Merry Belated Everything!
Mr. Fixit

The Christmas That Ate Everything

As in, ALL THE FOOD. ALL THE COOKIES. ALL THE WINE. ALL THE BRAIN CELLS.

Xmas2011-13

Hello! And happy 2012. Sorry for slacking off last week. After Instagramming the shit out of Christmas Day, I guess I got distracted by our hosting duties, my new-found mastery at making pâte à choux and filling it with horribly fattening delicious things, and Noah's pleas to assemble ALL THE LEGOS.

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If you ain't no punk holla We Want Legos WE WANT LEGOS!

The Spongebob house (worst set EVER, was missing a ton of pieces and will fall apart if you breathe on it too hard) was a brief diversion from the True Meaning Of Christmas, however, which was:

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STAR TREK

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MORE STAR TREK

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GOOD GOD COULD THERE BE ANY MORE STAR TREK IN THIS PICTURE

(Judging from the complete Enterprise Bridge Model Playset with Poseable Action Figures and Various Other Impossibly Tiny Pieces currently taking over my entire living room floor, the answer is YES.)

Xmas2011-05

"It's not that big, I don't think," my mom texted me re: this cardboard spaceship. Lies! Such lies!

My mom was actually the one who had to go to the emergency room on Christmas eve. Her calf and ankle were swollen after she arrived on the train and kept getting worse so I insisted we go and check it out. "I Googled!" she protested. "It's nothing!" (Again with the lies!) I didn't even have to Google that one to know exactly what WebMD article would come up first. Never challenge a blogger to a Google-off, people. YOU WILL LOSE. GET IN THE CAR.

(Two ER visits and two ultrasounds later, it was diagnosed as a Sprain Of Mystery and not a blood blot.)

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This family, right?

Xmas2011-06

Ike spent the week acquiring eleventy billion new teeth, no exaggeration.

(Slight exaggeration: He now has seven. SEVEN.)

He also did more than his fair share of eating all the food. Parsnips, carrots, peas, zucchini, pears, yams, celery root with potato, green beans with mint, a little Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.

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OMG IT'S THE CATERPILLAR I BARFED ON IN THE STORE THAT TIME NO WAY U GUYS.

After Christmas the second wave of family arrived, including my five-year-old nephew, so the real feats of strength could commence. And the beatings. And the "stop that, you guys, stop that, somebody's going to get hurt, stop that."

(THUMP.)

(WAAAIIIIILLLLLLLS.)

(REPEAT.)

I think someone said something to me about "wow, I guess this is what it would be like with three boys" before it registered on their face that OH RIGHT THE BABY. But I may have imagined that comment because you know what it's like with three boys? Drunk. All the time. As much as possible. 

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(Kidding.)

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(It's mostly full of stuff like this.)

Anyway! It's good to be back, little blog! But now I must be off because I promised the kids we'd go bowling one more time before school starts tomorrow. Then I have to get ready for another IEP meeting this week and lose 20 pounds of pâte à choux-related ass. I know. So much excitement going on with this rockstar lifestyle of ours, it's incredible that I can even find the time to type it all out sometimes. 

Comments

Audrey

I can't even explain the jealousy I have for the Star Trek toys. I can't wait for my kids to be juuuust a little older. EEE!

Stephanie

But pâte à choux is soooo good and so worth the related ass (so are duck fat-fried potatoes, which were on my Christmas menu). It's so interesting to get a glimpse of life with boys. Because in my house everything is pink, and with another girl on the way, my mom decided a little wooden pink baby grand piano would fit perfectly. Glad you had a great Christmas and that your mom's ankle is just a sprain.

solitarysunrise

Our living room had also been taken over by that same rocket ship. Just got booted today and was replaced by a giant ass indoor trampoline. I may get space in my house back sometime in the next 20 years or so...

ash

We went Star Trek/Harry Potter this year. I am not sure if I envy you that spaceship, you let me know in a few weeks. Where did you you get the PJ's, please? They are perfection. Happy New Year!

Sarah

Brandy with a fried egg on top, served in a space ship. That's how kings live.

Overflowing Brain (Katie)

You're going to do a pâte à choux how to post right? RIGHT?

(Please?)

Layla

I'm super jealous of all the Star Trek loot.

Baby Ike has more teeth than my 14-month-old.

Christine H

That cardboard shuttle (right? it looks like a shuttle) is perfection! Oh to be a kid again.

Rachel

You have OUTDONE yourself in 2012. That had me laughing (prolonged, read-it-again laughing) so hard! You are truly hilarious. The caption of Ike with the caterpillar? 20 pounds of pâte à choux-related ass?? *snort!* God, I love you!

Kris

*sniggle* Google-off. I love you.

(And relieved it was "only" a mystery sprain & not the dreadful blood clots.)

Christine

Love the jammies. So cute.

Thrift Store Mama

Favorite quote: "I think someone said something to me about "wow, I guess this is what it would be like with three boys" before it registered on their face that OH RIGHT THE BABY."

Ba ha ha ha ha

Zaitel

That just sounds wonderful, even with the mini ER visit. Good old WebMD on the internet, never believe in it for the LOVE OF GOD. I had my own experience and freaked myself out over a sprain back (forget what it told me it was).

We do appriciate the time you take to tell us about the crazyness you go through! HAPPY NEW YEARS!

Liz

You didn't even talk about the matching pjs! THE MATCHING PJS!

Laura

Love the legos...staying at the in-laws as we were, we had to do all of my HUSBAND'S Legos. Circa. 1980. You have no idea. Thank god for those handy manuals, but OH! The missing and mismatched pieces!!!

Brooks

Welcome back. Looks like Santa was particularly generous to all.

Kristin

I totally <3 your boys and the Star Trek obsession.

As for life with three boys, life is never, ever boring and you'll ALWAYS have something to blog about.

tracey just another mom

I love the hat.

And the Star Trek stuff is SO COOL. I'll bet Noah starts a trend back into the Trek stuff now. Just you wait and see.

Jesabes

I love the matching Christmas PJs!

JAF

Star Trek makes some appearance at every Christmas in our family. Even this year there was a DVD of some sort. We have buckets and buckets of "figgers," as my kids called them when they were little like your boys. To demonstrate our true geekiness, at some point we even created an Excel spreadsheet of all the figures and their accessories. I have threatened to send the figures, trading cards, and simulated communicators to my oldest son, now a sophomore in college. As president of the astronomy club you can imagine his response, "Make it so, Numba 1" (H/T to Jean Luc Picard).

Elaine

I want that cardboard spaceship so damn bad.

Kathryn

This is probably the wrong thing to take from your post, but you inspired me to look for a recipe for pate a choux...I think I've found the perfect way to break in my new mixer! And the easiest way to make my ass even fatter!

Arnebya

Ike is such a...boy now. Such a nonbaby. An uninfant. That's so wrong. Wrong plus seven teeth. Happy new year! Fill it with Star Trek (IF THAT'S MORE POSSIBLE!)

Cy

JAF!! My boys also called them "figgers!" And I also have a sophomore in college! But, sadly, he is not president of the Astronomy Club. Once when he asked for Star Wars figgers, his aunt obliged him with Star TREK figgers. Wonder if we still have them somewhere...Looks like a wonderful Xmas, Amy. Glad your mom is ok.

Sue W.

Is it wrong of me to want Ez's Angry Birds hat?!

Chris

The Angry Birds hat is pretty amazing.

I also love how really small kids are surprised by something they get to unwrap that they were playing with 10 minutes before. And watched you wrap up.

Glad you had a nice Christmas!

sheilah

Matching PJs...priceless...

Kimm

What a great Christmas. I know it was kind of bittersweet at times, but you sound so happy in this post. I used to read your blog before Noah, and since the kids you really seem so very happy, it makes me want to have more and my boy is only 9 months:)

nicole

Ok, WHERE did you get that hat!?

linka72

Oh pleeeeze baybee geesuss..let me wear Baby Ike's pajamas to bed tonight!!!

Elaine

I know this is not the point of the post but OMG how cute are the boys' PJs!!

victorianaudi

SEVEN teeth? My eight month old has none!

ash

Fer reels, where did the PJ's come from? Mine wore white turtle necks and blue jeans. I use Children's Place pretty exclusively, I'm wondering if you found another good place for clothes??

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