Baby Ike! Is five weeks old!
He weighs nine pounds! And five ounces! Holy cats!
HE IS STILL VERY CONCERNED ABOUT MANY THINGS.
ALSO SKEPTICAL, BUT MOSTLY JUST OF YOU.
Anyway, in honor of this momentous occasion, I thought I'd go all service-y and listicle-ish and whatnot and tell you about some of the Shit We Bought That Ensured Everyone's Survival During The Past Five Weeks. But don't worry, I'll keep inserting random baby pictures for those of you who could not give less of a crap about the wordy word parts of this blog.
IKE'S FIRST FIVE WEEKS WERE BROUGHT TO YOU BY*:
1) Miracle Blankets and Aden + Anais Swaddles: Technically, we only really swaddle in the Miracle Blankets. No matter how hard I try and how many time I've re-read the instructions, Ike can break his arms free of the Aden + Anais blankets. This would not be a problem if say, he PREFERRED to have his arms free, but instead, he fights the blanket and frees his arms in 15 seconds flat and then three seconds after that he's all, OH MY GOD HORRIBLE ARM-FLAILING FREEDOM THIS IS TERRIBLE HALP.
Exhibit A, Babies Make No Goddamn Sense At All Sometimes
Thus, Miracle Blankets for the swaddling WIN, second baby in a row. But we use the Aden + Anais blankets for just about everything else, from an extra layer in case of over-the-top air conditioning to an impromptu nursing cover to just general around-the-house half-assed bundling. Every other receiving blanket we've...uh, received has basically gone unused now that we have a set of these oversized, lightweight suckers.
2) Padded car seat handle cover. What? What the what? I KNOW. I'd never seen nor heard of such a thing, until I saw a mother with one about two weeks before my due date and practically threw myself at her head in order to find out where she'd gotten it. Surprise! Etsy. Crafty, crafty Etsy.
If you've ever lugged around an infant car seat before, you know. YOU KNOW. Eventually you have to like, USE YOUR HANDS to find your keys or open doors or reassemble a Very Important Lego Creation That Has Just Come Apart On The Sidewalk And Someone Is Refusing To Take Another Step Until It's Fixed. So you carry the car seat in the crook of your elbow, like a purse. A really heavy purse. A tank with a strap, basically. The padded handle cover won't help you with the weight, obviously, but OH MAN, does it ever help reduce those horrible red marks and bruises and burst capillaries you can get from a pinchy handle otherwise.
There are several Etsy shops that sell them. I bought mine here, along with a matching set of strap covers. Because: MATCHY. The seller was lovely and shipped my order super extra fast once I admitted that I was like, days away from my due date and was going apeshit from the nesting and the thought of NOT HAVING THE PROPER CAR SEAT HANDLE COVER IN PLACE BEFOREHAND OMG.
3) A cornucopia of slings, wraps and carriers. Look, I know every pregnant woman out there wants to find and purchase a singular, perfect sling. (I sure as hell did.) They're expensive! They're an investment! They're two whole trimesters' worth of shopping obsession right there! And so you ask your friends and blog readers and Twitter tweeple and random ladies in the supermarket for their recommendations. And then your HEAD PLUM EXPLODES, because you will never, ever get a consensus or even see the same recommendation more than twice. Moby! Maya! Ergo! Babyhawk! Infantino! Bjorn! Pockets, pouches, wraps, Mei Tais, recalls, oh my god make it stop.
Yeah. I've bought a lot of slings, over the years. I've returned one (a super-cheaply-made pouch bought sight unseen online) and given two away (a badly-sized Hotsling and a secondhand Maya). I had a Bjorn at one point that mysteriously vanished, much to my husband's dismay (it was his favorite), but I think I may be blocking out some Machiavellian sabotage there, because I didn't like what I was reading about front-facing carriers and hip and spine development and maaaaaybe had a hand in the disappearance.
Currently, we have three that actually get regular use. A Mei Tai from Anna Carrie Baby on Etsy (top picture), a resizeable pouch from RockinBabySling that brilliantly adjusts to fit me and Jason (second picture) and our trusty, intrepid, bulky-ass Ergo (not pictured, but dig through the early Ezra archives and you'll realize I carried that child around backpack-style for at least a third of his life). And each one of them STILL has its own list of pros and cons and while I could probably do an entire separate post going ON and ON about said pros and cons (I wish I'd gotten the "extra long straps" option on the Mei Tai, for example), it's likely that MY pros and cons would look nothing like YOUR pros and cons. If that makes any sense.
In other words, carriers are awesome! Except for one that you will inevitably end up buying. That one probably sucks.
4) My index finger. Pacifiers? You mean all the Soothies, Avent, Playtex things we tried? And then that weird European one that someone gave us as a gift (Natursutten? Natureosucking? Something like that?) that Ike loved for about 48 hours so we ordered a boatload more of 'em and then BAM I HATE THESE THINGS SO MUCH I MAKE ANGRY FACE IF I SENSE ONE WITHIN SIX INCHES OF MY FACE?
Yeah. He likes my finger better. So if you come visit and find me awkwardly crouched next to the swing with one index finger crammed in my son's cryhole and the other attempting to type an email on my iPad, please don't judge. WE ARE JUST TRYING TO NOT LOSE OUR COLLECTIVE SHIT OVER HERE.
I've lost track of how many emails and comments I've gotten demanding to know how the whole "cloth diapering a newborn" thing is going. I guess this is because y'all view me as either:
5a) An inspirational, aspirational lifestyle guru whom you hope to emulate and/or model your entire life after, including your diapering choices, or...
5b) A shining example of someone whom you are constantly surprised has managed to get through her day without dying and/or getting hopelessly lost in New Jersey on the way to the supermarket, thus epitomizing the idea that hell, if THAT MORON can cloth diaper, so can I. Like if Snooki took up canning, or something.
Anyway. I will be doing a whole THANG about the cloth diapering experience over at AlphaMom in a couple weeks, but suffice to say: On the one hand, it's really no big deal. It's an extra load of laundry every other day or so. We've had zero diaper rash and hot damn, they are cute as all hell.
HOWEVER, on the OTHER hand, it turns out I kind of fucking hate prefolds. I wanted so hard to love them, but I am totally over the leaks and the blowouts and nobody else in the house knowing how to fold them correctly except me, like come on. Have more or less switched to fitteds with covers and could not be happier.
6) Oh hell, the baby is waking up, so never mind. Five things it is! One thing per week of his life! Let's just pretend I planned it that way, and that in this picture he is giving that little hint of a first-ever smile to HIS MOTHER, THE ONE WHO GAVE HIM LIFE AND TWO FULL POUNDS OF WEIGHT GAIN IN A MONTH VIA THE POWER OF HER BOOBS, instead of what he was actually looking at**.
*Nothing in this post was sponsored or donated by companies or PR firms or anything like that. There are a couple Amazon affiliate links, and I'm thinking of offering up my index finger for advertising space via tattoo.
**The underside of our kitchen counter, for the record. Whatever.