A Million Tiny Onesies
August 30, 2012
Okay, so this is random and possibly a little creepy, but are any local readers out there currently expecting a baby boy?
I have somehow mysteriously managed to acquire a metric buttload of baby boy clothing over the years.
The plan was to pass most of it along to a friend of mine who was pregnant, but she had a girl. Then another friend got pregnant but SHE'S having a girl. Everybody everywhere, with the girls. I guess it's because I HOGGED ALL THE BOYS. THE UNIVERSE IS TAPPED OUT OF PENISES. Sorry, ladies.
(Okay, that's kind of a lie. I did have one friend who had a boy last winter. And I was all, "I SHALL GIVE YOU ALL THE CLOTHES!" But that was before everything was sorted and boxed up all neatly-like and it turned out I was way, WAY too disorganized to make that promise.)
(And also emotionally unprepared, as I got predictably sentimental and hoard-y about the newborn clothing. The pile of "special" and "meaningful" outfits kept growing and growing, as I suddenly couldn't bear the thought of parting with a single itty-bitty Circo-brand onesie or factory-outlet footie sleeper. I feel more ready now. Kind of. Mostly because I keep tripping over the goddamn boxes.)
(Also because Jason won't let me put them up in the attic "just in case." JUST IN CASE HIS ASS, AMY. WE'RE DONE.)
(Just don't tell him about the box of newborn cloth diaper supplies I've hidden in the back of the closet. NOBODY IS GETTING THEIR MITTS ON MAH ABSURDLY TINY DIAPERZ.)
Anyway, before I just donate the whole lot of it, I figured I'd float the offer out: I literally have mountains of hand-me-downs here, covering most sizes and seasons. (Noah and Ezra were early-fall babies, so June-born Ike basically got an entirely new wardrobe his first year. The photo is everything from newborn to 12 months, but I expect to also have a stash of 12-18 month stuff available VERY SOON, FOR MY 15 MONTH OLD IS GIGANTIC.) It's all clean and in very good condition, though our local consignment shops would surely turn their noses up at the non-fancy-pants brands, WHATEVER. I'd just kind of like to know someone is USING it, you know? Need a snowsuit? Carseat bunting? Onesies? Jammies? Overalls and dress shirts and some stupid-tiny bathing suits? A full collection of every Trumpette sock ever made?
If you can arrange to meet me somewhere in the near-ish vicinity (and promise not to murder me and stuff), shoot me an email (amy @ amalah.com) and we'll talk. Tawk, even.
(Likewise, if anyone in the area is looking to unload winter boys' clothing in the size 6/7 range, ME! ME! RAISES HAND! PICK ME!)
(Metric buttloads of hand-me-downs and yet he's almost always naked and baby-beefcake. That's some good Alanis-Morissette-definition irony right there.)
UPDATE: Aaaaaand done. I think. For the most part. Assuming everybody actually takes everything they've requested, I'm fresh outta baby clothes. Absolutely thrilled everything will get put to good, loving use, and especially all touched and mushy that the majority of the clothes are going to families who REALLY EXTRA MEGA NEED THEM. You guys are good friends and good people.
If you have baby clothes of your own to give away, I highly recommend scanning the comments section for some excellent charity/donation ideas. (Which have made me realize it's ALSO time to stop hoarding my maternity stuff and pass that along as well.)