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Two and a Half and Maybe a Quarter

7-21-1102

I guess there's always a moment or two, after you have another baby, when you look at your older child and think "OH GREAT. I BROKE HIM."

7-21-1103

Ohhhhh, this kid, these days.

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"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO...

(breathes)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

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"MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE...

(breathes, throws hard unyeilding object at Noah)

MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!"

7-21-1106

This weekend I had to run and jump in the pool after him, as he defiantly marched away from us, over to the deep end. I had my hands on him in seconds; I was yelling at him for many, many more minutes.

Then the whole scene repeated itself about an hour later, out in the parking lot. OH MY GOD STOP STOP DON'T RUN RED LIGHT RED LIGHT EZRA WHAT THE HELL.

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He's testing and pushing. He's not the big kid or the baby. 

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He's always been the "good eater" so now he will not be the good eater, unless no one is paying attention while he steals bits of curry-marinaded hanger steak from my plate after rejecting the macaroni and cheese that he specifically requested only to howl miserably at the sight of, but God forbid I try to serve him that curry-marinaded hanger steak EVER AGAIN, because it's so spicy, spiiiiiiicy. 

(Also spicy: carrots, hamburgers, yogurt. Not spicy: salsa, Indian food, guacamole with jalapenos.)

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If you come to our house, though, you will be charmed and wonder what the hell I'm talking about. You will likely be invited to a picnic of donuts and cake and chocolate milk, all of which he will make for you in a toy microwave and provide the proper "beep boop bop" sound effects for as he taps the buttons. When you are out of milk he will fetch more.

"I be right back. Two minutes," he'll say. 

Then he will hop on a broomstick and dash off, humming the theme music from Harry Potter. He might not be back in two minutes, though, in case he runs into a monster along the way and needs to sing it a lullaby to put it to sleep and then sometimes the monster needs a drink of water and then Lightning McQueen and can we read a story and also it's time to microwave some wooden watermelon, I think.

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I've always called him "pumpkin."

"I not a pumpkin," he corrects me, "I a BOY."

DUH, Mom. 

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He starts school in just over a month. He already has his backpack. He knows his shapes and colors and can count to 10 in English and Spanish. 

Yesterday I went to rouse him from his nap. "Wake up, baby," I whispered. 

He lifted his head but did not open his eyes. He pulled his thumb out of his mouth and muttered into his blankie: "I not a baby. I a big boy."

Duh, Mom.

 

Comments

chatty cricket

I swear to GOD you could have written this post about Jimmy. Ezra. He is a heartbreaker.

chatty cricket

I swear to GOD you could have written this post about Jimmy. Ezra. He is a heartbreaker.

chatty cricket

I swear to GOD you could have written this post about Jimmy. Ezra. He is a heartbreaker.

Shannnon @nwaMotherlode

He LOOKS like such a big boy in these pics. His hair! It's not fuzzy chick anymore, it's Ken doll hair ;)

chatty cricket

oops, triple comments! For emPHAsis!

solitarysunrise

It's a good thing he's so cute. That's what I tell my boys anyways. And, as a fellow middle child, I totally feel your pain Ez.

Anthony from CharismaticKid

He is very cute. Here's a lil secret. If you play to his 'tests' then he'll know that they work on you. Ignore his tests.

Chelsie

Our kids could be twins, right down to the 'I a BIG boy!' thing. But I'm not ready to let him start school yet. He could go into the twos/threes program at a private preschool near our home, but I don't think he has the emotional maturity to handle being away from home all day long. Or maybe that's me. It's so easy to get those two mixed up.

Jessica

Oh yes. We have the "spicy" food phase going on right now! It makes no sense, whatsoever. It's amazing how quickly their moods change. So terrible to so amusing and sweet in seconds.

Anne

Oh there is NO DAMN WAY he is a big boy. No! I demand a recount! (*sob*)

Man, he does look about six in the pic where he is sitting cross-legged on the floor. Gangly little boy legs!

Ami

Sigh. I remember those days well. WHen my son was born, my daughter (2y, 9m at the time) wouldn't hug me for a week. She had been an angel and turned into a gooey pile of melt-down-ness (I swear she cried more than my son in the first 3 months of his life, not joking). She was clearly peeved at me, and just me. It broke my heart, a little. It got better shortly before my son's first birthday, when she could no longer remember life without him. It probably won't take that long with Ezra, as he's younger (and, in theory, more malleable. ha!), but I'm sure you'll find ways to make him feel special. Hang in there!

FreeRange Pamela

Darling. My 3yo sounds in a similar stage. Now that he's gotten his long locks cut off, he claims to be a "big boy." And this morning he forbade me from using any of my pet nicknames for him -- all variations on his name. But he basically won't eat anything. I mean, there is NOTHING we can be assured of him eating regularly, which makes mealtimes quite a joy, as you might imagine.

SarahC

So cute! This reminds me of a post you wrote a while back (um, maybe a year ago?) with Ezra watching Noah go off to school, full of jealousy and admiration. (I swear I'm not creepy - I just have a good memory)

Arnebya

OMG what is it with the "it too spicy...hot...mah mouf!" But then shrieks and NOOOOOOO's when something unspicy is given. Cracking up at his faces.

Lisa

He's so cute it breaks my heart. Why does this have to happen? When my son, now 21, was 17, he went on a school retreat. We the parents had to write them letters to open during the festivities. Mine said, "Honey, I know you are growing up but there's a little boy inside you. Please take care of him. I love him very much." I sobbed. He grunted something or other.

Starbuck

What did you say? I couldn't read anything you wrote because I couldn't stop looking at that beautiful boy you have.

Anya

all three of your boys.....just too sweet. But, I do love this dedication to Ezra...

Karen

Yep, I brought our fourth kid home from the hospital and now my gigantic four year old (seriously, WHEN did he get so damn BIG) is refusing good night kisses, because "big boys don't need bedtime kisses," even though his big brothers (aged 11 and 6) still kiss me good night.

Carolyn

Is it wrong to be jealous of a 2 year old's eyelashes?

Carolyn

Is it wrong to be jealous of a 2 year old's eyelashes?

Julia

My 1st son is 3 weeks younger than Ezra & my 2nd son 3 weeks younger than Ike.

Thank you for this post; my 1st son has been acting *exactly* as you have just described Ezra, and it helps to know it is a "normal" phase, and not a manifestation of my poor parenting!

Sam

That boy is SO so adorable!

kari weber

Oh yes. The No's the tantrums... the sudden fear you "broke" your family. It sucks. But, then, one day... it doesn't. Here is hoping your "one day" comes soon!

In the meantime, I find that tickling that super cute boy until he dissolves in a fit of giggles and gasps is a good passtime... just sayin'...

Madeline

There are those of us, even veteran day care providers, who think the 2 plus somethings are the very very best ones. Your cherub, oh excuse me, big boy, is certainly one of the most adorable ones. Courage, mon amie!

Madeline

There are those of us, even veteran day care providers, who think the 2 plus somethings are the very very best ones. Your cherub, oh excuse me, big boy, is certainly one of the most adorable ones. Courage, mon amie!

Michele

You're killing me here. My youngest is 8, and my husband gives me grief when I call him, "Baby." Though in private my son tells me that he'll always be my baby. Sigh.

Michele

You're killing me here. My youngest is 8, and my husband gives me grief when I call him, "Baby." Though in private my son tells me that he'll always be my baby. Sigh.

Michele

You're killing me here. My youngest is 8, and my husband gives me grief when I call him, "Baby." Though in private my son tells me that he'll always be my baby. Sigh.

Jen

Only ruining 30% of your kids ain't bad!? Kidding... I have no legit advice, I only have one kid... Although, I will be referring back here when I have a middle hellion, so let us know what you figure out.

LD's Mom

"OH GREAT. I BROKE HIM." Don't worry, you didn't break him with Ike. It's got to just be a toddler thing. My son was born one week before Ezra, and they seem very similar. He has no older sibling and is going through the exact same phase. When I ask him if he's a baby he says "NO" When I ask him if he's a big boy he says "NO" When I ask him what he is then, he says "I'm Me!"

LD's Mom

My son also sits at the piano and plays a song while singing, "No, mommy...No, mommy... No,mommy..."

Erin in VA

Sounds like my second born (both boys as well)...no 3rd one for me, as of yet. My boy is also calls me "bad mommy!" just when I look at him. We've started punishing him for this because he does it when he's mad so now when he starts to say "bad mommy" he adds something at the end...like "bad mommy car".

kathy

"Yesterday I went to rouse him from his nap." WHA?

Another Amy

I definitely don't think you've broken Ezra--I think he's just two-and-three-quarters! My son is a month younger and is an only child and is acting the exact same way. Including the suicidal tendencies...mine fell into the campfire (not burned, thankfully) after being repeatedly removed from the area and told it was dangerous. Stay strong, sister!

Hope

Oh, this. I am terrified. My son is just past two and will be exactly two and a half when the new baby is born. I am so scared I'm going to break him. He's been the center of the universe for two years and even though he seems excited for his baby sister, I worry. It's not logical I know. I have six brothers and sisters and don't resent any of them and he'll never remember a time without his sister but still...

Your boys are gorgeous.

Jackie

My daughter is just a few months younger than Ezra and I haven't had my second child yet (six months pregnant). But she behaves exactly the way you are describing Ezra. So (as lots of other people have commented) I guess they are just being crazy two year olds. (My favorite moment of insanity was a tantrum she threw this weekend insisting that a busy Manhattan sidewalk was not actually the sidewalk, but instead the street. And she therefore needed to be carried by her six months pregnant mother, while screaming and thrashing about. Why am I having another?!?!?)

Jackie

My daughter is just a few months younger than Ezra and I haven't had my second child yet (six months pregnant). But she behaves exactly the way you are describing Ezra. So (as lots of other people have commented) I guess they are just being crazy two year olds. (My favorite moment of insanity was a tantrum she threw this weekend insisting that a busy Manhattan sidewalk was not actually the sidewalk, but instead the street. And she therefore needed to be carried by her six months pregnant mother, while screaming and thrashing about. Why am I having another?!?!?)

Jessica

Oh, my goodness. He's just so beautiful. I could barely stop looking at the pictures to read the words.

Jessica

Oh, my goodness. He's just so beautiful. I could barely stop looking at the pictures to read the words.

leanne

Sob. Surprise! I just found out that we'll be having a third when our 2nd son is 2 and three-quarters. HOW am I going to do this?? Panic! Excuse me while I throw up.

Lise

You didn't break him - he's just two. Trust me - I did an exhaustive study of two-year-old behavior by having four kids at varying intervals. Two-year-olds are two-year-olds, regardless of the presence or absence of younger siblings. It's a good thing they're also so adorable and cuddly and fascinating.

Is the "two minutes" thing from a TV show? My two-year-old granddaughter has started saying that, and her parents can't figure out where she picked up the phrase.

Michelle @ A Little P

So sweet!

Haley

Oh my, he is so cute! In college, I was a nanny for a kid that came with a leash...and he liked it! I laughed at the whole concept, but William knew when his leash/backpack came out we were going somewhere fun. Not that Ez needs a leash, but it worked wonders on MY stress level.

Christy

OMG I only have one kid, a girl who's just over 2 1/2 and she sounds very much like Ezra. Very much. Ugg. Tonight was especially trying. She better not wake up for a little longer.

Della

Ken Doll Hair... LOL! Exactly!

He is also gorgeous. And brilliant, apparently, prompting "uh oh her kid might me smarter than mine HERE son let's memorize the intro to Hamlet" competitiveness in me. My PRESHUS PERRRRRRRLL might not be the most PRECOCIOUS POPPET in PRESCHOOL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK.

Seriously though, it's clear he's freaking brilliant.

Cy

Oh, I miss my boys being little. Enjoy, enjoy!!

JCF

Whenever someone posts about a similarly aged child to one of my own, I always feel so relieved to realize the annoying, weird, etc things they are doing are normal, rather than being indicators that they're future serial killers or something. But anyway, my 2.5 yo daughter was howling in "pain" tonight while eating her peas, which were apparently "soooooo spicy Mommy!" I do not get it.

Ailis

Thank you, thank you. As a first time mom of a toddler, I'm so glad to have someone echo exactly what is going on with my little boy. My son also has always been a good eater and has decided to try many different tactics at dinner to, shall we say, express his independence. He still eats generally well for the other meals of the day but I'm trying to figure out how to handle this dinner madness. Any suggestions?

AmericnJewl

YESYESYESYES...
Your PAINZ, I feelz them.
I've been subscribing to your blog since I was pregnant... overlapping when you were pregnant with Ezra. I've stayed because I enjoy the mirrored experiences.

But seriously, the spicy thing? Miya does that too and I have no idea where she got it from. NO, the strawberry yogurt is NOT spicy... *sigh*

Marie

Wow. What a great little kid. His personality shines through in the photos.

My 2.5 y.o. is discovering new foods to reject, often previous favorites. She even protests foods we weren't even planning to give her, which makes me very irritable. The girl can sniff a pea from across the room. *sigh*

A nutritionist friend recommended Child of Mine: Feeding With Love and Good Sense by Sattler (forgot the first name). Applying the first chapter made a huge difference immediately. Now we're going back to read the rest of it!

Becca Lynn

Oh goodness. When did he become not a baby? He looks so grown up in those pictures!! I SWEAR he was still a little chubby baby last time I checked.

sara

Wow, this post describes my just-turned-3-year-old to a tee! It's the random, out-of-nowhere "I really love you mommy" that keeps me from completely losing it when he throws a tantrum because I won't give him more cheese.

Heather B.

Come to her house and get this:

- Ezra wanting to know your name
- Ezra politely asking for you to turn on the television
- Ezra giving you a hug just because
- Ezra wanting to sit on your lap because you're there and squishy
- Ezra offering you milk
- Ezra enjoying you drinking said milk
- Ezra screaming MIIIIIIINE!
- Ezra giving you a hug just because

That kid, oh that kid.

Tracey

Oh, I feel your pain. I've been reading your stuff for a while, and I swear Ezra and my two-and-a-half year old could have been separated at birth. I now have a six-month-old, and big brother is having quite the time of it. I keep reminding myself that he'll outgrow it. Stay strong!

Elizabeth@Table4five

That is so sweet! He sounds like a great kid, I mean, big boy :)

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