Things We Did This Weekend Instead Of Seeing Harry Potter

(Post title, cont'd:)

Not That I Am Bitter About Not Seeing Harry Potter Or Anything Except I Am A Little Because I Couldn't Find A Babysitter

(Wait, I have more to say about that:)

I Mean, I Could Have Left The Kids With A Couple Friends Who Nicely Offered But I Don't Think They Realize What Two Children Plus An Infant Is Like And It's Not That I Don't Trust My Friends But It's That I Barely Feel Qualified To Keep Two Children Plus An Infant Alive On My Own And Also I Kind Of Want Those Friends To Still Be Speaking To Me The Next Day

(TL;DR version:)

Kids! Can't See Harry Potter With 'Em, Can't See Harry Potter With 'Em Left At Home And Chained To The Bannister Either

1) I went to the previously mentioned kickboxing class at Noah's karate studio. It was...um...intense. I remained upright and participating the whole time simply because of the peer pressure. I was assigned a bag next to a woman who was much older than I was and I couldn't take the embarassment of walking out after the first 15 minutes like I actually wanted to. So I stayed. Every time I tripped over the jump rope I would glare at the jump rope, like it was a defective jump rope. Like it was the jump rope's fault. And I think my jabs, hooks, and cross punches were all pretty much the same damn punch. Best described as "ineffective girly swings in the general direction of the punching bag." 

But. I stayed. I did the entire workout, save for backing off most of the more intensive ab muscle work. 

Afterwards, I melted into a little puddle of sweat on the floor and slithered home without signing up for the monthly membership. 

2) The next night, drunk on my own perceived awesomeness, I started the Couch to 5K program. For some reason I assumed it would be easy, since I've done it before and oh yeah, I completed 40 whole damn minutes of kickboxing at the local strip mall, CLEARLY I AM AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE. 

In other words, when the little voice on the training app said "HALFWAY" I shrieked out loud and almost tripped over my own feet in shock, because I thought I was almost DONE, because AHHHMAHGAAAAH RUNNING SUCKS SO HARD I WANT TO LIE DOOWWWWWN WAAAHHHHH.

3) On Sunday I was determined to do as little physical activity as possible. This was an easy goal to accomplish, because I am pretty sure most of my joints were no longer functional. We went to see Winnie the Pooh. (Full review-ish thing here.)

So obviously, we were pretty busy once we got back home.

First, we needed to dust off the old map.

Then, we drew the fearsome, terrible Backson.

And set him loose in the crib blanket my cousin made for Noah before he was born Hundred Acre Wood.

The only Pooh I could find in the house was a rattle attached to one of Ezra's old teething blankets, but he turned out to be quite sufficient.

We then enlisted some Backson-trapping help from Hedwig Owl, Promotional Tiger From The Hangover 2 Tigger and a knock-off Pillow Pet Eeyore. 

A trap was set with a Hunny Pot.

And success! We caught the mythical Backson. I have no idea what we're going to do with him now, as sadly Noah's initial suggestions were a tad violent to be considered from the Milnean canon. It seems my plan to restrict him to only the first three Harry Potter films has still left him with plenty of knowledge re: monster murdering. We will stab him in the nose with sticks! And then with a sword! Also laser guns. Pew pew!

Etc. 

Later, Ezra catered the cast party. He made an assortment of soups and wooden cheese sandwiches.

Lightning McQueen was invited too.

(Enjoy it, car. Looks like your 15 minutes of movie-fueled obsession is over, and not a moment too soon.)