Starting To Sense My View of the World May Be Slightly Skewed
September 28, 2011
PART THE FIRST: ANGRY BIRD IS ANGRY, MENACING
Scene from Ezra's play kitchen this morning:
SOON.
OH YEAH? FUCK YOU, BIRD.
PART THE SECOND: ATTACK OF THE TURBO HORK
I am feeling better. But also wondering if Baby Ike had a touch of whatever THAT was, because dear God. IN HEAVEN, EVEN. The happy spitting/reflux/spewomatic reached epic proportions yesterday. Truly Exorcist-levels of bullshitvomit.
At some point in the afternoon I gave up on remaining upright and functional and crawled in bed with Ike, hoping he would maybe just let me lie there and doze for awhile if I kept my shirt off and let him drain my life force to his heart's content. He would nurse, then barf. Nurse, barf, nurse, barf. I kept staggering down the hall for more burp rags until I literally made him a nest out of a fresh half-dozen of the heavy duty ones, and still. STILL. We ended up scooting around the bed in search of a fresh dry patch, which would soon be similarly befouled.
It was disgusting. It put every hork-o-fest thus far to shame. And then he was all, "Well. That just happened. I'm hungry. More milk, please." And on and on it went. Jason came home and I handed him the baby and hid in the other room, counted back from three and...
HIM: HOLY SHIT IKE.
There is no point to this anecdote. I just needed someone else to be as grossed out as I was. Did it work?
(He has his four-month check-up early next week. We'll of course check his weight gain [which has always been perfect] and I will again try to explain that no, seriously, this kid's a milk geyser, HALP. Though last time he projectile puked all over my shoes right in front of the doctor and she was like, "Yep. I remember those days! They were fun!" And then handed me some paper towels.)
PART THE THIRD: HELP ME OUT HERE.
ME: Ike has Spock eyebrows.
HIM: What?
ME: Spock eyebrows! Like Spock!
HIM: ...
ME: SIGH. He only has the up part. Not the down part. SPOCK EYEBROWS.
HIM: Up part? What are you talking about?
SPOCK.
EYEBROWS.
This is not a difficult concept, amirite?
He doesn't have the pointy ears, though, so I'm guessing he's not totally Vulcan, maybe just part. Which of course begs the question: which of you guys has Vulcan ancestry?
I don't know about the eyebrows but that is one cute kid. Even with all the barf.
I see with the eyebrows and such. Spock eyebrows!
Sorry about the horking, and yes, I'm a leetle bit disgusted. But, I'm around two little germ-bomb-ick-carriers all day, so it is harder to gross me out than others.
~
Total Spock eyebrows. HAH! Also, the angry bird drumstick made me laugh so hard.
(The barf part has me sticking me fingers in my ears and going LALALALALA because I don't want you giving the baby in my belly any ideas.)
Total Spock eyebrows. HAH! Also, the angry bird drumstick made me laugh so hard.
(The barf part has me sticking me fingers in my ears and going LALALALALA because I don't want you giving the baby in my belly any ideas.)
A friend of mine (one of thooose stories) had both her children hork in the same manner till about a year. Feel free to shoot me angry eyes for this comment.
I'd be angry too if I were in a microwave...
As for the pukefest, one of my twin boys spit up like every 5 seconds until about two weeks before he turned 1. I literally matched his food to what he was wearing. Dark shirt = green/orange light shirt = bananas and applesauce for you.
But he did outgrow it. Eventually. Good luck. He's adorable though, eyebrows and all.
Cracking up as usual. yes, SPOCK EYEBROWS. I get it. And they're adorable.
Oh, the spit up baby...I had one of those. Any time anyone held him, he spit up all over them and they'd hand him back and go grab a hose all while saying something like 'wow that was a lot this time' like it was a singular incident, or they just happened to be holding him the time he spit up the most. ever. When in fact, it was just his typical yak that he did every 20 minutes. I feel your pain...it does end...the doctor drew me a picture of some squished belly insides saying that as he lengthened it'd stop. Maybe you have some magical pediatrician though, with some magic beans.... Although I think you used up all your magic on the cuteness factor...he is delicious!
Oh, the spit up baby...I had one of those. Any time anyone held him, he spit up all over them and they'd hand him back and go grab a hose all while saying something like 'wow that was a lot this time' like it was a singular incident, or they just happened to be holding him the time he spit up the most. ever. When in fact, it was just his typical yak that he did every 20 minutes. I feel your pain...it does end...the doctor drew me a picture of some squished belly insides saying that as he lengthened it'd stop. Maybe you have some magical pediatrician though, with some magic beans.... Although I think you used up all your magic on the cuteness factor...he is delicious!
Although they also resemble angry bird eyebrows ...
Definitely Spock eyebrows!
Not that it means shit, because they're all different, but my 3rd went from super barfer to magically stopping like SNAP! overnight @ 4 months old. My gf who knows things said 4ish months is a big digestive milestone when they may stop because there are big (enzyme?) things happening getting them ready for solids and sitting up. With my 2nd child, who I would describe as a mild barfer, it was 11 months. So yeah. Here's to hoping you're done sooner rather than later.
Not that it means shit, because they're all different, but my 3rd went from super barfer to magically stopping like SNAP! overnight @ 4 months old. My gf who knows things said 4ish months is a big digestive milestone when they may stop because there are big (enzyme?) things happening getting them ready for solids and sitting up. With my 2nd child, who I would describe as a mild barfer, it was 11 months. So yeah. Here's to hoping you're done sooner rather than later.
He's such a cute little puker though!!!
Cutest Spock eyebrows ever :)
And I love Ezra's Godfather-style subtle threat!
If you don't get out the eyebrow pencil and complete those Spock eyebrows simply for the photo op, then you're not the woman I think you are!
If you don't get out the eyebrow pencil and complete those Spock eyebrows simply for the photo op, then you're not the woman I think you are!
Yep. My "happy spitter" sounded like a frat boy puking on the floor right in front of the doctor and I thought, "Finally--they can see what I'm talking about!" I got the same response as you. Grrr.
And can I say that it makes me feel less gross to know that someone else just scoots away from the wet/gross spots on the bed instead of changing the sheets?
My latest yakking child stopped spitting up when she was about 9 months old, right when we started more table foods and switched to a #3 nipple. She just turned one and I think I might be able to buy nice clothes for myself again.
And yes, definitely Spock/angry bird eyebrows.
Although his eyebrows have yet to reach the severity of Spock's, it does appear that your child is at least part Vulcan. Did you see the new Spock? He's kind of adorable, and I'm sure Ike will be a cute grownup Vulcan too.
Totally see it.
Gah! Cute!
My much-loved pediatrician STILL won't do anything about my babies constant spitting up, because he's such a good weight-gainer, but now he's eating solids and is almost nine months old, so the "spitting up" is more like actual vomit. It's horrible.
My other kid spit up constantly too, but at least she stopped before she moved on to real food.
My "happy spitter" (never-ending puker) puked all over me in the pediatrician's office two days ago at his six month appointment. The doctor smiled and handed me some paper towels. Solids seem to be helping slightly but we both are still covered in vomit most of the time.
baby's. God.
I laughed so hard when reading this! Your Ike posts get me every time. I even make my husband come over to the computer so he can understand why I'm choking on air. He doesn't get it. Whatever. I really hope your feeling better, and Ike gets over whatever it is that makes him puke all the time!
If you manage to get a picture of him raising one eyebrow, Spock-style, I may actually pee my pants laughing (although granted this is not such an amazing feat at 7 1/2 months pregnant).
Yup. My kid was a puker, too. She grew out of it around 6 months. I remember this exactly b/c the photo of her from then on are the only ones where she's not wearing a bib. So maybe he'll grow out of it soon?
I just fell on the floor laughing about the Spock eyebrows. He is so damn cute. And you are hilarious.
I just fell on the floor laughing about the Spock eyebrows. He is so damn cute. And you are hilarious.
I think his eyebrows make him look a little more like Jason, where Ezra looks just like you and Noah looks like both.
Lol! My husband has those eyebrowns! We joke all the time that he looks like an angry bird or owl. I've never seen anyone else with eyebrows like it. Go Ike!
Ezra... AngryBird... Kitchen... BAHAHAHAHA
Please let him come decorate for my wedding. That would KICK. ASS.
Hey, Spock was a brilliant pediatrician, right?
Oh. Not that one?
Whatev. He's a pretty cute puker, there.
One of my best friends in high school had those eyebrows. He referred to them as his "devil brows". Ike is way cuter, obviously.
omg! i'm HOWLING over here!!
I do not miss those puking days one bit. Although, I didn't even have 1/100th of the puker you do. I once took my shirt off in a room full of moms because my son puked on me. I can't stand the smell.
So sorry you have to deal with that.
Hope Ike gets better soon for you, or at least projects his vomit away from you!
oh wow. i have 5 burp rags total, as in i don't have more than 5. my baby never spit up until he was 6 weeks old, now it happens occasionally, usually on my husband, go figure. i hope i didn't just jinx myself.
he's a cutie pie.
feel better!
Hahaha, I love the spock eyebrows reference, because it's so true! Somehow he still manages to be adorable, though! I love how expressive his face is :)
Is it wrong to want to eat a complete stanger's baby clean off of a computer screen? ...Spock eyebrows and all. Sorry about all of the sickiness and junkiness in your house. I feel for you. Only thing worse than sick children is mommy being sick at the same time. ugh!
They're also perfectly blond Uncle Leo eyebrows! Jerrrrrrrrrry!
They're also perfectly blond Uncle Leo eyebrows! Jerrrrrrrrrry!
I think you accomplished your goal because I am now slightly nauseous after reading that. Good job?
My third one (same age as Ike) is a happy spitter too.. . I wonder if I just produce a lot more milk than I ever did before. Also, sounds like Ike was comfort nursing his bellyache and then just yakking it back up again. I give up on wearing clothes that aren't stained! Someday. . .
Spockness for sure. And giving you the eye while thinking "Really? You want another picture?"
I heart baby Ike! His cute pics make my day....that and snuggling with my own 3 month old boy. Keep with it Lady..you are doing great!
Spock eyebrows...only having the 'up' part...NO Amalah this is SO not a difficult concept! One glance at the baby and I knew exactly what you were talking about....JASON!
sorry about the puke btw, sounds uchy.
This made me giggle, just as you usually do. I had to do a Google image search to compare Ike's eyebrows to Spock and looky here, Ike's picture appears on the second page of the image search! It is official, Google told me so.
Yeah.. the 'scooting around the bed looking for a dry spot' visual really took it to the next level.
This is a fantastic post- in triplicate, even.
I haven't read all of your comments regarding advice on the barf issue... but I can say that we had a similar experience with my first. But I ALWAYS let him nurse from both sides, at each opportunity. Once he began eating solids, and nursing less, it subsided (7 months?) With my second son, I only ever let him nurse from one side at a time. Still got down to the hind-milk... but just less in his belly at once overall.
Not sure if any of that helps, but still wanting to help. I remember having an incredible # of burp rags, too. More advice: burp them over the sink when possible. Easier clean-up.
If your boys ever play Lord of the Rings, I hope Ike gets to be the head elf guy. My two-month old very much resembles an angry elf when he gets out of the tub. And, come to think of it, Spock.
If your boys ever play Lord of the Rings, I hope Ike gets to be the head elf guy. My two-month old very much resembles an angry elf when he gets out of the tub. And, come to think of it, Spock.
If your boys ever play Lord of the Rings, I hope Ike gets to be the head elf guy. My two-month old very much resembles an angry elf when he gets out of the tub. And, come to think of it, Spock.
That first photo with the angry bird made my day.
Spock eyebrows = <3
Hope you both get well soon.
HOMG, I needed that laugh. Thank you :D
WAIT A MINUTE, HOLD THE PHONE!!!! He has the eyebrows of yellow angry bird!!! LOOOK!!!!
WAIT A MINUTE, HOLD THE PHONE!!!! He has the eyebrows of yellow angry bird!!! LOOOK!!!!
WAIT A MINUTE, HOLD THE PHONE!!!! He has the eyebrows of yellow angry bird!!! LOOOK!!!!
WAIT A MINUTE, HOLD THE PHONE!!!! He has the eyebrows of yellow angry bird!!! LOOOK!!!!
WAIT A MINUTE, HOLD THE PHONE!!!! He has the eyebrows of yellow angry bird!!! LOOOK!!!!
WAIT A MINUTE, HOLD THE PHONE!!!! He has the eyebrows of yellow angry bird!!! LOOOK!!!!
WAIT A MINUTE, HOLD THE PHONE!!!! He has the eyebrows of yellow angry bird!!! LOOOK!!!!
My youngest puked every. single. time. he had to poop. He'd hunker down somewhere, go red in the face, puke, then poop moments later. Good times.
He outgrew it by about 18 months. :-)
My first was a happy horker, but I put her on Zantac when she didn't quit it by a year. Now, I just tell them to give it to me at 4 months because every one of my babies has had some form of reflux. Mostly they do because I'm such a Crunchy Mommy, and they know it.
Yeah, I had a 'happy spitter'; he'd eat, bathe me, the bed and the wall with milky puke, blink, and then request more bosom. It makes for lots of funny anecdotes now, but at the time, it was a bit soul-destroying; I remember crying hysterically while sitting there with bra cups overbrimming with sick for the third time that day, meaning that I had no nursing bras which hadn't been soaked with vomit that day, and thinking 'It's not supposed to be like this!'
Agree with some of previous tips: try block-feeding and see if that helps, sleep on a pile of towels. Also, my doc advised against switching to formula because apparently it takes a lot longer to digest, meaning that even happy spitters can start losing weight.
ha!! Cutest barfing Baby Spock I've ever seen, hands down!
Amalah - Just wanted you to know that my husband and I (who are expecting our first little one in March) are equally amused and horrified by the hork-fest. We've also never heard of the word "hork" prior to reading your blog, and are now finding ways to incorporate it into our vocabulary.
Oh, and my husband totally agrees with you re: Ike and the Spock brows.
Oh, and my husband totally agrees w/ you on the Spock brows. He's a cutie, that Ike.
I remember feeling like a terrible mother because I secretly wished my baby had reflux, just so that there was a cure to his "happy spitter" geyser. The only cure we found was time. Hang in there!
Awesome Angry Bird.
My kids had the barf fest two weeks ago. I lucked out somehow - I hope. I'm banking on the idea that since I spent the first 3.5 years with our Maxx in the family being constantly, horribly miserable to the point I was sure I was allergic to him my immune system has now been exposed to every possible variant of every possible virus in the universe and can beat them all. Right?
I love the Spock eyebrows. Keep them.
Em was a reflux baby. Prilosec helped with the pain and weight loss(sounds like Ike doesn't have that), and getting up and walking at 9 mos fixed the mess. My furniture was covered in old quilts, as was the floor where she played. Good times, good times!
He IS a Spocky little turtle!
I feel your pain. I know it's a major inconvenience but feeding him in a more upright position will make a big difference. Gi doc dude told me not to feed my happy puker with her laying down. Holding her up for 20 min after each feeding was torture put helped with the puking BIG TIME. Putting baby in an exersauser after feeding when I couldn't hold her helped. (exersauser is better than swing b/c his legs aren't up at an angle.)
I feel your pain. I know it's a major inconvenience but feeding him in a more upright position will make a big difference. Gi doc dude told me not to feed my happy puker with her laying down. Holding her up for 20 min after each feeding was torture put helped with the puking BIG TIME. Putting baby in an exersauser after feeding when I couldn't hold her helped. (exersauser is better than swing b/c his legs aren't up at an angle.)
When you go to your next appointment, ask about Pyloric Stenosis. Both my husband and my son had it and it is easy to fix with a small operation. The number one symptom is projectile vomiting. My son went from puking after every feeding to not even spitting up.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001965/
When you go to your next appointment, ask about Pyloric Stenosis. Both my husband and my son had it and it is easy to fix with a small operation. The number one symptom is projectile vomiting. My son went from puking after every feeding to not even spitting up.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001965/
He is the cutest baby!!!!
He is the cutest baby!!!!
My husband constantly complains about our 5 month old's "spit up". Ok, so occasionally she has white drool coming out of her mouth. God. I need to show him this post so he understands how lucky we are.
We did get a week of horrible horking when we switched from breastmilk to formula when she was 2 months old - talk about making me rethink that decision. Luckily all the puke happened on my husband, which may be why he is worried now, but at the same time, can't he see the difference between then and now?
Yeah, Spock eyebrows. Until you look at the first picture for a second time. That's when I, at least, decided he also looks like Stewie Griffin.
Sorry about the barfing. And sorry that I didn't read the millionty comments before asking if you've talked to your doctor about pyloric stenosis.
Yeah, Spock eyebrows. Until you look at the first picture for a second time. That's when I, at least, decided he also looks like Stewie Griffin.
Sorry about the barfing. And sorry that I didn't read the millionty comments before asking if you've talked to your doctor about pyloric stenosis.
What kind of kitchen is that? Super cute...looks much nicer than the plastic ones I keep seeing.
The baby's hair looks so cute. And his eyes are so amazing. Thank you for sharing this.
Even with the eyebrows, still too cute! My kid had cartoon eyebrows. Always looked like he was appraising you...
Even with the eyebrows, still too cute! My kid had cartoon eyebrows. Always looked like he was appraising you...
Even with the eyebrows, still too cute! My kid had cartoon eyebrows. Always looked like he was appraising you...