DON'T BE FOOLED
October 24, 2011
Yeah, yeah. Wookit the wittle face with the big eyes and the round cheeks and the blond hair and blah blah blah, this child BIT ME SO HARD this weekend that I kept checking the front of my shirt for blood afterwards. At first my shrieking startled him and I thought he was going to cry -- his eyes went all extra-Precious-Moments on me and his bottom lip began to tremble -- and then after a few seconds of studying my wincing-face-of-pain expression, he decided it was all terribly funny and laughed while I struggled to determine whether or not he'd broken skin on the underside of my boob. And did I mention this was all happening in the parking lot at Whole Foods? Greetings, hippies and fellow earth mothers! Say hello to MY BREASTS: THE OTHER OTHER WHITE MEAT.
I am currently sporting two teeth marks and one large angry bruise on my left boob.
(WORST TWILIGHT FANFIC EVER.)