Back With a Bang & a Whimper
August 26, 2011
For the record, yes. I am ashamed over how I neglected my blog this week, and how I will continue to neglect it, because all I can think to write about today is Noah's kindergarten orientation, which is happening in a couple hours.
BRAIN: That's...um, really not interesting to anybody else but you.
SMALLER LUMPY SUB-BRAIN: Hello, I'm not sure we've met. When has that EVER stopped me from writing about a specific topic before, ever?
BRAIN: Well...never, but...
SUB-BRAIN: Also, could you do us all a favor and Google the usage distinction of anyone vs. anybody? Because I suspect you're doing it wrong.
BRAIN: You know if I do that we'll never get anything posted today, because we'll get lost in a Wikipedia wormhole and the next thing we know it'll be 2:15 and time to leave for the kindergarten orientation and she'll freak out about still being in her pajamas because that article about European serial killers of the 1800s was just soooooo interesting.
SUB-BRAIN: Kindergarten orientation! Oh, God. Can you believe it?
BRAIN: Indeed. I cannot.
SUB-BRAIN: I'm really having a hard time with it. And I would really like the opportunity to get all maudlin about it on the Internet. So why no-o-ot?
BRAIN: But if you do that TODAY, over an orientation that 1) is really just an hour-long open house, and 2) hasn't even happened yet, what the hell are you going to write about on MONDAY, the actual first day of actual kindergarten?
SUB-BRAIN: *barely audible pneumatic-sounding sputters*
BRAIN: Shit. You're totally overheating now, aren't you?
SUB-BRAIN: Gah. You know that happens if you make me think too hard.
BRAIN: Sorry.
SUB-BRAIN: Why does it smell like burnt hair in here?
BRAIN: Shh. You're overdoing it. Hey look, turns out "anybody" and "anyone" are synonymous, and the Oxford usage guide says the choice comes down to euphony; which one sounds better.
SUB-BRAIN: Buzz! You're pretty. Let's have a popsicle and take a nap.
I love a good "anyone" vs. "anybody" discussion.
Good luck at orientation!!!
Oh, the first day of kindergarten. We just went through that this week. I'm with you on this one, exiting and a little bit sad. Our babies are growing up way too fast!
Love a good grammar debate. ;)
Kindergarten? Already??
~
Despite what your brain says, I want to know about Kindergarten orientation. As for neglecting your blog, I got plenty of updates and pics on twitter so I'm good.
I could comment on how fast they grow, or tell you how hard I cried when reading "Twas The Night Before Kindergarten" but I'm laughing too hard at the whole conversation with yourself. And delighted that I'm not the only one.
"The Kissing Hand" nearly killed me when my oldest went to preschool. But I love that book.
THANK YOU for clearing up the blasted anybody versus anyone distinction for me. I always wonder about that when I use it, but "forget" (aka, am too lazy) to look it up myself.
Also: awwwwwwwwww, happy orientation day, Noah!
Also x2: I must say, I love your brain(s)' dialogue. Quite ... familiar in terms of ... um, chaotic chatter.
We just went through first day of kindergarten. My posts this week covered my joy about it all. I mean, there is an element of sadness, but I also have three and it is a profound change in our house to have the oldest gone. It's sort of awesome for 8 hours a day.
He's happy, my other two are happily discovering each other, and I haven't yelled in three days.
That is profound. That is something to celebrate!
Kindergarden orientation is definitely worth a flip-out post. As will be the first day. And probably the third and the forth as well.
Amy- I am a longtime sufferer of internet black holes. Now worse because I've discovered longform.org (has TONS of old and new magazine and newspaper pieces in their complete form). And you can send them to your kindle. Trouble, I tell you.
Wow. Kindergarten. Mine started sixth and third on Monday (then had a quake day and potentially will have a hurricane day next week. Hmmm...I don't think I want whatever's next). But yay! Kindergarten! Get up! Unpajama yourself! And remember to remove the stickers from your hair before you enter the school.
So... Brain = Ego, Smaller Lumpy Sub-Brain = Id?
My oldest starts Kindergarten next week, so I'm right there with you. My brain is also including, "Did we get everything on the list? Let's check again for the 563rd time!"
Ahh, sweetie, I just dropped off MY babaaaayyy at college yesterday...so yea....I'm a mess. I would give anything for her to still be in kindergarten..sniff. Pretty sure she doesn't feel the same. Love you girlie..
That last sub-brain comment was PRICELESS. :D
i got into a wikipedia wormhole the other day (it happens often) and ended up reading all about Megele's horrible twin experiments during the Holocaust. now i think i might need to learn about European serial killers of the 1800s. I didn't think my brain was that dark a place.
They let babies into kindergarten now?? Because no f-ing way the mighty Ez is old enough for this, nuh-uh. Nope.
I love European serial killers of the 1800s! Some stupid FB meme started me reading about some horrible woman who took in young women's babes, continuing to take their money despite the little ones' demises... oh, yeah, mine starts kindergarten next week. Yay!
I totally cried harder at the kindergarten orientation than the actual first day. Though I did cry at both. Something about those kindergarteners. I walked by the kindergarten graduation at school last June, at which I knew nobody, and burst into tears. I don't anticipate tears at my second graders' first day by anybody though.
good luck with orientation. it will go just fine. i cried on the first day, wednesday, but when i saw that smile coming towards me at the end of the day i knew i shed happy tears.
beware of the kissing hand. it. will. melt. you.
can you link to the article about European serial killers of the 1800s ? What's to love?
We have our kindergarten orientation next week. Gak.
I can't stop thinking about how the school thinks my sweet baby boy can ride the bus! The thought of him doing this without me breaks my heart.
I am nowhere near as cool as you, but it appears that our brains function similarly.
In other news, although a Wiki wormhole is bad enough, have you "met" tvtropes.com? Betcha can't eat just one. The first time I went to "check it out" I spent 4 hours there. I think it's worse because I'm guaranteed to be interested in any given trope, whereas the wiki link interest values vary.
Plus, thanks for the tip on the any's!
Hooked on euphonics worked for me! :D
I was just telling a friend last night about our meetings at my last job. They were all grammar and word usage discussions. Good times. :)
Wikipedia wormhole!! That happens to me all the time!
Thanks for sharing all about Noah going into Kindergarten. Noah and my son are about the same age, so I am going through the same stuff. We have our Kindergarten Orientation Wednesday evening. I look forward to hearing how yours goes.
Hey, about the spit up issue... Our son was the same - an excessive happy spitter - not an allergy at all. They thought it was reflux similar to what your doctor said. However, it was a symptom of a bigger issue. We didn't figure it out until he was 18 months. It is all fixed now, but it didn't just "go away" with time.
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