronto.


Becca -- exactly! A car ride setting. Wow. And genius. Also, wow! (Chanting to myself: must get Mamaroo...must get Mamaroo).


Man-o-man. You are really into babystuff. Obviously. Car ride setting? Is unbelievably cool!


I LOVE the swing's name... it's what I call my wireless router. ;)

One of my cousins is Issac and he's always been called Ike as well. LOVE that name as well... and omg he is so a mini Ezra! <3


A swing with a car ride setting? I just may have to buy that.

Parsing Nonsense

Oh man, a good swing is worth its weight in gold. That's all Aidan slept in for months!

Kate F.

My husband brought home the Mamaroo, too. We returned it, because it did *nothing* for our son. Not violent enough. I still can't believe that thing will bounce along with your iPod.


I wish there had been a swing with a "riding in the car" setting when my boys were babies! That rocks.

Once again you have given birth to a bundle of complete cuteness!


I keep waiting for you to have some really shitty posting, because you've had some really big life things happen lately. And every day, I'm like, how does she do this?? How does the writing keep coming, after death and life? You never skip a beat Amy, and you never disappoint. Even in regards to baby swings. Go Amalah!


They should call that thing the Daddyroo. My husband could give a fart about baby shit (though he indulges my obsessions with it all), but I was the one who talked him out of this one. And every time we go to the baby store, it's the dads that are playing with the Mamaroo. So...DADDYROO.


That swing is awesomesauce. *Looking at old swing still sitting in corner with vague look of disgust because it isn't of the Gaga-esque egg-like species.*


Note to self: in event of pregnancy, sabotage old baby swing.


OoOOo that swing is awesome! I'm jealous. Wonder if they make it in MOMMY-SIZE!
My child slept in his swing (Lil Lamb, yada yada) until he was almost 8 months old. I thought his knees were going to drag the ground before we got him to snooze in the crib. BTW- as if you didn't know, Ike is a doll! ;o)


That swing has a car ride setting?! What is the weight limit? I could soooo use that for my 2.5 year old who will not nap without the freakin' car ride! The 7 month old will nap pretty much anywhere! Your baby Ike is so cute! Nomnomnom:)


This is the second Hitchhiker reference in the blogs I follow TODAY. I'm such a nerd.

AND...REEEALLY f'ing cute kid. Good work. Again.

*goes off to munch 2-year-old toddler toes*


I know you don't do giveaways and all that, but too bad. On their website they have a give one to the blogger and one to give away option for blogs with your kind of readership. :) I found that out while looking at it, since I've never had a baby like a swing, and I could hope that if I get so lucky as to get pregnant and stay that way one more time, maybe a swing might be good. Anyhow, lovely baby. Jealous.


You and Jason make me laugh.

Marvin has a car button? If/when I have another kid, I'm so getting that thing. It's brilliant. I mean, I thought the ocean one I bought with my middle kid was brilliant. It was the first side to side swing. But that's even better.

Ike looks adorable in it. Also? Did you clone Ez or something? I swear he's an Ezra clone.

Walkingborder (Karen)

Yeah, my husband is just lucky I'm already pregnant because if I wasn't, on look at Ike and I'd be getting me some pregnant with or without the husband's help.



Thank you for taking time out of your day, almost every single day, to make my day more enjoyable. I rarely take it for granted.
also, probably the only slightly-leaning-towards-negativeish thing you'll ever hear me say about this blog: the sans serif font makes Capital-eye, kay, eee look like the word "like" is missing its first vowel.

Jamie B.

Lovely baby! I think I totally might need that swingy thing for my 11-week-old, who CANNOT be put down between the hours of 7 a.m. and 9 p.m.

You might be able to find a less-clashy blanky (yeah, I know, it doesn't really matter) at http://bebebelladesigns.com/index.html. They have a lime green/brown option that might work...


Best title EVAR.


This made me laugh out loud! I hope Ike is treating you well.


Thank youuuu for not leaving your dear readers after having that beautiful preshus.
The Mamaroo is freaking awesome. You're so lucky! Give Jason a smooch from all of us! When I was pg with #2, some Mamaroo reps were in the baby store...and they put my 2 year old in it (even though he exceeded the weight limits) and I swear, he calmed the eff down in 0.00 seconds. And my 2 year old is mellow to begin with. He just got this stoned look on his face with a little smile as soon as they turned it on. That thing is MAGIC. My husband soooo wanted to buy it but I said No we have the Little Lamb. I am so dumb! I wish we had splurged anyway just bc it is so fabulous. Okay me and my run-on sentences will hopefully see you and nom-nom Ike soon.

die Frau

Ohhh....wish we'd known about the Mamaroo! We do have a pretty badass swing that lets you plug in your iPod, etc., so I'm hoping it will work well. My friend calls her the Neglectomatic.


Jason is the greatest! I love the swing. I think Ike does too.
You seem to be doing a great job with three boys! Sorry, make that four. More power to you!

Alberta Grandma

Beautiful baby, awesome swing, my new granddaughter is a swinger too -Wonderful technology wish we would have had it way back when-- would have saved many miles on the car lol --so glad all is well with you


First of all, congrats on baby Ike! He's adorable.

Second, I was cracking up at your post, especially the last part about the playmats. I'm pretty sure my husband and I had that EXACT conversation...multiple times before #2 was born a couple months ago. You are not alone!


Damn is Ike ever cute...it is seriously kicking my baby craving into overdrive.

Aimee Giese | Greeblemonkey

Who cares about the swing?? That is the cutest baby ever!


We used a swing with our first--my husband was working on his PhD dissertation and there were times he'd put him in the swing so he could get some work done (while i was showering or whatnot).

Anyway, that kid adapted so quickly to the swing that we had to keep changing the speeds to get him to sleep in that dang thing. Started him on speed 1, he was fine for a few days, then it wasn't enough. Bumped to speed 2. Rinse and repeat. Finally, when we were using the highest speed, I heard the baby crying and my husband yelling, "Honey! He's adapted!" just like in First Contact. Yes, we are geek parents.

None of my other babies liked swings. Dangit.


Ike is adorable and looks so sweet. My husband wants a Mamaroo --there is something in the space age design of it that appeals to the male species, lol but we are using our old Papas one that in my opinion works just as fine. My second baby is like Ike lots of swaying is what keeps her happy.


I love that it can simulate a car ride! So that you can "drive around" until the baby sleeps, but you can do it from the comfort of your couch while eating ice cream.


The Mamaroo is pretty cool. As are the people who designed it (I'm a nanny for the children of one of the engineers).


Sounds like win-win-win! Between my 2 kids, the swing worked maybe a total of 5 times. I kept trying it, though, thinking THIS time will be the charm.


That swing will be mine! I'm 14 weeks pregnant and every time I bring up baby gear choices, the husband's eyes glaze over. I take that to mean, "buy whatever you want, honey, even if is ridiculously expensive."

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