Fruit of the Looms
Looks Like Somebody Needs His Own Blog

The Existential Dilemma of SHINY THINGS!

So. Okay. You guys know I don't really do paid product reviews and giveaways all that much -- and not entirely for any MAH BLOG MAH INTEGRITY credo thing, but more because 1) I don't think I'm very good at them, and 2) they really interrupt the flow of "talking non-stop about myself" I've had running non-stop here, for eight straight years. 

That said, I will do sponsored posts, so long as ME ME ME I MUST FIND A WAY TO MAKE IT ALL ABOUT ME, or at least tangentially related to the usual crap I write about. It's an incredibly complicated personal algorithm I employ every time a potential sponsored post opportunity comes up, and it usually comes down to my confidence level re: Will I Be Able To Work In A Reference To Baby Poop? 


TL;DR version: Hi! This is a sponsored post. 

The lovely folks at JewelMint wanted to send me some jewelry, and at first I was like MAH BLOG MAH INTEGR...wait, did you say jewelry? I MEAN GIDDY UP.

The site doesn't you jewelry, though. First you're asked to create a "personal style profile" by clicking on photos of celebrities you like and which shoes you'd wear for a night on the town and which handbag is your favorite. I guess at first I completely panicked because none of the options were 1) burp rag chic, 2) bedroom slippers, or 3) I don't know, whichever bag has a thingamabob to clip my car keys to and also room for three dozen slightly-different versions of Lightning McQueen cars and seven half-empty lip glosses in the exact same shade of Shiny Pinkish Neutral.

So I possibly may have chosen photos that were a tad too aspirational, as my original style profile apparently thought I was Lady Gaga.

I tried again with a slightly more honest take on my current level of fashion slobitude and ended up with better suggestions the second time around. And as a nice bonus feature, all the jewelry suggestions come paired with a sample outfit and some additional ideas for where and how to wear it. WEAR THIS WITH JEANS, FOOL. AND THIS ONE WITH A DRESS AND SOME DIGNITY. 

So since I assume JewelMint reached out to me for, you know, mom-audience-related reasons (as opposed to my WELL-KNOWN fashion icon status among the "pajamas are clothing too" set), I figured I would help them out and provide some customized, real-world styling ideas for some of the jewelry I liked best:


Picture 109

Slide this dramatic yet versatile cuff on and get lost in a daydream about the last time you managed to see an actual grown-up movie in the actual movie theater. (And no, Kung Fu Panda 2 doesn't count; I don't care if the part about the mommy panda made you cry.)

WEAR WITH: Pants. Any pants. Dear God, just please put on some pants.


Picture 104
This brilliantly understated jewelry set is too small to attract the notice of your baby, guaranteeing that it you will make it through the entire day without getting your earrings ripped out of your earlobe.

WEAR TO: The grocery store. Like a rebel. RISING.


Picture 107

What? Sometimes you just want a big ass hunk of bling. Bonus features of this piece include drops of color to both educate and fascinate your preschooler. He'll learn several new colors AND an important lesson about how Not All Things That Look Like Candy Are Candy, Son, all at the same time.

WEAR WITH: The "Constance From American Horror Story" dress that your husband got you for Christmas, because he just gets you, man.


Picture 106

The delicate filigree of this statement ring gives it a wonderful vintage flair, while the large black glass diamond will remind you of a time long ago, in the age of pre-kid disposable income, when you not-so-secretly hoped for fancy jewelry for your birthday instead of a Dyson Vacuum.

WEAR TO: Parent-teacher conferences. 


Picture 108
This simple antiqued brass bracelet goes with everything. And I mean everything. Jeans, t-shirts, dinosaur rainboots, Angry Birds hats, Jedi robes, Spongebob pajamas, etc. My three-year-old keeps stealing this one from me, is what I am saying. 

WEAR WITH: Your superwoman cape. Barring that, pants. 

If you'd like to check out JewelMint, you can get 50% off any piece of jewelry by entering AMALAH as a promo code. (First-time buyers only, code expires 1/31/12)

If you'd like to WIN a free piece of jewelry (anything of your own personal style profile choosing!), just leave a comment on this here post by Friday, 1/13/12 at noon EST. Winner will be selected randomly -- just make sure to leave a valid email address I can ping you at.




Ooh! Shiny! Count me in!


I would pick something that can easily transition from work clothes to pajamas because after work I head to my bedroom to grab the pajamas that I threw on the floor that morning. I'm so glad my husband loves me for more than my sexiness.




Very fun giveaway. What person doesn't like jewelry? Lame people not reading this website - thats who.


Loved almost everything I saw!


love this idea - I've been coveting some new jewelery for a while now, baby be damned!


I'd love some new jewelry to go with the new (bigger) work pants I just had to buy because I just got back from maternity leave and, sadly, my pre-preg work pants don't fit yet. It probably has nothing to do with all the cheese I'm eating, right?


Love the idea of free stuff! This post will have a great deal of comments!


Love these pieces! Love this site - awesome idea for a fashion-challenged gal like me!


All my finest jewels come from Target. What I'm saying is, I would love some free jewelry!

Laura Menard

I need to know what looks you picked to get the jewelry selected for you! I love all of yours and hate mine!


Ok you are always funny but this one really caught me, I so love your humor! Particularly when it comes with the chance at free jewelry!


Even though I never win anything - I'd sure love to win! Mommy likes sparkly things! Pick me! Pick me! :)

LD's Mom

Pretty sure you didn't work poop into that post, but I loved it anyway!


I would like a shiny thing. Because I am like a squirrel.


Ooh I love the Black Swan Cuff. So shiny!


I love that bracelet, I've never seen anything quite like it before!


I just started a job where I am forced to wear pants everyday...and I have unlimited web access while bored in a cublicle, I think I may get my self into some trouble with this website...


I could waste sooo much money at that website. That web filigree ring is gorgeous.


I'd love to win something from JewelMint!


Ah what the hell, I can surprise my girl if I actually win (I have bad luck with contest anyways)


I'm fully admitting that I was only going to skim this until I saw shiny things. =x


Cool site! Can't wait to check it out. ;)


Being recently returned to my office job post baby #3, I could stand a little grown up fashiony goodness.


Love jewelry that goes with jeans to the store or to have a drink, versatile is what I'm saying!


There was a point last year when I realized that it had been years, YEARS since I put on earrings. I try to do it every day now, even if they're the same ones for weeks on end.


I don't usually wear bracelets but I am so in love with the black swan cuff! And I wear nothing but pants, so perfect!


Shiny things are nice.


Love the jewelry you picked. Super cute stuff, yo!


you are such a great writer. Somehow you take what is basically a big long ad and make me devour every word. you're awesome!


I loooove your choices, and now I must have them for myself!

Jess @ It's Jess!

Love this website! And I'm going to kill you and steal that Constance dress off of your corpse.

That sounded way more creepy than I intended it to.

jennifer morris

oh, shiny and free together would make me a happy mama!!


The discount code isn't working for me. :(


Wahoo! Free is up my alley.

Do they have anything for the 'stuck in a job they hate' and overly tired style? That would be me.


This is awesome! That black swan bracelet is so chic.


I like all of these pieces. On another note, I really hate that bloggers have to worry about their integrity when it comes to sponsored posts. I think the goal is to earn money or products that you don't have to spend your money on by writing, right? So what's the problem with sponsored posts? I just don't get it.




I'd love to win! This was a great post btw.


Hey look, something shiny. Oh wait, it's my pants.

Cindy G

Love it all. Hope I win!


Yummy! Sparkly stuff makes mOmmy happy.

Christina R.

Shiny! Pretties!


This website looks awesome. I am also in the pjs are clothes camp. I'd love a little bling to help spice things up!


oh, oh, oh, pick me! Pick me!


Hahaha the "wear to parent-teacher conference" really made me chuckle.. and I was reading it on my phone at my mom and dad's house.. mom raised an eyebrow, but I didn't bother to explain it to her haha. And i agree, you can only set your borders to some extent.. I mean, free blingies!!


Cool jewelry. I love shiny giveaways : )

The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful

I judge not. I am a jewelry, clothing whore. I keep soliciting Boden to solicit me. I've offered posts, tweets and whatever sexual favors anyone may be in need of. I want to SELL MY SOUL for a Favorite Fucking Cardigan.


Can't wait to check out that site!


I think Jason wins because: A Husband? Who can pick out a fab dress for his wife!?!? Incredible! And also, congratulations.


Ooooh! That Black Swan cuff would match even my pajama pants!


Amazing. I would like some new jewels. To make me pretty.


Oooooh. SHINY. Now what was I supposed to be doing???


Pants are awesome!


Pants-check! Jewelry-sadly lacking.


Pick me! I have the best intentions towards jewelry but usually just end up with my wedding rings and a watch. Still...I keep hoping someday.


LOVE that black swan bracelet! checking out the website right now...


What a great site! I haven't purchased, or received jewelry in.. oh, wow, like 10 years.

Donna P

Bling me!


Giddy up indeed! But I don't know if I should win since at 4 months postpartum I am still working on the pants thing...


Pants....that sounds about like my usual style. I like it!

Plus I love that you can make a shameless "Hey look at this cool stuff and maybe buy some" post still something I wanted to read. Go you!


Pants are overrated! But I guess for free jewlery I could put on some pants.


Very pretty.


I usually don't like fashion sponsored posts because I don't feel "cool enough" to relate to them....BUT, I liked this one! I would wear those things!! I liked the Polar Ends bracelet and the Black Swan cuff in particular.


Free jewelry?! OK!


I rarely wear any jewelry but could definitely go for some free bling. Thanks!


Love this stuff!! Disappointed I would have to wear pants with some of it though. Do pj pants count?


Loving the Philips and Regular set.


I like shiny things! And I made it out of sweatpants before lunch today!


I've heard of Jewelmint, but this is the first time I think I've seen the actual type of jewelry they have. I actually like all of the pieces you posted!

Julie Williams

I loooove that cuff!
And is it just me (haven't read the other comments yet), but does anyone else think that Rebel +/- set looks like someone's home pregnancy tests???

Mom in MN

Free shiny stuff? Yes, please.


Jewelry?! Giddy up indeed! Bonus: I'm wearing real pants! Not maternity ones!


I would love some if this jewelry to wear to my next parent teacher conference!


Yay for free jewelry...and pants!


That black Swan cuff is gorgeous!


I think it's great you can wear jewelry at this point, as I only started a year ago when my kid was 2. The Black Swan bracelet is awesome!


I would love more jewelry since my daughter (18mo) insists on taking and wearing all of mine.


Hoping for random selection!


FUN! I especially love the idea of jewelry too small for the wee one to notice. BRILLIANT!


Ez has good taste - I'd steal that braclet, too.


Love love love that first bracelet. And the last one too please :)

Kat D

That site looks to be mildly addicting! Thanks for sharing :)


I am all about the shiny things!

Cammie Key

My new year's resolution is to accessorize more (than with just a burp rag!).


But what will I wear my tutu with?


I love jewelry! And your blog. Not necessarily (but, let's face it, probably) in that order.


I like the black swan bracelet.


Cool stuff! I like the idea of a jewelry personality profile!

Cath @ Constance Reader

I can has bling?


ooooh...I LOVE shiny. Great post and I would LOVE to win some jewelry :)


DUDE. I did mine. And of the celebrities on their day off, SIENNA MILLER WASN'T WEARING ANY PANTS. Dude. They do it too!!


I'd love to win something to match my bathrobe or faded black sweatpants that I try (not) to wear every day.


Aw, I hope I win b/c I'm havin' another baby and need something the kid can chew on. The older ones have ruined or lost my other jewelry...


Fun stuff! Love looking at jewelry!


I need some jewelry to go with my sweatpants!!! The ones without the bleach spots..


I like shiny things!


This is awesome! I'll check out their site now! :)


I want to win. I usually wear pants!

Rebel In Ontario

I'm a total Rebel (check out the user name...) and all things shiny are totally attracted to me...

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