Fruit of the Looms
Looks Like Somebody Needs His Own Blog

The Existential Dilemma of SHINY THINGS!

So. Okay. You guys know I don't really do paid product reviews and giveaways all that much -- and not entirely for any MAH BLOG MAH INTEGRITY credo thing, but more because 1) I don't think I'm very good at them, and 2) they really interrupt the flow of "talking non-stop about myself" I've had running non-stop here, for eight straight years. 

That said, I will do sponsored posts, so long as ME ME ME I MUST FIND A WAY TO MAKE IT ALL ABOUT ME, or at least tangentially related to the usual crap I write about. It's an incredibly complicated personal algorithm I employ every time a potential sponsored post opportunity comes up, and it usually comes down to my confidence level re: Will I Be Able To Work In A Reference To Baby Poop? 


TL;DR version: Hi! This is a sponsored post. 

The lovely folks at JewelMint wanted to send me some jewelry, and at first I was like MAH BLOG MAH INTEGR...wait, did you say jewelry? I MEAN GIDDY UP.

The site doesn't you jewelry, though. First you're asked to create a "personal style profile" by clicking on photos of celebrities you like and which shoes you'd wear for a night on the town and which handbag is your favorite. I guess at first I completely panicked because none of the options were 1) burp rag chic, 2) bedroom slippers, or 3) I don't know, whichever bag has a thingamabob to clip my car keys to and also room for three dozen slightly-different versions of Lightning McQueen cars and seven half-empty lip glosses in the exact same shade of Shiny Pinkish Neutral.

So I possibly may have chosen photos that were a tad too aspirational, as my original style profile apparently thought I was Lady Gaga.

I tried again with a slightly more honest take on my current level of fashion slobitude and ended up with better suggestions the second time around. And as a nice bonus feature, all the jewelry suggestions come paired with a sample outfit and some additional ideas for where and how to wear it. WEAR THIS WITH JEANS, FOOL. AND THIS ONE WITH A DRESS AND SOME DIGNITY. 

So since I assume JewelMint reached out to me for, you know, mom-audience-related reasons (as opposed to my WELL-KNOWN fashion icon status among the "pajamas are clothing too" set), I figured I would help them out and provide some customized, real-world styling ideas for some of the jewelry I liked best:


Picture 109

Slide this dramatic yet versatile cuff on and get lost in a daydream about the last time you managed to see an actual grown-up movie in the actual movie theater. (And no, Kung Fu Panda 2 doesn't count; I don't care if the part about the mommy panda made you cry.)

WEAR WITH: Pants. Any pants. Dear God, just please put on some pants.


Picture 104
This brilliantly understated jewelry set is too small to attract the notice of your baby, guaranteeing that it you will make it through the entire day without getting your earrings ripped out of your earlobe.

WEAR TO: The grocery store. Like a rebel. RISING.


Picture 107

What? Sometimes you just want a big ass hunk of bling. Bonus features of this piece include drops of color to both educate and fascinate your preschooler. He'll learn several new colors AND an important lesson about how Not All Things That Look Like Candy Are Candy, Son, all at the same time.

WEAR WITH: The "Constance From American Horror Story" dress that your husband got you for Christmas, because he just gets you, man.


Picture 106

The delicate filigree of this statement ring gives it a wonderful vintage flair, while the large black glass diamond will remind you of a time long ago, in the age of pre-kid disposable income, when you not-so-secretly hoped for fancy jewelry for your birthday instead of a Dyson Vacuum.

WEAR TO: Parent-teacher conferences. 


Picture 108
This simple antiqued brass bracelet goes with everything. And I mean everything. Jeans, t-shirts, dinosaur rainboots, Angry Birds hats, Jedi robes, Spongebob pajamas, etc. My three-year-old keeps stealing this one from me, is what I am saying. 

WEAR WITH: Your superwoman cape. Barring that, pants. 

If you'd like to check out JewelMint, you can get 50% off any piece of jewelry by entering AMALAH as a promo code. (First-time buyers only, code expires 1/31/12)

If you'd like to WIN a free piece of jewelry (anything of your own personal style profile choosing!), just leave a comment on this here post by Friday, 1/13/12 at noon EST. Winner will be selected randomly -- just make sure to leave a valid email address I can ping you at.




I need something that can be worn with gym clothes and tennis shoes, but not to go to the gym, it's just what I wear


pjs, yoga pants, whatevs. i'm wearing them.

(ps-pick me! pick me!)

Elsa Meyer

Pick me! Pick me!! :-)

Elsa Meyer

I can't see my last post so I am trying this again.


I really love that black swan cuff, as in "must have now", so I kind of hope I win!!


Me like shiny!


Thanks for the tip!




Pretty things? Yes please!

nancy gallagher

do sweat pants count cause they are my favorite?? love the polar ends bracelet


All my jewelry has been breaking so I could use some new free goodies!!

Miss Hope

My oldest is graduating this year and I'm in danger of a nervous breakdown because I'm not old enough to have a child graduate high school! (I really am, but refuse to admit it) A pretty shiny would go a long ways to helping soothe my nerves.


I realized with baby #2 that a bold accessory can really make a blah jeans and random shirt look like you actually tried. So sign me up for more great accessories!


Oh, bling . . this is awfully fun, I have to say.

Kim S.

I am in desperate need of something pretty and/or hip. I got a hot water bottle for Christmas. Let me say that again: a hot. water. bottle. Even worse? I kinda asked for one. And I'm 37. SEND HELP IN FORM OF PRETTY RINGS.


Pick me! Pick me! I like shiny things too!!

Rachel McDermott

Ooooh! FUN! pick me, pick me! (eh, I know it's totally random...& not holding my breath...I've never won a blog drawing)


love that it tells you how to wear the jewelry. if only there was a site that told me how to do that for every aspect of my kids might have a better chance of growing up fashionable :-)


Love your blog! (and the jewelry too)


This site is making my "spend less" resolution that much more tricky.... :p

margie s

They actually did a pretty good job of selecting something for me, even though I am laughably not at all of the demographic they are targeting. Nice taste!

sara m

Ooohhh, I love the polar ends bracelet. The website is really cool!

Kath Stewart

Love that last bracelet. Even fifty year old not moms need fashion help. What? Okay. Fifty-one


I wasn't quite sure I was going to like where this post was headed when I first began reading it, but dammit if you don't make every-damn-thing funny! I want that last bracelet.


much like you rarely do these sponsored posts, i rarely try to win giveaways- but for jewelry- i'm in! it's a cool site, and as a new mom i appreciate the reminder about pants... :)


I'll take free jewelry any day. Consider me entered.

Tanya R

I could do with some new jewelry. The toddler has broken 2 of my necklaces now.


But what if I just want the Constance dress instead? I'm guessing that's not an option. Phooey.


Do you BLAME your three year old for stealing the polar ends bracelet?? :)


Coco Chanel once said something about looking in a mirror before you leave your house and removing one accessory for a more chic look.

My Spanish teacher said she would do this, but instead of removing one accessory, she would add two more. I've been abiding by that theory of accessorizing since 9th grade.

Short story: More shiny and sparkly! MOAR!


Not sure I qualify because sometimes I wear tights instead of pants but we'll go for it anyway. (Also, not really instead of, more like just as a general leg covering. There is always some other more substantial material covering my hind end.)


Oooh! Oooh! Me! Pick me!


Love the jewelry!


i wanta win!!! i luv that web lace ring. and all those other cute pieces too. XO


That web ring is SO PRETTY!


Love that site and would love to win something!


I hate giveaways, but I want something pretty that will inspire me to dress in things that do not make me resemble one of my boys after my husband dresses them...


I got a Dyson for Christmas! It's awesome, but some jewelry would be nice. I don't think a vacuum counts as an *accessory*.


I totally cried at the mom panda part!
Pantsless, panda-crying parents unite!


I would totally remember to wear something like this more than once a week! Pick me! velocibadgergirl (at) gmail (dot) com


Hee! This was the most entertaining sponsored post I've ever read. I'm diggin' the jewelry, too!


Sweet! Fun jewelry with typically fabulous commentary! It's a win-win! Now, to go find pants to wear jewelry with...


i really like those pieces. not sure that a new jewelry site is the best thing for me though :)


I promise to wear mine with pants

Jenn Bo

You may not always execute your style, but you've got creativity in spades!


Shiny things! Yes, please!

Trisha R

Love your jewelry choices! Want me some!!!!! (Headed to the website now, in case I don't win some free shit!)



Lisa Kelly

Very purty stuff. Great fashion tips Amy! :)


Jewelry! I, too, have no integrity when it comes to small, shiny objects.


Did someone say jewelry? What now? Free jewelry?


I love shiny things!!!


Yay for jewelry! And for Amalah!


Very pretty! One of the benefits of working on a web design team is that we seem to be exempted from corporate dress code expectations, with no restrictions on jewelry.


I found them a few weeks ago.. I also filled out the style profile twice. I haven't ordered anything from there yet, but I'm sure it is simply a matter of time.


What a neat concept. And I love that first bracelet.


I left my house yesterday with no makeup, wet hair, glasses and a nursing bra. I haven't nursed in three months. I'd love to get something to make me feel pretty. Despite the fug I currently am rocking. Very cool, I can't wait to explore more into this site!

Paula in Ohio

Funny you mention pants. Our yacht club just spent 45 minutes discussing why the door signs say "Shirts and shoes must be worn in the clubhouse at all times." We had members very concerned about "what about pants?!?!" And yet, we passed spending $70k on a bathroom renovation project without so much as a peep. Pants. Gah. Oh, and the Black Swan cuff? Has my wrist's name on it! Gorge!


Pretty pretty things. A review post that I actually read all of is also astounding.


Man, grown-up jewelry! That would be so nice!


I like pretties


Oh! Accessory guidance! I truly draw a blank when it comes to pairing the right jewelry with whatever I'm wearing. Brilliant idea!


So pretty! And I normally wear pants, so I'm ahead of the game.

Rachel O

The Rebel Rising jewelry is great! (And not losing earlobes is definitely key.)


i love the rebel rising - my child calls me a hippie - guess that set might change my image? or not.


"Fashion slobitude"---describes me perfectly! I'm ready to accessorize with grown up jewelry instead of the kajillion tiny plastic frogs that keep appearing in my purse, pockets and car that my grandchildren scattered around on their last visit--help me!!!


Dignity, schmignity - go for the bling every time!


Very cool! I'm on my way to check out the site!


I just spent way way too long surfing around on Jewel mint. Even someone as fashionally challenged as I am can appreciate the shiny things!

Jennifer in Ohio

I really, really want to win some new jewelry! All my fashion budget keeps going toward buying new shoes for my son, whose feet are ridiculously large and never.stop.growing.


Beware fellow Amalah readers -- if you buy something, you automatically 'join' their site and are charged a 30/month membership fee. In the holiday hub-bub I didn't notice the charges. Their stuff is nice though!

Kristen McD

Nice! My New Year's Resolution is to wear more pretty things. This? Would help. Immensely.


shiny! I likey!


I could handle existential dilemmas with more grace if I had shiny things to look at while doing so.

Lynn Brooks

I usually don't enter contest or comment I'm a LURKER ugh! So I'm forcing myself to take this opportunity to tell you that you're my favorite blog and first on my list (favorites list)woo hoo! It does look like a cool site and I will check it out. Thank you for sharing your life with us!

Dawn K

OOOOh! I am like a crow because I am definately attracted to shiny things! I have heard good things about JewelMint and have wanted to try it.


Woodwork, and the coming out thereof :)
And pants. I really need to set a pants goal.


My top match was feather earrings, so maybe I wasn't being very honest either? I really thought I was. Another suggestion for me was the Lady Luck rings and I do fancy them. Fun!


I need something to go with my Wonder Woman tshirt my son gave me for my birthday...but maybe fancier so I can feel like an adult. :)


Ooh! Shiny! Pretty! But, really, you had me at 7 different lip glosses of the same pinkish neutral shade. ME TOO!


Yay! And I am wearing pants, too. They generally like that when you actually go *into* the office

Heather Z.

I'd like to be sparkly.


Do you mean pajama pants or real life leaving the house pants?? That polar bracelet would totally go with my polka dot pajama pants!


I love all of these pieces and I need more shiny things!!


Love this post! And jewelry! Also, sometimes pants too.


Such pretty stuff....need more....


I have been thinking about buying something from Jewelmint for awhile but then I worry I won't forget to cancel my credit every month afterwards! I do like a lot of their pieces though, I'm in love with the Message in a Bottle necklace. My toddler would think it was so cool.


Love that you didn't do the typical product review post and put your own personality into it. And love the jewelry!

Tracy Fisher-Kava

Styling profile!!! Sounds like something I need desperately. I didn't know such things existed. I mean it's totally ok to be 31 and have no sense of style yet right?

Valerie Archambeau

Lots of cool stuff -- doesn't matter what I'll choose, my two year old will steal it.

aimee @ smilingmama

Love it! I totally wear pants and go to the grocery store so I am qualified to wear some of those pieces :)


I want that bracelet!


Ooooh, shiny!! I love me some shiny objects! And pants!


Gorgeous jewels! (your friend, Amy B, sent me to your blog, I'm loving it!).

Amy J

Now how cool is that?


I wonder if they have anything to go with a catwoman suit :)


I would love to win a new piece of jewelry!

Leah B

I just poked around over there and they have some pretty cool pieces... plus I do usually wear pants so I actually feel "styled" today!


very nice stuff! and I wear pants a lot.


Oh no...another site for me to get addicted to! I love it! Thanks for the chance to win.

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