July 30, 2012
Crawling, standing, walking, talking. All well and good.
But not nearly as delightful as the first time your baby picks up your hairbrush and starts dragging it across his downy-bald head.
Bonus points if he's never actually had enough hair to merit brushing, but has simply gleaned the purpose of the weird, spikey thing by watching you futilely groom yourself.
Or puts your phone up to his ear — or general ear-like area — and says, "abloooh?"
"Ablooh? Sorry, I can't hear you. This hairbrush gets terrible reception. Lemme switch to the comb and call you back."
Or tries to make sense of a doorknob. He KNOWS what it does. He KNOWS it is the source of his confinement. And he KNOWS to grab it and...and...well. He'll get back to you once he figures out step two.
Bonus points for...well. No. No bonus points awarded for this. HE'S JUST A BABY STOP PRESSURING HIM TO BE BRILLIANT ALREADY.
(Step three, of course, is: PROFIT!)
(And head injuries, probably.)