My Baby Does Not Care About My Need To Compulsively Document His Life On Teh Interwebz
The Continuing Adventures of Gimpy McGee

The Inbox & I

(This post is sponsored by Hipiti.com.)

I get a lot of email. Like, more than that. A lot a lot a lot.

This is by no means a humblebrag about how ever so popular I am, or anything. I probably get a very small handful of ACTUAL emails from ACTUAL people who count. Opening the laptop in the morning usually reveals a crop like this:

ONE Mamapop distro thread about Sparklecorn 2012/gossip item/posting schedule that devolved rapidly into an animated .gif war at some point the night before and now contains 73 messages.

ONE email from a friend, or maybe my mom or sister.

ONE email from a nice friendly blog reader.

SEVENTEEN DOZEN assorted newsletters I did not sign up for, you rat bastards. 

SEVENTY-FIVE HUNDRED spammy PR pitches of the Wil Wheaton collating variety (i.e. Hello Blogger Mommy, I have been reading your blog AMALACH for several months now and love it! Your recent post about your dog/baby/houseplant really hit home and is what prompted me to write and offer you the chance to interview Dr. Martin Van Hornsplotch on the role that non-organic orange juice may have played in the TomKat divorce.). 

FIVE blog-related businessy emails that are relevant and need to be responded to, provided I am lucky enough to dredge them out of the endless waves of FIVE SUMMER COCKTAIL RECIPES INSPIRED BY A Z-LISTER WEARING NAIL POLISH garbage. 

Last December, I finally decided to take charge of my inbox and figure out how to delete all unread messages en masse. I herded them up (then of course frantically read a few that looked suspiciously personal after all, only to once again fall victim to crafty yet useless PR pitches) and the results were kind of shocking:

Inbox insanity

 

37,481 EMAILS ARE YOU KIDDING ME WHAT THE SPUTTERING RAGE OF WASTE

I vowed to never let things get that out of hand again. I created filters. I unsubscribed. I marked as spam. I requested to be removed from mailing lists. I refused to give my email address at cash registers, even though that borders on a terrifying level of rudeness for me, because it's not the cashier's fault, but holy lands, please just let me buy some socks for my kids without dooming myself to seven emails a week about KICKY FUN SOCK STYLES FOR SUMMER (AS SEEN ON KINGSTON ROSSDALE).

I set up Priority Inbox and diligently deleted line after line of junk in the "Everything Else" section every day. Until...you know...I got kind of lazy again.

So seven months later, here we are:

Screen Shot 2012-07-19 at 10.04.44 AM

 

*GIVES UP*

(And yes, the timestamps go on like that all day. I'm basically getting another completely useless email every two or three minutes. MADNESS.)

It has been suggested to me — pointedly I might add, by friends and family members who have found their emails getting lost in the Great Unread Sea — that it's time for me to create a second email address. To abandon my beloved, first-wave-of-Gmail-invites-back-in-the-day amalah@ handle and come up with a "secret" address that I only give out to a small select group of people. To basically hand this account over to the retail wolves and the PR people and shipping confirmation emails.

(And that one person who appears to live in the L.A. area and keeps giving my address at stores and specialty boutiques, either because they can't spell, don't realize the "fake" email they're giving out is someone's "real" account, or because they hate me and hate my blog and MWA HA HA I WILL SHOW HER. I WILL SHOW HER WITH NEWSLETTERS.)

You know what? NO. No I will not. This is my email address and I like it and I am keeping it. I will fight you for it. With...more filters and more unsubscribes and the Delete Key of Doom. 

(AAAAND here's where the sponsored stuff starts. It's super-helpful though, I promise.)

I am also now using Hipiti to eliminate the retail overload problem. Because yes, there ARE stores that I shop at that I want to get offers from. I want to know when there's a flash sale or a big coupon code. I also very much want to be able to FIND that information, preferably before I'm staring at an online checkout screen wondering if I missed a promo code. Hipiti solves this problem pretty handily: Sign up, select the stores you shop at, and Hipiti monitors them for you. You can view all current offers online in a dashboard mode or get ONE email from Hipiti in place of dozens. (The email settings are fully customizable too, so you can request that you only get emailed specific kinds of offers — I want the good stuff like coupon codes, free shipping, or flash sales; I have no patience for "trend alerts" or "new arrivals.")

And then you unsubcribe from allllll those individual mailing lists and breathe a sigh of relief. 

Hipiti is still in private beta, but you are cordially invited to come try it out with the promo code AMALAH. (In honor of my poor, besieged email address! Alas and alack.)

The very cool ladies who created it — Rama and Kristen — are also sponsoring a giveaway here: leave a comment and they'll send one winner a $50 gift card to whatever store you want

(EDITED TO CLARIFY: Uh, duh, one winner! I'll select randomly...so sorry for the confusion!)

(Just...uh...be sure to leave your email address. HA. HA HAHAHAHAHA.)

Comments

jenn

That sounds fantastic--I'm so sick of my email account being taken over by useless email.

Angeline

Oh please, please pick me! My email is bad enough with work stuff, let alone all the other crap!

Courtney Tucker

Sounds great! (Both the service and the giveaway)

Kate L.

Drowning in emails is the story of my life. Thanks for the heads-up!

Bean

This looks like a good service. Here's hoping on your giveaway! :)

AmandaG

I agree with your friends that you should get a separate email address for just your near and dear. But this sounds like a good option for all those promos!

Debbie

Just signed up. Let's give it a shot...

ris

This sounds like a really really useful site!

Ali

OMG, the DELETE KEY OF DOOM had me laughing my arse off. I cannot tell you the level of ridiculousness that slimes its way into my inbox. Love the idea of Hipiti, and will totally be trying their offer out. Thanks for the head's up.

Wendy

I'm not even going to come up with a clever comment. I just want to win a giftcard. :)

Linda

I gave in and got a new address. I don't get the same amount of email that you do but those newsletters and helpful updates and I don't even know what. Whatever. Thanks for the chance to live a more sane life.

Lorien

signed up! wow, this sounds awesome! :)

Brynne

That sounds super helpful. My inbox gets the best of me all the time too.

Vivian

What a great idea! This will really help keep my inbox less cluttered.

e

I would love a gift card to Banana Republic!

Liz

Sounds very useful. I have a handful of emails that I give out depending on how spammy I think the recipient is likely to be.

Kathryn

Sign me up!

e

I meant to leave my email address - emh9h at hotmail.com

Jules

What a fantastic idea!! I'm constantly on the search for good deals and as a result, get a ton of e-mails from stores that I shop at. My inbox also looks like a PR bomb exploded. A smaller bomb than the one in YOUR inbox, but still, I'm definitely signing up for this.

Melanie

This is a great idea! I'm going to have to try it out!

Ladotyk

You reminded me of one time when I snapped "No thank you!" at a poor cashier who asked for my phone number during checkout. He gave me a hurt look and said, "It's for the store. Don't worry, I'm not going to call you."

Kirby

This is brilliant. I have a dread fear of coupons and I am terrible about remembering when sales are and what not. Now I just need to work more so i can shop at all these awesome stores!

Ami

Yes! Thanks for posting about this. I will definitely have to give it a try. I just deleted 26K from my personal email account (and 51K from my work account) last month. My name is Ami and I am an email hoarder.

Lauren

Just signed up! What a great idea! (Although I'm sorry to say that I definitely need more than the 15 store max that they currently allow...I think this means I may have a bit of an email subscription addiction!)

Jac Lynn

Yeah. Ugh! Will try it.

Candace

Google does a good job of keeping inbox trim, but even I've noticed the spam wiggling its way in lately.

VandyJ

That could be incredibly useful. Save time in the hunt for codes at check out time anyway.

Amanda

I think this actually sounds kind of rad. I have TENS and TENS of these e-mails every day. It drives me pretty crazy, but I totally don't want to miss a really good Totsy sale or Old Navy or something. I will check this out!

Rosie

I have retained a hotmail account for my junk. Mwahaha!

Sara M

This sounds like a useful service...except that I have to sign up using my facebook acct. I can't access fb at work, so I will have to wait until tonight. It makes me wonder...will they be sending emails through fb or to my actual real email address?

Neena

Not to the degree that you do, but I, too, have the email overload problem. We went on vacation overseas and purposefully disconnected from emails and cell phones (family had EMERGENCY, just-in-case info) for ONE week and came home to the most ridiculous inboxes EVER. I feel your pain.

Liz

Awesome! This makes me very happy.

Kate

Ooh love it! I heard of Hipiti a few weeks ago and am excited to try it.

Linda

Great idea! I'm signed up and looking forward to the service. Thanks!

Amber

Allow me to add a tally mark to the "Why Didn't I Think of That?" chart. I can't wait to check it out!

JenR

I have a separate account for that... which I never remember to check and currently has over 8000 unread messages. Hopefully there's nothing actually important in there!

Diary of Why

Oh yeah. I long ago decided that my used-to-be-cool yahoo account would be the receptacle for newsletters and online purchasing, leaving my precious gmail relatively spam-free.

Miriam

OH the irony

Connie

I just recently did the same with my email address. I only had like 8,000 to start off with. It took a few long trips to get through it all but I wanted to die. But THIS idea is like a shiny unicorn off in the distance! I'm chasing after it! I love it! And I am SO SO OVER THE DELETE KEY OF DOOM!

MommyTime

I did sign up, though I also heave a sigh of dislike about being required to do so through Facebook. I do not WANT every aspect of my life linked together. There was no place for an AMALAH promo code, though, so I'm not sure what that was about.

I like this idea a lot, though I do with there were a way to input major retailers, rather than only select from their list. A few of the key places I shop aren't listed in their categories.

Raquel

This site sounds great! I have unsubscribed to places that I no longer shop, but I still get 5 emails a day from places I still shop. Would love to cut it down.

Becs

I like the layout! And this way I don't have to sign up for email blasts again.

-lisa

oh boy, I can relate.

what just arrived: "NBI Releases Plug Load Best Practices Guide" I have no idea what a plug load is or why I need best practices to deal with it. (tho it sounds a little anal, so ...)


but seriously, you win.

Autoclave

Love it!

Jess

Okay, I'll try it...

Jenny

Such a great concept.

Kim

My husband is constantly amazed on the amount of e-mails I get (between 2 e-mail accounts). Most of it are newsletters that I just delete and forget to unsubscribe. I really need to look into this! Thanks!

Erica

Sounds good, I would love to have all that stuff in one place rather than delete emails all the time!

Kristina

In defense of Yahoo, I think their spam filter works quite well. Most of what comes through are from retailers where I do actually shop. Every once and a while I'll do a big clean up and unsubscribe from those.

Amber P.

Very cool idea. Fewer emails to sort through sounds like a giant plus to me!

Kimberly

BRILLIANT!

Bethany

I was just thinking that I needed to start sorting through my inbox and making filters, but I'm always worried that I'll miss something important. This website sounds like it will help. Thanks!

Rama

Hi, all! We know that not everyone likes to sign up using facebook - we hear you! We're still a small company and behind a private beta, which is why we are only using facebook sign up (you ladies are some of our early customers! We love Amy and wanted to give her readers early access before we officially launch). In the future, we'll evaluate other ways to sign up. Thanks for commenting :)

Christine

What a great idea :D! Except I wish I could signup without using Facebook...

Megan

Aww, interested -- greatly interested, in fact -- but won't use their service because of the Facebook signup thing.

Jessica

Best.Idea.Ever. Signing up right now. THANK YOU!

Ashley

I'm so signing up for this. I've lost the spam war to atleast two email addys so far. The worst is when they try to make you feel bad for clicking unsubscribe- I felt guilty all day after deciding I couldn't read 2+ emails a day about what the President's luncheon schedule was like. Im still here for ya Barry!!

Nina Nuernberger

Oh my! Your poor email! I have to say, this does actually sound useful! Yay!

Sara

I gave up once I hit over 1000 unread. I admire your steadfastness!

Lindsay

This is AWESOME! Though I don't have near as many e-mails as you, I'd love to downsize the retail mail I get. Thanks!!

Sarah

So tired of inbox from hell, this may help me crawl out into the glorious sunshine of a well-managed account!

CarrieB

GRRRR. I know I'm one of about 4 people on the planet who are not on Facebook, but I hate it when new products require a Facebook account. Oh well, guess I'm not hip enough for hipiti.

Shea

pick me:)

Lea

This hipiti sounds like a great idea. Email can be really dreadful a lot of the time!

KP

Wait, this is fabulous! I've just started unsubscribing from email lists - as much as I want to know about the next sale, I can't do dozens of emails a day about the week's hottest trends. Perfect solution.

Cheryl S.

That sounds like a GREAT service! Can't wait to check it out! And $50 free money would be nice too.

Sue C

Marvelous idea!

Jesabes

Sounds interesting. I tried unrollme a few months ago and didn't like it. Maybe this will be better.

Meredith

Very cool. Thanks!

tasterspoon

Unrelated to this topic, but just a general thank you for your writing. I've been on a blog diet and haven't visited your personal site for a while but I've been catching up and just got to the couch-cleaning penis and am sitting here in tears from laughing. You are comedy gold.

Suzanne

that is the awesome, especially since I have
*the cutesy email that I got in that first wave of Gmail betas
*the 'official' email that is my last name, because applying for jobs with the cutesy email is not cool.
*the old blog name
*the new blog name
*the school email aaaaaannnd
*the work email.

I'd love to just go to one, but I see how much crap I'd have to filter through. Going to give this a try.

Carolyn

I'm trying it out, but I was a little bummed to see that a lot of the stores I get the most emails from weren't included on their list :( Oh well, I'm sure they'll expand!

Jessica

It's really insane how many emails a company can send out in a day. It's just annoying, and yet my fault for handing out the address.

thelovelyamber

Would someone create the phone version of this? I get a million calls a day (waking up babies, interrupting reading time and precious quiet time) for someone with a name very like mine but who IS NOT ME. Ugh. I am so ready to just be unconnected from all of it.

Suzy Q

Even with multiple email addresses, I need this. Boo yah!

Plz_thx

I spent hours creating filters on my dad's newsletter-plagued gmail account in the vain hope that when I send him something, he'll actually notice it. No such luck. He signs up for another newsletter every three seconds. I tried!

Danielle

Genius! So need hipiti in my life.

Kendra

This sounds boss. I'm signing up. Haaaaate the email, haaaaaate.

Liz

I'm with you. My email gets OUT OF CONTROL! :) Would love to have something like this product!

Jhope

I will not be sending you an email tomorrow. ;-)

Dr. Maureen

Commenting for my $50!

EmBake

What a good idea. I want to know about sales at certain places but it's so easy for those e-mails to get lost in the shuffle.

Melissa Armstrong

Hell ya I want a $50 dollar gift card to spend on me (gasp!) I also endure 100 or so extra emails daily because like an a$$ I sign up for everything using my normal email...including this.

Karen

Hmm, intriguing. I'm poking around the site now, it does seem pretty fun, although it makes me feel even more unfashionable than I already am. Target isn't even listed in the clothes section! Heh, seriously about 60% of my wardrobe comes from there...

melanie

I am not at all ashamed of my inbox now, thank you!! And this is awesome, and I hope I win. :)

Barb

I bet I really can't win this one! When publisher's clearing house knocks by I'll "alert" you. Just stoppin' by to see what's going on....

Abby

Oh Fantastic!

Kelsey

What a great service! Retail newsletters drive me mad on a regular basis, so I will definitely be checking it out.

Leslie

Is it wrong to tell the cashier that I don't have a personal email account? They never call me out on it!

Jen-Again

Yay for email reducers! My thumb hurts from deleting my daily emails.

anash

this is genius! thks for sharing

Sunny

so. yeah. I have 32,582 e-mails in my gmail account inbox. I. Win.

Elaine

I don't get nearly that much email, but I can relate to the spam!

Ree

I'm giving it a try.

velocibadgergirl

I have 2 hotmail accounts, a yahoo, and three gmails and they're ALL overrun with spammy sales stuff. I really should just start unsubscribing, shouldn't I? Oh, and email in case of unlikely winning: velocibadgergirl at gmail dot com

Jen L.

THANK YOU! This is like a wonderful gift straight from angels.

Amethest

lawls!!! Signing up now!

Courtney G.

GENIUS. I am already signed up and so excited about it. A gift card would really sweeten the deal, though, wouldn't it?

Fernanda

Just a suggestion: what I didin order to control the email madness was to direct my full inbox to the quarentine and then bail out the few real emails as I got them there. It worked pretty well. Sometimes I still need to check my quarentine folder but I rarely miss a relevant one.

Julie W

I take the second approach, forever abandoning old email addresses as they become filled with junk. Works for me!

The comments to this entry are closed.