If You Liked It You Shoulda Put A Padlock On It

Home Sweet Hazmat

(What up, people. This is a sponsored post. Big thanks to Oreck and the AirInstinct Air Purifier. As usual, there's an awesome giveaway at the end and lots of me making an idiot out of myself in the meantime. Enjoy!) 

One of the weekend prompts for the March Photo a Day challenge on Instragram was "a corner of my home." A lot of people chose nice, neat, book-filled corners. As I do not own one those corners, nor did I have the energy to clean and organize and stage a fake one, I posted this instead:

Hot mess

I admit that even before I had all these children (and all their related sold-separately accessories), housekeeping was not really my forte. I have a very high tolerance for clutter and a natural knack for procrastination. (Both of which I am clearly passing on to the next generation, since that photo above was at least taken after we told the kids to "clean up.")

Now there's a cat and a dog and three boy-children -- two of which have officially started to Smell Like Boys on a regular basis, and I have not nommed on their little footsies in a very long time because STANK, DUDES -- I just...I don't know. It's overwhelming. It's...disgusting. 


1) Shoe rack in front foyer, filled with shoes that emanate the aforementioned radioactive foot stank.

2) Kitchen sink/disposal/trashcan area, filled with various unspeakable things that attract various wildlife.

3) Basement, better known as the place the dog likes to spite-poop on the floor whenever it rains outside. Also, one time Jason saw a snake and I will never, ever, ever, never stop being freaked out about that. 

4) Cloth diaper pail, at top of the stairs, outside the nursery. Everything is all well and good when it's just sitting there closed, but when the lid comes off...well, let's just say things get very, very REAL up in this bizzatch.

5) Noah and Ezra's closet. This one I will never understand. I wash their clothes. I do. I wash their clothes on an extremely regular basis and use perfectly nice-smelling detergent. Then I fold and hang up clean, perfectly nice-smelling clothes. Yet that closet smells exactly like feet and sweaty hair, mixed with a vague hint of maple syrup.

6) Noah and Ezra's bathroom. Holy God.

7) The closet in my office. There's a litter box in there. Now that poor old Max is really and truly aged, it's unfair to hide his litter far away from his favorite place to be (my lap). So FINE. Nearby closet it is.

So you'll never guess which corner of my home got the super-sweet air purifier, right? 


Anywayyeah. Oreck sent me a (freeeeee!) AirInstinct Air Purifier just in time, and while I gave them my whole "I'm not a review blogger but will be happy to find an appropriate, conversational topic that fits with your brand blah dee blah blah" pitch, it would be unfair of me to not include the relevant fact that I LOVE THIS THING TO ABSOLUTE DEATH. Hot ham, it's fabulous, and if you ask me about it in person I will make overly-dramatic faces about it. 

EVE the air purifier

Hello! I am EVE from WALL-E crossed with an iPhone! I am your silent soldier in the war on disgustingness! Do you smell anything coming from that closet over there? Do you sense any litter dust in the air? No, you do not. FACE. I also offer mood lighting! 

Am I easily impressed? Maybe. But maybe not. I like to think I'm pretty grounded and measured about a lot of th-OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND A DOLLAR. IT WAS UNDERNEATH THIS GROSS PILE OF SOCKS AND GRANOLA BAR WRAPPERS THE WHOLE TIME!


Would you like an EVE of your very own? Aw yeah you do. 

1) Visit Then come back here and comment, including one thing you learned about the AirInstinct

2) Um. That's it. 

3) Well, you can also enter three additional times, if you're feeling frisky:

    3a) Follow @oreck on Twitter. (Then leave me a comment telling me that you did that.)

    3b) Like Oreck on Facebook. (Then leave me a comment telling me that you did that.)

    3c) Tweet about the giveaway, mentioning me (@amalah) and Oreck and the link to this post. (Then -- wait for it -- leave me a comment telling me that you did that.)

4) Comments will close in seven days, and then I will select a comment using and email the winner. 

5) Okay, that's REALLY it. Other than the fine print stuff I have to copy and paste now.

The giveaway winner must be a resident of the U.S. 48 contiguous states. Oreck Corporation provided the prize for the sweepstakes but is not the sponsor of the sweepstakes.



I like:
-Size and potability, so I can move it from one area of stink to another if needed, like if the in-laws visit
-3 year hepa and stink filters! long lasting!
-Particulate filter: the heat came on this morning after weeks of unseasonably warm weather, and the dust from the vents drove me out of the house with itchy eyes. So, yeah, I need my vents cleaned, but a particulate air filter would also be nice.

Amber McN

Moodlighting... while you get your fresh air on. Awesome.

Miss Shell

I like that it can self-adjust, because I really don't need anything else that I have to constantly check on. I'd also love to have something that can suck the dust and allergens out of the house. My husband, son, and I are all sensitive to dust, which means I have to clean A LOT. It looks like this air filter could save me a ton of work.


I visited and learned that the AirInstinct has 4 self adjusting speeds. Pretty cool!

Shelly T.

De-smells a room?? Sold! This is amazing technology!


OK, I like how it monitors the stuff in the air and changes how hard it works to accommodate that!! I could soooo use one of these!


I learned that the white noise part is awesome and will drown out the noises in my life that drive me nuts!


I love this! I have two stinky boys, a stinky dog and a stinky cat! I love that it actually cleans the air.


This think looks awesome. From "Captures 99.97% of dust, allergens, smoke, pet dander and pollen at .3 microns from the air that passes through its filter." My allergies would rejoice.


I totally didn't know they worked on smells... I didn't know what they did at all I guess. We so need something like that.


I followed @oreck.


And liked them on fb.


And liked them on fb.


I tweeted it (as @lotsa98)


I liked Oreck on FB


I learned that it's smarter than me. I need more smarts in my house.


I learned that the filter is good for three years, which is two years and six months longer than the filter in our current air purifier. I think I was gypped, so obviously I need to replace my bum of an air purifier with this fancy iPhone-looking thing.


EVE-a! I think I want one just for the Wall-E references. But the fact that it changes colors based on flow speed is pretty cool! Can you have it toggle through really fast for your own light show?


My cat would love that it's ENERGY STAR® qualified.


now follownig @oreck


Automatic Particulate Sensor?! How rad does that sound?! Would love to win the AirInstinct for super allergy sensitive hubby, and monster babies! :)

amy s

It does the work for me? I'm so sold.


It has a one year odor filter.

Barb S.

I learned that that sucker costs $500!

I would love to have one for free :-)

Love your blog. Thanks.

Emily Eubanks

You don't have to change the filter for three years! This thing is amazing!


I follow Oreck on twitter.


I need this, badly. It is energy star qualified and can be used in a room up to 221 sq ft.


I like Oreck on FB


I learned it has a three-year odor filter. Yay! We also have a cloth diaper stank issue, and there is a mystery smell in my kitchen that I am not letting myself think about too much.


I love it! The automode sounds great to adjust to changing levels of particles. There are disgusting levels of pollution where I live, this feature would be great.


I learned that I need one of these suckers. Since my entire family suffers from seasonal allergies which apparently start in FEBRUARY now, i need one of these for it's ability to capture 99.97% of the particles (as small as .3 microns) from the air that pass through its filters.


wow i could totally use one (and its portable too!) because my husband has these working shoes... you know the kind with metal noses. And they smell beyond belief. Plus the smell seems to transfer to any other shoe he wears. This means that the hall closet where he puts them smells like nothing i could ever describe. Please help!


I followed on twitter

Emily Eubanks

Like on Facebook!


I learned that it was HELLA expensive!!! oh and also that four self adjusting speeds.


and liked on FB


I love the whole washable filter thing, I can once every three years, but I can't be bothered to install a filter every 13 seconds, cause our house has that much dust sitting around.

Emily Eubanks

And following on twitter!

Mission Control

Good lord I need this please. It's got a HEPA filter.

Lauren R

Love that it has an automode which continuously monitors particles in the air passing through its sensor and adjusts its airflow speed accordingly!


I learned a device that "does the thinking for you" scares me a bit, but also sounds pretty cool:)

Heather G

As the allergy is quickly gearing up, this would great to have! I learned that it is Energy Star qualified, and after my electric bill soared after getting a De-humidifier for my basement last summer, this is very important.


I have a horribly incontinent rat terrier who pees in my basement so regularly I have literally cried when smelling new pee hours after I just carpet shampooed. There is always an undercurrent of pee stank though no matter how much I work my Hoover. Hence, I need the auto-sensor for amount of pee stench.


Oh, do I want one. I had a purifier from that fancy mall-store (you know the one, the gadgety shop with the nice pillows) that died on us a couple years back. A new one would beat back some smells, but also help to curb the allergies suffered by my entire family seven months out of the year.


Ohh, the first filter can be cleaned at home instead of replaced? For those of us with lots of pet hair, yay.


I like Oreck on facebook!

Trisha R

I follwed on Twitter.


It works on smells!? That's amazing. I need one of these things.

Trisha R

I liked on Facebook.

Trisha R

And then I even tweeted about the giveaway and linked to this post...


Whoa - changes high to low on it's own? That sounds like a thinking appliance. I might not be ready for that. But I'll try!


Oh my gosh, I so want one of these. I have some serious allergies (thank you, super early winter), not to mention two stinky dogs and a cat, plus a baby on the way who will also have a stinky cloth diaper pail, and this would solve all of those stinks! 99% of allergens, I'm sold.


with two cats and two dogs and a three year old, I learned that I really really want one of those airpurifiers with all the fanciness.


lighting to match the pungency particle level of the air? That's amazing!


Wow, this looks sweet! Living in an apartment building, who knows what kind of awful things come through the vents. I went to the site and learned that it is constantly checking the air and adjusting the speeds accordingly. I love that!

Michelle S

Oooooo, I learned that this air purifier is Wicked Smaaaaht, ie. it uses an Automatic Particulate Sensor to adjust how much it purifies & stuff...
Also? It changes colors to let you know how smart it is. Pretty!

Trisha R

Visited the site... most impressed that it filters smells from " rugs and furniture..." I might be the only person in the world who hates 'new car smell.' And I especially hate that artificial smell that comes with some new stuff (like rugs...) Ick! If only it would suck up the dog hair in my house. THAT would be awesome!


With me being allergic to basically everything that floats around in the air in the spring and living with two dogs in a tiny house, this could come in handy. I really like that it's energy star qualified.


Love that it filters allergens, too! Great for spring, and opening up the vents and windows type air-cleaning.

Lauren R

I also liked Oreck on Facebook. Thanks! :)


Wow. We've had air purifiers before but I love that this one knows when to turn up or down automatically, for those of us who I guess don't know what level we really need it at. You learn something every day! ;) Awesome! Oreck AirInstict FTW!

Amy @ A Little Nosh

It monitors particles in the air and automatically adjusts based on the grossness it's cleaning. Or something like that. Regardless, I NEED one.

Joan Hilsenteger

I didn't know an air purifier would remove smells- with 2 kids, four cats and dog the idea of clean smelling air is divine!

Amy @ A Little Nosh

I follow Oreck on Twitter. @alittlenoshblog


It monitors the dust, pollen and smoke in the air and adjust accordingly...impressive!

Leslie M.

Holy hell, my small apartment full of smelly beings needs this! I love that it changes the settings automatically - that is amazing! (And good for dummies like me!)


Who knew that air purifiers actually removed smells? This girl. Now I know.

Amy L

I love that you don't have to turn it on different speeds and that it has 3 different filtration stations to help protect me and my family! I hope I win!!!!!!!!


I could totally use an air purifier that "does the thinking for me" ... can it also do my job? or at least the dishes?


The three-stage filter and that it self-adjusts the speeds is pretty cool. Would love one for my asthmatic kitty (and my asthmatic self).


It has a self-monitoring filtration system with the COOLEST color system to let you know how hard it is working. Love the lights! COOOOOOOLLLLLL!


I followed @oreck on twitter.


I tweeted about the @amalah @oreck love affair.


I even liked @oreck on Facebook.


Automatic particle sensing? And small enough to be worthy of some of the 950 SF of my house :).


Ooo :) I learned that it will make me love my kitty even more because she'll no longer be the source of my itchy eyes!


And I followed on Twitter


....and FB


Wow, I love that it's smart and turns off when you open it!! Want and NEED this!!!

Erin Miller Tosspon

I learned that the AirInstinct cycles air 5x in an hour. Woo! Then I tweeted about it. Then I followed them AND liked them. Thanks!


Followed Oreck on twitter!


Tweeted to Oreck and mentioned blog post!


I learned it automatically adjusts its settings, detecting the particulate measurements. Awesome. Need one. (Kid has allergies)


For someone who hates to change filter, it has 3 year filters.


It's Engery Star Qualified, Baby!
When the dog starts to smell like a foot, that's how I know he's due at the groomers.


I followed @oreck on twitter.

Suzy Q

It spins! 360degrees! It has colors! And settings! And payments can be as low as $34.09 per month.


I love that it monitors the dust, pollen and smoke in the air passing through the sensor with the Automatic Particulate Sensor. That's really cool!


3 stage filtration. cool.


I must say, this post should be a lesson to all bloggers about how to do a sponsored post. You've maintained your voice and authenticity throughout, the whole thing still feels like an Amy blog post. It's still worth reading, even if I'm not interested in the giveaway.

This is a fine art indeed, and I feel like my of "my" bloggers are terrible at it. I think you've nailed it. Well done. Thanks for this. It's refreshing.


Works for dust, pollen, and ODORS? Nice. Need it! Spoiler alert: You think your boys' rooms are rank now? Wait till they're teenagers...


Works for dust, pollen, and ODORS? Nice. Need it! Spoiler alert: You think your boys' rooms are rank now? Wait till they're teenagers...

Jessica Glover

Love the look of the AirInstinct, but with two cats and two boy-types at home - I need this bad! I have terrible allergies, but I love my furry babies, so..... Love the fact it is EnergyStar rated, also!


This awesome machine works on smells! That is simply fantastic.

Suzy Q

I am a zombie for Amalah and am now following @oreck on Twitter. My cat litter needs his thing.


I visited the website and learned that the AirInstinct senses what kind of particles it's encountering and self adjusts it's settings based on those particles.

I need this mofo. I have five cats.

Jessica Glover

Liked the Oreck Facebook page!

Katie S.

It gets odors! I have two cats and one very stinky litter box, and this would save my nose from so many offensive things. It is also able to adjust speeds automatically! Want.


I think this would come in handy for us because we have a kiddo with asthma...who also sleeps longer with white noise. Pretty cool that it is a smart one that senses the amount of particulates and adjusts accordingly. I am thinking near our kitty litter that sucker would be working on high 24/7.


liked on facebook!

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