Open the Gates & Seize the DoofOuchOwBumpShit
Baby vs. Ocean

Beach Houseness

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We're at the beach this week, with Tracey and fam and the life-size cardboard stand-up of Harry Potter we swiped from Sparklecorn for the express purpose of beach house shenanigans. 

Do not:

1) Turn corners.

2) Enter bathrooms.

3) Wonder what that shadow is out on the balcony HOLY SHIT, or...

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4) Get into bed without checking to see if some asshole friend did this even though it stopped being funny four days ago, Christ.

(I am kidding. IT IS SO STILL FUNNY.)

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Also, do not eat this.

(This is pork carnitas tacos topped with Velveeta dip, green tomatillo salsa and microwaved White Castle burgers.)


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Also, Baby Ike is so blond it's officially ridiculous. Officially! I'm getting a certificate drawn up and everything. Later. At some point. First we gotta go to the beach again. Sigh. AND STUFF. 



I love the hiding Harry thing. A few years back, my daughter managed to glom onto a life size cardboard cutout of Joe Montana and sneaked it into my apartment while I was at work (she had a key, nothing illegal here), standing it up in the pantry, knowing that I would come home and immediately walk into the pantry, sans light, to grab a can of cat food.

I am not sure why she did that, I don't have any money for her to inherit.


I used to do something similar with a postman pat doll thing my gran had. I'd hide it in her bed, drawers, anywhere I could think of that would freak her out. Was fun!


Way creepier than life sized Harry, we have a Trilogy of Terror doll that we strategically place in dark places. It was getting kind of hard to render an actual scare anymore, though, so we've moved on to a fake rat that we take to other people's houses. It's very realistic. It is also very hilarious when you're visiting a friend who has relatives over who are not expecting to walk into a beautifully laid out kitchen to get a beautifully handcrafted saucer and RAT!

Heh. Tis funny.

And that level of blond is pure ridiculousness.


G-d bless you for those tacos. SO AWESOME.


When I was younger, we had a stand-up cutout of Michael Jackson (from the "Bad" video, so obviously the best version of him). We used to put it in the bathroom to terrify my dad. And in the front window. And behind doors. It was amazing. Every kid should have one in the house!


How dare you disrespect that carnitas taco that way?

...okay...I must admit that looks pretty fabulously delicious...

P.S. Longtime reader firsttime commenter ;).


You're having way too much fun! I am officially jealous. *enjoy*


...Love seeing Harry in your posts!


My ex-brother-in-law had a cutout of Bartles & James, the wine cooler guys, which he used many times. Especially effective when you unsuspectingly pull the curtain back to take a shower or when it was placed at the end of a poorly lit hall. How many days do you have left with poor Harry?

I have read all of your past entries consecutively, like a novel, and there are NEVER too many photos of those lovely children.

While I'm thinking of it: is the DC Foodies blog kaput or will there be more?

Urban Mommy

Yo! That Harry Potter? CREEPY, but very cool. Me? If I had a cooking bone in my body, I'd be whipping up those carnitas tacos.


We have a cardboard cutout of Pres Bush #1. I'm still not sure why...


Harry rocks those sunglasses and that level of blonde doesn't exist outside of photoshop. Seriously? That's the gold standard.

Big Gay Sam

You should never desecrate Carnitas in that fashion.

La Llorona will get you! :O


I love hide the Harry and I totally wish I had a Harry cut out, so I can have that kind of fun. Hmm. Maybe a local movie theater has one somewhere...


My friend used to have a lifesize Han Solo cut out, and I will never forget the hilarity when a bunch of us were sleeping in her living room, and my friend suddenly shouted "Agh, Han Solo, get off of me!!" Those are not words you ever expect to hear.

Oh, and Baby Ike has a rival in the blondness stakes. My soon-to-be two year old has hair so blond, it is almost white. See: Can I get a certificate for her too?


The Harry Potter thing freaking cracks me up! The one of him in your bed is too creepy, I love it! Your friends are awesome.


That meal concoction is positively genius! Also - I'm really sorry to hear you have to keep going to the beach. Sounds simply awful (read I'm a bit jealous). Hopefully you took Harry Potter!

Also, also - note to self: don't post what you think are clever comments to blogs after consuming too much wine. They are not clever and you will be understandably embarrassed. Sigh...

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