Fruit of the Looms
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The Existential Dilemma of SHINY THINGS!

So. Okay. You guys know I don't really do paid product reviews and giveaways all that much -- and not entirely for any MAH BLOG MAH INTEGRITY credo thing, but more because 1) I don't think I'm very good at them, and 2) they really interrupt the flow of "talking non-stop about myself" I've had running non-stop here, for eight straight years. 

That said, I will do sponsored posts, so long as ME ME ME I MUST FIND A WAY TO MAKE IT ALL ABOUT ME, or at least tangentially related to the usual crap I write about. It's an incredibly complicated personal algorithm I employ every time a potential sponsored post opportunity comes up, and it usually comes down to my confidence level re: Will I Be Able To Work In A Reference To Baby Poop? 


TL;DR version: Hi! This is a sponsored post. 

The lovely folks at JewelMint wanted to send me some jewelry, and at first I was like MAH BLOG MAH INTEGR...wait, did you say jewelry? I MEAN GIDDY UP.

The site doesn't you jewelry, though. First you're asked to create a "personal style profile" by clicking on photos of celebrities you like and which shoes you'd wear for a night on the town and which handbag is your favorite. I guess at first I completely panicked because none of the options were 1) burp rag chic, 2) bedroom slippers, or 3) I don't know, whichever bag has a thingamabob to clip my car keys to and also room for three dozen slightly-different versions of Lightning McQueen cars and seven half-empty lip glosses in the exact same shade of Shiny Pinkish Neutral.

So I possibly may have chosen photos that were a tad too aspirational, as my original style profile apparently thought I was Lady Gaga.

I tried again with a slightly more honest take on my current level of fashion slobitude and ended up with better suggestions the second time around. And as a nice bonus feature, all the jewelry suggestions come paired with a sample outfit and some additional ideas for where and how to wear it. WEAR THIS WITH JEANS, FOOL. AND THIS ONE WITH A DRESS AND SOME DIGNITY. 

So since I assume JewelMint reached out to me for, you know, mom-audience-related reasons (as opposed to my WELL-KNOWN fashion icon status among the "pajamas are clothing too" set), I figured I would help them out and provide some customized, real-world styling ideas for some of the jewelry I liked best:


Picture 109

Slide this dramatic yet versatile cuff on and get lost in a daydream about the last time you managed to see an actual grown-up movie in the actual movie theater. (And no, Kung Fu Panda 2 doesn't count; I don't care if the part about the mommy panda made you cry.)

WEAR WITH: Pants. Any pants. Dear God, just please put on some pants.


Picture 104
This brilliantly understated jewelry set is too small to attract the notice of your baby, guaranteeing that it you will make it through the entire day without getting your earrings ripped out of your earlobe.

WEAR TO: The grocery store. Like a rebel. RISING.


Picture 107

What? Sometimes you just want a big ass hunk of bling. Bonus features of this piece include drops of color to both educate and fascinate your preschooler. He'll learn several new colors AND an important lesson about how Not All Things That Look Like Candy Are Candy, Son, all at the same time.

WEAR WITH: The "Constance From American Horror Story" dress that your husband got you for Christmas, because he just gets you, man.


Picture 106

The delicate filigree of this statement ring gives it a wonderful vintage flair, while the large black glass diamond will remind you of a time long ago, in the age of pre-kid disposable income, when you not-so-secretly hoped for fancy jewelry for your birthday instead of a Dyson Vacuum.

WEAR TO: Parent-teacher conferences. 


Picture 108
This simple antiqued brass bracelet goes with everything. And I mean everything. Jeans, t-shirts, dinosaur rainboots, Angry Birds hats, Jedi robes, Spongebob pajamas, etc. My three-year-old keeps stealing this one from me, is what I am saying. 

WEAR WITH: Your superwoman cape. Barring that, pants. 

If you'd like to check out JewelMint, you can get 50% off any piece of jewelry by entering AMALAH as a promo code. (First-time buyers only, code expires 1/31/12)

If you'd like to WIN a free piece of jewelry (anything of your own personal style profile choosing!), just leave a comment on this here post by Friday, 1/13/12 at noon EST. Winner will be selected randomly -- just make sure to leave a valid email address I can ping you at.




HA! Love this post. And, I'm wearing pants! :)


That site could get really, really dangerous very quickly for me.


I MUST have the Midas ring. Or anything really.


By far one of the best sponsored posts evah! You're dignity remains in tact lady.

Laura Lou

Jewelry? Yippee!


I'm not sure I read any of this because I was distract by shiny! things! Wheeeee!


That sounds like a cool site. I always want to wear accessories, but I never know what goes with what.


Pretty stuff! um, yes, please
also? SHINY!


not only is it perfect for moms, but also for PreK teachers who are surrounded day in and day out by swarms of children!

allison hirschmann

Love the bling bling! Loved black swan too...

Michelle S.

Oooh, shiny things. They get me every time!


If the baby doesn't wear pants, I'm not either!


I love your jewelry descriptions. And I'm going to check out their site :)

Life of a Doctor's Wife

Jewelry!! I think I could put on some pants if it meant I got a new bracelet.


Are pants really all that necessary?


Shiny! I love the black swan cuff!


I never wear bracelets--they clank against my keyboard--but I do love a pretty cocktail ring!

sonja lange

you are by far one of my favorite bloggers


This mama needs something shiny-pretty!




Hmm. These types of profile questions always make me wish there was a "none of the above" option. I don't feel like some of the questions had options that were particularly representative of my Banana Republic/Target sartorial sensibilities.


Well you did a great job with this post.


i, honestly, dont have pants on. or style. so..... :)


On the plus side, JewelMint stuff is so fabulously shiny. On the minus side, it breaks really easily and tends to look cheaper in reality than on the website. On the plus side, if your kids steal it from you or you lose it, it's no big deal! Just buy moar cheap jewelry!

The Other Laura

Never pass up an opportunity for free shiny things!


I would like something shiny. I need a fashion upgrade - the only jewelry I wear now is my watch.


While I am forced to wear pants daily, let it be known that I am not happy about it!


you have such great taste! I think I've found a new addiction. Thanks!


I have on pants and a bra - pick me pick me!!!

Sara Nelson

Love how you integrated the jewelry into your lifestyle.


I WILL BE RISING. Especially at work as an f-you to office frumpiness!

(are Canadians eligible for this?)


Love the madison avenue ring and the midas ring

Alicia CP

What if I wear leggings as pants! Ha! I'm sooo funny. (If you saw how I looked in leggings, you'd laugh too.)

Okay, I hope I win!


That looks awesome!

Jessica V.

In LOVE with the Midas ring. Sadly embarrassed that my profile answers were largely based on the same algorithm I use for March Madness picks (i.e., close my eyes and point). I'm not at all familiar with most of the designers, but it was fun to see what it came up with!


These look like pieces I could actually wear! I'm thinking the bracelts are the best bet so my earlobs stay intact and safe from my 7 month olds grasp.


I'm so lazy about buying and wearing jewelry, but I'm going to go check out that site now. You had me at 50% off!


Love your blog, love your descriptions of the jewelry and what they go with. cracks me up.


I love the Rebel Rising jewelry. It speaks to me. Mostly because I'm tired of getting my earrings yanked by little hands. lol

Linda Johnson

I love your blog....and I have on pants.


Nice bracelets! Thanks

Call Me Jo

Oooh, ooh. Pretty things.




Where is the Constance dress from? It is gorge!


me me me! Something that matches old navy flannel pajama pants..


off to create my style profile right now!


Does it come with a personal stylist as well?


Ooh, love jewelry. And I occasionally wear pants with it. When I'm not wearing my wonder woman outfit (read: sweats).


so pretty AND with the last one just turning three I am ready to wear pretty things again!


I haven't worn jewelry since my oldest was might be a nice change.


Would love something for free & this place looks like teh awesome! (De-lurking for once!)

Nancy Gould

Hooray! I love sparklies. :)

Chris Sanborn

I'm commenting! Gimme gimme!! :)


I'm a glutton for a good sparkle-things website. Especially one where the "picking things" is done for me! Lazier internet shopping. Woohooo!


These pieces are great!

Love your posts as always!


Those are all very pretty and thanks for the reminder to go put on pants. There are construction workers outside my windows right now and my yoga pants are going to cut it all fricking day.


Jewelry be damned... you make me laugh my ASS off!


Would I like some free jewelry? umm, yes please! both the bracelets are awesome, thanks for doing this!


ooh I would love some free pretty jewelry!


I would love to win a piece of jewelry, especially if they can help me find something to go with my PajamaJeans.


That dress is FANTASTIC. And the answer to shiny things is pretty much always YES.


As I'm wearing pants right now, I can say definitively they're entirely overrated.


That is really awesome looking jewelry.


Love! Esp the web lace ring. Thank you for taking time out from talking about baby poop.


I recently mentioned to my mom that I wish I was one of those put together moms that have jewelry to match outfits. But what would match my old Air Force PT shirt or my Tinkerbell pj pants that I'm wearing now?


I really like the polar ends bracelet, but I still haven't figured out if I could pull off a BIGASS ring...

Sara M

I really like the black swan cuff, but it doesn't show up on my profile.

I have to wear pants everyday since I work in an office, but at night and weekends, it's sweats and jammies!

Robin from Israel

Ooooh, I'm wearing pants! Old yoga pants with a ratty hoodie and slippers, but hey, the pants are on. (And my kids aren't even toddlers anymore so I only have my own slovenliness as an excuse. I was exercising a few hours ago, does that count?)

My photography is available for purchase - visit Around the Island Photography on etsy and Society6 and bring home something beautiful today!

Amy K

That Polar Ends bracelet is pretty nifty.

EllieMae the black swan cuff. Colour me bling and count me in!


By the end of the very nice 1 1/2 week Christmas break, I was starting to master the sweats/jammies all day look. Then, it was back to work and real pants with zippers and buttons.


Even if you weren't giving away free jewelry I would have commented - this sounds great! I am completely accessory-inept and need the help. Thank you!!!


Good God, I am *not* wearing pants!!!!

That doesn't mean that the lace ring totally brings me back to my wannabe gothgirl days. In today's lingo (or maybe that's already so 2000's again?), totally team Edward. I think. Right?

Shelly T.

I love the black swan bracelet! Fancy!


I was just thinking to myself how I should accessorize more b/c my wardrobe is super boring... this would help :)




I love the polar ends bracelet!


Thanks for the awesome tip!


I telecommute, am pregnant and have two kids under 5... so I think some bling would be appreciated, but am very much in the PJs as clothes camp.

Amy in StL

The rebel set reminds me of a set of jewelry that is also functional levels that I've had bookmarked forever. Also, I'm wearing pants - which is good since I'm in my grey cube at work.... they frown on no pants.

Jess F.

Hi Amy! Please randomly pick me! I would be wearing pants in my infant hadn't just horked on me. I knew I'd be seeing that sweet potato with white beans crap again. I love you!


Oh my! This will be a wonderful site, especially since I have issues with accessorizing.


My credit card company thanks you.


Free jewelry?? Why yes, sign me up please! This stuff looks super.


Love the post. Love the jewels.


The Rebel Rising earrings look like they should be worn while peeing on a stick.


Did you say shiny?


I'd love to win one, though I don't think any of them match sweat pants and tank tops. Maybe some day I'll dress up again.


I really do need to take a little (any at all would be an improvement) effort with regard to my appearance. I've recently been searching around the internet to find stuff that I would actually wear that would update me, decorate me, and make me feel less like a slob. All the pics shown were really pretty :)


Pick me!


Hey, at least give-a-ways let you know how many creepers - lurkers - non-commenters you have!


Pick me! I like winning!


ooooo...sparkles :) I don't own a cape, but I'd still like some jewelry!


ooooo...sparkles :) I don't own a cape, but I'd still like some jewelry!


Love the web ring! It makes me think Spiderman meets Betty White.


Oh! I can't wait to go check this site out!


I actually enjoy wearing jewelry, though no one told me that when I had a child, the jewelry wearing would stop for a long, long time.


Just in the process of developing a new algorithm myself - just retired and trying to decide if getting dressed on a daily basis is really worth it. I do wear pants if I go out - but NONE of the dressy pants I had to wear to work. Shiny stuff would help, I think.

Sarah M

You crack me up! I have a 5-week-old and a 2-year-old so my current fashion style revolves around boob access. But who says you can't dress that up with a little bling?


ooh shiny! I love the polar ends bracelet and midas ring!

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