Like many ineffective parents, we use a token/incentive system to bribe our children into behaving. If you can make it through a few paltry basic tasks without losing your everloving shit for no apparent reason, we will award you with a shiny magnetic star.
Accumulate enough of these shiny magnetic stars throughout the week by doing advanced manuevers in civilization (like "put your clothes on your body" and "hygiene" and "eat enough non-chocolatey sustenance to keep your organs functioning"), and you shall be rewarded with the prize of your choice.
Oh my God, you guys. My kids are the biggest nerds.
The "Bad Guy Ship" that Ezra -- who is a mere three years old, may I remind you -- wants?
Would be this one. The Klingon Bird-of-Prey, as seen in Star Trek III: The Search For Spock.
(Note: Please don't tell him that Bad Guy Ships don't actually say "ROAR." It's cute and I'm allowing it.)
Noah wants the "Pointy Ship," also known as the Narada, Nero's Romulan mining vessel from Star Trek (2009).
BEWARE MY FEARSOME POINTINESS
Noah is particularly keen on reaching his goal this week, since he's already constructed the Romulan drill out of Legos and figured out how to make a black hole out of a t-shirt.
SPOILER ALERT #1:
The ships have already been purchased in anticipation of the boys' success. (Along with some likely candidates for next week's objects of Star Chart desire.) The wait to get them out of the boxes may be killing Jason a little bit.
SPOILER ALERT #2:
Oh, Baby Ike. You are just so doomed to inevitable dorkdom in this house.