Home Sweet Hazmat



I woke up this morning and felt it: The last of the adrenaline left my body, probably out my ears and through the spaces in between my toes. You know what I'm talking about. I'm so anti-confrontation (what if the Imaginary Authority Figures shush me for being too loud?) that this week's Unfortunate Unpleasantess kept me amped and on edge for several days and nights, until: BAM. WHOOSH. 

On the plus side, I am no longer stomping around my house, composing endless emails and blog entries in my head or engaging in imaginary arguments with the walls. (Fuck you, walls! Being beige is not an excuse!) I also lost five pounds, somehow. But on the other side, turns out the comedown is a bit of bitch. It's like a conflict hangover that sucks the fluff out of you. Oh, lawndiapers, I know just how you feel.

Also writing kind of not so much with the goodness. Or something. That like.

Which! Again! More! Oh, whatever.


SOMEBODY has learned how to play the "SOOOOOO BIG" game.


He's really proud of me. I'm only 34, after all.


Now, here's where I get obnoxious (YOU: OH SO JUST RIGHT NOW, THEN?), but I can't help it! I'm still using this poor old blog as a baby book so I need to write this down: I've mentioned that Ike mimics things we say, and I keep trying and trying to convince myself that's all it is, because...well, come on. He's nine months old, he's not REALLY saying "yeah" when you ask him if he wants more Cheerios. That was a coincidence.

That he did three times. In a row. And then again two days later. Hmmpf. Well.

Other words he's busted out perfectly at the perfect moment, more than once: kick, dog, Dada, and hi. 

And then yesterday, Noah and Ezra were trying to get him to play the SOOOO BIG game with them at breakfast, and singsonging his name over and over again, like they do 25,000 times a day: BabyIke, BabyIke, BabyIke! 

Jason walked in and they turned their attention to him. This displeased Baby Ike. He still had both hands in the air and you simply do not leave Baby Ike hanging like that, bro.

"BABBYIKE!" he shouted, hand to God, clear as day.

I swear all four of us heard and dropped our jaws to the floor. (Well, maybe not Ezra, who doesn't really give a shit what Baby Ike does as long as he's not touching Ezra's toys or any toy Ezra may have ever touched or plans to touch again in the future.) Even Noah lost his damn mind. "Baby Ike SAID HIS NAME! He KNOWS HIS NAME! Because I TAUGHT HIM. Because I'M THE BEST!"

Yes, son, you are. And so is your brother. And your other brother. You're all just so crazy awesome I can't even believe it sometimes. Can you all just get in one big pile so I can snuggle the crap out you guys more efficiently? Thanks.





Your kids are awesome. All of them! =)


I am staying signed off the internets for most of the day while attempting to get stuff accomplished but so glad I stopped here, for that is just precious. He is darling. Its a great baby book, will you be getting it printed out for yourself? I fantasize about printing mine sometimes. anyway- Cute factor off the charts, babyIke!


Yeah, see, here's the thing. I DO believe your baby is saying stuff, because mine did too at that age, and no one ever believed me either. Quick word of warning though - it's sooooo sweet when they do it now. By the time they are five and NEVER. STOP. TALKING. it can get a little crazy pants. I recommend a timer -- "we are not going to talk again until the bell goes ding, okay?" I suppose this sounds way harsh, so maybe print this out, stick it in the baby book, take it out in four years and three months and you never know....

Jessica V.

THIS totally just made my day. They are all adorable and I love that you share your boys with all us Internet readers. I hope you get to relax a bit this weekend...was a big week over there.


I'm only 28 (which...I think makes me old and wise but I'm not sure) but I laughed pretty hard at the BabyIke! story.


Totally fun & awesome!

(Side note: how did the cooking class for ezra turn out?)


I cannot HANDLE the cuteness in this post. OMG can I have a baby right now please?! Your kids are awesome. You are awesome. No wonder someone tried to pretend your life was hers. ;)


Wow, at 9 months? That is amazing and we hereby demand to see video!


Your boys are so cute, I don't know how you stand it. I want to hug every picture I see.


Wow. I've heard subsequent children often learn things faster, but that is quite an achievement. Way to go BabyIke!

Kari Weber

My youngest was totally saying words then. Mostly BALL!!!!!! BALL!!!!!!! But also other things too. Way to go Ike!


I believe BabyIke speaketh. It is the benefit of the brothers. I bet he'll be a math whiz too. Although my first talked early, the other two spoke earliER, so I do think it's that they're absorbing everything and figuring out how to use the words and all that earlier (and sometimes they're better in math). This is of course said in my most professional, slightly less than scientific, nonmedical degree having, so therefore unlicensed, internet consulting before I call a real doctor for anything, even when there's blood, opinion.

Well, either that or he's moving out of the way for the nex...(DID YOU JUST SLAP ME WTF).


For the love, lady, those pictures make my uterus hurt.
BABBYIKE! Ah wahnt one!

I will update you Monday as to how much my husband is in your debt - 'cause the babymaking? it's on starting tonight even though I got my tubes tied the day after the birth of my fifth baby over four years ago.


OK and wait, wait, wait...does that damn book say how to cook everything? DOES IT? (whispering: and does it tell you?)


Hold up - I do NOT condone this whole approval of babies turning into actual people. Not cool. Ridiculously cute, but not cool...


That first picture? Is Ezra's face all the way! (such a lovely BABBY) And of course he's talking early...he has two awesome big brothers to mimic and follow.


When i first saw the blog title on my phone's feed reader i kept reading it as 'bab-be blogging' and and had to spell that word in my head and convinced myself i was being silly and that baby in fact has 2 b s in it. Now I'm wondering if that is in reference to babble ? I'm sorry, I've had a couple of adult beverages. You will have to explain!


Maybe early teething has something to do with early talking? In any case, he is do freakin cute.


Indeed, they are all crazy awesome! (And I'm totally jealous, my similarly-aged daughter is still in the rote "mamamamama" stage that, well, yeah, totally isn't directed at me...)


My kids had a few words around that age too. Face it, Baby Ike is talking. And he will probably talk more, and louder, than the other two combined, simply because he is third.

My younger grandson is one of the never-stop-talking types. He is also blessed (cursed?) with one of those voices that, in former years, would have pushed him to be on the stage, because he needs no microphone. Even his library voice can be heard a mile away. He's 16 now, but once when he was little, in frustration I asked him if he never stopped talking. He thought about it a moment, then said "Yes, when I sleep. But when I wake up, I start talking again."


Hahahaha I laughed so hard at that one! The breaking down part on the other hand: Not so cool, but needed. I recognise it, i lose my voice and my energy for a few days. Just take your time and some rest if you possibly can, and you'll be fine :-)


Look at all those teeth! My 8 month old only has two and it's so weird to me because my older son probably as many as Ike by that age.



Amy M.

BABYIKE is so darn adorable! My kids spoke early, too. And they're still speaking. Always. Never stops. Of course, I'm an elderly 37, so maybe I'm just getting senile.


He's a genius.

Yay for BABYIKE!


Of course he's talking. And when are you going to tell him that his name is Ike, not "BabyIke"?

Maxine Dangerous

Arrrrrrrgh, stop making me want to have kids! Am old! Am curmudgeon! Have cats, not children! ;)


Sooo cute, but it hurts my heart a little that my one month old will be SOOO big in just a few months.


Joe Fox: [talking via email to "Shopgirl"] Do you ever feel you've become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora's box of all the secret, hateful parts - your arrogance, your spite, your condescension - has sprung open? Someone upsets you and instead of smiling and moving on, you zing them? "Hello, it's Mr Nasty." I'm sure you have no idea what I'm talking about.
Kathleen Kelly: [talking via email to "NY152"] No, I know what you mean, and I'm completely jealous. What happens to me when I'm provoked is that I get tongue-tied and my mind goes blank. Then, then I spend all night tossing and turning trying to figure out what I should have said. What should I have said, for example, to a bottom dweller who recently belittled my existence?
[stops and thinks]
Kathleen Kelly: Nothing. Even now, days later, I can't figure it out.
Joe Fox: Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could pass all my zingers to you? And then I would never behave badly and you could behave badly all the time, and we'd both be happy. But then, on the other hand, I must warn you that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows.


Ok, so. For the last 8 months I was like "Aw, Ike is the spitting image of BabbyNoah..." but now he's looking more like BabbyEzra.

In other news, I have been reading your blog for way too long and should probably get out of the house or something. ;)


Oy, my heart, it bursts! I have a baby brother on the way and can't imagine the cuteness.


Your kids are adorable. I can't believe I have been reading your blog since you were pregnant with Ezra.

I'm wondering at what age Ike will insist on being called Ike instead of BabyIke? Because that nickname is likely to stick around until he insists everyone stop!!!


I love him. The Baby Ike thing is just awesome. When they do that it's great. My oldest believed her full first name was Maya Bean until she was two and a half.


My son was speaking at nine months, so I have no doubt that Baby Ike is too. Adorable pics, such cuties :)


BABBYIKE!!! What a great story.

In other news, I'm really sorry the after-effects linger. I hope not too much longer.


Your boys are the case for having more than one child, woman. You're making my ute all itchy to give my son a baby brother.

Maria D.

OMG all that cuteness! I can't handle it! Congrats to "BabyIke" for being so darn smart! Future prodigy? :)


Hehe your blog made my laugh and your little one is so cute! Thanks for the chuckle!


I started talking at 9 months, apparently! It can happen =]


GAH! He's so cute! And I love the BabyIke game. Hilarious.


hooray for BabyIke! The later kids really do learn SO much from their siblings. It's so awesome to watch them interact, and teach each other. We call our baby Seannie and I imagine that will continue until he is old enough to roll his eyes and put sixteen syllables in "MOOoooOOM!" Congratulations on your beautiful boys. Doing it right, you are, young Jedi.




This is just so full of Teh Awesome I don't know where to put the rest of it. Teh Awesome, it's everywhere! Hug them all for us, please! BABYIKE!!


BabbyIke? Is GENIUS.


He's so cute!


I think your 9mo now has the same the same number of words as my 26mo ( yes, 26mo has a county evaluation next month for speech therapy). Over-achieving third baby FTW!


Umm never mind i get the babby part of it now :-) he sure is cute as are all your other boys.

die Frau

Literally reading about "BABBYIKE" I came out with "Ohhhhhhh!" [that "oh that's so sweet I can't even STAND it" sound].

J is three weeks younger, or so, and doesn't say anything yet. Perhaps I need two young boys to say things to him repeatedly? Once he said something vaguely resembling the dog's name. Of course that means he knows it.


Teo's old speech therapist would totally give Baby Ike credit for talking. Go baby Ike!!


BABYIKE = brilliant like momma

Amanda Pack



I was so excited to enter the Air Purifier contest because I too have 3 boys...argh. But, alas I live in Canada. DOH!

Love your blog!!!


I just....don't like hearing about other people talking about advanced their child is. I know you are a lovely person, but for some reason, it always irks me. What is wrong with me? I suspect its because my first child (who is now fabulous - and for that matter was fabulous then) had a speech delay. And coming across posts like this would CRUSH me. So I decided I would never spontaneously share how amazing my child was at something unless I knew every person I was talking to and that basically they couldn't care less. Of course I always share what world class bed wetters or tantrum throwers they are. I think I am just interested that you have had analogous experiences (first child with initial delays/issues) but have such a different policy. Maybe I need to just get over it? Anywhoodle, I enjoy your blog.


That was the best post. Totally brought a smile to my face on this drearly Monday, I mean, Tuesday.


Avery has said Dada 1000 times, but has yet to refer to her father when she says it.

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