SAHMayhem

I had big plans for today -- I really did. Today is -- was -- my last day with alllll my boys to myself before school starts. The babysitter comes tomorrow so I can pretend to be all business-y and important, and then the day after that we're heading back to the beach for a few days (with Tracey and Charlie! THERE WILL BE VELVEETA DIP AND LUGGAGE CART MAYHEM.). 

And then Noah's school starts like, five minutes after we get back. And then Ezra -- EZRA! BABY ZAH! -- starts school a few days later. Today was it. (Until the first random holiday or teacher in-service day that I will not be aware of, and will be all, SHIT NOW WHAT when I realize we're the only idiots out at the bus stop.) I was going to swallow my fear at being anywhere out in public with all three boys and MAKE SOME GODDAMN MEMORIES IF IT KILLED US ALL.

"Who wants to go to the pool?" I asked them, over breakfast, and then waited for my barrage of joyful, grateful, life-choices-affirming squeals. 

"Not me!" said Noah.

"No pool!" said Ezra.

"Okay, how about the...splash park?" I offered, even while I trembled in fear at the prospect of chasing them around a giant glorified water fountain all day with a baby strapped to my chest.

"No thanks," said Noah, as if I'd just offered him a complimentary toenail clipping.

"Uh-uh," said Ezra, with a similar level of enthusiasm. 

"Well, we could go to the mall? A playground? Go out for pizza? Ikea?" I was getting desperate. 

The boys had completely tuned me out by this point and were playing lightsaber battle with their cereal spoons. Finally, Ezra had an idea.

"I want to play in the BASEMENT!" he said, and Noah promptly agreed that this was a kickass, bitching idea, and off they went to basement playroom, a place I usually must beg and beg for them to pleeeeeease go amuse themselves for five measly minutes on any other day of the week.

(Ike's contribution to the proceedings: "Blarrrfffggh.") 

So. We haven't really done much today. Made some messes, ate some macaroni and cheese, sorted ourselves into Gryffindor...

Crossed the streams by flashing Star Trek hand signals while wearing Star Wars onesies...

Put our Paws Up...

Finally put on pants in an attempt to convince Mommy that we weren't at all tired...

Snuck out of our room while Mommy was showering to give a roll of toilet paper a bath in the sink...

Thus clogging the drain with disintegrated paper mush and overflowing the sink and flooding the floor...

Oops.

In the end, I think everybody* had fun after all. Other than the toilet paper.** 

*Noah is Not Pictured because he opted to remain sans pants most of the day.

**Perhaps we are dealing with a serial killer?