My Internet Crashed Three Times While Typing This Post. I Think It May Be a Sign.
September 21, 2012
Well, let me tell you WHAT; it has been a seriously exciting 24 hours around here. I mean, by blogging standards. Okay, by THIS BLOG'S standards.
You know what? Shut up. Forget I said anything.
Part Excitement The First: I lost my wallet for 27 whole minutes. Twenty-seven excruciating minutes, during which I ran around the house like a panicked flappy loon while Jason called a pizza restaurant I sorta kinda thought maybe I paid for the check and so maaaaaybe I left it on the table? But he asked them if they found a "clutch-purse" and of course they hadn't found a "clutch-purse" and so I hollered at him from two rooms over (where I was re-digging through my purse for the millionth time because WALLETS DON'T JUST SPROUT LEGS AND WALK) that no, IT WASN'T A CLUTCH-PURSE, IT'S A WALLET. A WALLLLLLLL-ET.
He hung up without clarifying and stared at me. "What's the difference? It's not there."
"HOW DO YOU KNOW IT'S NOT THERE," I countered. "You called it a 'clutch-purse.' The results are invalid."
"Amy, do you really think they would say, hmmm, we did find that orange wallet that no one's claimed yet, but this guy's asking about an orange clutch-purse. That's two completely different things! Probably shouldn't even mention it!"
"They might! Because they are two different things! Although I don't think 'clutch-purse' is actually something people even say but oh wait look here's my wallet never mind."
It was in the foyer under the shoe rack, next to some Legos.
Part Excitement The Second: Baby Ike literally quadrupled in size. LITERALLY.
And he's already getting a headstart on the next growth spurt, with some incredibly tippy-toe balance.
Part Excitement The Third: Back-to-School Night. The always-thrilling experience of getting to perch half a buttcheek on a teeny tiny chair for 45 minutes wishing all the other parents would stop being so goddamned INVOLVED and ENTHUSIASTIC and QUESTION-ASKING-Y because c'mon! We could have left 15 minutes ago! You're ruining recess! Let's bail before she changes her mind and gives us homework!
This was Noah's note to us this year:
Dear Mom Dad,
You are so special because you AlWAYS bRiNe Me to rESturanTS.
Damn skippy, you little pickle. AND DON'T YOU EVER FORGET IT.