Parting Shots
SO MUCH NON-STOP CRAZY EXCITEMENT

Underthere

Sponsored post ahoy! In which I talk about my underthings for money. What? Weird? A little? Whatever, there's free stuff for you at the end, so we can all be weird together. Mmmmm, creepy.

My relationship with lingerie is...complicated.

On the one hand, I am a 34-year-old woman who has been pregnant three times. Then hacked open for childbirth three times. I have breastfed three babies and eaten more than my fair share of leftover Halloween candy. I've fallen off the exercise wagon so many times I think it's circled back around and run me over, just for kicks. I am currently at my heaviest non-pregnancy weight, which is also technically slightly more than I weighed at nine months pregnant with Ike, thanks to an extended, shameful holiday love affair with ALL THE BAKED CARB-Y THINGS.

Forget stressing about being naked and/or scantily clad -- these days, I spend enough time trying to look sufficiently non-muffin-topped and saggy while fully dressed. Stretch marks and cellulite? I can't even. I will deal with you later

(STRETCH MARKS: No worries! We'll still be here when you're ready.)

(CELLULITE: Yep, totes not going anywhere either.)

On the other hand:

IMG_5711

I have an awful lot of lingerie. That's a good-sized drawer there, chock full of nighties and see-through naughty frippery. That's a double-decker lingerie collection, collected over the years for anniversaries and Valentine's Days and vacations. Or for extra special occasions, like Going Up Two Cup Sizes From Breastfeeding or WE'RE IN A HOTEL WITH NO CHILDREN HOLY CRAP PARTY.

That photo actually shows the drawer post-organizing-purge, since I recently sat down and went through multiple dozens of lacy silky things in order to edit it all down to a reasonable, well-fitting, non-tacky level. (I used to get the Frederick's of Hollywood catalog in my early 20s, yes. Nothing like one-size-fits-all bras that shed synthetic feathers all over the place, amirite, ladies?) 

At the very bottom of the drawer, I found the lingerie I wore on my honeymoon, almost 14 years ago. And oh, did it all ever make me laugh. Not just the small tag size, but the fact that it was all so...modest. And tame! I was 20 years old and had a butt the size of a postage stamp and a stomach so flat it was practically concave, but I spent my honeymoon more covered up than I usually am on a typical Sunday morning around the house, in front of the kids.

Compared to the plunging/push-up/see-through numbers I've since worn while pregnant, nursing or rocking extra pounds of baby weight, those first little purchases are dripping with old insecurities about how I looked. My boobs were too small, my thighs were too wide, my upper arms were too soft. I didn't really have a good grasp on what "sexy" was, but I remember I definitely thought I was not it. 

I was tempted to hold on to all that stuff, for sentimental reasons, but ultimately tossed most of it in the donate pile. I'd rather make room for things that fit me, now. 

This post was sponsored by Eberjey. Guess what they sell. Guess! Go check them out, then leave a comment here with your favorite item for a chance to win it. (I'm quite partial to the uber-flattering Ingrid chemise, though no, I will not model it for you. You'll just have to take my word for it.) I'll choose a comment at random next week, on 3/14/12. Can't wait that long? Get 15% off your order of lovely things with code AMALAH15 (expires 4/1/12).

Comments

Jodes

Ooooh, love the India Chemise. Thanks!

Lizgizzy

I am partial to the India Chemise. I haven't worn anything classified as sexy in so long my husband might have a heart attack.

Susan

Emmanuelle or Ingrid for me, please!

Kim

Love the whole Lady Godiva line, particularly the cami.

Laura

The Bardot 3/4 Sleeve Chemise is gorgeous! Although I'm sure my husband would prefer something a little....um, less. ahem.

spicy sister

The Ingrid Cami in eggplant!!!

Kate

oooooo! I want the Nadine Chemise and Robe--bamboo is soooo soft!

Ashley Hilton

I am in love with the Nadine Teddy! And I'm sure DH would love it, too!

Jackie

I love the Gisele sleep shirt. My hubby would love it too! Oh, I hope I win!

Everything is very pretty and classy. Right now I wear an old t-shirt with clashing pajama pants. I need help in this department big time!

Bliz

Love the India chemise in eggplant...

Suzy

I loved the delirious chemise - actually bought one for my friend the bride-to-be. Would love one for myself.

elif

Love the vintage stripes cami

Ariel

I love the Nadine Teddy...sexy without being over the top

Suzy Q

I think I would look lovely in the Lady Godiva chemise!

CarrieP

Well hello Bardot Chemise. I love you!

Kerry

Apparently work has that website blocked which I never run into really. Reason? Forbidden Category "Intimate Apparel/Swimsuit". Ohh those damn nsfw swimsuits! Anyhow, well have to pick a fave later!

Morgan

Love love the Clementine bralet set!

plz_thx

I've gotta say I'm disappointed with the size options. Really, no XL? Shenanigans. But it's nice of them to give something away, and nice of you to arrange it. I'd take a Starlight bralet, if offered, for sure.

barb

If I had to choose I would go with the recommended Ingrid Chemise. Super cute!

apricoco

Amy, In general I'm like 99.99% fine with sposored posts. Really. And I've been reading your blog since you just had Noah, but one of the things about associating yourself with a company is that you are automatically associated with stuff like this: http://www.eberjey.com/index.php/mini/mommy-and-me/jolies-fleurs-allie-bottom.html

I'm not against selling bikinis to young girls. But this pic is in the section of the site that's called girls mini. The product is right next to a photo of a 6/7 year old. Now I know bottom isn't for girls that young, but it's sold in the same section. It's creepy. Why do companies do stuff like this? Why sell a bikini bottom to pre-teens that is so suggestive? I'm no prude, but jeez, why don't they put stuff like this in another section? Why must companies sexualize girls who are supposed to seem sub-18?? I'd love it if you could address this with the company. Please.

Erin

I am most definitely a cotton Hanes kinda girl, the grannier, the better. But my new husband loves lacy silky things, and would love the chance to add to our small collection! I really like the Tigerlily collection!

meghan

Ingrid chemise, please!

Amelia

I like cheese a lot, so my post-baby body is perhaps here to stay. Also, it's cold at night, so the Warm At Heart Chemise is the one for me!

Della

Diggin that Lady Godiva chemise, although even a large would have to go in my "when I weigh less than I wore while giving birth" drawer. Because right now... I'm about 3 lbs down from what I weighed when I checked in to deliver each of my kids.
That's at least one size up from the measurements they have listed, maybe two. But the stuff is beautiful.

In other news.... I saw the stuff in the "Amaya" line and totally read "Amalah".... hehehe

Darcy

The Lady Godiva cami and brief are gorgeous. I'm sure it would be a much appreciated change from my ten year old college tshirt and old navy flannel PJ bottoms...

-k-

I clicked, and it's all very pretty, but they don't seem to be doing much for the larger-chested among us. At any rate, I don't have one of the 'into lingerie' husbands, so it was fun to read this.

Cara

Starlight Chemise

Carolyn

I love the Alpine Chic classic robe (I just found out I'm pregnant again, so my body won't be ready for lingerie again for quite a while! But a ROBE! THAT is ALWAYS functional!) :)

Christy

I love the Noelle Chemise. It's so cute.

Angie

I so relate to this post. I a few months ago went through my drawer of "things" and came across the "outfit" I wore for my honeymoon. Not only was it about 5 sizes to small (don't judge- I had kids and good food) it was also way modest. And for the giveaway that would be cool too.

Suzanne

Lovely! Put me down for the India chemise, please!

Superfantastic

I don't remember when I last bought lingerie. Or wore any of what I already own. So in the interest of, you know, keeping the romance alive, I'll throw my hat in for the Lady Godiva chemise.

Jenny

My favorite is the vintage stripes cami!

Mary O

Ok, that Ingrid Chemise is really cute. But my MIL's name is Ingrid. So that's... weird.

Janice Cloud

I liked Paradise Found Farrah! Beautiful!

Brooke

I'm with you on the Ingrid Chemise - lovely!

Lisa

I love the black Ingrid chemise, I also liked the delirious chemise, but I prefer the Ingrid. It's a lovely site!

Amanda

I had my daughter almost 11 months ago, so I can use all the help I can get to look and feel sexy!

I like the Noelle Chemise - it only comes in one colour, so that's easy. :)

jen

Swimwear too? OOh I love the Boho Beautiful Charlie One-Piece!

Karen

Oh, the Lady Godiva Chemise is so pretty!

Amy

India bra please! Oh so many pretty things!

Rebekah

I am in love with all these things...I got caught up with the gorgeous swimsuits (LOVE/WANT/NEED the Penelope Gisele Triangle Top!) but my(practical) favorite of the gorgeous intimate selections is the Pima Goddess T-Shirt Bra :)

Rebecca

I like the Colette chemise!!

Sarah C.

I adore the delirious chemise!

Missionista

I like the Anouk boythong.

Courtney

The flora bralet. Has to be better than my current "bralet," which is a ratty old nursing bra with a hole in it. I haven't nursed in over a year, so I'm sure my husband would love it if I stopped wearing/burned this thing.

expatriababy

Hello Gisele robe and / or Gisele chemise. I like you very much.

beyond

the bardot 3/4 sleeve chemise. swoon!

Erin R.

Gisele PJ set looks super comfy and cute!

Linda

Yes! This stuff looks beautiful!

Leah B

I am thinking either the Nadine or the Ruby... Both pretty and slightly sexy.

Maggie

Lovin' the Gisele Chamise!

MaggieP

The gisele chemise in pebble is very pretty

Kim

I love the Ingrid - I clicked on that link first and then looked around but kept coming back to that one. Gorgeous. I'm 36 weeks pregnant now but someday I'll be able to fit in to that again ... I hope. ; )

Becki

Giselle PJ set please. Oh please!

Izzybsmama

Love the Nadine Chemise!

Izzybsmama

Ignore the last one - switching my choice to the Ingrid Chemise :)

Cara

Love the Colette Racerback Bralet! But really, anything, because what girl doesn't love lingerie?

Kristen

I love the Colette chemise. Gorgeous!

saivazis

I love the lacy panties. All of them!

Robin

Ohhh.... bralets. You know, for boobs that are more like booblets.

The Collette Bralet is my favorite.

Marcy

Apparently I'm the weird one who wants sleeves. I can't decided between the Warm at Heart chemise and the Gisele tunic.

KristaMB

I would love, Love, LOVE the Lady Godiva chemise.

Jacqueline

I love the peekaboo panty and bralet!

Jaime

I don't currently have anyone special to wear any lingerie for but I really liked the Maldives Farrah swimsuit coverup. Would be great for my cruise next year!

Jen

Ooh, the Collette Chemise! what a cool site!

Courtney

I want the lady godiva cami + panty set! a) because i'm actually descended from lady godiva
b) because it's adorably sexy!

Susan

I love when you talk about fashions for us regular types, and the Colette Chemise is really pretty.

Ella

The Ingrid chemise is sweet! And might hide the fluffy middle I've got going on post-baby.

Emily

While I'm sure my fiancee would love the Lady Godiva chemise, I would love the Giselle nightshirt...it looks so comfy...

D.

I've been reading you for years and I had no idea you were a child bride, too! I was 20 when I got married, too. And my 31-year-old body is deeply resentful of my 20-year-old body. Gravity and child-birthing has been unkind. :(

Lisa

The Lola bralet. Because there's no such thing as too old to be sexy, as long as you have the right audience.

Margaret

Boo. Nothing for us plus size mommies. But I bet my itty bitty sis in law would dig the lady Godiva pj pant, so I'll try for that.

Janet

I like the Bardot 3/4 Sleeve Chemise toooo. So pretty!

Cassie

I have now pinned half of this website, probably much to the chagrin of my MOTHER, who follows me on Pinterest. Oh well!

If I had to pick just one thing, it would be the Colette Racerback Bralet. I love the purplish grey color, the lace, and the feminine/masculine contrast. It's amazing!

Devon

I personally like the Sabrina Teddy in Ivory, and to be honest, if I don't win, I'll probably just buy it! :)

sarah

The starlight chemise is gorgeous!

Funny how wrong we were about our 20 year old bodies and how perfect they seem on the other side of babies...and well, the other side of our 20's. :)

Rachel

Love the India Shortie...and the Goa Farrah Coverup.

Vanessa

I adore the Clementine Bralet and Lace Panty. Although a head transplant onto the woman wearing them would be just fine with me as well ;)

Kate

Oh, they were all so pretty! I like the Sadie Cardi, primarily b/c I think I'd actually wear it, as opposed to the other stuff that I'd LIKE to wear but would most likely just leave in the drawer in favor of my black cotton bikinis.

Melissa

Love the collette chemise!

Jenny

India Chemise, so pretty!

Sheila R

I like the Pima Goddess Plunge Bra--it looks comfy, which is important to me!

christine stephens

Hi! Hiiiiiiii! Colette Chemise in pebble please. I might just go buy one. Thanks!!!!!!!!!!

LaFawn

I love the simplicity of the Gisele Tunic. It's nice and sweet, just like me :)

Denice

I love it all but my pick is the Gisele robe.

fancybob

I love the Sabrina shelf bra chemise. Before getting pregnant, I already had a hard time finding lingere to fit my chest that wasn't too big everywhere else (34 DDD) or had NO support for said bra size. Now that I'm. 7 mos pregnant, it might be nice to wear something other than my husband's t-shirts.

leslie

I love eberjey! I'm partial to the chemises, especially the Lady Godiva, though the India is also lovely.

4elles

I LOVE the Lady Godiva chemise. So pretty!

Heather

Dig the India Cami! Wish they had more photos. Back/front/product shot with zoom available always makes me more likely to buy.

Lis

Oooooooo. These are pretty things. My favourite was the Nadine Teddy, which we may discuss further for my (lack of) sense of modesty.

Rita

Very hard to decide! I think the Sabrina teddy is my favorite!

lindsey

the Collete chemise in pebble is gorgeous....though the giselle tunic looks seriously comfortable. LOVE!

Cheryl S.

The cleo Camise and the cleo PJ pants!! LOVE. My hubby would probably fall over dead if I showed up in that. (grungy t-shirt is my bedtime style of choice at the moment!)

Brandi

I like to sleep in pretty things, even though no one sees me but my dog. I like the Noelle chemise.

Laura

I'm totes with you - Ingrid Chemise (in red!) all the way! But also, love the Gisele robe for those less than bold mornings. Oh and I wear bralets - it's for those of us with no real need for a bra. God bless this tiny sporty bra-alternative!

Elaine C.

Wow I've never heard of them before, but they have some really beautiful things. I'll be taking advantage of that code, thankyouverymuch! I think I'm especially partial to the Tigerlily chemise.

Ashley

I adore the Gisele robe! I don't own a robe, which is sort of a tragedy, right? (I use the term 'tragedy' loosely.)

Jodi

I love the Nadine Chemise!

Jessica C

I think I'm partial to the Nadine Chemise (but the Ruby briefs are to die for as well).

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