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« Mother's (Not Even A Significant Chunk of a) Day Out | Main | Hormones & My Hair: A Postpartum Update »

Lightweight

February 03, 2012

So after THAT happened, Ezra was once again knocked back to dietary zero. Liquids only, then small amounts of bland foods, then slightly less small amounts of bland foods, and so on and so forth. 

Ezra was...not pleased. Ezra had other ideas. Ezra found my box of Secret Mommy & Daddy Valentine's Day Cake.

Caaake?

Caaaaake? Chocolate caaaaake? Dis one? Peas tank you welcome? 

The thing is, there was nothing in the world I wanted to give this child MORE than his very own chocolate cake. Look at his little neck! The thinned-out cheeks! His arms are toothpicks and his backbone is knobby! Child, just keep that dinner of white rice down overnight and I swear, I will pump you so full of milkshakes and sticks of butter that even Paula Deen will finally be like, "okay, yeah, even I'm getting a little judgy now, y'all."

Caaake?2

Where my Weight Gain 5000 be at?

He cried, of course, when he realized I was serious about No Cake For You, but refused to part with the box for the rest of the night. He sat hugging it on the couch for while, tracing the lovely delicious pictures with his fingers, talking to it, a little bit. SOON, PRECIOUS. SOON.

Last night he ate a meatball with some tomato sauce. He's eaten close to half a carton's worth of scrambled eggs and all the toast in the house. Every once in awhile he still sort of stalls out mid-meal, though, so I'm hesistant to declare him fully recovered. (Also because the Fates are still up there, watching and listening, lightning bolts of plague and pestilence in hand.) 

Pediasure makes me twitchy (especially after the horrible amounts of day-glo artificial Pedialyte I poured down this kid's throat last weekend), so we're slowly trying to amp up the weight gain the old-fashioned way, with food. Peanut butter, whole milk, guacamole, good fatty oils...and all that goddamn hippie crap I drive everybody crazy with. 

But also, yes, I will absolutely make some Secret Valentine's Day Cake for you, Baby. 

Caaake?3

His shirt doesn't lie! He could still be a kicker! Special teams, son! DON'T GIVE UP ON THE DREAMS YOUR GYMBOREE HAND-ME-DOWNS HAVE EMBROIDERED ON YOUR BEHALF!

Posted at 01:56 PM in Ezra | Permalink

Comments

Poor baby, he looks so pitiful.

He could still be a running back...the top running back in the NFL is 5'8" tall. Anyway, you can't really tell, he could suddenly grow and end up looking down at all of you. If anyone can do that, Ezra can.

Posted by: Judy | February 03, 2012 at 02:00 PM

Poor skinny little Ez!! I hope he's able to enjoy Secret Valentine's Day cake soon, and with gusto (including keeping it down!).

Posted by: PinkieBling | February 03, 2012 at 02:01 PM

Oh so cute. If only they made pediasure in the form of special Valentine's day cake...

Posted by: Stephanie | February 03, 2012 at 02:04 PM

I have never wanted to make chocolate cake for someone in my LIFE more than I do right now, seeing Ezra clutching that box of cake mix. I mean, he said "peas tank you welcome"!

Posted by: Stefanie | February 03, 2012 at 02:04 PM

I always thought it was terrible when the recovering child began crying for food. Peanut butter usually, not that bland stuff. Then my husband, recovering from a stomach bug, said he could eat a little something. What would he like? Egg salad. Then I knew why the children were like that.

Posted by: Sarah | February 03, 2012 at 02:04 PM

Go Ezra, go!

Posted by: Erika Mitchell | February 03, 2012 at 02:06 PM

Mine are all skinny from this god-awful bug as well and it kills me...there something wrong when your first grader has to wear a belt.

Posted by: sonja lange | February 03, 2012 at 02:11 PM

Aw, poor Ez. You're the best mommy ever.

Posted by: Christine | February 03, 2012 at 02:21 PM

I always think of him as Zah!. He is absolutely stinking beautiful (all your kids are). I hope he is truly on the mend this time and enjoys every last bite of his Secret Chocolate Cake.

Posted by: JP | February 03, 2012 at 02:23 PM

poor little guy! I hate those stomach bugs - they do such a number on little ones.

Posted by: Tracy | February 03, 2012 at 02:36 PM

Does he like carnation instant breakfast? Same crap that's in pediasure, half the price and it tastes better. And butter with everything!

Poor Ez. He'll be back to eating you out of house and home soon enough!

Posted by: Cheryl S. | February 03, 2012 at 02:37 PM

Oh how it sucks when your little dudes don't eat. My 2.5 year old just recovered from last weeks bout of pnuemonia and is all elbows and back bones. And guess who woke up this morning throwing up? geesh.

Posted by: solitarysunrise | February 03, 2012 at 02:43 PM

Aw, the pitiful peas tank you welcome. The sadness. But. Vomit is bad enough. Blackened and thickened by chocolate cake that was good going in vomit is the ungoodliest thing ever.

Hope he's able to keep the rice and blandness in a bit longer before caaaaaaaake dis one.

Posted by: Arnebya | February 03, 2012 at 02:46 PM

Aw, poor baby. May you never, ever need to know this again, but I have seen recipes for homemade pedialyte floating around the interwebs. I can't vouch for any of them personally, but at least you'd be avoiding the dye. (I want to say that Julie at A Little Pregnant may have linked to one years ago? I'm not being very helpful here, am I?)

Posted by: Karen | February 03, 2012 at 02:46 PM

post illness my mom always filled us with whole milk/wheat farina cereals (cream of wheat/malt o meal) I still crave that stuff when i feel yucky or miss my Mom.

Posted by: Jen | February 03, 2012 at 03:20 PM

Dude, you have Lava Cake mix stashed away for V-Day already? You are one hot lady, lady.
And one great mum.

Posted by: C is for Cape town | February 03, 2012 at 03:20 PM

Poor baby. I remember my guys looking like that post-horp. So very pathetic. Here's hoping this recovery takes.

Posted by: Josefina | February 03, 2012 at 03:48 PM

Bless his little heart. My older daughter is on a special weight-gain diet (which is extra hard since she can't have any dairy, and do you know how hard it is to gain weight when you can have neither milkshakes nor cheese?) and I've been making her smoothies with a new Silk juice drink. I found it with the Silk milks; it's basically juice with extra protein, and she says it's delicious. I got the mango pineapple flavor, and mix it with mango sorbet and lactose-free vanilla yogurt.

Posted by: Leigh | February 03, 2012 at 04:10 PM

Awww, poor baby. It's ridiculous how much I want you to bake him a cake.

Posted by: Kate | February 03, 2012 at 04:27 PM

Ah, the poor wee pasty faced sausage! I hope he feels properly better soon and gets some cake (what is Lava cake btw?)

Posted by: Becca | February 03, 2012 at 04:29 PM

My doctor told me when the kids were little not to waste my money on pedialyte. Jello works just as well and tastes better too. Just stay away from dairy. It doesn't digest well.

Posted by: Cynthia | February 03, 2012 at 04:31 PM

Oh...that face! Those eyes! That little trembling lip caught in his teeth. I would give him anything.

Poor little guy. I hope he gets his special secret cake soon.

Posted by: sheilah | February 03, 2012 at 05:10 PM

I'm so glad this entry did not end with you cleaning once-eaten Secret Valentine's Day cake off the sofa and walls. I'll be honest: that's the conclusion my mind wandered to when I saw the first photo. He's such a cutie, though. I probably couldn't have said no!

Posted by: Hannah | February 03, 2012 at 06:00 PM

Aww! He's so little. Poor thing!

Posted by: Erika | February 03, 2012 at 06:09 PM

Man, I had all sorts of stomach problems as a kid and spent a lot of time on bland diets. I remember being so sick and thinking how nice it would be to have lasagna. I feel his pain.

Posted by: Jenn | February 03, 2012 at 06:28 PM

This company makes an organic version of pediasure and pedialite
http://www.naturesone.com/

(we use their DHA supplements)

Posted by: Kate | February 03, 2012 at 06:37 PM

Poor thing! I would have caved.

Posted by: Ashley Smith | February 03, 2012 at 06:41 PM

He could totally be a kicker for the Ravens. :( Sorry, still bitter.

Posted by: Ashley | February 03, 2012 at 06:44 PM

POOR EZ! He does look so skinny and rough. He need cake.

Posted by: erin | February 03, 2012 at 07:46 PM

Pedialyte also makes juice pops, uppy suckers, ice pops, whatever you call them they come filled with that nectar of the goddesses when our littles are dehydrated. My littles sometimes, nothing's ever always, slurp those frozen treats. Impossible to OD too, always good for me to know that. I send hugs and kisses and a load of clean linen for you all.

Posted by: Lynda M O | February 03, 2012 at 10:38 PM

From a mom's perspective, kicker is the best position on a football team. The other guys get a penalty if they so much as touch my precious baby!

Posted by: Minnie | February 04, 2012 at 01:42 AM

Oh the poor pathetic little man! He looks so ... yeah, sad and sorrowful and desperately in need of chocolate cake and many cuddles. How do you STAND all that cuteness in one house??

Posted by: Ginny | February 04, 2012 at 06:00 AM

oh the picture in my head of him caressing the cake box... poor kiddo. Hope things keep heading in the right direction, eeek!

Posted by: Jen | February 04, 2012 at 07:58 AM

Poor, sweet little Ez! Glad I'm not the only one who gets twitchy over Pedialyte and does things the "crunchy granola" way.

Posted by: SUPAHMAMA | February 04, 2012 at 08:21 AM

you and ezra crack me up!

Posted by: mpotter | February 04, 2012 at 08:56 AM

Poor sick little peanut!! I hope he's 100% very soon.

Posted by: Marianne | February 04, 2012 at 01:30 PM

That little sweet face is so dear. And holding that box of cake mix. Too cute. Glad he's on the mend.

Posted by: Jamie | February 04, 2012 at 02:12 PM

http://www.thinkgeek.com/clearance/on-sale/e578/

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS? Seriously, Ike is a budding Trek nerd!

Posted by: michelle | February 04, 2012 at 06:07 PM

I am so, so sorry that the mighty Ez is not quite up to his normal self yet, the poor little crumpet.

And, yes, Karen you *are* right about Julie posting a recipe for Pedialyte a looooooong time back, and if I may I'll leave it here even though I hope you will never, EVER have to use it because DEAR GOD, WOMAN, YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH.

Ingredients:
one level teaspoon of salt
eight level teaspoons of sugar
one liter of clean drinking water
a half cup of orange juice, for the potassium (Or, if they can hold down food, you can mash up a banana for a supplement to the liquid)
And to make it taste better they added 3 tablespoons of Splenda and 1 packet unsweetened Kool-Aid, fruit punch flavor.

It did stain...things however, but fruit punch does that anyway.

Hope this was helpful and I am sorry about comment length.

Posted by: Kammah | February 04, 2012 at 09:36 PM

Poor little Zah! But when did he start looking more like a handsome little boy and less like a nom-able toddler?!?

Posted by: Ivie | February 05, 2012 at 02:23 AM

Poor little monkey! I'm so sorry to hear he's still not 100%. He's such a cutie. I know you'll bake him the best cake ever once he's better. But, you my dear? You deserve a whole cake all to yourself for being able to hold out against those pitiful little puppy like eyes. Gah - that would've killed me.

Posted by: Rachel | February 05, 2012 at 12:51 PM

I agree with C is for Cape town, one hot lady and a great mom for having that Lava Cake stashed and ready for Valentines Day. How did Jason react to seeing that? lol (i'm sure he wasn't saying something like 'go make me some cake woman! BACK TO THE KITCHEN!)

Sometimes, you can't go wrong going the old fashion way when it come to recovering.

Posted by: Zaitel | February 05, 2012 at 09:41 PM

I don't think I could say no to that face. Feel better Ezra.

Posted by: MariaV | February 06, 2012 at 05:59 AM

Oh! My heart is melting like gooey chocolate lava.

Posted by: Ladotyk | February 06, 2012 at 02:20 PM

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