Fruit of the Looms
Looks Like Somebody Needs His Own Blog

The Existential Dilemma of SHINY THINGS!

So. Okay. You guys know I don't really do paid product reviews and giveaways all that much -- and not entirely for any MAH BLOG MAH INTEGRITY credo thing, but more because 1) I don't think I'm very good at them, and 2) they really interrupt the flow of "talking non-stop about myself" I've had running non-stop here, for eight straight years. 

That said, I will do sponsored posts, so long as ME ME ME I MUST FIND A WAY TO MAKE IT ALL ABOUT ME, or at least tangentially related to the usual crap I write about. It's an incredibly complicated personal algorithm I employ every time a potential sponsored post opportunity comes up, and it usually comes down to my confidence level re: Will I Be Able To Work In A Reference To Baby Poop? 


TL;DR version: Hi! This is a sponsored post. 

The lovely folks at JewelMint wanted to send me some jewelry, and at first I was like MAH BLOG MAH INTEGR...wait, did you say jewelry? I MEAN GIDDY UP.

The site doesn't you jewelry, though. First you're asked to create a "personal style profile" by clicking on photos of celebrities you like and which shoes you'd wear for a night on the town and which handbag is your favorite. I guess at first I completely panicked because none of the options were 1) burp rag chic, 2) bedroom slippers, or 3) I don't know, whichever bag has a thingamabob to clip my car keys to and also room for three dozen slightly-different versions of Lightning McQueen cars and seven half-empty lip glosses in the exact same shade of Shiny Pinkish Neutral.

So I possibly may have chosen photos that were a tad too aspirational, as my original style profile apparently thought I was Lady Gaga.

I tried again with a slightly more honest take on my current level of fashion slobitude and ended up with better suggestions the second time around. And as a nice bonus feature, all the jewelry suggestions come paired with a sample outfit and some additional ideas for where and how to wear it. WEAR THIS WITH JEANS, FOOL. AND THIS ONE WITH A DRESS AND SOME DIGNITY. 

So since I assume JewelMint reached out to me for, you know, mom-audience-related reasons (as opposed to my WELL-KNOWN fashion icon status among the "pajamas are clothing too" set), I figured I would help them out and provide some customized, real-world styling ideas for some of the jewelry I liked best:


Picture 109

Slide this dramatic yet versatile cuff on and get lost in a daydream about the last time you managed to see an actual grown-up movie in the actual movie theater. (And no, Kung Fu Panda 2 doesn't count; I don't care if the part about the mommy panda made you cry.)

WEAR WITH: Pants. Any pants. Dear God, just please put on some pants.


Picture 104
This brilliantly understated jewelry set is too small to attract the notice of your baby, guaranteeing that it you will make it through the entire day without getting your earrings ripped out of your earlobe.

WEAR TO: The grocery store. Like a rebel. RISING.


Picture 107

What? Sometimes you just want a big ass hunk of bling. Bonus features of this piece include drops of color to both educate and fascinate your preschooler. He'll learn several new colors AND an important lesson about how Not All Things That Look Like Candy Are Candy, Son, all at the same time.

WEAR WITH: The "Constance From American Horror Story" dress that your husband got you for Christmas, because he just gets you, man.


Picture 106

The delicate filigree of this statement ring gives it a wonderful vintage flair, while the large black glass diamond will remind you of a time long ago, in the age of pre-kid disposable income, when you not-so-secretly hoped for fancy jewelry for your birthday instead of a Dyson Vacuum.

WEAR TO: Parent-teacher conferences. 


Picture 108
This simple antiqued brass bracelet goes with everything. And I mean everything. Jeans, t-shirts, dinosaur rainboots, Angry Birds hats, Jedi robes, Spongebob pajamas, etc. My three-year-old keeps stealing this one from me, is what I am saying. 

WEAR WITH: Your superwoman cape. Barring that, pants. 

If you'd like to check out JewelMint, you can get 50% off any piece of jewelry by entering AMALAH as a promo code. (First-time buyers only, code expires 1/31/12)

If you'd like to WIN a free piece of jewelry (anything of your own personal style profile choosing!), just leave a comment on this here post by Friday, 1/13/12 at noon EST. Winner will be selected randomly -- just make sure to leave a valid email address I can ping you at.




I like the Midas ring and the cuff bracelet.


I was a little skeptical because for a few of the questions I wanted to answer "none of the above" but it actually picked out some stuff I really liked.

Tricia Olson

Going to have to go check out my personal style profile . . .


I reacently found your blog and I enjoy your posts. this link reminded me of you and your kids :-)


Amy @ A Little Nosh

I'm terrified on what my style profile would be. I live in black shirts and khaki pants. I'm a rebel, yo.


This website sounds cool. I'm gonna go see what my personal style is!
Thank you.


You had me at shiny. My aesthetic is hovering somewhere between hobo chic and unapologetic yoga pant worshipper right now, so I need help.

Sarah Huckablog

I like jewelry! I am poor! Pick me! Also? I have no problem with sponsored posts as long as they are for the right audience and include a good FREE thing or kick ass coupon code. ;)


Commenting. Like a Rebel Rising.


Seriously? A chance for FREE jewelry? I think so!


Prettyyyyyy! My students notice my jewelry wayyyy too much. It means I have to actually coordinate things. Tis hard!

Becki K.

Yay for sparkly jewelry!! I'm sure I can find something to go with my yoga pants... they are black, so that makes them hip right?


Pick me, pick me! I want to win some shiny new jewelry! Now what goes best with yoga pants and my fleece?


Shiny things shouldn't cause you too much of a dilemma :-)


Sounds pretty fab. ^_^


Ooo...shiny things.


Yay! I love free!


I kind of love the way you do sponsored posts!


jewelry? fingers crossed!


Love the polar ends bracelet!!


I like the polar bracelet... mostly because I've decided that bracelets (particularly of that cuff type) are pretty baby proof.


Supa dupa cute stuff! I even bought the star and moon necklace you featured on here once because I loved it so much. Now for moooore jewelry!


The Plume Divine or Desert Rose necklaces...according to my profile. :-)

Pamela G

Oooh, I need the Lady Noir rings.

Sara H

Oooh shiny indeed. *hat in ring*


It matched me with the Savoy bracelet, and I love it a lot a lot. Yes, please.


Eh, who needs pants! My kid hasn't worn any all day.


I love the polar ends bracelet and the black swan - just beautiful!


If I win this, I'll need new pajamas to wear it with... my old ones are getting ratty, even by pajama standards.


I love shiny things!


I put on pants today and now they are covered in smears of cheddar bunnies and graham crackers. Highly overrated, pants.


I'm wearing pants, okay yoga pants with holes that I use as pajamas, but real pants. Love the bling. One can never have too many earrings. I even put in earrings to pick up the kid from school, even in ratty jeans and hubber's hoodie.


Yeah, imma need that Black Swan cuff right away.


Oh, I might like that page, I have no idea how to be a proper girl.


OOOOO so pretty, and they would go with my jammies too! lol.




LOVE all of these!!! This site could indeed be very dangerous!!!

Suzy Q

I like that bling ring. It's just so not me that it is!


I like the concept. Love the polar ends bracelet.


A shot at free jewelry is always worth delurking.


I'm always up for jewelry. The lace ring is especially nice.


Pretty things! I have to admit I am pretty awful about wearing jewelry except for earrings, I love me some earrings!

Andrea McLean



Love the polar ends bracelet. It really looks like I could wear it to grocery shopping and feel just a little bit more put togetherly fashionable.


Even though I already have twenty tons of accessories that I don't wear I still want to win this. 'Cause. The worst part is I don't even have kids to use for my non-accessorizing excuses. I'm proud when I walk out the door wearing a belt, goodness only knows what having kids would do to me. I would be well known for not wearing pants.


Somehow that web laced ring got in my shopping cart!

pskidw1 @ hotmail . com

Emily H.

My mom was just teasing me about my wardrobe. Like you I have and "thing." Mine is cotton. Not like an "only clothes I can wash myself" thing, more like I feel icky in anything made of artificial materials. Betcha I could find some cool jewelry to complement my "cotton only" wardrobe. Thanks for the giveaway (and the loss of your integrity)!


Didn't humans evolve from raccoons shiny=good. My raccoon nature is sparked.

Angi Hamby

Shinnnnneeeeyyyyyyy thingssssssss, love it. Checking it out now!


OOH! So pretty! Love the jewelry!




Oooooohhh...the Metal Mosaic Ring. Prettyshiny.

Suzy Q

That Midas ring will go great with that dress Jason bought you.

Also? I already done and went to JewelMint and bought some damn stuff! I need moar!

Little Neddie

Pajamas are THE best clothing. Thank you for the discount!


Girls like sparklies. Pretty sure that's from the Secret of Nihm - way back in the day.


I tried to go take a look, but it's pretty annoying that you have to give them all your info before they will even let you see their stuff.


Love the jewelry...perfect for everyday lifstyle!


What a lot of comments. It appears people like shiny pretty things. So do I, even though I ain't people.

Laura W

I like shinY things and I'm wearing pants! Gym pants, but pants!

Chris Sanborn

FYI - I jumped right on the boat and ordered a couple items. I was surprised to find out that this is a subscription service meaning you get charged $29/month for a credit to spend. You do have the option to opt out of the fee if you give them notice between the 1st and the 5th each month, but I do feel that I got a little bamboozled by them. On the plus side, they quickly remedied the issue and canceled it for me.


Yes, please, for the shiny jewelry. I love this idea.


Ooh, contest entry or not (PICK ME! PICK ME!), I'm headed over to see how Lady Gaga I am.


We all love shiny things! Can't wait to go see for myself. Now that my kids are a little older (read: they can wipe their own butts stage) maybe now it's time to actually FIND a style after 11+ years of motherhood :D


OMG. Best product review, EVER.


So shiny! I especially love the Midas ring.


Oh! Jewelry! I remember that, from before the baby. Will I be able to wear it again when he's 2?


Please? I could use a pick me up!


Headed over now to check out my style profile!


I love the ring!


Shiny things makes me HAPPY.


I love EVERYTHING you chose! So cool.


I love the style-selector type thing...clicking over now!


Ooh! I LOVE that Black Swan Cuff!


I love the constance dress. I love that show so I am excited to see references to it by you. Oh and free jewelry would be amazing since I pretty much only wear my wedding ring since children since thats the one piece I have managed to keep ahold of for more than 1 second.


Promo posts are fine. Just no more posts about cloth diapers!


Meh, I say to pants. MEH!


Do Canadians count? Likely not (we never do) but if we do... PICK ME! I am frighteningly accessory challenged and need the help. Risque for me? Hoops.

Sarah Booz

I've been reading you forever and I love shiny things!


I love jewelry that you can wear with pants! And also the polar ends bracelet.


I want to see the Lady Gaga jewelery selection!!


Love the jewelry! Very "Wearable"


Love the jewelry and I do believe every piece would go with my pajama pants too! Bonus!


I think I remember jewelry....and nights out...and dressing up...maybe.


Oh the rings, how I miss wearing rings! Now that my hands are somewhat staying a normal size (barring any salt cravings), I need rings!

Jenn S

shiny things! i'd likely end up getting a ring because my baby doesn't seem to rip those off as often as necklaces. oh, how i miss necklaces!


I think I need to head over there and check it out!


I suprisingly like everything shown, but then again, I also like anything shiny and free. Like a magpie, only I don't really know what that is. I'm guessing bird, because armadillo doesn't make sense.


What a hilarious yet insufferable website--"If you had an unlimited budget, what top designers would you shop? Select one or more:" Then follows a list of designers I know zilch about ecause I'm a normal human being who shops at Kohls and Macy's if they have a sale. Gimme a break.


Ohmigawd, that Black Swan cuff is gorgeous! And I love the Midas ring too... actually, I really like the Rebel Rising set too... Oh man, you picked some great choices to tempt people here!

janeen castillo

Luv your blot & your sense of humorous & self
have 7 month old & 10 year old boys
I look forward to reading your bloc everyday


ooh...a spahkly! :)


It's my birthday and my four-year-old got me a Transformers balloon. Thanks for reminding me of my grown up jewelry options. :)


I think I was a mockingbird in a prev life as I too get distracted by shiny things... I just haven't found jewelry to match my fancy pbj bff pajama pants or my sheep pjs.


I wore the one interesting necklace I own to work yesterday and everybody complimented the hell out of it and I'm pretty sure what they meant was "Oh my gosh, you're not one hundred percent boring looking today." So I could use some new jewelry is what I'm saying.


Holy cats, this site looks awesome.

kari weber

LOVE this stuff! Free jewelry is awesome! So was the Kung Fu Panda reference by the way, I totally cried like a baby.

Jack Attack

As a momma to boys I would love some pretty shiny things for myself!


Pick me, pick me! Great post, love your picks. :)


Pants = integrity.
Shiny jewels = integPRETTY.

For the win!


Wow, love it. Love that last bracelet.

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