This post is sponsored by Wittlebee.
So these "online style profiles" are quite a Thing now, aren't they? The days of just going to a website and typing "black t-shirt" into a search bar are over, like what are you, some kind of e-caveman or something? Now it's all about personalized profiles and recommendations and letting fashion algorithms pick out your outfit because GOD KNOWS what you'd pick out if left to your own unstylish devices.
The only problem with those personalized style profile things is...well, me. The personalized part. Because I managed to thoroughly overthink the process and second-guess myself.
"Do I reach for Vogue or InStyle at the hair salon? I don't know! Which one has Adele on the cover? And is US Weekly an option? Perferably something in a TomKat divorce edition? Because I would read the hell out of that right now."
And then I invariably try to impress the stupid thing and make it think I'm trendier than I actually am, and then my results are all, "CONGRATULATIONS, YOU ARE LADY GAGA."
In other words, I still really need a nice plain black t-shirt.
So it was with a small amount of trepidation that I agreed to create a personalized online style profile on behalf of my children with Wittlebee (which is a kids' clothing club that sends you monthly boxes of fun and mystery), because what if I answered wrong? Is Ezra's favorite color blue or red these days? What's the difference between "sporty" and "casual" and if I say Ike is a "hipster" am I being too aspirational by suggesting that I actually put thought into his clothing beyond "OH HEY LOOK THIS HAND-ME-DOWN IS NOT TOO STAINED"?
I mean, let's be honest here. This...
...is not a photo of two children tearing up a Fashion Week runway.
See, if I was asked to write a style/personality quiz for my kids, it would probably be something like this:
WHICH PHOTO BEST DESCRIBES YOUR CHILD?
a) Made of ham and eyelashes.
b) Loves dogs, hates pants.
c) Is Lady Gaga.
I feel like those are straightforward questions with straightforward answers.
Wittlebee sticks to asking if your kid likes plaid or race cars. How do they feel about green? And do you need some socks?
I guess that works too. And I guess I did pretty okay on the quiz because they sent Ezra a monkey shirt. And I don't think you can do any better than a monkey shirt for that one.
GIVEAWAY! FREE STUFF! COUPON STUFFS!
Leave a comment on this post and I'll pick someone at random to win a free Wittlebee box of kids' clothes, all picked out nice and personal for you (sizes are newborn to 5T). Comments will stay open for seven days and then I'll contact the winner so please leave a valid email address.
Can't wait that long? Already convinced you are doomed to never win anything (PS I NEVER WIN ANYTHING.) Just totally addicted to taking personalized online style profile quizzes? Visit Wittlebee and use coupon code am15 for $15 off your first purchase between now and August 1st, 2012.