Hello! I am a bottle of tequila. Well, half a bottle, but WHO IS COUNTING? Tequila is not interested in your math, Tequila is interested in getting Tequila's friends out on this placemat dancefloor for a Cinco de Mayo party.
No, we have no firemen, or kittens, but I will promise you this: NO ONE WILL BE WEARING A SHIRT.
Oh look! Tequila's guests are arriving now. As always, I have invited a diversified mix of attendees to guarantee a wild, unpredictable time.
Blue Mug always arrives early and then stands around staring awkwardly at the punch bowl. He doesn't get out much and mostly just wants to talk about Star Trek and Game of Thrones. However, if something were to go wrong with the sound system, he is your guy. Can Tequila help him have a good time tonight? Oh. Oh yes.
Total drama queen, this one. But such a dancer!
Some might say I am crazy for inviting my boss. Perhaps I am. Such is Tequila. I make bad ideas into good, and good ideas into OMG WE SHOULD TOTES ORDER SOME TACOS RIGHT NOW.
Ah, you see Tequila's plan now, no? World's Best Boss Mug will most certainly come out of his shell when he meets Insulated Flip-Top Sippy Cup. She is young and vibrant and teaches measuring cups to read in her spare time. She is also spill proof! The perfect woman, really.
No party is complete without Red Solo Cup, obviously, but I know something even better: Frat-house antices aside, he and Blue Mug have much in common, over which they shall bond, share some drinks, and leave the best of friends.
Champagne Flute may, at first glance, come across as a bit of a snob, but Tequila knows her roots are much humbler: $4.99 for a pack of six at Ikea. Tequila will never tell, though. Tequila is a rogue, but always a gentleman.
Ah, my old friends. I go way back with these two, obviously. Let us not speak of the fact that they also, a long time ago, came in a pack of six. What happened to the other four?
Tequila happened. Also that tall human girl who talks with her hands a lot.
Ahh, and now my partner in freshly-mixed Sauzarita awesomeness.
The three little limes shall regale our party guests in song before going off to bed. Broadway Souvenir Mug will especially enjoy that, I think.
Hmm, I think we are all here, but is someone missing?
HOSPITAL CUP BITCHEZZZ AWWWW YEAH!!!!!!!!
And now we dance! And toast! And...
"Heeeey you guuuuys. I brought hummus."
NOW that's a Cinco de Mayo party, my friends.
(Or so I've heard, having never been to one before. Hence my response to Sauza's request for a sponsored Cinco de Mayo post being about imaginary party guests I found in the dishwasher.)
(And the beer. Which is sadly absent in that final shot because I made margaritas before making sure I had all the photos I needed. Shocking, right?)
(If you would like your own dishware party with our fine friend Tequila — or with actual human friends, IF YOU'RE WEIRD — there's a coupon on Sauza's Facebook page. Woot.)