The Inevitable Zag
My Internet Crashed Three Times While Typing This Post. I Think It May Be a Sign.

47 Places Where I Have Recently Found Legos

1. Under the couch cushions

2. In my pockets

3. In my children's pockets

4. Dryer lint trap

5. In my handbag

6. In my fancy grown-up evening handbag WTF?

7. Sock drawer

8. Underwear drawer

9. Inside my shoes

10. Inside Baby Ike's mouth

11. Inside Baby Ike's diaper

12. My bed

13. My children's beds

14. On the floor

15. On the floor

16. On the floor


18. Stuck in the vacuum

19. Stuck to the bottom of my foot like a pointy motherfucker

20. Car seats

21. Car cup holders

22. On the car floor, duh

23. In the stroller storage basket

24. In the wipes case

25. Silverware drawer

26. In the giant Lego bin

27. Directly outside the giant Lego bin

Photo (47)

28. Dining room table

29. Kitchen table

30. Patio table

31. Coffee table

32. Train table

33. Extra kitchen table/island thing that we bought for entertaining that is now firmly in the control of the Legos

Photo (48)

34. Vegetable crisper

35. In the sink

36. In the tub

37. In the toilet

38. In my jewelry box

39. In my makeup case

40. In my nightstand next to Private Marital Things

41. In the fireplace

42. With the Duplo Blocks

43. With the Mega Blocks

44. With the toy cars

45. With the toy trains

46. In the Monopoly box 

47. And wherever the actual Monopoly pieces are, I bet there are probably Legos there, too.


Photo (49)

Photo (46)





We have shag carpet in the basement. Legos can hide very well down there just waiting for bare feet.


The veggie crisper wins!


At least they haven't made it to the trash can (or have they?!!!!)Will 48. be Ceiba's mouth? I keep finding them in the fridge now. Apparently even misshapen "oh, that's a car"s need cooling off.


Given #47, I will add for you that there is a deeply unpleasant #48 that you can probably expect on your dog walk tomorrow morning. I am sorry.


I threatened to throw away any legos or polly pocket parts I found on the floor (assuming the dogs didn't eat them first). It works to keep them cleaned up, sort of.


This sounds like my house, but because we are selling it and need to hide all the Legos it is equally a)fantastic because the Legos are hidden, and b)fucking awful because I have to track down all the Legos, all the time.


Lego Jarjar was just trying to help your list OCD end on an even number.

Or he has two friends also in new homes, just waiting for you to find THEM and make this list a nice round 50. Good luck!


oh, my sorry-assness needed a laugh this morning. thanks for that.


Apparently, when your ass is that sorry, you forget how the shift key works.

Denice Johnson



Yep. And my son turns five on Saturday. More Legos will be entering the house. All I can say is those Legos better stay out of my coffee and wine.


The floor in hell is littered in Legos. I tell myself this every time I step on one.


Good news: Lego no longer becomes stuck in my vacuum.

Bad news: Because there is a Bakugan clogging the tube.

Some sick fuck in the "Toys to make Mothers insane" R&D division decided to make those things magnetic and therefore UNREMOVABLE from metal vacuum tubes.


Yes, all of those places and a few more. The best one today was the one my nine year old stepped on twice on the floor of his room and still didn't pick it up until I told him to.


I hate LEGOS. Sometimes I vacuum them up and pretend I didn't notice.


Yep. Plus the desk, the bookshelves, the buffet, the coat closet, and the fireplace mantel. I know your pain.


My boy is only just starting to get into Legos. At the moment we only have a shoebox full, but that is enough to MAKE ME CRAZY. God help us all the day we need a giant bin to contain them!


Stepping on those things makes a person joke!!


Number 19 - DAMN, nothing hurts like a Lego to the foot in the middle of the night.


All of those (except the diaper one), plus

48. Their laundry basket
49. The washer
50. The dryer.

I've started keeping a collection on top of the dryer.


I'm expecting my second son in a couple of weeks. Can I also expect such a riot of Legos to invade my house in the future? The picture under #33 is kind of horrifying to me.


#40 - Same here.


Jar Jar Drinks


That would drive me crazy! It makes me glad I have a girl. Although, she might like legos. I guess I shouldn't assume she won't. Aack!

Jennifer B

THANK GOD someone else on the planet has more Legos than we do, that's all I have to say.


You have just listed all of the places I have found bananas. Guess whose kid loves bananas but refuses to eat them at the table?


Stepping on Legos (and other such tiny things) is awful, but what's worse is KNEELING on them.

I was on the floor with my daughter a few months ago and kneeled right on a little counting bear. Fucker was on his back, too, with all his little feet pointing right up and into my knee cap.

If I hadn't already been on the ground, I'm pretty sure I would've passed out from the pain.


holy fuckballs that is a metric shit-ton of Legos!!
we're still on our first little box of Duplo, but i know my time is coming. *sigh*


None in the microwave? Someone's slipping!


My friend has 2 girls and I have 2 boys. She's expecting her third, and last time they came to visit she said "If having a boy means I'm going to have this many freaking legos all over my house, then I'm hoping for a 3rd girl." I told her it's really not different than stepping on all the tiny princess high heels at her house.


This post officially scared the crap out of me. I'm due with my first kid, who happens to be a boy, in two months. My biggest fear is a house full of Legos. Lord help us.


#40 is my favorite...since when did Legos get so popular, anyway!?


I will take the LEGO over the Magic cards ANY DAY. The LEGO at least makes sense to me (although I agree, I don't understand why I found a LEGO Trixie torso in the compost bin) (and I am pretty chagrined to have been able to identify it as Trixie without juvenile assistance)... I don't know what those dumb Magic cards do.

Emily Savage

I did my time with the Lego's with my (now adult)children--I can totally sympathize. The only thing that comes close for sheer annoyance is that awful cellophane Easter grass that goes in Easter baskets. I would still be vacuuming up that stuff at Christmas. Also, if any of your boys is someday musically inclined--BEWARE the guitar pick! My son moved out years ago, and I still find them from time to time...


Hmm...I think I'll be discouraging legos in my house.


I thought that last one was a pirate ship! And I got SO excited! And I think I might need help.


I laughed so hard that you took a picture of the legos next to the lego box.

Korinthia Klein

Legos NEXT to the lego box. That is all the time here. Seriously? Guh.


We just donated three big 71-quart sized Rubbermaid storage containers full of Legos to Goodwill, because he's "fourteen and a HALF now, and shaving, and everything, and GOD, even playing football, DUH!" Hey, you don't have to convince me, kid, I'll even drive you to Goodwill my damnself. Just pull up your saggy-ass pants and get your hair out of your eyes. (Although I did get a little misty-eyed on the way home. You know your little boy is gone for good when he gives up the Legos...)



Bozoette Mary

As a veteran of the Lego Wars, I can tell you that the only way to win it is this: Every time you find a Lego where none should be, you must pick it up and throw it away. Do not say a word; just throw. it. away. They will never miss them.


Oh boy can I relate to numbers 14 to 17, and thus I can only imagine how painful number 9 must have been (given the right angle when putting on the show). BTW, stepping on a piece of lego when getting out of bed gets you from 0 to 100 in absolutely no time. Better than any alarm clock.


In the vacuum cleaner bag (see "On the floor" and also "On the floor"). And it's probably not a generic block, but one of those extra special helmets or God knows what.


Oh yes. OH. YES. I couldn't deal any longer and implemented this following gem, this woman is my idol:
Yeah, I paid a zillion $ for shipping those suckers from Ikea because we moved where there is no Ikea (SOB.) Put together everything, organized the legos by color (f the labels, there is no way I'm doing that), and all was well. For about an hour. Now, I am constantly yelling for the legos to be put BACK IN THE DRAWERS OMG. But at least there is a system that makes me feel better about myself. ;)


Omg I laughed so hard I can totally relate and unfortunately its not just my son but my hubby as well and I have this stupid deal not to throw any of them out and same with hot wheels its so bad I've also found them in litter boxes and animal cages we're moving and I've already packed one big box of legs and Im not even maybe halfway done and Im not talking about duplo nope the little tiny evil ones


Try having a husband that collects them too. They call them selves AFOL (adult fans of Lego). He has collected since his childhood. He has an estimated 25,000$ in Lego and buys more all the time.


Funny! I collect the box tops
for our elementary school and
today two skeleton minifigs
were in a bag with box tops and
labels for education.


I read this yesterday, laughed, and I know it is true... but I still didn't expect to find one in my wallet today when I was paying for the groceries. IN my wallet. How? I don't know.


Good thing you don't have a tropical fish tank. Just sayin'.


OMG this made me laugh AND cry! It's like you've been to our house, too. I'm SO done with the Lego phase but I'm sure some day I'll miss it.

tonya lucky your kids didn't like to play with jacks! Remember those metal little mf's? I never knew why my mom hated those things! My son, now 20, reminded me! Those were quickly chucked out. Thanks grandma for getting him those for Christmas!


So glad my daughter is too young to play with lego but I can so see this happening to me if she ever falls in love with it.

Jess Bowen

I laughed so hard at this - thanks. There is a lego on the ground in the parking lot where I park - I see it every day and glower at it.

My best lego tip: line your giant lego bin with a king size flat sheet. Lift it out to play, swoop up the corners and lift the whole lot back into the bin when your done. It helps a little.

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