Yeah, yeah. Wookit the wittle face with the big eyes and the round cheeks and the blond hair and blah blah blah, this child BIT ME SO HARD this weekend that I kept checking the front of my shirt for blood afterwards. At first my shrieking startled him and I thought he was going to cry -- his eyes went all extra-Precious-Moments on me and his bottom lip began to tremble -- and then after a few seconds of studying my wincing-face-of-pain expression, he decided it was all terribly funny and laughed while I struggled to determine whether or not he'd broken skin on the underside of my boob. And did I mention this was all happening in the parking lot at Whole Foods? Greetings, hippies and fellow earth mothers! Say hello to MY BREASTS: THE OTHER OTHER WHITE MEAT.
I am currently sporting two teeth marks and one large angry bruise on my left boob.
(WORST TWILIGHT FANFIC EVER.)